Neon Genesis Evangelion: Ascension
By Crooky Crookerson
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. If Gainax ever tells me to remove my stories from the web, I'll laugh in their faces and say that they'll never find me. Then they'll somehow track me down and take everything I own.
Chapter Two: The Pains Within and the Pains Without
***
The sun was just beginning its slow ascent over Tokyo 3. Sneaking in through open windows and between blinds, the gentle caress of sunlight caused the majority of the city to indignantly awaken. Shinji wasn't woken by the sun, though. He had the pleasure of waking up to a pounding headache.
For a few minutes, the Third Child did little more than lay in bed and silently pray for relief from the hammering in his head.
Until he saw what time it was.
"I'm late!" Shinji cried in horror as he jumped out of bed and scrambled to put on his school uniform. There was no time to wash or eat breakfast now, and he figured he could buy his lunch at school instead of making one.
Shinji was about to run out the door, planning on skipping breakfast, when he was crippled by powerful waves of hunger pangs. Cringing, he checked the clock again, and decided that he had enough time to eat a very quick meal. Growling in annoyance, the Third Child walked into the kitchen and dropped some bread into the toaster.
While Shinji had never been a big eater, once he took a bite of that toast he just couldn't stop himself. Within a matter of minutes, the entire loaf was gone, half of it not even toasted because his patience with the toaster ran out. Leftovers from Misato's home-cooked dinners came next, and after that were basic ingredients that were hardly even edible unless combined with other food.
By the time an hour had passed, Shinji had devoured all the edibles in the house.
He still didn't feel full, but at least the hunger pangs had subsided. Without a moment to spare, Shinji dashed out the door and ran all the way to school.
***
In classroom 2-A the teacher was reciting his well-rehearsed monologue about Second Impact and most of the students were occupying themselves with talk or homework, all of which was fairly normal. That sense of normalcy was shattered once Shinji ran into the room, yelling an apology for being late.
The class representative reprimanded him immediately, giving him two weeks of cleanup duty for being late and interrupting the class. A chorus of relieved sighs resounded throughout the room, coming from those students who had just been freed from cleanup for the time being.
Despite the interruption, the teacher never missed a beat. He was far too absorbed in reliving the past to even notice what just took place.
For Shinji the day was already off to a terrible start and, knowing his life, his bad luck would probably last for the rest of the week, at the very least. His shoulders slumped gloomily.
His depression was interrupted by a call indicator popping up on his computer screen. He accepted the call and waited while the message was typed in.
Why were you late?
Normally Shinji would have looked up to see who was messaging him, but today he was already too depressed, and too hungry, to care. He had a fairly good idea who it was anyway, since neither Touji nor Kensuke were at school today. Asuka, he guessed as he languidly typed in a reply.
Woke up later, had big breakfast.
With that, the Third Child disconnected the call and turned off his computer. Trying to ignore the quickly returning jabs from his insatiable stomach, he settled into gazing about the room absent-mindedly. His eyes quickly found their way to Rei, the blue-haired pilot of Unit 00 and a definite enigma to the Third Child. It was then that Shinji realized two odd things.
Rei was staring back at him.
And she was frowning.
Shinji didn't dare flinch as those scarlet eyes dissected him. He felt like she knew all of his secrets. The staring match continued for several tense moments, neither side giving even the slightest quarter. A minute turned into two, and then three. A few other students had noticed the two pilots, and several whispered rumors were already being circulated around the class.
Shinji's eyes were starting to dry out. He desperately wanted to blink, and wondered if a person could go blind from keeping their eyes open too long. However, just when his resolve was about to wear out, Rei turned away from him and resumed looking out the window.
The Third Child let out a long sigh, and returned to his internal monologue. Why was Rei suddenly so interested in him? Rei was never interested in anything! And why did she look so concerned with him? Sure, Shinji didn't look or feel his very best today, but the enigmatic First Child had never seemed to care before.
Boredom mounting once more, Shinji could barely keep his eyes open. The droning of the old teacher had long since faded into the background, and since Touji was still in the hospital and Kensuke was absent, there was no one Shinji particularly wanted to talk to.
He glanced over at Asuka. The redhead was doing her best to ignore the Third Child, though she occasionally tossed him dirty glances.
Shinji shook his head and lay down on his desk, arms crossed to provide an impromptu cushion. "She's probably still mad about me beating her synch score," he muttered to himself.
You earned that score.
"I earned it," Shinji whispered.
You're the best Evangelion pilot.
"I am the best pilot," Shinji confirmed.
But they don't respect you.
"They don't. They hate me."
They do hate you. You could change that.
"How?"
You have the power.
"I have power?"
Yes. You just have to open your heart to me.
"Open my heart? I don't understand."
You could end all the pain.
"No more pain..." Shinji whispered to the voice in his head. His eyes grew heavy, and he slowly closed them. Blackness enveloped the Third Child as he slipped from the realm of conscious thought and into the land of dreams.
***
Shinji was alone, sitting in a chair in front of an empty stage. The lights were off, and he couldn't see anything on the stage except darkness. Suddenly, everything went dark, and the stage lights turned on, revealing a scene that Shinji remembered very well.
***
Shinji and Rei were alone in her room, in a very awkward position. Shinji's nervousness and clumsiness had caused them both to fall, and now he was too taken aback to move. The stunned Third Child was kneeling over a naked First Child, his hand in a very comfortable place.
