Chapter 6 - "And Life, A Fury Slinging Flame"
***
The world stopped for almost everyone.
"HERE!" Susan screamed. "NOW!"
Death appeared in front of her expectantly. WHAT DO YOU WANT? he asked calmly. AND DID YOU REALLY NEED TO SHOUT? IT ECHOES WHEN YOU DO THAT.
Susan's face was drawn and skeletal. "WHAT IS GOING ON?" she hissed, using the voice automatically.
WELL, YOU SEE, SOUND MOVES IN WAVES, AND WHEN IT ENTERS MY-
"NOT the echoes," she sighed, stuffing the voice back down her throat. "This!"
Death stared at her curled fist. YOUR FINGERS ARE RED. He glanced at her, a tad suspiciously. THIS ISN'T GOING TO BE A 'KISS IT MAKE IT BETTER' MOMENT, IS IT?
"Your wife is a big hippo!" Susan said. "No, no, no. It is NOT going to be a 'kiss it make it better' moment. My knuckles are red, as though I've punched someone in the jaw!"
THAT WASN'T VERY NICE. WHO DID YOU PUNCH?
"I didn't punch anybody! That's the point! It's like... someone else's problems are being routed through me! Just a second ago I felt as though someone kicked me in the stomach, and then my knee twitched. It's as though I... I... I..."
Death stared at her, grinning, although it wasn't as if he had a choice. He reached a hand out and plucked a Lifetimer absentmindedly out of the air, using his robe to hide it from her. HMMM, he said.
"What is it?" she said anxiously.
YOUR SAND IS FLOWING FASTER THAN IT SHOULD BE, BUT THE SAND IN THE TOP BULB IS GOING DOWN AT THE NORMAL RATE OF SPEED.
"That's scientifically impossible!"
WHO EVER SAID LIFE WAS A SCIENCE?
Susan glowered. "So someone's using my life, but I'm not actually losing anything?"
SO IT APPEARS. IT IS STRANGE, THOUGH...
"What?"
NORMALLY WHEN LIFE IS BORROWED, IT IS LENT OUT WILLINGLY. YOU, OBVIOUSLY, HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF GIVING ANYONE YOUR SECONDS.
"You make it sound as though life is a side of ham."
INTERESTING METAPHOR. I WILL HAVE TO LOOK INTO THAT. WHERE CAN A SIDE OF HAM BE LOCATED?
"Ham is not the issue! Could you keep your mind on the subject for FIVE MINUTES, please? Honestly, I might as well be teaching class. It couldn't possibly be the Auditors, could it? If they were controlling my life they'd have me run about killing everyone."
SOMEHOW I DOUBT THEY WOULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING SO IMAGINATIVE.
"Not them, then. Who?"
THE HAM?
"You're not helping."
I HAD NO IDEA ANYTHING WAS WRONG UNTIL YOU MENTIONED IT. HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
"You're Death! You're supposed to know everything!"
IS THAT A SILVER STAR IN YOUR HAND?
Susan looked down. It was, indeed, a silver star. She had gotten it out a while before as a motivational tool in an emergency. "Yes?" she said suspiciously.
MAY I HAVE IT?
"Why?"
IT'S... PRETTY. NICE AND SHINY.
Susan took a step backward. "What is WRONG with you? You've been getting distracted thoughout our entire conversation."
I... WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
"Life! Death! My knuckles! The sand! A side of ham, for some reason!"
AH... YES. I'M SORRY, IT MUST HAVE SLIPPED MY MIND.
Susan stared into her grandfather's black holes of eyes, with their blue pinpoints of light. They almost looked brown, but Susan know that couldn't be the case.
***
Illa sat sleeping in her chair, a skill that many school-aged children learn. She also dreamed a dream about death.
"What about Death?" Life asked inside her head, stroking her subconcious like a mother stroking her child's hair.
"Won't he notice?" Illa murmured sleepily. Life sat in her mind like a thick warm fog. "About my life, I mean."
"Of course, not, darling. I've made sure he won't notice."
"How did you do that?"
"Everyone has a life, darling, even Death. I just made so that whenever he thinks about it he thinks of something else. Quite easy, really, if you think about it."
"And Miss Susan? She just ran out. I felt you on her."
Life paused. "An experiment," She said, after a moment. "I wanted to make sure everything would work as I wanted it before I tried anything on you, dear. I couldn't bear to hurt you in any way."
