TITLE: Rick
AUTHOR: This Could Happen 2\4
E-MAIL: rsieber20012002@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: All the Buffy characters are owned by Josh Whedon and others.
SUMMARY: The Title...WARNING*** FOLLOWS TIMELINE OF SHOW MAJOR SPOILERS!!
Buffy doesn't know what to do. Why did Xander say those things to her? And he actually slapped her. She has to get Willow. The Red Head reluctantly goes with her up to the bedroom.
"Okay, Will, nothing sugar coated. What just happened here?"
Willow doesn't feel like getting into it. "Oh, Buffy.please?"
"I get the feeling it was something important and I missed it. Why was Xander like that? Why was he all angry and everything?"
Willow has been caring about no one but herself lately. Maybe she should tell Buffy what Xander is feeling. It's not like she doesn't know.
"First of all, Buffy, you hit Xander. I mean really hit him!"
"I know Will, I know I did, I'm sorry. He wouldn't let me say it to him."
"Buffy, he's right, why would you care about Xander finding someone?"
Buffy wasn't ready for this question. She was talking about the other stuff he said. She tries to change the subject.
"I'm talking about the other stuff, Willow."
"Buffy you hit Xander because you were upset about him going out with that woman."
Buffy doesn't know what to say. It was true.
"Willow, I have no idea why I got upset. He said it and.I don't know. All of a sudden I thought about the possibility of him not being here. It really scared me."
Willow doesn't know what to say either. Buffy has never really commented on Xander's love life before.
"Buffy, he has always been with somebody, Cordelia, Anya. It never bothered you before."
Buffy has to close her eyes. "I don't know why it bothered me.it didn't bother me I mean. It's just he always."
She doesn't finish. "He always what, Buffy?"
"Do you think he should be off with some woman while we.need him so.badly?"
As Buffy is saying these words something comes to her, something very disturbing. She sits down sighing.
Willow only stares.
"Willow, I know Xander hasn't really been involved with a lot of the events of the past few years. That I've tried to keep him out of them but.he was still always there. Even when I didn't see him or talk to him. I just knew.I knew he would show up if I really needed him, that he would.save me."
"So, now you think he won't?"
"I don't know. Did you see the look in his eyes when he said those things to me?"
"Yes I did, Buffy, and I have to say he looked pretty disgusted. And then you hit him, Buffy."
"Willow, do you believe what Dawn said, that Xander only slapped me so I wouldn't feel so guilty about hitting him? You know, so it would be we both hit each other?"
"Yea, Xander would do that."
"For me.even though I just hit him?"
"When I first got back from England Xander and I spent some time together talking about the slaying and his part in it. He was really worried about you. He feels you've changed and he doesn't even know you anymore."
"Why didn't you tell me that before, Willow?"
"Frankly Buffy I didn't think you'd care what he said. It's not like the three of us are, you know, like we were before."
"You honestly didn't think I would care what Xander thought about me? I thought he loved me and I was his hero and. how about what he said to the SIT about me."
"Buffy, they needed to hear that. They were starting to doubt you. He told them about the Buffy he knew.and loved."
The Slayer starts crying again. "But.but not the Buffy I am now?"
"Look, Buffy, what does he know anyway? He doesn't know about everything you feel and."
"Yes he does Willow, he knows all about me. He always has known what's going on inside me. If I blew it with him, Will."
"Buffy, when you say that what do you mean?"
"I don't know.I can't lose him, Willow I can't. I don't care how much it doesn't seem like I care about him. He has always been here for me. I'm so hung up on all this outside stuff and all this vampire with a soul stuff. Willow I'm telling you. I can't do any of this without him."
"Buffy, why now? Why did it take you this long to realize it. It's almost too late."
"Willow, I never told anybody this but when Xander didn't.I mean when he walked out on Anya. She blamed me. She said he couldn't love anybody else while I was around."
"Buffy, so much has happened, so many hard feelings. I hope it's not too late."
