Josh stood by the entrance to the car park and waited. He heard a car horn and saw Adam waving at him. As Josh approached Adam got out of the car and shook his hand.
"It's good to meet you, I'm just sorry it's under these circumstances…circumstances which I'm afraid have got a whole lot worse since we last talked."
Josh listened as Adam explained to him what had happened. He swallowed against the bile that rose in his throat and wished he had taken Toby's advice about not drinking the coffee.
"Do we need to phone someone? I mean, Sam's position is…his job…is there someone we should tell about this?"
Josh was still trying to process the information as Sam's friend and it hadn't even occurred to him what he should be doing about it as a colleague. "No, it's not like he's been abducted… Sam running out of your house hardly poses a threat to national security and anyway he's probably just gone to cool off and will be sitting outside by the time we get back."
Adam didn't reply; he had seen the look on Sam's face and knew he wasn't coming back anytime soon.
When they arrived at Adam's home Josh looked genuinely disappointed to not find Sam sitting on the front steps.
"How do you want to do this?" Josh asked. "I don't know the area so it's probably best if I stick with you. We can…drive around and look or maybe walk…driving will probably be best right, we can cover more ground?"
Adam couldn't help smiling. Standing in front of him was the Deputy Chief of Staff of the United States and he looked utterly lost.
"I'm going to phone a few friends who might have seen him, then, yes, we'll just drive around. I can't think what else to do."
Josh sat on the sofa listening to Adam asking his friends if they had seen Sam. He then remembered Sam's ramblings about going sailing. After a fruitless search for the keys to Sam's boat, Adam phoned the harbour master and told him to stall Sam and phone if he tried to take his boat out.
Josh looked out of the window as Adam drove down Main Street, stopping occasionally to check bars and hotels. They couldn't find him and no one had seen him. Josh thought back to what Toby had told him before he left. He continued to scan the people on the street while he wondered if this counted as being out of his depth.
Leo stood with his hands in his pockets watching Toby clearing his desk. "Josh'll phone us if there's a problem."
"Yeah," Toby threw a pile of paper into his briefcase.
"And he's not alone. Sam's friend will be with him."
"Yeah." Toby put on his coat.
"They'll be fine…Josh will figure out what to do once he's spoken to Sam."
"Yeah." Toby patted his pockets until he had located his keys.
"What train are you getting?"
"The 16:20." Both men smiled. Leo was secretly relieved that Toby had decided to follow Josh and Toby was more than relieved that Leo wasn't trying to talk him out of it.
Many people walked along the wharf bordering the row of boats in the harbour but nobody noticed the man sitting quietly on the deck of a boat. The sound of their footsteps and conversation passed him and in-between the only sound was the clinking of metal on the masts as they bobbed up and down. The man looked out at the horizon behind which the sun was setting. He was waiting. He took a long drink from the bottle, let it fall from his hand and watched it roll along the deck. A loud clink heralded the end of its journey as it came to rest alongside two other empty bottles. The man started whistling Ten Green Bottles, pausing to count the number of bottles remaining and then singing the next line, 'they'll be four green bottles hanging on the wall'. He continued to wait. He didn't know what he was waiting for but he knew he couldn't go on the way he was and whatever happened next would be an end to it, one way or another.
"I think we should stay here for a while and see if he turns up." Adam pulled into the drive of his house. He gripped the steering wheel and as he spoke he loosened his grip and slumped back in his seat. "I'll fix us something to eat and then we go out again."
Josh reluctantly nodded his agreement. "I'm just going to make a quick call." Adam left him in the car and went into the house.
Toby answered on the second ring. "What's going on?"
"He's not here…he had some sort of argument with Adam, walked out and hasn't been seen since."
"You lost him?" Toby bellowed and Josh could picture him swiping his hand across his forehead.
"I've…mislaid him. I'm at Adam's at the moment, he's making us something to eat and then we're going to start looking again."
"I'm right behind you Josh."
Josh was stunned by the sentiment. He knew Toby was just as worried as he was and it meant a lot to know that he had faith in him. "I'll do the best I can Toby and if I can't find-" Josh was interrupted by Toby's exasperated voice.
"No Josh, turn around- I'm, right, behind, you!"
Josh spun around to see Toby walking up the path towards the car and he jumped out to greet him.
"You have no faith in me whatsoever do you?"
"No." Toby clapped Josh on the back and started to walk up he drive. "Come on, introduce me to this friend of Sam's and then we'll figure out what we're going to do."
After the introductions, the three men sat and talked for a few moments before Adam went into the kitchen to make some sandwiches. It was decided that Toby would phone Leo and explain the situation. Josh sat back and tried to relax. He watched Toby pacing around the living room, as he talked. He was relieved Toby had turned up.
"Ron, has Leo filled you in?" Toby waved his hand at Josh who had stood up at the mention of Butterfield's name.