The sounds of construction echoed through the building for a few tense seconds.
"Will you get off?" Rei asked him in her usual tone of voice. He looked around for a moment, and then realized exactly what was happening. He pondered the situation for a moment, and then grinned evilly and moved to straddle her, pinning her to the ground.
"Sure Rei," He told her as he began to take off his shirt. "I'll get off. You probably won't though, but that doesn't matter."
"What are you-" Rei began, but was cut off by a slap to the face.
"Shut up!" Shinji yelled as her, and started unbuckling his belt and sliding his pants off. "Be quiet and you might enjoy yourself."
Rei tried to force the Third Child off herself, but he was too strong. She continued to writhe in his grasp until another slap to her reddening face caused her to cease. She began battering the boy with her free arms, quietly begging him to stop, but he quickly pinned them to her sides and silenced her protests with a brutal kiss.
Helpless, Rei could only pray that it would be over soon.
It was the first time she could ever remember crying.
***
"What the hell is this?" Shinji yelled, shocked as he watched the scene continue to unfold. "This isn't how it happened! I would never do that!"
You wanted to.
"What?" Shinji exclaimed, shocked at both the voice in his mind and the implications of its statement. "N-no I didn't! I mean... I d-did... but not like this!"
What difference does it make? She hates you anyway.
"It's still wrong! I would never do anything like this!"
They're using you. You might as well use them back.
Shinji could only shake his head and cringe as the scene became more... gratuitous. Slowly, the stage faded to black once more, and the grunts and whimpers ceased. The lights slowly came back on, but the scene was different.
The Third Child turned his head away, trying not to look, but strong hands gripped his head and forced him to watch another familiar event unfold itself.
***
Misato, Kensuke, Touji, Asuka, and he were standing on the deck of the UN super carrier 'Over the Rainbow.' Asuka walked past Touji, whose cheek was throbbing from two slaps to the face, "So, which one is the famous Third Child?"
She glanced at Touji and made a disappointed face, "Ach, nein."
"Don't worry Asuka," Misato told her. She tilted her head towards the quiet, unassuming boy standing to her left. "It's him."
Asuka leaned forward to scrutinize the young boy, and gave him a short stare. She slumped her shoulders slightly. "Hmmm... Not much to look at."
Shinji's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, "I could say the same for you. We wanted a pilot and they sent us a bitchy little girl."
"What?" Asuka exclaimed, her features turning furiously red. "Care to repeat that, Third Child?"
"Sure, I said you're an inept, spoiled bitch. Why don't you go crying back to your mother in Germany, because nobody wants you around here," Shinji paused and grinned evilly. "Wait, I forgot, she's dead! Of course, it's not like she'd want you any more than we do, considering that she thought a doll was better than her real daughter!"
Everyone on the deck was stunned to silence. Tears began to well up in Asuka's eyes, and she raised a hand to slap the boy. Shinji was much quicker, and he viciously backhanded her across the face, causing her collapse to the deck.
"How disgusting," Shinji sneered as he walked passed the sobbing Second Child, frowning disdainfully.
***
"Asuka, no!" Shinji cried to the "actor" on the stage. When she didn't respond, his head sunk into his hands in defeat. His voice became little more than a whisper. "That's not me. I would never try to hurt you."
Why not?
"Because... I..." Shinji began, but couldn't finish.
You tried to be nice, but she hates you anyway. Why not show her how it feels?
"I'm not like that!"
All you do is cause pain.
"I don't mean to. I don't want to hurt anyone."
All you can do is cause pain.
"I DON'T WANT TO!"
The voice in his mind went silent for a long while, and the lights on the stage dimmed until the whole room was shrouded in darkness once more. The dark was so thick that it seemed almost tangible, and Shinji couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. For what seemed like hours, the shadows were all Shinji could see. Slowly, the darkness on the stage was banished as the lights turned back on.
***
Asuka repetitively tapped her finger on the wooden table, bored to tears, and tried to think of something to pass the time. An idea surfaced in her mind, and she toyed with it for a few seconds before steadying her resolve.
"Hey Shinji," she said to the boy sitting a few feet from her. He had his SDAT turned on, but she knew he was paying attention to her. He always did. "You wanna kiss me?"
"Huh?" the Third Child's eyes widened slightly, and he took out his ear buds. "What?"
"Kissing. You know," Asuka continued. "Have you ever done it?"
Shinji nodded his head slowly, still in a state of disbelief. Was this really happening? Was he dreaming again? It certainly seemed like a dream he'd have. Boy and girl are alone in the house, girl is bored and wearing very little clothing. Yep, this was probably a Shinji dream.
Asuka raised her head from the table and looked at him. "So let's do it."
Shinji was slightly taken aback. Even for a dream, this was kind of weird. "But why?"
"I've got nothing else to do," the Second Child told him and the intent for mischief clear in her tone of voice.
"Uhh. that's your reason?" Shinji stammered. He looked down at the floor. "You're weird."
Asuka decided to prod him a bit. "Afraid to kiss a girl on the anniversary of your mom's death? Is she watching you from up in heaven?"
"That's not it."
