Chapter Four: Realization & K.O.
By Kurohi Tatsaki
Disclaimer: I do not own Wild Arms 3, and I haven't beaten the game yet! It's a cool game, though! I wouldn't be writing a fic about it if I didn't think that!
"speaking", (thinking), ~(present thoughts in a flashback)~
*************************************
"Something is up between you and Jet, huh?"
The night was clear and crisp. The cold bothered me greatly, but I let nothing show. Why show something unimportant?
I nodded once. "...Yes," I replied, as if agreeing to my own execution. "We've barely even met, and yet I feel a strange pull toward him... I don't understand it very well, as I am foreign to the feeling."
"You don't know what you're feeling? How is this so? I know what I feel quite well, and I trust you."
I laid back on the cold ground, a small shiver travelling up my spine. The twin scarves I had borrowed cushioned my head in a sea of smells that I could only identify as a part of Jet. "I have received word by my [[Third Soul]] that everyone I care about still live, but I don't think for very long... That's why I am trying not to become attached to any of you... but I can't help it..."
"You have another soul in your body?"
I nodded a little, blue eyes reflecting the light of the stars. "Yes. My mind is rather crowded, so sometimes I even question my own identity... Was I anyone else before it? Did I act like I do now, then?" I shook my head. "And, I'm sorry for opening fire back in Serpent's Coils... I didn't want to... I had no other choice... I don't want to kill you... My thoughts were never malicious of you guys... Only Janus," I spat out his name and rubbed mud and grime and filth all over it eagerly.
"So, what do you think about Jet, and what's with all this '-chan' nonsense?"
I sighed. "... '-chan' is a suffix used to show affection from the speaker to the one it is directed to... For instance, Jet-chan; I have at the very least, affectionate feelings for Jet..." I sighed his name with hidden lust. "I probably shouldn't feel like this... After all, I AM a guy..."
"Well, maybe he likes you more than you think," she suggested, settling herself on the cooling ground further. "Besides, love has no bounds."
Sighing, I sat up, and clasped my hands in my lap, contemplating just a little. "...I know, but if he doesn't?"
"Then, if you tell him, he'll know, at least. Who knows? Love takes many different turns. Maybe, just maybe, it'll go into your favor."
"You are not disgusted by my... sexual preferences?"
"No... not really. Kinda cute to see two sexy guys in a relationship."
"N...n-nani...?!" I stuttered. "You... think I'm...?" I pointed to myself, a blush on my face.
She nodded. "Yes. Very. Even with those clothes on."
I had the decency to blush further. "Does Jet-chan seem to think so...?"
"I don't know. He's not a very open person..." I bent forward as my shoulders visibly sagged. "...What do you think I should do, Virginia?" "Give him hints."
"......Unintentionally, I've been giving him some... such as the look in my eyes... I can easily change that..."
"Something more than that. Most boys are so thick-skulled. How about this? I'll talk to Jet about you, and I'll see what I can find."
I hugged her as a brother would a sister, like how I used to do for Seishin. "Arigatou, Virginia...!" I then yawned as I removed myself from her almost petite frame. "I'm going to bed. Oyasuminasai... Oh, I almost forgot... [1]"
"What?"
"And tell him," I mumbled a few words into her ear. "And if he asks, you may say I said that."
She nodded, and I went my way to go to sleep in the nightmarish world my subconscious creates.
******
"Jet, I need to speak with you."
I yawned. "At such a late hour? Shouldn't you be cuddling with Kurohi?"
I had seen the two hugging, and then I had gone back to my sleeping- bag.
"WHAT?!" she yelled, then hushed herself. "I do not love Kurohi. And, speaking of him, that's who I need to talk to you about."
"Why? So you can learn the best ways to fuck him?" I muttered, turning away from her. The liar... "No! Because..." she trails. She seems uncomfortable.
Now, I am curious. Sitting up, I close my eyes to her, and wait for her to finish her sentence.
"...he doesn't like-like girls, which leaves me out of the picture. The one he like-likes, though he barely even knows, is with us right now."
I open my eyes, now large by disbelief. "Gallows...?!"