"I think they've done that…we can check…no we thought it was too early…that's a good point I hadn't thought of that…okay and thanks."
Josh stopped listening when Toby started speaking to Leo again and wandered into the kitchen to help Adam.
Josh looked at the large round of sandwiches Adam had prepared. "This looks great, thanks."
"No problem." Adam picked up the sandwiches and nodded his head towards the plates for Josh to bring.
Josh and Adam ate in silence as Toby told them what he had discussed with Leo. Ron had suggested phoning the hospitals and hotels. If Sam was still missing in a couple of hours, he was going to send a couple of agents down.
Adam decided that when they went out again they should split-up. Toby would stay at the house and make all of the phone calls suggested by Ron. Josh would be dropped off at the harbour while Adam checked places he knew Sam had been before. It was arranged that Adam would then collect Toby and they would meet up with Josh.
"If you start here you can do a circuit and by the time you're finished I'll be back. Sam's boat is in the far end of the East Basin."
Josh climbed out of the car and watched Adam drive off. As the headlights disappeared he started to walk along the wharf following the signs that would lead him to Sam's boat.
It was dark and there was a slight breeze. The harbour was almost deserted. Josh read the names of the boats as he walked along: Oracle, Shooting Star, Restless Peace, Maria. Josh continued to walk and scan the names until his eye caught the name he had been searching for, Hooleelia. He stopped and looked at the boat; there was no sign of life. He walked towards it and as he got closer, he could make out the shape of a figure sitting on the bow. Josh walked towards the boat until he was standing by it. The figure that he now recognised as Sam had not seen or heard him. He was sitting leaning over the rail at the front of the boat, his attention absorbed by the water slowly lapping against it.
"Sam!" there was no reply. "Sam!" Josh spoke more loudly but there was still no reply. He tried again. "Sam!"
"Shh!" Sam didn't turn around. "I'm trying to listen."
Josh walked closer to the boat. "To what?"
"Shh!" Josh stood still, unsure of what to do. He strained his ears. All he could hear was the water lapping against the boats and the masts chinking in the growing breeze.
Sam slowly stood up until he was peering over the rail. He turned around to look at Josh, losing his balance in the process. He swung back and grabbed hold of the rail again. "It's a bit rough." He started to laugh but the sound of it did nothing to diminish Josh's growing concern. Sam's laughter died as abruptly as it had begun.
Josh took a step towards the boat. "What were you listening to?"
"What?" Sam had no idea what Josh was talking about.
"Never mind." He took another step and started to climb onto the boat.
"Get off!" Josh froze at the venom in Sam's voice. "Just get off."
"Okay…okay…I'll just stand here." Josh backed away from the boat and held his hands up. "Just calm down…tell me what you want me to do."
"I'm not going back…you're not taking me back…if that's why you've come you've had a wasted trip." Sam slumped to the floor again but kept his hold on the rail.
"You phoned me, Sam. You asked me to come." Josh couldn't see Sam anymore and he bit his lip as he waited for his reply.
"I wanted you to come...I waited…I was listening to my breathing, it sounded wrong. Did you hear it?"
"Yes."
Sam suddenly jumped up. "Hey, did you ever find that stapler…oh hang on…it's in my desk…I think it's there…you should have just given it back to Toby…he wouldn't have minded...not that much…you could have just given it back and then you could have come…I wouldn't have been waiting so long."
As he had talked Sam had walked from side to side of the boat but now he stopped and for the first time looked at Josh directly. "You know I've been thinking...it's stupid I know…stupid…but…did you know…I mean when I was waiting did you know I was there?"
"What? Jesus, Sam, no. No! I came as soon as I realised…I've told you this." Josh's mind was racing. Sam's thoughts were jumping from the attack to the present and back again and Josh was finding it hard to keep up.
Sam nodded and mumbled something. He picked up one of the empty bottles and threw it into the air. Time seemed to freeze as Josh waited for the splash.
"You can go now, I want to stay here."
Josh walked around to the other side of the boat so that he could get a better view of him. "I'm not going anywhere."
Sam walked towards the edge of the boat and climbed over the rail. He stared at the boat tied up next to his. "Go away, Josh."
When Josh first saw the blurred movement he thought Sam had jumped into the water, it was only when he heard the thud that he realised he had jumped onto the boat next to his. "Go away!" He walked over to the other side of the boat. The deck was unfamiliar and he stumbled a few times. Josh stood, eyes wide open, not recognising his friend. He walked quickly to the other side of the boat.
"Hey, Sam, come on, this is-" Sam jumped again.
He landed awkwardly but straightened up and swung around the pole he was holding onto. "You know there was a battle here once," Sam walked slowly to the opposite side of the boat, "imaginatively called the Battle of Sag Harbor." Josh walked along the wharf trying to keep up with him. "The American raiders were retaliating for the attack by the British on Danbury. It was in May 1777 or April, April or May." Sam jumped again.
