Part Nine--Graduate From Each Other
Buffy and Xander put their noses to the grindstone and prepare to graduate. The daemons co-operate as the time draws near. Xander is so far behind he has to spend half his time over Willow's house. If nothing else they renew their friendship. It is a struggle but Xander and Buffy manage to do very well on their exams. Snyder didn't think they had it in them but they did.
The Slayer has been distant and sullen for the last week. Xander is hoping it was because of exams. They are both over his house. Xander is standing in front of the full-length mirror in his room. Buffy is standing behind him studying his back.
"See, honey, this is what I'm talking about"
"What, Buff?"
"You still have scars all over your back and your stomach!"
"Yea, Buff, but they'll go away." He smiles at the slayer.
"Right, until new ones replace those!"
Xander turns around embracing the slayer. "It's okay, honey, my face is still pretty, right?"
She breaks from him. "It's not a joke, Xander."
"Okay, let's stop right here. What is this all about, Slayer?"
Buffy walks away. Xander follows her. "What, Buffy…what?"
"I can't talk to you about it" She walks away again.
Xander is getting upset.
"What's going on, Buffy?"
She shakes her head. Xander misses it.
"Honey, I know we haven't spent any time together lately."
"That's not it, Xander…forget it!"
"Fine, I'll see you in school."
"Whatever!" Buffy starts to leave but stops at the door. She sighs. She turns to look at Xander.
"Come here, honey."
Xander walks to her. "I'm sorry."
They embrace. When they break Buffy gives Xander a warm smile. Then she leaves.
She goes to Willow's house. The redhead can tell that Buffy is disturbed about something.
"Let's have it Buffy. What did our dear brother, Xander, do today?"
"He didn't do anything…he just…I don't know. I just can't take him getting all banged up all the time."
"Oh, Buffy."
"What, Will…you should see his body…well, maybe you can just take my word for it. He has scars upon scars. His whole back…"
She doesn't finish. Willow doesn't know what to say.
This is one of these things, which everybody knows but nobody talks about. They battle daemons for a living. They get beaten and battered. All the Scooby members do. If you concentrate on that you would never be able to do it.
Willow knows Xander gets bruised and scarred and battered all the time. She's not stupid. But that is his life choice or destiny or whatever you want to call it. She gets a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Buffy tries to continue the conversation.
"Willow, Xander has places on his back and legs where he has scars on top of scars. On some places his healing thing takes a long time. And it hurts him too, I can tell. He tries to hide it from me but it hurts him too bad."
Buffy starts to break down…"Every time he gets…Everytime he gets kicked and punched…Will, I can't…I can't do it anymore"
Willow has to comfort her. The Witch knows this is not going to turn out good. Xander is not going to stop putting his life on the line for Buffy. That's what he does. That's who he is.
That night the whole gang goes to the Bronze to celebrate the successful completion of their exams. Buffy is in a really bad mood. She gets there before Xander. Willow has not seen her like this since she and Xander have been together. The redhead knows there is going to be fire works. Buffy is like she use to be when she and Xander were trying to avoid their intense love for one another. Oz looks at the Slayer. That is enough to set her off.
"Oh, I guess Willow shared my little problem with you. Do you have something to say about it, Oz?"
The Wolf just continues to look at her.
"The calm and cool Oz…poor thing…has to put up with the slayer bitch again! Yea, I'm pissed off at him again, Wolf Boy. And as long as your dark side buddy isn't here how about if I take it out on you?"
Willow hates to do it but she has to get in between Buffy and her soul mate.
"Buffy, come on Oz has nothing to do with it."
The situation solves itself as Xander comes strolling up to the table.
"What's up guys?"
Xander steps in front of Buffy. "What's up honey?"
He goes to touch her but she backs away from it.
"Where the hell were you?"
"I just had to…"
She interrupts him.
"I know you had to throw yourself in front of a speeding train to save a cat….or, no Rachel needed you to stop a knife from coming at her. Did I get it yet?"
Xander sighs. He knows this is a continuation of their prior talk.
"Buffy…"
She interrupts him again. "There were more assassins after me right? Did they shoot you? Ooh, can I see the wounds? I bet they're real neat!"
She goes to lift up his shirt but he stops her.
"Buffy, stop it."
"What's the matter killer? I just want to coo over my protector's wounds. I just get all goose pimply inside when…"
Xander has had enough. "Let's go somewhere else, Buffy."
He grabs her by the arm but she knocks it off. "You don't get it do you? I don't want to be with you!"