"Or are you scared?" she asked him, the smirk on her face that Shinji had always hated. He was now pretty sure that this wasn't a dream. The Asuka's in his dreams were more... submissive. Regardless, this was real, and he was really about to kiss her. Really.
"I'm not afraid," he said as he stood up. "Pucker up!"
"Right," Asuka said as she stood to meet him. "Did you brush your teeth?"
Shinji nodded. "Yeah."
"Then here I come," she said as she approached him. They both closed their eyes as Asuka leaned in to initiate the lip-lock. Shinji's cheeks were flushed from embarrassment and nervousness in equal amounts. He waited for a moment before opening his eyes. Asuka was staring at him, mere inches from his face.
"Stop breathing, it's tickling me!" the redhead told him. Before he could even think to reply, her hand shot up and pinched his nose shut. The next thing he knew, their lips were mashed together clumsily. She began moaning slightly as she explored his mouth.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to the oxygen-deficient Third Child.
She was using him.
She was taking what she wanted from him.
She didn't care about him.
She hated him.
The pent up rage within him reached the bursting point, and Shinji's hands moved up to encircle her neck. He began squeezing, and Asuka's eyes shot open. She began to flail wildy, but he was too strong. He kept their lips pressed together, began kissing her back.
She could take what she wanted now, but she wouldn't take ever again.
Slowly her thrashing stopped, and the light left her eyes. Shinji let the body fall to the ground, and then went to go watch some television.
***
"STOP IT!" Shinji cried as the scene on stage ended and the lights dimmed once more. He buried his face in his hands and began sobbing quietly. "Please stop... I don't want to see any more..."
Why not?
"Because it's not real!"
But it is real. This is just as real as anything else you've ever done. This is real because it is exactly what you are capable of. What makes it even more real is the fact that you truly want to do it.
"No! No, I don't! I don't want to hurt anyone!"
Yes you do. You want to hurt them all. They hate you, so why not? Because you're afraid? You have the power, you have the ability. You just have to open your heart to it.
"No," was all Shinji could say. He repeated it over and over again between sobs. "No. No. No."
Do it. Take your revenge. Then, and only then, will you be ready to join with me. When we join, all the pain in the world will cease. The tortured souls that cry out for an end will be at peace.
"Shut up," Shinji whispered. "Shut up, I don't want to listen. Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don't want to be here any more! Misato? Misato! Help me, please! Somebody! Anybody..."
They won't help you.
***
Shinji was snapped from his nightmare by the sound of the bell that signaled the end of class and the beginning of lunch. He raised his head, and saw that a young girl was standing before him, clutching a bento box. She smiled nervously and held it out for him.
"Ummm... Shinji," the girl said. She was blushing deeply. The fact that everyone in the class was staring at the pair didn't help her disposition. "This... I made this for you... I hope you like it."
The Third Child narrowed his eyes dangerously.
He sighed loudly, and got out of his desk to stand before the girl. "What's your name?"
"I-I'm Takako. Takako Shimizu," she told him, the apprehension showing through plainly in her voice.
"Well Takako, let me show you something," Shinji smirked at her. His smirk turned into a snarl as he fiercely slapped the bento box from her hands and sent it soaring into a wall, where it shattered and spilled its contents over the floor. Judging by the condition of the food inside, it was clear that Takako had taken great care in making this for him. "I don't want anything from you. Get out of here; you disgust me."
Tears began to form in the girl's eyes, and she turned and ran out the door. Several frightened students followed her, while others stood up and glared at Shinji menacingly. They, too, hastily retreated when the Third Child sent withering gazes their way. Shinji snorted in disdain when no one would rise to challenge him, but he was suddenly spun around to face a very angry redhead.
"What the hell is your problem, Third Child?" Asuka shouted at him. Her left hand was planted firmly on his shoulder, prohibiting any possible escape. Her right hand was flexing instinctively, and Shinji grinned when he noticed that she had picked up his habit.
"Are you going to hit me?" he asked her. "Or are you just going to kiss me again?"
A collective gasp echoed around the room, and the German girl blushed furiously. Her grip on his shoulder weakened slightly, allowing Shinji to wrench free of her grasp.
"Either way," he continued. "All you do is abuse me."
Shinji walked out of the room, but not before sending another contemptuous gaze across the class. Asuka was at a total loss for words, and all she could do was return to her seat in silence. In a few more moments, the incident was pushed to the back of the minds of the students of 2-A, as they uneasily tried to move on to more pleasant topics. Still, rumors were beginning to form, and by the end of lunch the entire school would be buzzing with gossip.
Hikari and Asuka were eating lunch together silently, neither daring to be the first to voice their opinion on the matter. The quiet soon grew too much for the class representative, and she opened her mouth to speak when she was interrupted by a monotonous voice.
"Pilot Sohryu," Rei said. Neither Hikari nor Asuka were sure when the First Child had walked over to them, but they were used to her ghostly movements by now. Asuka looked up at the blue-haired girl and frowned.
"What is it Wondergirl?" Asuka sneered. "I'm trying to eat lunch."
"I wish to ask you a question," Rei began, but then paused for a moment. "Do you know what has caused this sudden shift in behavior for pilot Ikari?"
"How the hell should I know what's wrong with that pervert?" Asuka yelled. Her sudden shouting sent a startled Hikari reeling slightly, though Rei didn't react at all.
