The Silmarillion For Idiots
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Note: This is a very (and I mean, VERY) condensed version of the Silmarillion and in writing this, I am in no way disrespecting the great J.R.R. Tolkien..hopefully. *hides as people bring out the tomatoes*
Note2: This is a short chapter in the book, so I did not deliberately shorten it here. Therefore, the next chapter should come out quicker.
At the urging of reviewers, I have updated now. I apologize for the slowness. -_- I have been working on other stories and homework is hell by itself. ^^; Well, enjoy.
********************************************************
QUENTA SILMARILLION
The History of the Silmarils
+++++
Of Aulë and Yavanna
+++++
Aulë impatient.
Very impatient.
Decide make Dwarves.
Make in secret.
Because other Valar might not like it.
Ilúvatar definitely would not like it.
Aulë make in mountain the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves.
Reminds me of Snow White.
Ignore comment and move on.
Ilúvatar find out.
Ilúvatar not so very happy.
Aulë make big, long, pretty speech on why he made Dwarves.
Then cry as about to destroy Dwarves with hammer.
Ilúvatar sympathize (of course).
Let Aulë keep his Dwarves.
Aulë say "Yay!" and be happy.
Ilúvatar say Elves not like Dwarves and Dwarves not like Elves.
Aulë not really care as still is happy.
Dwarves end up being strong.
Really really strong.
And live very very long.
Wow. I just rhymed.
Finally, Aulë tell Yavanna about Dwarves.
Yavanna not so happy.
Because Dwaves could ruin pretty trees and pretty grass and pretty...yeah.
Yavanna talk to Manwë.
Ask if Children (all living things made by gods in general) will rule Middle-earth.
Manwë talk for a bit.
Can be summed up as "Duh".
Yavanna make long speech about importance of trees and grass and all earthy stuff.
Methinks Yavanna a bit obsessed.
Manwë listen to Yavanna.
Weird Vision and Song of Ilúvatar "unfolds" in him.
Then Manwë talks to Yavanna and completely changes subject...seemingly.
Yavanna somehow happy.
Talks about trees growing really high so Eagles can live in them.
Pretty Eagles.
Manwë say no.
Says Eagles will house in mountains.
Only Aulë's trees grow really high.
And there will be Shepherds of the Trees (aka Ents) to protect trees and earthy stuff.
Maybe they not change subject after all.
Yavanna talk to Aulë.
Basically say "Nyah nyah! Dwarves can live on Middle-earth, but if try destroy trees, Ents will smoosh them like jelly. Mwahahaha!"
Aulë blink and say "Ok..."
And continue on with his smith-work.
********************************************************
:D Like? No like? *points to review button below* You know you want to..
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Note: This is a very (and I mean, VERY) condensed version of the Silmarillion and in writing this, I am in no way disrespecting the great J.R.R. Tolkien..hopefully. *hides as people bring out the tomatoes*
Note2: This is a short chapter in the book, so I did not deliberately shorten it here. Therefore, the next chapter should come out quicker.
At the urging of reviewers, I have updated now. I apologize for the slowness. -_- I have been working on other stories and homework is hell by itself. ^^; Well, enjoy.
********************************************************
QUENTA SILMARILLION
The History of the Silmarils
+++++
Of Aulë and Yavanna
+++++
Aulë impatient.
Very impatient.
Decide make Dwarves.
Make in secret.
Because other Valar might not like it.
Ilúvatar definitely would not like it.
Aulë make in mountain the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves.
Reminds me of Snow White.
Ignore comment and move on.
Ilúvatar find out.
Ilúvatar not so very happy.
Aulë make big, long, pretty speech on why he made Dwarves.
Then cry as about to destroy Dwarves with hammer.
Ilúvatar sympathize (of course).
Let Aulë keep his Dwarves.
Aulë say "Yay!" and be happy.
Ilúvatar say Elves not like Dwarves and Dwarves not like Elves.
Aulë not really care as still is happy.
Dwarves end up being strong.
Really really strong.
And live very very long.
Wow. I just rhymed.
Finally, Aulë tell Yavanna about Dwarves.
Yavanna not so happy.
Because Dwaves could ruin pretty trees and pretty grass and pretty...yeah.
Yavanna talk to Manwë.
Ask if Children (all living things made by gods in general) will rule Middle-earth.
Manwë talk for a bit.
Can be summed up as "Duh".
Yavanna make long speech about importance of trees and grass and all earthy stuff.
Methinks Yavanna a bit obsessed.
Manwë listen to Yavanna.
Weird Vision and Song of Ilúvatar "unfolds" in him.
Then Manwë talks to Yavanna and completely changes subject...seemingly.
Yavanna somehow happy.
Talks about trees growing really high so Eagles can live in them.
Pretty Eagles.
Manwë say no.
Says Eagles will house in mountains.
Only Aulë's trees grow really high.
And there will be Shepherds of the Trees (aka Ents) to protect trees and earthy stuff.
Maybe they not change subject after all.
Yavanna talk to Aulë.
Basically say "Nyah nyah! Dwarves can live on Middle-earth, but if try destroy trees, Ents will smoosh them like jelly. Mwahahaha!"
Aulë blink and say "Ok..."
And continue on with his smith-work.
********************************************************
:D Like? No like? *points to review button below* You know you want to..