"Sam…please…come down off the boats."
Josh was trapped, he knew that every time he moved level with Sam he moved on to the next boat so he decided to stop moving and see if Sam stopped as well.
"In the middle of the night the Americans descended on the British, their plan was to reach Long Wharf and set fire to the boats in the harbour." Sam walked over to the side of the boat and leaned over.
"Sam, please talk to me…I won't make you do anything you don't want to but please come over here and talk to me."
"At Danbury the British struck hard, killing 20 and wounding 80 men. General Wooster led his men against the British in five days of running skirmishes. He died later…" Sam climbed on top of the rail, "…of his," he jumped and as he landed he finished his sentence, "wounds."
Josh gave up trying to stop Sam from moving and hurried up alongside him.
"Wooster wasn't the hero though," Sam swung himself over the side of boat and leaned over the water while holding onto the rail, "that was Elnathan Jennings who knew Sag Harbor like the back of his hand and led his men to the guard house, took ninety prisoners and set fire to twelve schooners." Sam had finished his story and stood in silence looking down into the water. Josh was so close to him, he debated reaching over and pulling him onto the wharf. As if Sam could read his thoughts, he shuffled further along the boat. He closed his eyes and muttered something.
"I can't hear you." Josh took a tentative step towards the boat.
Sam started at the sound of Josh's voice and nearly lost his balance. Josh raised his arms helplessly as Sam struggled to regain his footing.
"Right, that's it, Sam! You're getting off that boat now."
Sam slowly raised his head and looked at Josh. "Okay," he agreed and without taking his gaze off Josh jumped onto the next boat in the line.
Josh turned and walked away. He didn't think he could take much more of this. He stood with his back to Sam, one hand on his hip the other frantically running through his hair. He took three deep breaths before turning around again.
"Adam was bleeding." Sam spoke as if he had only just realised what he had done to his friend.
"It doesn't matter…he understands." Josh felt himself shaking and silently prayed that Adam and Toby would arrive soon. Sam held onto the rail behind him and occasionally leant forward over the water but made no move to jump.
"I keep seeing him." Josh didn't need to ask who Sam was talking about, the way he said 'him' through gritted teeth left no doubt he was talking about his attacker.
Josh realised that with everything that had happened he'd had no time to tell Sam the news. "They got him. He's taking a plea and there's not going to be a trial…they got him, Sam." Sam glanced briefly at Josh but showed no other reaction to the news.
"I can't…"
"Can't what?" Josh came as close to the boat as he dared.
"I can't live with this…this…THIS…I can't live with this." Sam shouted the words, frustrated at not being able to verbalise his feelings. "Tell me what happened that morning…you've never really told me…I want to know why you didn't…I want to know what happened."
Josh slowly walked closer to the boat, sat down and began to tell Sam what had happened at work the morning he was stabbed. Occasionally Sam stopped him to ask what time something had happened but mainly he just listened.
"It was when you didn't answer the pager that was when I knew something was wrong. And then I didn't stop, Sam, I swear to God, I didn't stop until I got to your place."
Sam was nodding slowly. "I know, when I'm feeling okay I know that's what happened…but other times…and more and more recently, I believed you didn't come because…I don't know why but in my head and in dreams you just left me waiting." Sam leaned back against the rail and slumped over as if he was suddenly too exhausted to hold himself up. "Bad dreams…and I can't separate them from reality anymore."
"It gets better…in time…it gets better, you have to believe that. I lost sight of my reality, remember?" Josh waited until Sam was looking at him, "Remember, Sam?" He nodded and Josh continued, "You get it back, but you have let go of the fear. You have to stop being afraid all of the time."
Sam suddenly turned his head away and Josh waited until his friend had gained control of his emotions. After a while he reached towards Sam. "Come on, let's go."
The two men stared at each other, Sam slumped against the rail and Josh with his hand held out, waiting for Sam to move towards him and take it.
Slowly Sam started to move along the outside of the boat. He held on tightly as he shuffled along the edge. He felt exhausted and had to concentrate on every movement. As he reached the end of the boat he had to remove one hand from the rail and turn to fully face Josh. He tried to reach the outstretched hand but was still too far away.
"You're nearly there, Sam, two more steps." Josh was amazed to see the difference between the fearless jumps Sam had taken when his mind was fogged with emotion and alcohol and the hesitant steps he took now that his body had succumbed to exhaustion.
Sam leant away from the boat and held out his hand to Josh. Their fingertips brushed and then Josh heard a gasp. Sam flipped backwards, away from his grasp. Josh heard his name but it wasn't shouted, it was forced out on a breath. The next sound was of a splash and then the swell of disturbed water against the boat and then silence.