"You and he share a domicile," the First Child continued. "It would be prudent to assume that you have some knowledge as to his mental well- being."
The redhead went back eating her lunch. "For your information, Wondergirl, I haven't been there since before Shinji got out of the hospital. I've been staying at Hikari's to get away from that dummkoph."
"Then perhaps it would be sensible to have someone stay with him for the duration of your absence," Rei offered. "Major Katsuragi's guardianship skills leave much to be desired."
Asuka looked up from her bento box to stare at the First Child once more, who was wearing her typical unreadable expression. She glanced at Hikari, who had a concerned look on her face. Asuka threw her arms up in defeat. "Fine! I'll move back in with the Third Child and keep an eye on him. Why the sudden interest in that pervert anyway, Wondergirl?"
"I am concerned," Rei said slowly. "I believe he is unwell, but does not realize how badly."
***
Shinji walked aimlessly through the halls of the school, which were mostly vacant since most students ate their lunch in the classrooms or outside. He was hungry, since he didn't have a lunch prepared and had no money to buy food. What's more, he was wracked with guilt over what he had done to Takako, when all she had done was offered him a bento.
"Why did I do that?" Shinji muttered to himself. He had been quietly admonishing himself since he had walked out of the classroom. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
You enjoyed it. That's why you did it.
"No," Shinji cried, gripping the sides of his head as he stumbled down the hall. "No, I didn't! I feel awful!"
It doesn't matter. Soon you shall lose your grip on humanity. Then you will be ready to join with me.
"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"
"Don't tell me to shut up, asshole," a deep, unfamiliar voice said from in front of him. When Shinji opened his eyes and looked up, he noticed that he was standing in front of a group of boys. The largest boy was glaring at him angrily.
Shinji slowly lowered his hands from the sides of his head and collected himself enough to speak. "Who're you? What do you want?"
The big student frowned. He had already said all this once, and he hated repeating himself. "I'm Takako's brother, Minoru, and I'm here to beat the shit out of you for making my sister cry like that."
"Takako..." Shinji murmured as he lowered his gaze. He definitely deserved whatever these boys were going to do to him. He looked up at Minoru. "I'm so-" Shinji's apology was cut off when Minoru smashed a fist into the Third Child's jaw.
He barely flinched.
There were several gasps of astonishment from the crowd. This was Minoru, easily the biggest student in the school. Nobody had ever managed to keep standing after even one of his punches. Minoru was equally as perplexed as the multitude of students that surrounded the pair, and raised a hand for another punch to the scrawny Third Child.
The second punch hit Shinji directly in the chest, and he toppled over as searing pain coursed through his body. He suddenly felt as if all his energy had been drained from him. Blackness danced at the edges of his vision, and the Third Child gradually slipped into unconsciousness. The last thing he saw was a laughing Minoru Shimizu.
***
Touji was having a pleasant dream in his hospital bed, involving himself and Hikari, when he was jolted awake by the sound of someone entering his room. His eyes were still blurry from sleep, but he could still make out the pure white uniform of the nurse.
"Is that you, Nurse Yumi?" Touji croaked slowly. He was still very tired, and would have preferred a few more hours of sleep. When he received no answer, his muddled mind assumed she was just too wrapped up in her duties to notice. "How are you today? Did that date with your boyfriend go well? What am I saying, you got advice from me! Did you do what I told you to?"
By this time Touji's brain, though still weary, was registering that something was not quite right. The nurse was just standing over him, holding something shiny and muttering under her breath. He blinked rapidly to clear his tired eyes. "Nurse Yumi? What are you doing?"
Touji's vision cleared, and he finally realized that the person standing over him was not the nurse. "Who're yommmffhgh!" The woman put a hand over his mouth to silence his protests. He reached his only remaining arm up to fight her off, but she pinned that down with her elbow.
"Oh, heavenly father," the woman was whispering. "Please forgive this child for his transgressions against your messengers, and please bless his soul on its journey to the hereafter." She kissed the silver object that she was clutching, and Touji realized exactly what it was...
...A cross, with the bottom portion filed down to a sharp edge.
Touji didn't have time to scream as the woman buried the sharp edge of the cross deep within his heart. He watched her in mute disbelief as she took out a photo and tore it in two pieces. Then, she reached into her uniform and took out another picture. Just as Touji's vision was beginning to fade into darkness, he saw who was in that picture.
Shinji Ikari.
Then, Touji Suzuhara knew only the sweet nothingness of oblivion.
To be continued...
***
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Thus, the second chapter of the second version of Ascension sees the light. That was a fun chapter to write, for a number of reasons. One, I got to be mean to a bunch of characters, and two, I got to kill of somebody. Why Touji, you ask? Well, I really hate all those Touji/Asuka pairings, so I suppose this is my way of taking my petty revenge. Yeah, that'll do... *eyes shift back and forth evilly*
On a side note, it was surprisingly hard to write the part with Tokako. Not because I couldn't think of something mean to do, but I was hesitant to actually write it out. Weird. Now I have this urge to make Shinji apologize, and have them live happily ever after. I doubt that will happen though. I mean, would any girl ever even consider a boy after he did something like that? That's an interesting point. Alright, the question I send out to everyone who decides to write a review is this: Would you forgive Shinji?
