Part Seven: Will Xander Ever Get The Message?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: In the dialog of this chapter there is a not so hidden reference to a movie in which our favorite redhead gets to act very much out of her Willow character. See if you can catch it!
Xander wakes in a strange place. The first thing he does is cry. Looking at Buffy's face when he rejected her was the worst thing he ever had to witness. But, he had to do it, damn it!
Buffy is the most together and efficient person in the world but when it comes to her heart she doesn't always see the big picture. Xander loves Buffy. He has always loved Buffy but he also knows who she is. She is the slayer. She is the most important person in this whole brutal business. Her safety and welfare comes first.
Giles and Xander have this unwritten agreement. The only reason Giles trusts Xander with Buffy is because he knows Xander takes her vocation seriously. As angry and upset as Buffy gets when the two of them go into their "protect the slayer" routine, the watcher and the Boy Wonder will continue to make decisions to protect her first and foremost.
He knows Buffy gets very upset when he gets into this mode. It really tears him up to give her this much grief but he is determined that they are not going to love in the shadows. He wants to be able to scream their love on the mountaintop, declare it to all the nations, announce it everywhere.
Malcolm has to go!
Xander has a plan. It requires that the world think he and Buffy have split up. He only hopes Buffy remembers everything he said.
Buffy wakes in the cemetery. At first all she remembers is having been with Xander. She begins to smile but then the memory of the breakup hits her. She starts to sob. Willow is there. She runs to her.
"Buffy, what's the matter?"
Buffy buries her head on Willow's shoulder. "Xander¼he¼"
"What did Xander do, Buffy?"
"He¼he¼dropped me for Rachel."
Willow can't believe it. "What?"
Buffy is still in tears. "She¼she saved his life. They¼fell in love, Willow."
"Buffy, I am so sorry."
Buffy's sadness is interrupted by the presence of evil. It is Mr. Harris and Spike.
Xander's father approaches Buffy in mock concern. "Whatever could have you so sad my dear. I thought you and my pathetic son were finally together?"
Spike answers. "It seems your son has been a very nasty boy. He dumped her!"
"You really have great luck with men, don't you?"
The vampire continues his sarcastic tirade. "I don't like the boy much but I must say this is a very delicious development. Anything to weaken the little slayer girl."
"Why don't I take my grief out on a member of the family."
Spike talks. "Your ex is worth his weight in blood right now. We'll deal with you later."
Mr. Harris has more to say as they slither back into the darkness. "You're such a little girl to have such grief. I love it! After we drink Xander's blood we'll bring you his body."
Spike adds. "Well, Mr. Harris that is such a nice gesture."
They leave. Buffy turns to Willow.
"Only in Hellmouth does the whole world and underworld know your business almost before it even happens to you."
"You can't even grieve in peace."
"Our time was so beautiful, Will. It was absolute magic but¼but then Xander¼he¼he looked right into my eyes¼he said¼he¼"
Willow is shocked. "He told you he didn't love you?"
"He said we were through." The slayer thinks back to something.
He never said he didn't love me.
I asked him but he never said he didn't love me. All he said was we were through.
Xander is going to try to take Malcolm out. He is hoping Buffy and he can team up to do it. They don't have much of an advantage against him but at least they can have the element of surprise. The whole world thinks Xander dumped the slayer. He hopes they continue to think that. At least until they get to the daemon. This might be their only chance.
With them not together, anymore, Xander is hoping no one will be tailing Buffy.
The boy sneaks into the woods around Sunnydale. He goes to a place he knows Willow and Oz frequent for one of their many make-out sessions. As he lies waiting for them he reflects on his friend, Willow Rosenberg.
He and the redhead have come a long way. Although they aren't nearly as close as they once were they still have a bond. Willow is Buffy's best friend, however. She is loyal as loyal can be. A part of him is afraid to face her. She will, of course, take Buffy's side on this. She will be very pissed off at him.
His waiting is rewarded. Willow and Oz stroll amorously into the woods. They take a seat on a near-by log. Xander has himself buried in the leaves and shrubs behind the log. He speaks to them.
"Willow, don't turn around. It's me, Xander."
"What the hell did you do to Buffy, Xander?"
"Please, Willow, just listen to me?"
"You wanted Buffy to love you, Xander, remember? That's all you ever wanted. Well, she does love you and all you ever do is torture her. You know, Xander, she is very vulnerable around you. Why do you have to hurt her like this?"
Oz tries to calm Willow down so Xander can deliver his message.
"Tell Buffy to walk through Grand Woods on her way to patrol tonight."