She slaps me across the cheek. The sharp contact burns my face. I clasp one hand to the injury. "Heck no! He never talks about him! And besides, Gallows only likes women even less a way Kurohi likes this other boy!"
"Tell me, o' gracious leader," I say sarcastically. "who does he like, then, so that I can go to bed?"
Her eyes soften as she looks at me. "He doesn't fully understand what he is feeling right now. He is trapped in a daze unlike what he is used to. The one he likes sits before me, with a cold exterior with a possibly warm interior." She paused. "He told me to say to this one, 'He is my light that helps me through the darkness my soul creates...
"He does not know what I am after, and I am willing to say what that is, if it will give me what I hope to obtain. He behaves like I would not like to be like, myself, but being who he is draws me like moths to flame.
"I hope he understands what he means to me; I hope he will return my feelings. If he does not, of my three souls, one will shatter, and, after a few years, repair itself again, even more feeble than before...
"So, koi, I'll follow you forever, whenever you choose to see me, I'll show myself to you... I'll give myself to you.
"So, choose what you will do about this at your own pace... I'm certain you'll find the answer at some point in time or another.
"This is where I leave you; seek out your answer, and come tell me... I will be waiting... for all eternity."
"And... who said this?"
She looks at me uncertainly. "...Kurohi......"
"WHAT?!" I stood up quickly. I needed air. I ran from the campsite, and bumped into someone. I stumbled back a step or two, but my victim wasn't so lucky. It collapsed to one side before shaking its head and looking up at me with deep blue eyes.
Blue... eyes?
"Watch where you're goin' Kuro..." I trailed. Somehow, I couldn't finish my sentence the moment I saw those eyes.
"No harm done, Jet," he says, rising to his feet and dusting himself off. "I was just out here to think. I couldn't sleep any, so I thought I might as well do something partially constructive..."
"I don't care what you thought. I just needed some air."
He looks at me with a soft expression of gentle innocence. "Whatever for?"
'He is my light that helps me through the darkness my soul creates...'
"None of your business!" I snap.
He smiles albeit a little sadly. "As you insist. I won't prod if you're not comfortable saying why."
'He does not know what I am after, and I am willing to say what that is, if it will give me what I hope to obtain. He behaves like I would not like to be like, myself, but being who he is draws me like moths to flame.'
I was silent. He speaks once more. "But... I'm willing to listen when... if you speak."
'I hope he understands what he means to me; I hope he will return my feelings.'
"Hmph." I stiffen as his warm hand touches my shoulder. I look at him with near disdain; my sight travels upward and meets almost watery blue eyes. Looking away, I force myself not to look at those sad eyes.
'If he does not, of my three souls, one will shatter, and, after a few years, repair itself again, even more feeble than before...'
"I..." he begins, trying desperately to stare into my eyes. "was always taught... that... if you hope... if you wish really, really hard... wishes and beliefs come true... but... I'm having doubts... The only certain thing about the future is uncertainty... and... I'm not sure I want to find out..."
'So, koi, I'll follow you forever, whenever you choose to see me, I'll show myself to you...'
"Then ignore it."
"Closing my eyes to the world won't make it all go away... but sometimes I wish that were possible."
'I'll give myself to you. So, choose what you will do about this at your own pace... I'm certain you'll find the answer at some point in time or another.'
"......"
"So... what do you plan on doing in life?"
'This is where I leave you; seek out your answer, and come tell me...'
"......"
"Well," he murmurs, taking my silence for "I don't know yet". "When you're sure, I'll wait for you answer."
'I will be waiting... for all eternity.'
"...Kurohi?" I finally ask, turning and locking my gaze with his.
"Yes?" he asks slowly. His face is very close to mine, and I can feel his soft, uneven breaths on my neck... gentle and ardent. His eyes gleam with suppressed emotions. A few of them, namely lust, flicker through them quickly.
Feeling very fearful all of a sudden, I shove him away. His head collides into a large rock so hard, the rock cracks. He does not move. His eyes are closed. I slowly step up to him and check his vital signs.
He's still breathing, but raggedly... but he's not bleeding.
That's a good sign, right?