Next chapter should be up soon! Ciao!
By Crooky Crookerson
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. If Gainax ever tells me to remove my stories from the web, I'll laugh in their faces and say that they'll never find me. Then they'll somehow track me down and take everything I own.
Chapter Two: The Pains Within and the Pains Without
***
The sun was just beginning its slow ascent over Tokyo 3. Sneaking in through open windows and between blinds, the gentle caress of sunlight caused the majority of the city to indignantly awaken. Shinji wasn't woken by the sun, though. He had the pleasure of waking up to a pounding headache.
For a few minutes, the Third Child did little more than lay in bed and silently pray for relief from the hammering in his head.
Until he saw what time it was.
"I'm late!" Shinji cried in horror as he jumped out of bed and scrambled to put on his school uniform. There was no time to wash or eat breakfast now, and he figured he could buy his lunch at school instead of making one.
Shinji was about to run out the door, planning on skipping breakfast, when he was crippled by powerful waves of hunger pangs. Cringing, he checked the clock again, and decided that he had enough time to eat a very quick meal. Growling in annoyance, the Third Child walked into the kitchen and dropped some bread into the toaster.
While Shinji had never been a big eater, once he took a bite of that toast he just couldn't stop himself. Within a matter of minutes, the entire loaf was gone, half of it not even toasted because his patience with the toaster ran out. Leftovers from Misato's home-cooked dinners came next, and after that were basic ingredients that were hardly even edible unless combined with other food.
By the time an hour had passed, Shinji had devoured all the edibles in the house.
He still didn't feel full, but at least the hunger pangs had subsided. Without a moment to spare, Shinji dashed out the door and ran all the way to school.
***
In classroom 2-A the teacher was reciting his well-rehearsed monologue about Second Impact and most of the students were occupying themselves with talk or homework, all of which was fairly normal. That sense of normalcy was shattered once Shinji ran into the room, yelling an apology for being late.
The class representative reprimanded him immediately, giving him two weeks of cleanup duty for being late and interrupting the class. A chorus of relieved sighs resounded throughout the room, coming from those students who had just been freed from cleanup for the time being.
Despite the interruption, the teacher never missed a beat. He was far too absorbed in reliving the past to even notice what just took place.
For Shinji the day was already off to a terrible start and, knowing his life, his bad luck would probably last for the rest of the week, at the very least. His shoulders slumped gloomily.
His depression was interrupted by a call indicator popping up on his computer screen. He accepted the call and waited while the message was typed in.
Why were you late?
Normally Shinji would have looked up to see who was messaging him, but today he was already too depressed, and too hungry, to care. He had a fairly good idea who it was anyway, since neither Touji nor Kensuke were at school today. Asuka, he guessed as he languidly typed in a reply.
Woke up later, had big breakfast.
With that, the Third Child disconnected the call and turned off his computer. Trying to ignore the quickly returning jabs from his insatiable stomach, he settled into gazing about the room absent-mindedly. His eyes quickly found their way to Rei, the blue-haired pilot of Unit 00 and a definite enigma to the Third Child. It was then that Shinji realized two odd things.
Rei was staring back at him.
And she was frowning.
Shinji didn't dare flinch as those scarlet eyes dissected him. He felt like she knew all of his secrets. The staring match continued for several tense moments, neither side giving even the slightest quarter. A minute turned into two, and then three. A few other students had noticed the two pilots, and several whispered rumors were already being circulated around the class.
Shinji's eyes were starting to dry out. He desperately wanted to blink, and wondered if a person could go blind from keeping their eyes open too long. However, just when his resolve was about to wear out, Rei turned away from him and resumed looking out the window.
The Third Child let out a long sigh, and returned to his internal monologue. Why was Rei suddenly so interested in him? Rei was never interested in anything! And why did she look so concerned with him? Sure, Shinji didn't look or feel his very best today, but the enigmatic First Child had never seemed to care before.
Boredom mounting once more, Shinji could barely keep his eyes open. The droning of the old teacher had long since faded into the background, and since Touji was still in the hospital and Kensuke was absent, there was no one Shinji particularly wanted to talk to.
He glanced over at Asuka. The redhead was doing her best to ignore the Third Child, though she occasionally tossed him dirty glances.
Shinji shook his head and lay down on his desk, arms crossed to provide an impromptu cushion. "She's probably still mad about me beating her synch score," he muttered to himself.
You earned that score.
"I earned it," Shinji whispered.
You're the best Evangelion pilot.
"I am the best pilot," Shinji confirmed.
But they don't respect you.
"They don't. They hate me."
They do hate you. You could change that.
"How?"
You have the power.
"I have power?"
Yes. You just have to open your heart to me.
"Open my heart? I don't understand."
You could end all the pain.
"No more pain..." Shinji whispered to the voice in his head. His eyes grew heavy, and he slowly closed them. Blackness enveloped the Third Child as he slipped from the realm of conscious thought and into the land of dreams.
***
Shinji was alone, sitting in a chair in front of an empty stage. The lights were off, and he couldn't see anything on the stage except darkness. Suddenly, everything went dark, and the stage lights turned on, revealing a scene that Shinji remembered very well.
***
Shinji and Rei were alone in her room, in a very awkward position. Shinji's nervousness and clumsiness had caused them both to fall, and now he was too taken aback to move. The stunned Third Child was kneeling over a naked First Child, his hand in a very comfortable place.