Oz responds. "We'll tell her, Xander. Hey bro, before you go, I took care of Kathleen's problem with help from Linda and Stacy."
"Thanks man, I owe you one."
"It was free. We'll tell Buffy."
Willow and Oz walk toward Buffy's house. The redhead is very upset. Oz questions her.
"What's the matter, honey?"
"You did it anyway, didn't you?"
Oz didn't tell Willow that he went up to help the three witches. He blew it!
"Willow, I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. It's business, part of the stupid "big picture" you and hard Xander care about."
"Willow, I try never to do anything to get you upset but it's not fair for you to take this hard line with me. You face danger all the time. I don't like it but I know it has to be done. I'm not trying to be a hero, Willow, I'm just trying to do my part for Buffy and for the cause."
Willow softens. "Oz, I cannot lose you. It's so hard for me to keep my head above water. I wasn't made for this stuff, Oz. It scares me half to death most of the time."
They embrace. "Willow, I will be very, very careful. I¼just¼I just need to feel I'm doing my part. You and Buffy are really hard on Xander but all he is doing is trying to help, too. It was Buffy's fault all this stuff started happening to him."
"Why, because she fell in love with him? That's not fair, Oz."
"Okay, honey, I don't want to fight with you."
"I can't do what Buffy and Xander do, Oz. I can't have big fights with you all the time. I don't want that kind of relationship."
"Either do I, Willow." They embrace for a long time. When they break they enjoy a very passionate make-up kiss.
"This is what we do best, Oz."
"You are such a wise woman, my red-headed beautiful genius."
"Are you trying to get me to sleep with you or something, Oz?"
"Not a bad idea. I'm glad you thought of it."
"She goes in front of the wolf, grabbing him gently by the shoulders.
"What's my name, BI¼?"
They laugh and flirt and coo over each other as they go to Buffy's house.
The slayer is devastated. She lies on her bed after school. This was a different feeling then when she thought Xander was dead. This is worse. He's alive but isn't hers.
Two things rattle through her mind. At one point during their two days together Xander told her that even if something happened which she didn't understand he still loved her. The other thing is that he didn't say it. He didn't say he didn't love her.
Buffy is strong and confident and efficient as the slayer. She is probably the best slayer, ever. But, she is also a young woman, a very sensitive and loving young woman.
Her heart is open and bare in front of Xander. She has never been as vulnerable with anyone else, not even Angel. The Boy Wonder has impressed himself into her soul at a depth that overwhelms her at times.
Buffy just cannot help herself when it comes to Xander Lavelle Harris. He is that good. The slayer picks up her diary, remembering the fuss Xander made when she wouldn't let him read it.
Gees, a girl has to maintain just a little dignity. If Xander ever reads this!
Willow knocks on Buffy's door. The slayer lets her and Oz into her house.
"Okay, Buffy, we were in the woods. A mysterious voice asked us to tell you to walk through Grand woods on your way to patrol tonight."
"Please tell me it was Xander?"
"It was Xander."
Buffy's heart flutters but then she gets angry. "He's crazy if he thinks I'm going to come running to him!"
"Buffy, don't be hard Buffy."
"I don't know what to expect, Will."
"Who would ever have thought that Xander would be even more mysterious than Angel?"
The slayer ponders that. "Yea, I don't know if this is one of those "protect the slayer princess" things or if he really is in love with Rachel? Either way I am majorly pissed. Xander needs a basic course on what it means to be in a deep relationship."
Willow cringes. "Are you guys going to have one of your mega-battles, Buffy?"
"I hope not, Willow, but, if I go to him and this isn't some kind of tearful reunion I don't know what I'm going to do."
Buffy walks through the woods. At one point she passes a big tree. A figure grabs her, pulling her into the brush. She struggles to get free.
"It's me, Buffy!"
"I know." She punches him. He falls down. She picks him up and punches him again. Then she kneels beside him on the ground.
"Those two punches cover either possibility, Rachel or, Buffy protection."
Xander looks at the slayer, moaning. "How about a third possibility?"
"It better be a good one. I have at least one punch left in me!"
"I don't know if Malcolm is still having you followed or not so we don't have much time. You said you wanted to do everything together. This is our chance. I want you to help me fight Malcolm. I had to have the world believe we weren't together anymore."
Buffy is looking at him with a very disgusted expression on her face. "The daemon world already knows."
The boy continues. "Nobody will suspect you helping me now."
"Xander, when you have someone's heart in your hands you have to be careful what you do with it."
The slayer starts to cry. Xander tries to comfort her. She stops him.
"Let me get this straight. You took a chance on breaking my heart so we could fight Malcolm together?"
