_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Interviews Season 3
by:
Kile Terro
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Kile is standing on top of a ladder trying to put lights on his house
animemaster is holding onto the ladder
Kile: Okay, move it a little bit to the right.
animemaster: To the left, right?
Kile: Right.
animemaster moves it to the left
Kile: No! To the right!
animemaster: Left, right? Right's left then.
Kile: Right!
animemaster moves it left
Kile: No! Go right!
animemaster: Right is right? Then left is left to go, right?
Kile: Right--I mean left--I mean right!
animemaster: South!
Kile: ...
A polar bear falls on Kile
Kile wakes up
Kile: Oh...it was all just a dream....
A polar bear holds it paw around him
Polar Bear: Come back to bed...
Kile: ???? Help me!
The intro to Nickelodeon's "Kenan and Kel" starts playing
Kalabora: Awwwww here it goes. Everybody out there go run and tell Santy and the elves, it's time for Interviews 3. It keeps ya laughing in the holidays, if it don't just kill the host. He's always screwing up something or getting laid. 7 staff and a sexually active old cat, Interviews 3 or should I say the third of Interviews? Well, Kile's always trying to run a good show for the gents and the ladies, but it's kinda in the middle because he's always gettin' shot, this ain't Nanoshi or The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, it's just Kile and the boys in your vicinity. Like The Late Show or The one Tonight. Spanish channel's clown's or Saint Nick. Somebody had ta type this, aww, here it goes, in the holiday-day-day-days.
THE SET
Kile: Kalabora...have ye been dipping into the cooking sherry?
*Just been having sex with girls named that...*
animemaster makes love to a picture of his girlfriend while Vicious makes love to a pic of his....a can of spam
ragnarock sits back with a dopey smile
ragnarock: Hi....hi....hi....hi....hi....hi....
Kile: As you know--
ragnarock: Hi....
Kile: *Ahem*As you know, Christmas time is upon us. So...here's....our......damn Christmas show.......ENJOY!!
Pyra and Deonaz enter and sit down in the audience
Kile: WOW!! Now that they're here we've just broken our record!
ragnarock: WHOA! He's right! This is the most we've ever had in the audience!
The audience only contains Pyra and Deonaz
Tenchy: ...But what about the first season's first chapte--
Kile slips back into depression
Kile: Not now...Kala, rag, let's go.
The three jump down into the audience
Kile: Enjoy workin', Tenchers.
Tenchy: Tenchers?? Like dentures?
Kalabora: I ain't goin' to my show today.
Kile: What're ya talkin' about??
Kalabora: I work enough here just to go to my set and make an ass out of myself there! I never get billing around here anyhow! I'm just asteriks!
Kile: I thin you went from complaining about one thing to another.
Kalabora: So do I, but whattaya expect, you're talking to one dude and in a chatroom at the same time as writing this!
Kile: Good point......
Female Ranma wearing a Mrs. Claus outfit comes out
Kile: ....If I didn't know for a fact she was really a he, I would think she was hot.
Deonaz: I KNOW she's a he and I still think she's hot!!
Everyone stares at Deonaz
Deonaz: .............What?
Ranma sits down
Tenchy: How're the holidays treatin' ya, Ranny?
Ranma: Not too well, always get lingerie from schoolboys.........
Deonaz holds up a sign reading "GIVE ME A BLOWJOB!!"
Kile: ......I do not KNOW this person...........
Tenchy: So.....Ranma, do you ever get that transformation problem worked out?
Ranma: Actually....
Ranma is drowed out by a parade
Ranma: Gotta go, bye.
Ranma leaves
All: .....That ALWAYS happens!
Kile: Oh, I'm not a trendy asshole, do what I want, do what I feel like......
I have had The Offspring's 1994 Smash album stuck in my head since Friday 20
Kalabora: I am not going to my show, and I've a feeling it'll be a long time.
Kile: When will the truth come into season? I've a feeling it'll be a long time.
The Cream Filling Conspiracy people run in
Kuja phases in
Kuja: Kuja-Kuja say, Vicious is a winky!
Vicious: SHOOOOOOOOOOOBISCUIT!!!!!!
Vicious smacks him with his 48 foot winky
Kuja: Kile! Pyra! Kuja-Kuja say we must leave to fight! Kuja-Kuja also say animemaster has much patience to type Kuja-Kuja so much!
Kuja phases away with Pyra, Kile, and the CFC cast
Tenchy: Riiiiiiight...
Keitaro, wearing a Santa suit, appears
Keitaro: Hi hi!
Tenchy: Keitaro! How's the holidays treating you?
Keitaro: WONDERFUL!! Love Hina Christmas Special has just been dubbed and released....and Ms.Otohime and I are in a Love Hotel! The writer hasn't seen it but he bets Narusegawa will bust in and stop Mutsumi and I......I wish I could bang both of them at once......
Kalabora: Earth to Keitaro!
Keitaro: ???