"What am I going to do, Willow?"
"Look, Buffy, if you really and truly want to patch it up with him you're going to have to do some things I don't think you're ready to do."
"You're scaring me now, like what?"
"All this business with Spike really, really bothers Xander."
"Because he's jealous like with Angel?"
"He might be jealous, Buffy, but it has to do more with what it does to you then who you sleep with."
This is a real revelation for Buffy. "Willow.I don't think I could do any of this stuff if Xander."
"If Xander, what Buffy?"
"If Xander doesn't.if he doesn't love.me."
Buffy starts whimpering. Willow confronts her. "Oh, Buffy, I wish you would have felt this way before."
"Willow, I did.I've always felt this way about.him."
"Maybe you did, Buffy, but you never told him. Come to think of it you never told me either." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xander is pissed off, and for good reason. But he is also relieved. He finally told Buffy what he thinks about her behavior these past few years. She needed to hear that. He may not be Spike or Angel or Riley but he knows Buffy as good as anyone. He knows what makes her Buffy Summers as well as what makes her Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That use to mean something to her, use to make him special in her life. Then she took the little trip to the dark side, the dark and gloomy side. That is not her, damn it, and it is going to lead to her defeat, and every one else's along with it! He's not going to back down from what he said and he's not going to stop seeing Patrice either. They have gotten very close. But she can tell his head or his heart is not with her tonight.
"Xander, what are you preoccupied with tonight, is it her?"
Xander is puzzled. "Ah, her.as in who?"
"Buffy?"
"What? How do you know about.Buffy?"
"You say her name, Xander."
"You mean when we're.you know?"
"No honey, not when we're making love. But you say her name in your sleep. Any time we fall asleep you say her name. I know whoever she is she is deep inside you Xander."
"Patrice, I am so sorry."
They walk in silence until Patrice breaks it. "Ah, Xander, this is the part where you tell me who she is and how she doesn't mean anything to you anymore."
All of a sudden trying to explain Buffy, especially after what happened today, seems way too complicated.
"Patrice I.she is."
When he can't even tell her about Buffy Patrice gets very sad. "I was afraid of that, Xander. I've gotten to know you Xander, even in your sleep I can tell she isn't just some fling you had in the past. She is deep inside of you, Xander."
Patrice begins to cry. Xander is heart broken. But how can he explain what Buffy is to him when he doesn't even know himself anymore.
All they can do is stare at each other in tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the meantime Buffy, Faith and Spike are out on patrol. Faith has got to find out what happened.
"So let me get this straight, B, Xander told you he's met another woman he likes and you called her a bimbo and attacked him in a jealous rage?"
Spike takes issue with this. "Bloody hell!"
"No, she did, she nailed him, broke the damned telephone table."
Spike turns to Buffy. "You hit Droopy.why?"
Faith answers for her. "I told you. He told her he has the hots for some other blonde and she saw red."
They both look to Buffy for her explanation. "Ah, could we move on to a more public conversation. My private life should not be."
"B, you did it in front of the whole house hold. You didn't care much about your privacy when you did it."
"Look, I don't know what that was, okay."
"It isn't very hard to figure out."
"And what does that mean, Faith?"
"Buffy, I tried to explain it to you before. The guy is always around. He's one of the good ones. The one thing nobody questions is whose side he's on."
"I know Faith, that's the problem. I don't know whether he's still on my side or not."
"Look, I don't even know if I can stay on your side but I do know Xander is not going anywhere. But if you're so worried about it make sure he doesn't."
"Which means?"
"Come on B you're a smart woman. He's always loved you."
In her own way Faith always has a way of making complicated things very simple. Why hasn't she ever turned to Xander? Spike can see Buffy's wheels spinning on that. He interrupts with his own answer.
"Yea but he's too dull. Buffy likes it rough."