"Buffy, how much can we be together if we have to dodge assassins all the time?"
"Xander, when we get a break from all this we are going to have a long conversation about our relationship. Apparently, you have no idea how much I really need you. I don't think you understand the extent of what I feel for you. You can't do things the way you do. It's¼it's too much. You have to take it easy with me."
"Xander, I know this is my world¼and, you got into it for me and, everything you do is for me. But¼"
The slayer stares at Xander. He doesn't understand and she knows it. Xander's ways are too scary, always on the edge, always dodging monsters. All this clandestine stuff gets to her. She would rather battle evil out in the open with Xander by her side even if they don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning. Neither he nor Giles get that.
"Buffy, honey, I counted on two things. I told you, even if something happened you didn't understand I still loved you. And, when you asked me directly if I still loved you I didn't answer. Now, tell me those things weren't uppermost in your mind, Buff?"
How well Xander knows her. "That was the only thing that stopped me from going off the deep end, Xander."
"Buffy, I am so sorry. Please, honey?" He goes to her. They embrace then launch into a very passionate kiss.
"Will you help, Buff? Don't answer too quickly, honey, we're going to be in deep shit all the way."
"It's a love thing, Xander. Remember, kick ass good, high stakes bad. Try to keep me from it!"
"We need people who wouldn't be suspect right now. I figure Giles and Cordelia."
"Cordelia?"
"It's a five person gig. Nobody would guess her."
"Xander, are we ever going to have any above ground time together?"
"I hope so, Buffy. I can't stand this either."
"I know you can't, Xander. I'm sorry I hit you, sweetie."
"I was beginning to think you were trying to rearrange my jaw, like maybe you didn't like the way I kiss anymore so you¼"
She doesn't let him finish. "Do you always have to talk so much?"
They embrace in another kiss.
"Now, we are through with the theatrics, right? No more "fooling Buffy for her own good" stuff."
"Okay. If Giles agrees we'll do it next week."
"And how many times will I see you in that week?"
"Buffy, we can't take the chance."
"You always have to be so damn practical. Do you know what deprivation can do to a person?"
"Buffy, I have to go." The Boy Wonder leaves.
Buffy sees Willow the next morning.
"So, what's the news on the Xander front?"
"He gets me so mad, Willow. He took a chance on breaking my heart so he and I could team up to go after Malcolm."
"Go after Malcolm. Oh Buffy, even Rebecca is scared of Malcolm."
"He thinks we can do it. That's why he staged our breakup. Nobody will suspect me if Xander dumped me."
"When did Xander get to be "big plan man"?"
"He wants me to ask Giles and Cordelia, too."
"How about me?"
"Everyone would expect you to help, Will. Our only chance is catch them off guard."
"Do you agree with our dear brother?"
"Don't ever tell him this, Willow, but I actually trust Xander. In addition to loving him and wanting him and needing him I also trust him with my life."
"Wow, Buffy, that's a lot!"
"I know, Will."
Buffy, I don't think I knew how much you really love Xander until now. Girl, he really and truly has you, doesn't he?"
"Every time I see him I fall in love with him all over again."
"That's almost scary, Buffy."
"Tell me about it! Willow, so much has been happening. You and I really didn't even get a chance to talk¼you know, about Xander and I getting together."
Willow gets nervous. Buffy notices. "I'm sorry I¼I knew you still¼"
"It's okay, Buffy, I have Oz."
"Willow, I know you. I know it hurt you. I want the truth, Willow Rosenberg. The whole truth!" Willow starts to tear up. "You know I've always loved Xander. I can't help it, Buffy. I¼I never thought you would¼you know¼actually love him. It hurts¼I mean when I see how deeply Xander loves you¼and how happy you make him. I¼I get jealous. But, I really and truly am happy with Oz. My feelings for Xander were never as strong as my feelings for Oz. It's just¼"
Buffy hugs Willow. Both are in tears. "I'm so sorry, Will. I didn't think I could ever love him, either. It just¼happened."
"Buffy, you deserve his love. And, he is in paradise. He still can't believe you love him."
"I don't know about that."
"You don't think he loves you?"
The slayer sighs. "I know he loves me, Will, but, he's¼so damn independent and his friends scare me."
"Rachel?"
"The way she looks at him. She doesn't even have the courtesy to be subtle about it. All of them, it's like they're just waiting for me to slip or make a mistake so they can jump right in."
"I know what you mean, Buffy, but, I have to say that he loves you and only you. It doesn't matter how many women are around. You are it for him. Believe me, I know."
"Thank you, Willow." They hug.
"How about you and Oz?"
"He went behind my back to help Xander's witch friends."