Kalabora: You've had your hand to your chin "hmmm"ing for 3 hours!
Tenchy: Who's our last victim?
Sephiroth, wearing a Mrs.Claus outfit, appears
animemaster: ???? Sephy?? You alright??
Sephiroth: I think my long hair through the people in the dressing room off.
animemaster: That'd make sense.......if it weren't for the fact there is no dressing room, you picked out your clothes for yourse--
Sephiroth: WEEEEEEEEEEEELLL, HOW'RE THINGS WITH YOU PEOPLE??
ALL: Fiiiiiine.....You?
Sephiroth: I'm doing good as well........except for the tightness around my testecles
Kalabora: ...........TESTE-KILES!!
Tenchy: So.....you been banging anyone lately?
Sephiroth: Actually, I've been dodging someone who wants to have sex with ME.
Tenchy: Ooooooh.....who?
Slash, the Bi-Sexual Bringer of Pudding, crashes in through a paper-thin wall
animemaster examines the paperous wall in disbelief
Sephiroth: HIM!!!!!!
Slash: I BRING YOU PUDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!
Kalabora: YOU SHUT THE FVCK UP!!!!!!
Kalabora grabs a firearm and shoots at him
Tenchy dodges each shot by simply turning his head
Tenchy: We would like to take this time to say......this cast is from Arkansas.......hence the overuse of firearms.......Slash isn't a member of the cast....Taron isn't either, are you Taron?
Taron has fallen asleep and the camera falls over
Kile comes crashing in through ANOTHER paperous wall
Apparently bruised and broken......from a head on collision
A madman with a gun comes in on a jeep
He fires at Kalabora, Kalabora dodges, as it goes by his ear he hears it's distinct noise
Kalabora: GET DOWN!!!!!!!
Everyone jumps to the floor as an explosion occurs where the bullet landed
Kalabora: It's a Deima shell...it's stronger than a diamon.....and more explosive power than Taco Bell food.
Kile: Well, he's not part of the story so I'm getting rid of him...
Kile takes a deep breath to regain his energies
Kile's eyes become more aware....he waits for him to come on a return trip....
He lunges at him
The gun is aimed straight at Kile's heart....in a split second, Kile is shot and is sent tumbling backwards across the studio.....he hits an actual wall
animemaster: That idiot WOULD hit a real one.
Kalabora: .........
The madman leaves hooting
Slash: Um......Is Kile alright?
animemaster: ......Kile? Woo-hoo? Kile?
No answer
Tenchy: Uncle Kile????????????
Taron shakes him
Taron: KILE!!!!!!!!!!
ragnarock: Would you like an orange soda, Kile?
No answer
Vicious: If you don't answer.........I'll beat you with my winky.
No answer
Kalabora: .....Oh, my freaking God....
Vicious beats Kile with his winky
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
STAFF ROOM
animemaster: Oh, shit, man........
Tenchy: This....can't be happening........
Kalabora: Kile-Kile? Where you go? Kile-Kile go bye bye??? NO!!!!!
ragnarock: Jesus........
Taron: I can't BELIEVE this!
Vicious: .....Sheet.
Mac: ......As much as I wanna bang someone.........the death of my grandson has struck me with unhealable grief......but that's never stopped me before!! WHOREHOUSE HERE I COME!!!!!!!
Mac leaves on a model train set
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE END
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Interviews Season 3
by:
Kile Terro
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Kile is standing on top of a ladder trying to put lights on his house
animemaster is holding onto the ladder
Kile: Okay, move it a little bit to the right.
animemaster: To the left, right?
Kile: Right.
animemaster moves it to the left
Kile: No! To the right!
animemaster: Left, right? Right's left then.
Kile: Right!
animemaster moves it left
Kile: No! Go right!
animemaster: Right is right? Then left is left to go, right?
Kile: Right--I mean left--I mean right!
animemaster: South!
Kile: ...
A polar bear falls on Kile
Kile wakes up
Kile: Oh...it was all just a dream....
A polar bear holds it paw around him
Polar Bear: Come back to bed...
Kile: ???? Help me!
The intro to Nickelodeon's "Kenan and Kel" starts playing
Kalabora: Awwwww here it goes. Everybody out there go run and tell Santy and the elves, it's time for Interviews 3. It keeps ya laughing in the holidays, if it don't just kill the host. He's always screwing up something or getting laid. 7 staff and a sexually active old cat, Interviews 3 or should I say the third of Interviews? Well, Kile's always trying to run a good show for the gents and the ladies, but it's kinda in the middle because he's always gettin' shot, this ain't Nanoshi or The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, it's just Kile and the boys in your vicinity. Like The Late Show or The one Tonight. Spanish channel's clown's or Saint Nick. Somebody had ta type this, aww, here it goes, in the holiday-day-day-days.
THE SET
Kile: Kalabora...have ye been dipping into the cooking sherry?