He groans and pries open an eye. It locks with mine and the pupil narrows until it is a mere slit in the overly large iris. "Y...you hurt me..." He sounds devastated, but it is masked a little with indifference. He tries to rise but then clutches his head, letting out a weak cry of pain. "My... head... hurts... owww......" He blinks rapidly; his pupils dilate and contract over and over again.
"Kurohi! Stay awake!"
He laughs. "...Stay awake? Haha... heh heh..." he shakes his head again and winces. "...Hurts..." His eyes narrow slightly. "...Hurts so bad..." Pausing a long moment, he finally mutters, "...I think I'm gon..." His eyes close, and he loses consciousness.
For once, I NEARLY panic. Keyword: nearly.
******
I can't see... There's only the darkness...
But something... Someone... I see an image of...
However, the image seems... male......
A name finds its way to my mind's lips, but it has no sound... no meaning... but a solitary syllable...
...
Silver hair... rounded, purple eyes...
...
"~......been asleep for months......~"
"~...say he'll never wake...~"
"~...can't NOT wake!! ......too tough for that...~"
WHO'S THERE?!
"...U...ugh..."
My throat feels so dry... Hurts to speak...
"~...Waking up?! ...~"
"Kurohi! Wake up!"
"Hey!!"
Slowly, I pry my eyes open. My eyes ache. The light floods them, so overpowering. I have to close them a little before allowing more light inside. There are three people... One female... two males...... I sit up slowly, the covers sliding down my weak form to pool at my waist. I blink once. Twice. A third time. I look slowly from one person to the other. The one from my dreams is not here. Was he simply an illusion...? And why would I dream of a male? Blinking slowly one last time, I ask, "Who are you all? And why are you here?"
And...
Who am I?
*************************************
KT: "Waaaaai! Cliffie! My character forgets his identity! And it's Jet's fault!!"
Jet: "Hey!! She paid me to do it!"
KT: "Nanananah! I have no money!"
Jet: "Then I'll get the gella from your next paycheck!"
KT: "I don't have any gella!"
Jet: "Plan B: Take gella by force! *begins to chase KT around the house with his ARM*"
KT: *runs away* "Waaaaaaaa~!! R&R but please don't hurt me!"
[1] "Oyasuminasai" is Japanese for "Good night"
By Kurohi Tatsaki
Disclaimer: I do not own Wild Arms 3, and I haven't beaten the game yet! It's a cool game, though! I wouldn't be writing a fic about it if I didn't think that!
"speaking", (thinking), ~(present thoughts in a flashback)~
*************************************
"Something is up between you and Jet, huh?"
The night was clear and crisp. The cold bothered me greatly, but I let nothing show. Why show something unimportant?
I nodded once. "...Yes," I replied, as if agreeing to my own execution. "We've barely even met, and yet I feel a strange pull toward him... I don't understand it very well, as I am foreign to the feeling."
"You don't know what you're feeling? How is this so? I know what I feel quite well, and I trust you."
I laid back on the cold ground, a small shiver travelling up my spine. The twin scarves I had borrowed cushioned my head in a sea of smells that I could only identify as a part of Jet. "I have received word by my [[Third Soul]] that everyone I care about still live, but I don't think for very long... That's why I am trying not to become attached to any of you... but I can't help it..."
"You have another soul in your body?"
I nodded a little, blue eyes reflecting the light of the stars. "Yes. My mind is rather crowded, so sometimes I even question my own identity... Was I anyone else before it? Did I act like I do now, then?" I shook my head. "And, I'm sorry for opening fire back in Serpent's Coils... I didn't want to... I had no other choice... I don't want to kill you... My thoughts were never malicious of you guys... Only Janus," I spat out his name and rubbed mud and grime and filth all over it eagerly.
"So, what do you think about Jet, and what's with all this '-chan' nonsense?"
I sighed. "... '-chan' is a suffix used to show affection from the speaker to the one it is directed to... For instance, Jet-chan; I have at the very least, affectionate feelings for Jet..." I sighed his name with hidden lust. "I probably shouldn't feel like this... After all, I AM a guy..."
"Well, maybe he likes you more than you think," she suggested, settling herself on the cooling ground further. "Besides, love has no bounds."
Sighing, I sat up, and clasped my hands in my lap, contemplating just a little. "...I know, but if he doesn't?"