This bothers Buffy greatly. No she doesn't. not really. Right now flashes of her old self come back. Her old self when she was strong and confident and completely on her game. And when something seemingly had the best of her there was always.Xander. She has to fight not to break down in tears in front of Faith and Spike. All of a sudden she doesn't seem to be comfortable with either of them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
Buffy doesn't know what to do. Why did Xander say those things to her? And he actually slapped her. She has to get Willow. The Red Head reluctantly goes with her up to the bedroom.
"Okay, Will, nothing sugar coated. What just happened here?"
Willow doesn't feel like getting into it. "Oh, Buffy.please?"
"I get the feeling it was something important and I missed it. Why was Xander like that? Why was he all angry and everything?"
Willow has been caring about no one but herself lately. Maybe she should tell Buffy what Xander is feeling. It's not like she doesn't know.
"First of all, Buffy, you hit Xander. I mean really hit him!"
"I know Will, I know I did, I'm sorry. He wouldn't let me say it to him."
"Buffy, he's right, why would you care about Xander finding someone?"
Buffy wasn't ready for this question. She was talking about the other stuff he said. She tries to change the subject.
"I'm talking about the other stuff, Willow."
"Buffy you hit Xander because you were upset about him going out with that woman."
Buffy doesn't know what to say. It was true.
"Willow, I have no idea why I got upset. He said it and.I don't know. All of a sudden I thought about the possibility of him not being here. It really scared me."
Willow doesn't know what to say either. Buffy has never really commented on Xander's love life before.
"Buffy, he has always been with somebody, Cordelia, Anya. It never bothered you before."
Buffy has to close her eyes. "I don't know why it bothered me.it didn't bother me I mean. It's just he always."
She doesn't finish. "He always what, Buffy?"
"Do you think he should be off with some woman while we.need him so.badly?"
As Buffy is saying these words something comes to her, something very disturbing. She sits down sighing.
Willow only stares.
"Willow, I know Xander hasn't really been involved with a lot of the events of the past few years. That I've tried to keep him out of them but.he was still always there. Even when I didn't see him or talk to him. I just knew.I knew he would show up if I really needed him, that he would.save me."
"So, now you think he won't?"
"I don't know. Did you see the look in his eyes when he said those things to me?"
"Yes I did, Buffy, and I have to say he looked pretty disgusted. And then you hit him, Buffy."
"Willow, do you believe what Dawn said, that Xander only slapped me so I wouldn't feel so guilty about hitting him? You know, so it would be we both hit each other?"
"Yea, Xander would do that."
"For me.even though I just hit him?"
"When I first got back from England Xander and I spent some time together talking about the slaying and his part in it. He was really worried about you. He feels you've changed and he doesn't even know you anymore."
"Why didn't you tell me that before, Willow?"
"Frankly Buffy I didn't think you'd care what he said. It's not like the three of us are, you know, like we were before."
"You honestly didn't think I would care what Xander thought about me? I thought he loved me and I was his hero and. how about what he said to the SIT about me."
"Buffy, they needed to hear that. They were starting to doubt you. He told them about the Buffy he knew.and loved."
The Slayer starts crying again. "But.but not the Buffy I am now?"
"Look, Buffy, what does he know anyway? He doesn't know about everything you feel and."
"Yes he does Willow, he knows all about me. He always has known what's going on inside me. If I blew it with him, Will."
"Buffy, when you say that what do you mean?"
"I don't know.I can't lose him, Willow I can't. I don't care how much it doesn't seem like I care about him. He has always been here for me. I'm so hung up on all this outside stuff and all this vampire with a soul stuff. Willow I'm telling you. I can't do any of this without him."
"Buffy, why now? Why did it take you this long to realize it. It's almost too late."
"Willow, I never told anybody this but when Xander didn't.I mean when he walked out on Anya. She blamed me. She said he couldn't love anybody else while I was around."
"Buffy, so much has happened, so many hard feelings. I hope it's not too late."
"What am I going to do, Willow?"
"Look, Buffy, if you really and truly want to patch it up with him you're going to have to do some things I don't think you're ready to do."