"Oh," Illa said, and stopped being able to think.
***
The world stopped for almost everyone.
"HERE!" Susan screamed. "NOW!"
Death appeared in front of her expectantly. WHAT DO YOU WANT? he asked calmly. AND DID YOU REALLY NEED TO SHOUT? IT ECHOES WHEN YOU DO THAT.
Susan's face was drawn and skeletal. "WHAT IS GOING ON?" she hissed, using the voice automatically.
WELL, YOU SEE, SOUND MOVES IN WAVES, AND WHEN IT ENTERS MY-
"NOT the echoes," she sighed, stuffing the voice back down her throat. "This!"
Death stared at her curled fist. YOUR FINGERS ARE RED. He glanced at her, a tad suspiciously. THIS ISN'T GOING TO BE A 'KISS IT MAKE IT BETTER' MOMENT, IS IT?
"Your wife is a big hippo!" Susan said. "No, no, no. It is NOT going to be a 'kiss it make it better' moment. My knuckles are red, as though I've punched someone in the jaw!"
THAT WASN'T VERY NICE. WHO DID YOU PUNCH?
"I didn't punch anybody! That's the point! It's like... someone else's problems are being routed through me! Just a second ago I felt as though someone kicked me in the stomach, and then my knee twitched. It's as though I... I... I..."
Death stared at her, grinning, although it wasn't as if he had a choice. He reached a hand out and plucked a Lifetimer absentmindedly out of the air, using his robe to hide it from her. HMMM, he said.
"What is it?" she said anxiously.
YOUR SAND IS FLOWING FASTER THAN IT SHOULD BE, BUT THE SAND IN THE TOP BULB IS GOING DOWN AT THE NORMAL RATE OF SPEED.
"That's scientifically impossible!"
WHO EVER SAID LIFE WAS A SCIENCE?
Susan glowered. "So someone's using my life, but I'm not actually losing anything?"
SO IT APPEARS. IT IS STRANGE, THOUGH...
"What?"
NORMALLY WHEN LIFE IS BORROWED, IT IS LENT OUT WILLINGLY. YOU, OBVIOUSLY, HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF GIVING ANYONE YOUR SECONDS.
"You make it sound as though life is a side of ham."
INTERESTING METAPHOR. I WILL HAVE TO LOOK INTO THAT. WHERE CAN A SIDE OF HAM BE LOCATED?
"Ham is not the issue! Could you keep your mind on the subject for FIVE MINUTES, please? Honestly, I might as well be teaching class. It couldn't possibly be the Auditors, could it? If they were controlling my life they'd have me run about killing everyone."
SOMEHOW I DOUBT THEY WOULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING SO IMAGINATIVE.
"Not them, then. Who?"
THE HAM?
"You're not helping."
I HAD NO IDEA ANYTHING WAS WRONG UNTIL YOU MENTIONED IT. HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
"You're Death! You're supposed to know everything!"
IS THAT A SILVER STAR IN YOUR HAND?
Susan looked down. It was, indeed, a silver star. She had gotten it out a while before as a motivational tool in an emergency. "Yes?" she said suspiciously.
MAY I HAVE IT?
"Why?"
IT'S... PRETTY. NICE AND SHINY.
Susan took a step backward. "What is WRONG with you? You've been getting distracted thoughout our entire conversation."
I... WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
"Life! Death! My knuckles! The sand! A side of ham, for some reason!"
AH... YES. I'M SORRY, IT MUST HAVE SLIPPED MY MIND.
Susan stared into her grandfather's black holes of eyes, with their blue pinpoints of light. They almost looked brown, but Susan know that couldn't be the case.
***
Illa sat sleeping in her chair, a skill that many school-aged children learn. She also dreamed a dream about death.
"What about Death?" Life asked inside her head, stroking her subconcious like a mother stroking her child's hair.
"Won't he notice?" Illa murmured sleepily. Life sat in her mind like a thick warm fog. "About my life, I mean."
"Of course, not, darling. I've made sure he won't notice."
"How did you do that?"
"Everyone has a life, darling, even Death. I just made so that whenever he thinks about it he thinks of something else. Quite easy, really, if you think about it."
"And Miss Susan? She just ran out. I felt you on her."
Life paused. "An experiment," She said, after a moment. "I wanted to make sure everything would work as I wanted it before I tried anything on you, dear. I couldn't bear to hurt you in any way."
"Oh," Illa said, and stopped being able to think.