"Then, if you tell him, he'll know, at least. Who knows? Love takes many different turns. Maybe, just maybe, it'll go into your favor."
"You are not disgusted by my... sexual preferences?"
"No... not really. Kinda cute to see two sexy guys in a relationship."
"N...n-nani...?!" I stuttered. "You... think I'm...?" I pointed to myself, a blush on my face.
She nodded. "Yes. Very. Even with those clothes on."
I had the decency to blush further. "Does Jet-chan seem to think so...?"
"I don't know. He's not a very open person..." I bent forward as my shoulders visibly sagged. "...What do you think I should do, Virginia?" "Give him hints."
"......Unintentionally, I've been giving him some... such as the look in my eyes... I can easily change that..."
"Something more than that. Most boys are so thick-skulled. How about this? I'll talk to Jet about you, and I'll see what I can find."
I hugged her as a brother would a sister, like how I used to do for Seishin. "Arigatou, Virginia...!" I then yawned as I removed myself from her almost petite frame. "I'm going to bed. Oyasuminasai... Oh, I almost forgot... [1]"
"What?"
"And tell him," I mumbled a few words into her ear. "And if he asks, you may say I said that."
She nodded, and I went my way to go to sleep in the nightmarish world my subconscious creates.
******
"Jet, I need to speak with you."
I yawned. "At such a late hour? Shouldn't you be cuddling with Kurohi?"
I had seen the two hugging, and then I had gone back to my sleeping- bag.
"WHAT?!" she yelled, then hushed herself. "I do not love Kurohi. And, speaking of him, that's who I need to talk to you about."
"Why? So you can learn the best ways to fuck him?" I muttered, turning away from her. The liar... "No! Because..." she trails. She seems uncomfortable.
Now, I am curious. Sitting up, I close my eyes to her, and wait for her to finish her sentence.
"...he doesn't like-like girls, which leaves me out of the picture. The one he like-likes, though he barely even knows, is with us right now."
I open my eyes, now large by disbelief. "Gallows...?!"
She slaps me across the cheek. The sharp contact burns my face. I clasp one hand to the injury. "Heck no! He never talks about him! And besides, Gallows only likes women even less a way Kurohi likes this other boy!"
"Tell me, o' gracious leader," I say sarcastically. "who does he like, then, so that I can go to bed?"
Her eyes soften as she looks at me. "He doesn't fully understand what he is feeling right now. He is trapped in a daze unlike what he is used to. The one he likes sits before me, with a cold exterior with a possibly warm interior." She paused. "He told me to say to this one, 'He is my light that helps me through the darkness my soul creates...
"He does not know what I am after, and I am willing to say what that is, if it will give me what I hope to obtain. He behaves like I would not like to be like, myself, but being who he is draws me like moths to flame.
"I hope he understands what he means to me; I hope he will return my feelings. If he does not, of my three souls, one will shatter, and, after a few years, repair itself again, even more feeble than before...
"So, koi, I'll follow you forever, whenever you choose to see me, I'll show myself to you... I'll give myself to you.
"So, choose what you will do about this at your own pace... I'm certain you'll find the answer at some point in time or another.
"This is where I leave you; seek out your answer, and come tell me... I will be waiting... for all eternity."
"And... who said this?"
She looks at me uncertainly. "...Kurohi......"
"WHAT?!" I stood up quickly. I needed air. I ran from the campsite, and bumped into someone. I stumbled back a step or two, but my victim wasn't so lucky. It collapsed to one side before shaking its head and looking up at me with deep blue eyes.
Blue... eyes?
"Watch where you're goin' Kuro..." I trailed. Somehow, I couldn't finish my sentence the moment I saw those eyes.
"No harm done, Jet," he says, rising to his feet and dusting himself off. "I was just out here to think. I couldn't sleep any, so I thought I might as well do something partially constructive..."
"I don't care what you thought. I just needed some air."
He looks at me with a soft expression of gentle innocence. "Whatever for?"
'He is my light that helps me through the darkness my soul creates...'
"None of your business!" I snap.
He smiles albeit a little sadly. "As you insist. I won't prod if you're not comfortable saying why."