"You're scaring me now, like what?"
"All this business with Spike really, really bothers Xander."
"Because he's jealous like with Angel?"
"He might be jealous, Buffy, but it has to do more with what it does to you then who you sleep with."
This is a real revelation for Buffy. "Willow.I don't think I could do any of this stuff if Xander."
"If Xander, what Buffy?"
"If Xander doesn't.if he doesn't love.me."
Buffy starts whimpering. Willow confronts her. "Oh, Buffy, I wish you would have felt this way before."
"Willow, I did.I've always felt this way about.him."
"Maybe you did, Buffy, but you never told him. Come to think of it you never told me either." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xander is pissed off, and for good reason. But he is also relieved. He finally told Buffy what he thinks about her behavior these past few years. She needed to hear that. He may not be Spike or Angel or Riley but he knows Buffy as good as anyone. He knows what makes her Buffy Summers as well as what makes her Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That use to mean something to her, use to make him special in her life. Then she took the little trip to the dark side, the dark and gloomy side. That is not her, damn it, and it is going to lead to her defeat, and every one else's along with it! He's not going to back down from what he said and he's not going to stop seeing Patrice either. They have gotten very close. But she can tell his head or his heart is not with her tonight.
"Xander, what are you preoccupied with tonight, is it her?"
Xander is puzzled. "Ah, her.as in who?"
"Buffy?"
"What? How do you know about.Buffy?"
"You say her name, Xander."
"You mean when we're.you know?"
"No honey, not when we're making love. But you say her name in your sleep. Any time we fall asleep you say her name. I know whoever she is she is deep inside you Xander."
"Patrice, I am so sorry."
They walk in silence until Patrice breaks it. "Ah, Xander, this is the part where you tell me who she is and how she doesn't mean anything to you anymore."
All of a sudden trying to explain Buffy, especially after what happened today, seems way too complicated.
"Patrice I.she is."
When he can't even tell her about Buffy Patrice gets very sad. "I was afraid of that, Xander. I've gotten to know you Xander, even in your sleep I can tell she isn't just some fling you had in the past. She is deep inside of you, Xander."
Patrice begins to cry. Xander is heart broken. But how can he explain what Buffy is to him when he doesn't even know himself anymore.
All they can do is stare at each other in tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the meantime Buffy, Faith and Spike are out on patrol. Faith has got to find out what happened.
"So let me get this straight, B, Xander told you he's met another woman he likes and you called her a bimbo and attacked him in a jealous rage?"
Spike takes issue with this. "Bloody hell!"
"No, she did, she nailed him, broke the damned telephone table."
Spike turns to Buffy. "You hit Droopy.why?"
Faith answers for her. "I told you. He told her he has the hots for some other blonde and she saw red."
They both look to Buffy for her explanation. "Ah, could we move on to a more public conversation. My private life should not be."
"B, you did it in front of the whole house hold. You didn't care much about your privacy when you did it."
"Look, I don't know what that was, okay."
"It isn't very hard to figure out."
"And what does that mean, Faith?"
"Buffy, I tried to explain it to you before. The guy is always around. He's one of the good ones. The one thing nobody questions is whose side he's on."
"I know Faith, that's the problem. I don't know whether he's still on my side or not."
"Look, I don't even know if I can stay on your side but I do know Xander is not going anywhere. But if you're so worried about it make sure he doesn't."
"Which means?"
"Come on B you're a smart woman. He's always loved you."
In her own way Faith always has a way of making complicated things very simple. Why hasn't she ever turned to Xander? Spike can see Buffy's wheels spinning on that. He interrupts with his own answer.
"Yea but he's too dull. Buffy likes it rough."
This bothers Buffy greatly. No she doesn't. not really. Right now flashes of her old self come back. Her old self when she was strong and confident and completely on her game. And when something seemingly had the best of her there was always.Xander. She has to fight not to break down in tears in front of Faith and Spike. All of a sudden she doesn't seem to be comfortable with either of them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``