"Buffy, stop it!"
"How did you get to be my body guard anyway? You know what, I don't think you're bad enough anyway. When did we decide that you were big tough man? I don't think you're tough enough for the job."
She pushes him. "Get out of here, Xander!" She pushes him again.
"Buffy, what the hell are you doing?"
Buffy runs out of the Bronze. Xander follows her.
"Buffy, stop!" He catches up to her. He grabs her in his arms. She fights it at first but then buries herself in his chest crying.
Xander knows the problem. The slayer has brought it up before. He doesn't know what to do about it though.
"Xander, I love you…I…can't watch you get hurt. Even with the quick healing thing you're in pain most of the time."
"That's just part of our job, Buffy."
"Don't you get what I'm saying Xander? I cannot watch the man I love get hurt all the time."
"Buffy, will you lighten up?"
"Didn't you hear what I said?"
Xander is really getting upset. He walks away from the slayer "I heard what you said, Buffy, but some things are out of our control. Some things are just part of the territory."
Buffy goes to him grabbing his shoulders very lovingly. "Xander, let's leave. Let's elope. Let's go somewhere where I can learn how to cook and stuff. Let's have children. With our love we can make it, Xander."
Xander walks from her. He sits down on the curb. She goes to him.
"Come on, Xander, it will be exciting."
"Honey, where is this coming from?"
"From me. The woman you love more than life itself. The woman you live for. The woman…"
Xander interrupts her. "Look, do you want to take the night off? I'll do patrol."
"And lay awake wondering if you'll come back? You don't get it! Xander….do you love me?"
"Stop it, Buffy!"
"Don't blow me off, Xander, I'm warning you!"
Xander goes to her. The slayer warms. She caresses his face.
"Please Xander I love you. I can't keep watching you get tortured and beaten and stabbed. You go off to save Rachel…it goes on and on. Your body, Xander. You have calluses and scars and bruises."
"So do you, Buffy. Honey, it's a rough life. We know that. You're scaring me, Slayer!"
"Why, because I can't keep seeing the man I love, the man who beats in my heart. This gentle caring…"
Xander does not like this at all.
"Stop it!"
"Xander, you're changing. You're hard and scary."
"What are you doing, Buffy? This is dangerous talk!"
"Please Xander. I am asking you as the woman you love to get me out of this."
"You need a break, Buffy?"
"I need a new life, Xander."
Xander looks her in the eyes. "Buffy, this is what we do, remember?"
"I'm the slayer. I'm putting it down for a while. You're suppose to be with me so you can go."
Xander gets very hard and distant. Buffy appeals to him.
"Sweetie, let's just try it. Come on."
When she looks into his eyes she can tell that he is not open to anymore discussion about it. She gets up to leave.
"Where are you going, Buffy?"
"Something just occurred to me, Xander. You're well suited for this stuff. That's why you adjusted so quickly. You get what you need from it."
"I get what I need from you, Buffy."
"You're not even in love with me, Xander."
"Don't get ridiculous, Buffy."
"No…you're in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer…"
"That's who you are, Buffy!"
"Well maybe I want to give it a rest for awhile."
Xander lowers his head shaking it from side to side.
"I'm getting something very disturbing from you, Xander."
"And, what is that, Buffy?"
"If I'm not the slayer you're not in love with me anymore."
"What kind of bullshit analysis is that, Buffy?"
"You can't take a break. This stuff runs in your veins. You live and breathe it. It consumes you."
"Good description…of both of us, Buffy! Both of us!"
"Why can't we take a break?"
"I can't answer that. That's not fair. Buffy, we can take it easy. We can go to your parents beach house. "
"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it."
"Yea, I do know it. I'm trying to tell myself you're not really saying it."
"You're message is coming through loud and clear, Xander."
"Don't do this, Buffy. I beg you from the bottom of my heart don't force me to make a choice like this."
Buffy looks at him. This is killing him and she knows it.
"Buffy, we'll talk to Giles. We'll go to your parents beach house. You don't know. That might do the trick. "
Buffy breaks down in Xander's arms. After a good cry they go straight to Giles house. Their graduation is in a few days. They arrange to take off for a few days after that.
All our heroes graduate from good old Sunnydale high with little fanfare. They all look forward to the future…well…some more than others I guess. But even the Scooby gang has some plans. They have a big meeting to discuss Buffy and Xander's brake.