'He does not know what I am after, and I am willing to say what that is, if it will give me what I hope to obtain. He behaves like I would not like to be like, myself, but being who he is draws me like moths to flame.'
I was silent. He speaks once more. "But... I'm willing to listen when... if you speak."
'I hope he understands what he means to me; I hope he will return my feelings.'
"Hmph." I stiffen as his warm hand touches my shoulder. I look at him with near disdain; my sight travels upward and meets almost watery blue eyes. Looking away, I force myself not to look at those sad eyes.
'If he does not, of my three souls, one will shatter, and, after a few years, repair itself again, even more feeble than before...'
"I..." he begins, trying desperately to stare into my eyes. "was always taught... that... if you hope... if you wish really, really hard... wishes and beliefs come true... but... I'm having doubts... The only certain thing about the future is uncertainty... and... I'm not sure I want to find out..."
'So, koi, I'll follow you forever, whenever you choose to see me, I'll show myself to you...'
"Then ignore it."
"Closing my eyes to the world won't make it all go away... but sometimes I wish that were possible."
'I'll give myself to you. So, choose what you will do about this at your own pace... I'm certain you'll find the answer at some point in time or another.'
"......"
"So... what do you plan on doing in life?"
'This is where I leave you; seek out your answer, and come tell me...'
"......"
"Well," he murmurs, taking my silence for "I don't know yet". "When you're sure, I'll wait for you answer."
'I will be waiting... for all eternity.'
"...Kurohi?" I finally ask, turning and locking my gaze with his.
"Yes?" he asks slowly. His face is very close to mine, and I can feel his soft, uneven breaths on my neck... gentle and ardent. His eyes gleam with suppressed emotions. A few of them, namely lust, flicker through them quickly.
Feeling very fearful all of a sudden, I shove him away. His head collides into a large rock so hard, the rock cracks. He does not move. His eyes are closed. I slowly step up to him and check his vital signs.
He's still breathing, but raggedly... but he's not bleeding.
That's a good sign, right?
He groans and pries open an eye. It locks with mine and the pupil narrows until it is a mere slit in the overly large iris. "Y...you hurt me..." He sounds devastated, but it is masked a little with indifference. He tries to rise but then clutches his head, letting out a weak cry of pain. "My... head... hurts... owww......" He blinks rapidly; his pupils dilate and contract over and over again.
"Kurohi! Stay awake!"
He laughs. "...Stay awake? Haha... heh heh..." he shakes his head again and winces. "...Hurts..." His eyes narrow slightly. "...Hurts so bad..." Pausing a long moment, he finally mutters, "...I think I'm gon..." His eyes close, and he loses consciousness.
For once, I NEARLY panic. Keyword: nearly.
******
I can't see... There's only the darkness...
But something... Someone... I see an image of...
However, the image seems... male......
A name finds its way to my mind's lips, but it has no sound... no meaning... but a solitary syllable...
...
Silver hair... rounded, purple eyes...
...
"~......been asleep for months......~"
"~...say he'll never wake...~"
"~...can't NOT wake!! ......too tough for that...~"
WHO'S THERE?!
"...U...ugh..."
My throat feels so dry... Hurts to speak...
"~...Waking up?! ...~"
"Kurohi! Wake up!"
"Hey!!"
Slowly, I pry my eyes open. My eyes ache. The light floods them, so overpowering. I have to close them a little before allowing more light inside. There are three people... One female... two males...... I sit up slowly, the covers sliding down my weak form to pool at my waist. I blink once. Twice. A third time. I look slowly from one person to the other. The one from my dreams is not here. Was he simply an illusion...? And why would I dream of a male? Blinking slowly one last time, I ask, "Who are you all? And why are you here?"
And...
Who am I?
*************************************
KT: "Waaaaai! Cliffie! My character forgets his identity! And it's Jet's fault!!"
Jet: "Hey!! She paid me to do it!"
KT: "Nanananah! I have no money!"
Jet: "Then I'll get the gella from your next paycheck!"
KT: "I don't have any gella!"
Jet: "Plan B: Take gella by force! *begins to chase KT around the house with his ARM*"
KT: *runs away* "Waaaaaaaa~!! R&R but please don't hurt me!"
[1] "Oyasuminasai" is Japanese for "Good night"