Goodnight Moon, a friends fanfic

Goodnight Moon

Here's me taking a stab at the current friends improc topic…a children's book title :) And I've been trying to work this out in my head all day, while also trying to write my english paper, so I finally decided screw the paper, I need to write this. So I started writing, and…here I am, lol. I loved the book Goodnight Moon when I was little, hehe. It was actually the first book I could read. And by that, I mean it was the first book that I had had read to me so many times that I memorized all of it. So anywho, I've been dying to write this since…last night, lol. So here we go…I don't own the characters or the title…though this has nothing to do with the actual book :)

Chandler sighed as he ran his hands down the sides of her body, letting her soft skin glide across his hands. This was it. This was everything. Tonight and only tonight. Tomorrow would come, and it would all be over. But tonight…Tonight, she was still his.

They both knew that tomorrow would come and everything would have to go back to normal. And they both knew that nothing about any of it made sense, but moonlight casts a different sense of reality on a situation than the harsh light of reality that rises with the sun.

So they still had tonight.

There was nothing that could convince Monica that this was right, nothing that could convince her that she wasn't wrong in doing this, in letting this happen. But with one look into his eyes, she no longer cared. And she hadn't thought of the consequences, of what had happened last time. She hadn't thought of what, of who she could lose this time. And she didn't care. She still needed him.

"Are we crazy?" Chandler finally asked, almost laughing, not believing what had just happened.

"Quite possibly," Monica laughed as well, rolling over so that she could face him.

"Well they said they didn't think that they should have left us alone together…"

"I think they meant it in the sense that we'd probably claw each other's eyes out more than…that this would happen…"

"Yeah, probably," Chandler laughed as he sat up. Monica sat up as well, clutching the sheet in front of her. "So why'd you really come back here?"

"To tell everyone in person that I'm getting married."

"If that were the reason you would've come months ago, Mon," he looked her in the eye, calling her lie, and she looked at him in shock, not knowing that he'd known.

Monica sighed. "It's just not that easy, Chandler."

"What's not that easy? Coming back? Or even just calling? Why does it always take months to do? Why is it always 'just not that easy?'"

"Look, I'm sorry, is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry things ended so badly between us, I'm sorry I left," she finally yelled.

Chandler sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Look, I don't want to fight anymore. I think we've done enough of that. I just…Why, Mon?"

Monica sighed, looking down. "Why'd I leave or why'd I come back?" she finally said quietly.

"Both…either…"

Monica looked at him. He looked different. Older, rougher, jaded…But not altogether older. It was in his eyes. She'd long ago learned to read him through his eyes, and she was relieved that she still had that ability. Monica looked down, picking at the edge of the sheet clutched in front of her body. If only either explanation were that easy. But it was like she kept telling him, both then and now. It's just not that easy.

"I left because I just…I couldn't fight with you anymore. It wasn't that I didn't still love you…I just, I couldn't take it anymore. The fighting. Hurting constantly. I couldn't get hurt anymore and I couldn't hurt you anymore."

"Thank god you side-stepped that landmine," Chandler quipped bitterly, and Monica sighed once again.

"Do you really think it would've been better if I'd stayed? Maybe we both got hurt, but it went away eventually. If I'd stayed it wouldn't have."

"Did it really?"

"Did it really what?"

"Go away?"

Monica sighed in frustration. "Well I've obviously moved on. I'm getting married. I-"

"That's not what I asked," he interrupted her. "I asked if the hurt went away." Monica was silent. "And how would it've been different if you'd stayed," he stated more than asked.

Monica continued her interest in the edge of the sheet, picking at a loose string. "Fine," she finally said. "Maybe I should've stayed. Maybe I was wrong in leaving. Maybe we could have worked it out. Maybe-"

"And maybe pigs could fly if they had wings, but we'll never know."

"I said I'm sorry, Chandler! I messed up and I'm sorry, but I can't undo the past!"

"I know!" Chandler yelled back. "I know," he repeated again, softer. "I just…" Chandler trailed off, shaking his head.

"I know, too," Monica said softly. "It just hurt too bad to stay," she looked him in the eye.

"I know, but I could've helped. You just had to talk to me, we could've got through it together…"

"I couldn't talk to you…"

"Didn't have trouble yelling, though."

"Right back at you," Monica retaliated.

"I'm sorry. It's just…why not? We used to be best friends, we used to talk about everything… Why couldn't you talk to me?"

"Because it just-"

"Isn't that easy. Yeah, Mon, I've heard that before."

"I couldn't talk to you because I blamed myself so I figured there was no way you didn't blame me, too, so you wouldn't want to hear it," Monica finally admitted, her words running together because of how fast she said it.

"Oh, Mon," Chandler said, his face immediately softening. "Why would you think that I blamed you?"

Monica shrugged, tears threatening as she tried hard to hold them back. "Because…I did."

Chandler studied her face for a second. "You did, or you still do?" When she didn't answer, but instead looked back down, he moved closed, cupping her face in his hands. "Monica, it was not your fault," he stated firmly, but Monica shook her head.

"But, if-"

"No but if's," he interrupted her. "It was not your fault."

"Then whose was it?" she looked at him, tears starting to fall down her face.

Chandler took a deep breath, not knowing what to say to the question that he'd contemplated himself so many times. "Some things just aren't meant to be," he finally said softly, wiping the tears from her face.

"Why not?"

"Mon…" Chandler started, but trailed off, not knowing what to say. He sighed, watching her, still playing with the edge of his sheet. "We lost our baby," he finally said, and Monica looked up. "It wasn't anyone's fault, not yours, not mine, and I've found that blaming God doesn't do much good, either. But it happened. And maybe we would've still been together if we hadn't, and maybe we wouldn't," he continued softly. "But what's done is done. What happened, happened. And I-I don't really blame you for anything. Not even for leaving. And as much as I hate to admit it…I think you're right. It probably was for the best…"

Monica wiped her eyes, smiling slightly. "And I can't help but think that you're right…that I should've stayed. That we could have worked everything out. That it didn't just have to end like that…"

"But it did."

"But it did," she repeated, looking him in the eye. Chandler finally gave in, kissing her again, and Monica kissed back at first, but pulled away after a few seconds, once again making eye contact.

"So that's why you left…Why'd you come back now?"

"I came back for closure," she finally whispered. "I'm getting married next month, and, I don't know, I just…I had to know if I was doing the right thing," she sighed. "I was still in love with you when I left, and I just…had to know if I still loved you…"

"And do you?"

Monica smiled. "A part of me is always going to love you, Chandler," she said softly, causing Chandler to smile as well.

"But…"

"But," she smiled at the fact that he knew there was more. "I'm just…"

"Doing the right thing by moving on," he finished for her, and Monica nodded.

"I just can't do the fighting again. For as long as you were my world, for as long and as much that I loved you…I still…can't."

"I know…me neither," Chandler smiled slightly before licking his lips.

"But I needed closure."

Chandler nodded. "Me, too," he whispered before kissing her again, and this time, Monica didn't pull away. "And part of me's always going to love you, too."

Monica smiled, his lips back on hers a second later as they lay back down, his hands roaming her body as she prayed that the sun would take its time coming up.

~*~

Chandler bent his head down and lightly kissed Monica's neck before looking up, out the window. The moon that had been high in the sky earlier that night was now beginning to fade as the sun began to peek over the horizon. He looked down at her, still sleeping peacefully.

Tomorrow was going to come all too soon.

And she was going to go home. She was going to get on a plane and leave again, and they were both going to go back to the lives they'd made after each other.

And that's it. I'm not planning on continuing, but please review, thanks :)