The sounds of construction echoed through the building for a few tense seconds.
"Will you get off?" Rei asked him in her usual tone of voice. He looked around for a moment, and then realized exactly what was happening. He pondered the situation for a moment, and then grinned evilly and moved to straddle her, pinning her to the ground.
"Sure Rei," He told her as he began to take off his shirt. "I'll get off. You probably won't though, but that doesn't matter."
"What are you-" Rei began, but was cut off by a slap to the face.
"Shut up!" Shinji yelled as her, and started unbuckling his belt and sliding his pants off. "Be quiet and you might enjoy yourself."
Rei tried to force the Third Child off herself, but he was too strong. She continued to writhe in his grasp until another slap to her reddening face caused her to cease. She began battering the boy with her free arms, quietly begging him to stop, but he quickly pinned them to her sides and silenced her protests with a brutal kiss.
Helpless, Rei could only pray that it would be over soon.
It was the first time she could ever remember crying.
***
"What the hell is this?" Shinji yelled, shocked as he watched the scene continue to unfold. "This isn't how it happened! I would never do that!"
You wanted to.
"What?" Shinji exclaimed, shocked at both the voice in his mind and the implications of its statement. "N-no I didn't! I mean... I d-did... but not like this!"
What difference does it make? She hates you anyway.
"It's still wrong! I would never do anything like this!"
They're using you. You might as well use them back.
Shinji could only shake his head and cringe as the scene became more... gratuitous. Slowly, the stage faded to black once more, and the grunts and whimpers ceased. The lights slowly came back on, but the scene was different.
The Third Child turned his head away, trying not to look, but strong hands gripped his head and forced him to watch another familiar event unfold itself.
***
Misato, Kensuke, Touji, Asuka, and he were standing on the deck of the UN super carrier 'Over the Rainbow.' Asuka walked past Touji, whose cheek was throbbing from two slaps to the face, "So, which one is the famous Third Child?"
She glanced at Touji and made a disappointed face, "Ach, nein."
"Don't worry Asuka," Misato told her. She tilted her head towards the quiet, unassuming boy standing to her left. "It's him."
Asuka leaned forward to scrutinize the young boy, and gave him a short stare. She slumped her shoulders slightly. "Hmmm... Not much to look at."
Shinji's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, "I could say the same for you. We wanted a pilot and they sent us a bitchy little girl."
"What?" Asuka exclaimed, her features turning furiously red. "Care to repeat that, Third Child?"
"Sure, I said you're an inept, spoiled bitch. Why don't you go crying back to your mother in Germany, because nobody wants you around here," Shinji paused and grinned evilly. "Wait, I forgot, she's dead! Of course, it's not like she'd want you any more than we do, considering that she thought a doll was better than her real daughter!"
Everyone on the deck was stunned to silence. Tears began to well up in Asuka's eyes, and she raised a hand to slap the boy. Shinji was much quicker, and he viciously backhanded her across the face, causing her collapse to the deck.
"How disgusting," Shinji sneered as he walked passed the sobbing Second Child, frowning disdainfully.
***
"Asuka, no!" Shinji cried to the "actor" on the stage. When she didn't respond, his head sunk into his hands in defeat. His voice became little more than a whisper. "That's not me. I would never try to hurt you."
Why not?
"Because... I..." Shinji began, but couldn't finish.
You tried to be nice, but she hates you anyway. Why not show her how it feels?
"I'm not like that!"
All you do is cause pain.
"I don't mean to. I don't want to hurt anyone."
All you can do is cause pain.
"I DON'T WANT TO!"
The voice in his mind went silent for a long while, and the lights on the stage dimmed until the whole room was shrouded in darkness once more. The dark was so thick that it seemed almost tangible, and Shinji couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. For what seemed like hours, the shadows were all Shinji could see. Slowly, the darkness on the stage was banished as the lights turned back on.
***
Asuka repetitively tapped her finger on the wooden table, bored to tears, and tried to think of something to pass the time. An idea surfaced in her mind, and she toyed with it for a few seconds before steadying her resolve.
"Hey Shinji," she said to the boy sitting a few feet from her. He had his SDAT turned on, but she knew he was paying attention to her. He always did. "You wanna kiss me?"
"Huh?" the Third Child's eyes widened slightly, and he took out his ear buds. "What?"
"Kissing. You know," Asuka continued. "Have you ever done it?"
Shinji nodded his head slowly, still in a state of disbelief. Was this really happening? Was he dreaming again? It certainly seemed like a dream he'd have. Boy and girl are alone in the house, girl is bored and wearing very little clothing. Yep, this was probably a Shinji dream.
Asuka raised her head from the table and looked at him. "So let's do it."
Shinji was slightly taken aback. Even for a dream, this was kind of weird. "But why?"
"I've got nothing else to do," the Second Child told him and the intent for mischief clear in her tone of voice.
"Uhh. that's your reason?" Shinji stammered. He looked down at the floor. "You're weird."
Asuka decided to prod him a bit. "Afraid to kiss a girl on the anniversary of your mom's death? Is she watching you from up in heaven?"
"That's not it."