Willow and Oz, Cordelia, Monica and her sister Cindy are there. Leslie has joined them again fresh from her study with Linda and Stacy. Devon has joined the gang as well as Jim, another member of Oz's band. All will cover so our two heroes can take a short brake.
Buffy and Xander do go to her parent's beach house. They have a mixture of fun and serious discussion. Buffy talks about it with Willow after they come back.
"He promised to stay in the background some times."
"Do you feel better, Buffy?"
"I don't know Will…I guess if he does what he says he will."
"You don't look completely convinced, Buffy."
"I just have to trust him, Willow. But, I don't know. What am I crazy? I don't even know what I'm asking him to do…I only know that I love him so much, Willow."
Buffy closes her eyes.
"We're the only ones who have these kinds of problems."
Buffy looks at the redhead.
"What happened while we were gone?"
"Oz loved it. Getting some of the heat off his best bud…he ate it up. He's just like him. Wouldn't even let me take anybody on unless it was totally unavoidable. Everytime a vamp hit me he went postal."
"I tell you, Willow, it must run in the blood or something. Hell I'm the slayer. He acts like I'm some kind of princess or something."
The two girls get a twinkle in their eyes at the same time. Buffy looks at Willow.
"Okay, Willow, say it!"
"I can't help it, Buffy…they are sooo cool!"
The slayer has to laugh. "Yes, Will…they are cool."
They both share a good laugh.
Giles has some disturbing news at the next meeting.
"I was visited by an old acquaintance who past on some very disturbing news. It seems as if there is a number of sword wielding creatures after our resident slayer. They are here to settle an old score."
Buffy immediately responds.
"Who did I kill to earn this honor, Giles?"
"Well, it wasn't actually you. By old score I mean very old."
"Oh, just your average "revenge on the slayer whoever she is now" type thing?"
"I suppose that is accurate although I wouldn't exactly say it that way."
"Yes Giles I know but when you say something I have to pay attention too much to get it."
Giles furrows his brow. "I shall not further investigate the implications of that statement at this time Buffy."
Willow comments. "You mean you won't go there."
Giles doesn't get it.
"Won't go where?"
Xander interrupts. "Ah, can we get back to the whole sword wielding creatures wanting to kill Buffy thing!"
The slayer sees the look in Xander's eyes and doesn't like it.
"He was talking to me, Xander."
"I know that, Buff."
Giles continues. "I think we should keep close watch on you until further notice."
Buffy rolls her eyes. Just what Xander needed to hear, keep close tabs on her. Now he'll be in that "protect the slayer" mode. She looks at him. He smiles at her.
"See, it's official. I have to stay very close to you."
Buffy has no problem with Xander staying close to her. That is her favorite position for him. It's when he dives in front of her or on top of her that she doesn't like.
"Joy, joy, joy!"
"Buffy, everybody will get the idea you don't want me near you."
She looks around. "Lavelle, there isn't anyone in the room except you who doesn't understand my problem with your protect the slayer routine."
"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy…now just relax."
He puts his arm around her. "Think of it this way. I am like an extension of you. When I dive in front of you it's just like a part of you doing it."
When Xander thinks of what he just said he realizes it might have had the opposite effect he desired.
"Well, maybe we'll forget what I just said."
Buffy decides to do just that. She gives him a peck on the check and pulls him to walk with her.
They stroll casually toward his house with the others not far behind.
"Xander, how did you ever get to be "you"?"
"I think maybe the Powers that be saw you and decided you needed somebody who would love you and need you and live for you and…"
Buffy heard enough.
"Shut up Xander." She gets him in a very passionate kiss.
"You always know what to say, don't you?"
"Well, my sweet petunia…"
She kisses him again. "Just be quiet, Xander."
"I never get you. You ask me a question. Then when I try to answer…"
She gets him in still another kiss.
"Yea, you do that…what's up Blondie?"
"Xander, you are so stupid in some things it's pathetic. Do you know that?"
"Well…"
"Just be quiet!"
In the bushes just before they get to Xander's house two very ferocious looking beasts pop out with mean looking blades perched above their heads.
Xander has weapons inside his house. He makes eye contact with Buffy. She signals for him to get them while she does what she can to hold off the beasts.
In the mean time Giles, Rebecca and the rest catch up. The beasts talk to the slayer.
Buffy dodges the first couple of swings of these formidable creatures. Xander comes flying out with two swords. Buffy grabs one then looks at Rebecca.
"Rebecca can you take the other one?"
Xander speaks up. "Buffy, no!"
"Xander, you promised you would stay in the background sometimes. This is one of these times."