"That's harsh, Will!"
"I told him not to do it but he did it anyway!"
Buffy stares at the redhead, very surprised at her hard stance on this.
"Why are you staring at me, Buffy?"
"I didn't like them either, Will, but they are part of Xander's so called friends network."
"I know about taking care of business but do all his friends have to be so damn beautiful? And¼is Oz going to get all dangerous like Xander. Buffy, Oz is only a Werewolf. He doesn't have any healing power or anything."
"But, I'll bet he doesn't want to even hear about being careful, right?"
"They're two of a kind, Buffy."
"We are not going to put up with this all the time, Willow. As soon as things calm down, if they ever calm down, we are going to have a long talk with our lovers. They will change!"
"Tell me more about Xander's plan, Buffy."
"He figures it's a five person job."
"Who's the fifth person?"
"What?"
"It's you, Xander, Giles and Cordelia. Who is the other person?"
"It's probably one of his groupies."
They get to the Library. Buffy goes to Giles in his office.
"Giles, I saw Xander."
"Are you straightened out?"
"We¼ are but¼Xander wants¼to go after Malcolm."
"What? Out of the question, Buffy. It would be suicide. As good as you two are¼don't you listen to Rebecca?"
"Giles, it's the only way Xander will be able to come back to Sunnydale."
"Buffy, I don't want to shock you but your Xander has moved up a notch. What he is doing now is very much a part of what he is now but you can't¼"
The slayer interrupts him. "Giles you're my watcher. You're supposed to look out for me. I cannot function without Xander."
"Wait a minute, Buffy, let's just say¼by some unbelievable miracle we did manage to kill him. That's not the end of it you know. Xander's reputation is already much too big. Rebecca has been around a long, long time. Even she isn't as marked as Xander is now."
"Giles, you don't understand." Buffy starts to tear up. "I need him. I need him more than I ever needed Angel. He makes sense of my life, Giles."
"Buffy, I have never had a slayer as complicated as you."
"Giles, will you just listen to the plan?"
"Okay."
Buffy tells him the whole thing.
Giles would love to get Malcolm. He has a personal stake in it. When he was a young watcher in England Malcolm killed one of his slayers.
It took Giles years to get over it. He swore he would hunt Malcolm until he killed him but his watcher's duties always took precedence.
He has been doing research on "One of them". He thinks Xander might be able to regenerate his own life. Rebecca has that power but he wasn't sure if Xander shared this particular trait with his mentor. Obviously, Xander was thinking of this particular possibility when formulating his plan.
Giles is actually impressed with it. It is very simple and direct. He is quite impressed with Xander's ability to pull off a breakup between he and Buffy. This is information he will not share with the slayer, however.
"All I will tell you, Buffy, is that I will review it with Rebecca."
"Giles, I'm not a kid, anymore. If the slaying didn't make me grow up my relationship with Xander has. This is not a crush. This is not a kid clinging to her security blanket like with Angel. This is the real deal, Giles. We are soul mates, for life. Xander told me I was going to be the first slayer to see her twenty-first birthday. I believe him!"
"I get it, Buffy, I'm not completely insensitive to these things. I'll get back to you."
Giles tentatively approaches Rebecca. She is shocked!
"An open attack on Malcolm, Giles?"
"Well, not exactly an open attack. I'm sure you heard of Xander's break-up with Buffy."
"And, as soon as I heard about it I knew he had something up his sleeve. Giles, it is ridiculous. It's foolhardy. It is next to impossible. Your personal stake in this wouldn't be clouding your better judgement, would it, Rupert?"
"Buffy might be clouding my better judgement."
"They would both rather face death than have a future with only sporadic glimpses of one another." "James Dean, live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse!"
Rebecca looks at Giles wide-eyed. "Why, Giles, you surprise me."
"I haven't always been a stodgy librarian as a cover, you know."
"Yes, Rupert, I remember. I think we better hone your fighting skills, Cordelia's, also."
Giles is very surprised. He runs down the entire plan, as he knows it. Giles can read Rebecca's facial expression
"Then it has your blessing?"
"Rupert, I am not going to stand in the way of the new Romeo and Juliet. But, I will try to discourage them. Of course, knowing our Xander and Buffy and you the way I do, I don't think it will matter."
"Me, I'm merely an objective observer."
"Rupert, I can see that gleam in your eyes. It's okay; these young people are exciting. They think they can move mountains. If you don't mind I will talk to Buffy and the others. I will have a separate talk with Cordelia. If my guess is right she will be the prime slayer in this one."
"By all means talk to them, Becky. Don't hold anything back."
Go on to Part Eight
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