"Or are you scared?" she asked him, the smirk on her face that Shinji had always hated. He was now pretty sure that this wasn't a dream. The Asuka's in his dreams were more... submissive. Regardless, this was real, and he was really about to kiss her. Really.
"I'm not afraid," he said as he stood up. "Pucker up!"
"Right," Asuka said as she stood to meet him. "Did you brush your teeth?"
Shinji nodded. "Yeah."
"Then here I come," she said as she approached him. They both closed their eyes as Asuka leaned in to initiate the lip-lock. Shinji's cheeks were flushed from embarrassment and nervousness in equal amounts. He waited for a moment before opening his eyes. Asuka was staring at him, mere inches from his face.
"Stop breathing, it's tickling me!" the redhead told him. Before he could even think to reply, her hand shot up and pinched his nose shut. The next thing he knew, their lips were mashed together clumsily. She began moaning slightly as she explored his mouth.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to the oxygen-deficient Third Child.
She was using him.
She was taking what she wanted from him.
She didn't care about him.
She hated him.
The pent up rage within him reached the bursting point, and Shinji's hands moved up to encircle her neck. He began squeezing, and Asuka's eyes shot open. She began to flail wildy, but he was too strong. He kept their lips pressed together, began kissing her back.
She could take what she wanted now, but she wouldn't take ever again.
Slowly her thrashing stopped, and the light left her eyes. Shinji let the body fall to the ground, and then went to go watch some television.
***
"STOP IT!" Shinji cried as the scene on stage ended and the lights dimmed once more. He buried his face in his hands and began sobbing quietly. "Please stop... I don't want to see any more..."
Why not?
"Because it's not real!"
But it is real. This is just as real as anything else you've ever done. This is real because it is exactly what you are capable of. What makes it even more real is the fact that you truly want to do it.
"No! No, I don't! I don't want to hurt anyone!"
Yes you do. You want to hurt them all. They hate you, so why not? Because you're afraid? You have the power, you have the ability. You just have to open your heart to it.
"No," was all Shinji could say. He repeated it over and over again between sobs. "No. No. No."
Do it. Take your revenge. Then, and only then, will you be ready to join with me. When we join, all the pain in the world will cease. The tortured souls that cry out for an end will be at peace.
"Shut up," Shinji whispered. "Shut up, I don't want to listen. Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don't want to be here any more! Misato? Misato! Help me, please! Somebody! Anybody..."
They won't help you.
***
Shinji was snapped from his nightmare by the sound of the bell that signaled the end of class and the beginning of lunch. He raised his head, and saw that a young girl was standing before him, clutching a bento box. She smiled nervously and held it out for him.
"Ummm... Shinji," the girl said. She was blushing deeply. The fact that everyone in the class was staring at the pair didn't help her disposition. "This... I made this for you... I hope you like it."
The Third Child narrowed his eyes dangerously.
He sighed loudly, and got out of his desk to stand before the girl. "What's your name?"
"I-I'm Takako. Takako Shimizu," she told him, the apprehension showing through plainly in her voice.
"Well Takako, let me show you something," Shinji smirked at her. His smirk turned into a snarl as he fiercely slapped the bento box from her hands and sent it soaring into a wall, where it shattered and spilled its contents over the floor. Judging by the condition of the food inside, it was clear that Takako had taken great care in making this for him. "I don't want anything from you. Get out of here; you disgust me."
Tears began to form in the girl's eyes, and she turned and ran out the door. Several frightened students followed her, while others stood up and glared at Shinji menacingly. They, too, hastily retreated when the Third Child sent withering gazes their way. Shinji snorted in disdain when no one would rise to challenge him, but he was suddenly spun around to face a very angry redhead.
"What the hell is your problem, Third Child?" Asuka shouted at him. Her left hand was planted firmly on his shoulder, prohibiting any possible escape. Her right hand was flexing instinctively, and Shinji grinned when he noticed that she had picked up his habit.
"Are you going to hit me?" he asked her. "Or are you just going to kiss me again?"
A collective gasp echoed around the room, and the German girl blushed furiously. Her grip on his shoulder weakened slightly, allowing Shinji to wrench free of her grasp.
"Either way," he continued. "All you do is abuse me."
Shinji walked out of the room, but not before sending another contemptuous gaze across the class. Asuka was at a total loss for words, and all she could do was return to her seat in silence. In a few more moments, the incident was pushed to the back of the minds of the students of 2-A, as they uneasily tried to move on to more pleasant topics. Still, rumors were beginning to form, and by the end of lunch the entire school would be buzzing with gossip.
Hikari and Asuka were eating lunch together silently, neither daring to be the first to voice their opinion on the matter. The quiet soon grew too much for the class representative, and she opened her mouth to speak when she was interrupted by a monotonous voice.
"Pilot Sohryu," Rei said. Neither Hikari nor Asuka were sure when the First Child had walked over to them, but they were used to her ghostly movements by now. Asuka looked up at the blue-haired girl and frowned.
"What is it Wondergirl?" Asuka sneered. "I'm trying to eat lunch."
"I wish to ask you a question," Rei began, but then paused for a moment. "Do you know what has caused this sudden shift in behavior for pilot Ikari?"
"How the hell should I know what's wrong with that pervert?" Asuka yelled. Her sudden shouting sent a startled Hikari reeling slightly, though Rei didn't react at all.
