Wounded Chapter 1: Cutting Secrets, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

This came to me when I was in the shower…stupid Bakura muse has horrible timing…this is kind of dark and may be depressing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh…::cries::

Warning: Dark, possibly depressing and shounen-ai hints. Slight OOCness.

Wounded – Cutting Secrets

What would they say if they knew?

Would they even care?

These scars, they're getting longer, deeper and more frequent. I'm running out of room.

These dark lines mark almost every part of my pale skin that my hand can reach.

I don't even bother covering them up like I did at first.

No one notices them. Or at least no one questions them. Anymore.

When they had tried, I had shot them down with a glare and told them to mind their own fucking business.

So no one asks. I don't even think Ryou knows. Or if he knows, he doesn't say anything, which is perfectly fine with me.

I'd rather he not know.

Why the hell am I doing this? I'm actually writing in this journal thing that Ryou got me…

Ra…I've turned into a sissy or at least I'm getting soft. Not good! It's all Ryou's fault! Ooh…I have to pay him back for turning me soft!

Ok, so I'm avoiding the real question. Why am I cutting? Because it causes pain and I like pain.

Someone else's preferably, but ever since I've quit beating Ryou, there hasn't been anyone that I could cause pain to without getting into trouble.

Psh. I told you I was getting soft.

And because it reminds me of him. Yes. Him. I refuse to write his name. I simply refuse to.

The crimson liquid that flows from the wounds reminds me of him. Those vibrant pools of blood red.

You can drown in them…I should know, I have.

But I don't often get the chance to because he's my enemy… He's NOT my friend.

We hate each other. H-A-T-E, hate each other. Get it? Good, don't you be getting any ideas!

It's his fault that I'm doing this. All these cuts on my skin, their darkness contrasting against the paleness of my body, they're all because of him.

He aggravates me and makes me feel this strange feeling that I don't like!

Damn that high and mighty Pha-bastard.

I told you, I am not writing his name!

He thinks he's so damn good and that I'm just a worthless Tomb Robber.

Hah! I'll show him. That heartless asshole!

Wait just a minute…I sound like I want him to care…NO! I don't! That came out wrong!

I mean, I think he needs be brought down a good few notches. That would teach him.

Short fern head freak.

Gr…damn…I forgot that this actually hurts.

Interesting…this razor is making three cuts across my skin rather than one…very interesting…I think I'll just use this from now on.

Hm…such a bittersweet taste, blood…I wonder what his tastes like…I would like to hear him scream my name in pain and- never mind.

I'm pushing the razor harder against the skin and dragging it firmly across.

Oh…some skin came off…this is rather motivating. More pain…this way there is more pain and more blood. Good.

I'm watching fascinated as the blood pours from the wounds…shoot…it just stained this…oh, whatever that doesn't matter.

I can't believe I'm still writing.

Yum…I really do enjoy the taste of blood…the liquor of life. The fluid of pain.

It's so addictive…hmm…

This will leave another scar. Perfect. Another reminder of the pain he's caused me.

Damn him! Grr…well at least you can't talk.

I don't need the world thinking that I'm some kind of wuss.

They don't need to know I feel pain too.

Bah…as if they would give a shit. They leave me alone and I leave them alone.

They have their image of me and I'd like to keep it that way.

In their eyes, I'm the big bad, sadistic, cold, evil Tomb Robber who doesn't give a shit about anyone else but himself and power.

I DON'T!

I like that image they have. It keeps them scared. Muahahahahaha…. That way they leave me the hell alone.

I don't need stupid idiots messing in my life.

And I definitely don't need him rubbing in if he ever found out. And he never will! ::glares:: That's a threat in case you hadn't noticed.

The world doesn't care about me, he doesn't care about me, no one does…although Ryou might.

That means nothing to me. I could care less what they think. Screw them all, they don't mean a thing to me.

All I need is my knife or this razor that I've now taken a liking. It's all I need, all I want.

Great…this should make another nice scar to add to my various other ones.

Shit, I actually wrote this much already? Geez…I hate to admit it, but this is actually relaxing…

Huh? What's this? Where's the water coming from, why is this page getting stained by water and not just blood?

Shit, shit, SHIT! No, no, NO! I am not! I am not…I can't be…but…I am…I'm actually…crying…

RA DAMN IT! It's his fault. All his fault. That I have these…these…emotions! It's not fair! I was better off cold…it hurt so much less…

Ok, I'm going to stop writing. This is beginning to sound too sentimental.

Thank Ra, you are a stupid notebook and nobody will ever read this. Nobody better touch this. Or ELSE.

I'm going to put you away and clean up this blood. Ryou's going to be back soon. I don't need him to get suspicious if he doesn't know.

Will these tears STOP ALREADY?!

Damn him!

Damn the world!

Just leave me the fuck alone!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, how was that?

LOL…who was it? I'm sure you guys already know ^_^.

Kinda strange…I know. I have an idea for the next part. But I'm not sure I'm going to continue this.

Tell me what you think and if I should continue!

Review please!