Xander doesn't like it but honors Buffy's wishes. He throws Rebecca the other sword.
These creatures are good but no match for either Buffy or Rebecca. The female twosome defeats these plus two others.
Xander stayed in the background as asked. Buffy was separated from the others in the battle. As he looks in her direction he spots something which fills him with terror.
There is a commando type person with a small bazooka looking weapon readying it to fire in the direction of the Slayer.
Xander begins to run as fast as his legs will carry him toward his forever love. He yells her name as he gets closer.
By the time she looks up the blast of the weapon has already been heard. Xander leaves his feet in a frantic effort to reach Buffy before the projectile.
They both get to her at the same time!
Xander's body is spun around in a horrible twisting circle as the blast smashes into his body. Buffy is thrown clear by the concussion. She rolls on the concrete of the sidewalk bloodying her head and arms.
Xander's body looks like a smoldering ruin. Most of it is charred black and smoking. It is a miracle that he is still in one piece. The missile must have been some sort of small grenade. Only his face and a small portion of his torso escaped the burns.
Oz reacts first to the assailant. He chases him through the woods. Fueled by the injury to his best friend the attacker has little chance to escape. Oz tackles him. A short fight later he is subdued. But Oz hesitates as he prepares to stake it. This is not a monster. It's a person, a human being.
The slight pause is all the person needs to escape. He knocks Oz off of him and runs away. The wolf is left in shock.
In the meantime Buffy struggles to get up. Deep inside the pit of her soul she has a fear. She looked up and saw the face of the man she loves coming toward her. Then the next thing she knew she heard this horrible sound of metal tearing at flesh. It was the most sickening sound she has ever heard. But she prays that her worst fear is not true. She prays that somehow what just happened was a nightmare or something. Willow and Cordelia and Monica rush to her side while Giles and Rebecca go to Xander.
Buffy is already realizing that this is no dream. She refuses all help. She gets up slowly ignoring the blood dripping slowly from her head and arm.
She sees the others gathered around a smoking body. She inches slowly toward it. Giles was blocking her view but he moves to the side giving her a clear look. Of course it is Xander. She has to cover her mouth to keep from throwing up. She falls to her knees as her stomach revolts against the scene before her.
Dirt has already mixed with the blood and flesh of Xander's body. It is almost indescribable. Giles rushes a blanket around him as Xander's body begins to shiver from the trauma. When the Watcher sees Buffy.
"Rebecca, please take her away!"
Buffy doesn't even protest. She is in the state of shock. As soon as Rebecca touches her she collapses into her arms, partly from her wounds and partly from the sight before her.
Xander is taken away in an ambulance. Another takes the now unconscious Slayer.
The gang parades into the waiting room in complete silence. Devon is comforting Monica while Jim holds Cordelia. Oz has rejoined the group and is, of course, comforting Willow. Leslie has a blank stare while Giles paces. Rebecca tries to ask all the doctors and nurses if they think Xander will be okay. She is uncharacteristically nervous. Part of her is not sure that Xander's healing power can deal with this massive an injury.
No one knows. It is too soon to tell. All they keep saying is that he suffered serious burns over at least eighty percent of his body. Rebecca is forced to join the others… and just stare mainly.
Buffy has the same nightmare over and over. But, it is not really a nightmare. She is recalling what actually happened. There is no chance to wake up from it. At the moment she doesn't really care about much of anything. Not slaying or being the chosen one or in battling evil. Her life has taken the final blow. Even if Xander survives there is still no way to take away the horror of what happened.
But she cries out quietly to herself. "Please God let him live!"
Her wounds are cleaned and bandaged and then she joins the others in the waiting room. Everyone looks at her but no one makes a move to go to her. She grabs a seat and stares at the door where the doctors and nurses do their thing.
After four hours there is finally some word. A doctor comes to the middle of the waiting room. She addresses the gang.
"Mister Harris suffered severe burns to much of his body. When he first came in no one would have given him a chance to survive two hours. But he has almost miraculously responded to the treatment. It appears that his vital signs are stabilizing. We think he is going to be fine, actually."
The doctor says this last sentence as if she hardly believes it herself. She continues.
"If he continues to respond to the treatment he should be able to have visitors in a few hours."
When the doctor leaves there is a mini-celebration with everyone except Buffy. She leaves, heading to the small chapel near the waiting room. She sits in one of the pews and quietly sobs to herself.
Go on to Part Ten
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Buffy and the Slayerettes are Property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. No Copyright Infringement is Intended.