"You and he share a domicile," the First Child continued. "It would be prudent to assume that you have some knowledge as to his mental well- being."
The redhead went back eating her lunch. "For your information, Wondergirl, I haven't been there since before Shinji got out of the hospital. I've been staying at Hikari's to get away from that dummkoph."
"Then perhaps it would be sensible to have someone stay with him for the duration of your absence," Rei offered. "Major Katsuragi's guardianship skills leave much to be desired."
Asuka looked up from her bento box to stare at the First Child once more, who was wearing her typical unreadable expression. She glanced at Hikari, who had a concerned look on her face. Asuka threw her arms up in defeat. "Fine! I'll move back in with the Third Child and keep an eye on him. Why the sudden interest in that pervert anyway, Wondergirl?"
"I am concerned," Rei said slowly. "I believe he is unwell, but does not realize how badly."
***
Shinji walked aimlessly through the halls of the school, which were mostly vacant since most students ate their lunch in the classrooms or outside. He was hungry, since he didn't have a lunch prepared and had no money to buy food. What's more, he was wracked with guilt over what he had done to Takako, when all she had done was offered him a bento.
"Why did I do that?" Shinji muttered to himself. He had been quietly admonishing himself since he had walked out of the classroom. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
You enjoyed it. That's why you did it.
"No," Shinji cried, gripping the sides of his head as he stumbled down the hall. "No, I didn't! I feel awful!"
It doesn't matter. Soon you shall lose your grip on humanity. Then you will be ready to join with me.
"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"
"Don't tell me to shut up, asshole," a deep, unfamiliar voice said from in front of him. When Shinji opened his eyes and looked up, he noticed that he was standing in front of a group of boys. The largest boy was glaring at him angrily.
Shinji slowly lowered his hands from the sides of his head and collected himself enough to speak. "Who're you? What do you want?"
The big student frowned. He had already said all this once, and he hated repeating himself. "I'm Takako's brother, Minoru, and I'm here to beat the shit out of you for making my sister cry like that."
"Takako..." Shinji murmured as he lowered his gaze. He definitely deserved whatever these boys were going to do to him. He looked up at Minoru. "I'm so-" Shinji's apology was cut off when Minoru smashed a fist into the Third Child's jaw.
He barely flinched.
There were several gasps of astonishment from the crowd. This was Minoru, easily the biggest student in the school. Nobody had ever managed to keep standing after even one of his punches. Minoru was equally as perplexed as the multitude of students that surrounded the pair, and raised a hand for another punch to the scrawny Third Child.
The second punch hit Shinji directly in the chest, and he toppled over as searing pain coursed through his body. He suddenly felt as if all his energy had been drained from him. Blackness danced at the edges of his vision, and the Third Child gradually slipped into unconsciousness. The last thing he saw was a laughing Minoru Shimizu.
***
Touji was having a pleasant dream in his hospital bed, involving himself and Hikari, when he was jolted awake by the sound of someone entering his room. His eyes were still blurry from sleep, but he could still make out the pure white uniform of the nurse.
"Is that you, Nurse Yumi?" Touji croaked slowly. He was still very tired, and would have preferred a few more hours of sleep. When he received no answer, his muddled mind assumed she was just too wrapped up in her duties to notice. "How are you today? Did that date with your boyfriend go well? What am I saying, you got advice from me! Did you do what I told you to?"
By this time Touji's brain, though still weary, was registering that something was not quite right. The nurse was just standing over him, holding something shiny and muttering under her breath. He blinked rapidly to clear his tired eyes. "Nurse Yumi? What are you doing?"
Touji's vision cleared, and he finally realized that the person standing over him was not the nurse. "Who're yommmffhgh!" The woman put a hand over his mouth to silence his protests. He reached his only remaining arm up to fight her off, but she pinned that down with her elbow.
"Oh, heavenly father," the woman was whispering. "Please forgive this child for his transgressions against your messengers, and please bless his soul on its journey to the hereafter." She kissed the silver object that she was clutching, and Touji realized exactly what it was...
...A cross, with the bottom portion filed down to a sharp edge.
Touji didn't have time to scream as the woman buried the sharp edge of the cross deep within his heart. He watched her in mute disbelief as she took out a photo and tore it in two pieces. Then, she reached into her uniform and took out another picture. Just as Touji's vision was beginning to fade into darkness, he saw who was in that picture.
Shinji Ikari.
Then, Touji Suzuhara knew only the sweet nothingness of oblivion.
To be continued...
***
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Thus, the second chapter of the second version of Ascension sees the light. That was a fun chapter to write, for a number of reasons. One, I got to be mean to a bunch of characters, and two, I got to kill of somebody. Why Touji, you ask? Well, I really hate all those Touji/Asuka pairings, so I suppose this is my way of taking my petty revenge. Yeah, that'll do... *eyes shift back and forth evilly*
On a side note, it was surprisingly hard to write the part with Tokako. Not because I couldn't think of something mean to do, but I was hesitant to actually write it out. Weird. Now I have this urge to make Shinji apologize, and have them live happily ever after. I doubt that will happen though. I mean, would any girl ever even consider a boy after he did something like that? That's an interesting point. Alright, the question I send out to everyone who decides to write a review is this: Would you forgive Shinji?
Next chapter should be up soon! Ciao!