*Just been having sex with girls named that...*
animemaster makes love to a picture of his girlfriend while Vicious makes love to a pic of his....a can of spam
ragnarock sits back with a dopey smile
ragnarock: Hi....hi....hi....hi....hi....hi....
Kile: As you know--
ragnarock: Hi....
Kile: *Ahem*As you know, Christmas time is upon us. So...here's....our......damn Christmas show.......ENJOY!!
Pyra and Deonaz enter and sit down in the audience
Kile: WOW!! Now that they're here we've just broken our record!
ragnarock: WHOA! He's right! This is the most we've ever had in the audience!
The audience only contains Pyra and Deonaz
Tenchy: ...But what about the first season's first chapte--
Kile slips back into depression
Kile: Not now...Kala, rag, let's go.
The three jump down into the audience
Kile: Enjoy workin', Tenchers.
Tenchy: Tenchers?? Like dentures?
Kalabora: I ain't goin' to my show today.
Kile: What're ya talkin' about??
Kalabora: I work enough here just to go to my set and make an ass out of myself there! I never get billing around here anyhow! I'm just asteriks!
Kile: I thin you went from complaining about one thing to another.
Kalabora: So do I, but whattaya expect, you're talking to one dude and in a chatroom at the same time as writing this!
Kile: Good point......
Female Ranma wearing a Mrs. Claus outfit comes out
Kile: ....If I didn't know for a fact she was really a he, I would think she was hot.
Deonaz: I KNOW she's a he and I still think she's hot!!
Everyone stares at Deonaz
Deonaz: .............What?
Ranma sits down
Tenchy: How're the holidays treatin' ya, Ranny?
Ranma: Not too well, always get lingerie from schoolboys.........
Deonaz holds up a sign reading "GIVE ME A BLOWJOB!!"
Kile: ......I do not KNOW this person...........
Tenchy: So.....Ranma, do you ever get that transformation problem worked out?
Ranma: Actually....
Ranma is drowed out by a parade
Ranma: Gotta go, bye.
Ranma leaves
All: .....That ALWAYS happens!
Kile: Oh, I'm not a trendy asshole, do what I want, do what I feel like......
I have had The Offspring's 1994 Smash album stuck in my head since Friday 20
Kalabora: I am not going to my show, and I've a feeling it'll be a long time.
Kile: When will the truth come into season? I've a feeling it'll be a long time.
The Cream Filling Conspiracy people run in
Kuja phases in
Kuja: Kuja-Kuja say, Vicious is a winky!
Vicious: SHOOOOOOOOOOOBISCUIT!!!!!!
Vicious smacks him with his 48 foot winky
Kuja: Kile! Pyra! Kuja-Kuja say we must leave to fight! Kuja-Kuja also say animemaster has much patience to type Kuja-Kuja so much!
Kuja phases away with Pyra, Kile, and the CFC cast
Tenchy: Riiiiiiight...
Keitaro, wearing a Santa suit, appears
Keitaro: Hi hi!
Tenchy: Keitaro! How's the holidays treating you?
Keitaro: WONDERFUL!! Love Hina Christmas Special has just been dubbed and released....and Ms.Otohime and I are in a Love Hotel! The writer hasn't seen it but he bets Narusegawa will bust in and stop Mutsumi and I......I wish I could bang both of them at once......
Kalabora: Earth to Keitaro!
Keitaro: ???
Kalabora: You've had your hand to your chin "hmmm"ing for 3 hours!
Tenchy: Who's our last victim?
Sephiroth, wearing a Mrs.Claus outfit, appears
animemaster: ???? Sephy?? You alright??
Sephiroth: I think my long hair through the people in the dressing room off.
animemaster: That'd make sense.......if it weren't for the fact there is no dressing room, you picked out your clothes for yourse--
Sephiroth: WEEEEEEEEEEEELLL, HOW'RE THINGS WITH YOU PEOPLE??
ALL: Fiiiiiine.....You?
Sephiroth: I'm doing good as well........except for the tightness around my testecles
Kalabora: ...........TESTE-KILES!!
Tenchy: So.....you been banging anyone lately?
Sephiroth: Actually, I've been dodging someone who wants to have sex with ME.
Tenchy: Ooooooh.....who?
Slash, the Bi-Sexual Bringer of Pudding, crashes in through a paper-thin wall
animemaster examines the paperous wall in disbelief
Sephiroth: HIM!!!!!!
Slash: I BRING YOU PUDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!
Kalabora: YOU SHUT THE FVCK UP!!!!!!
Kalabora grabs a firearm and shoots at him
Tenchy dodges each shot by simply turning his head
Tenchy: We would like to take this time to say......this cast is from Arkansas.......hence the overuse of firearms.......Slash isn't a member of the cast....Taron isn't either, are you Taron?
Taron has fallen asleep and the camera falls over
Kile comes crashing in through ANOTHER paperous wall
Apparently bruised and broken......from a head on collision
A madman with a gun comes in on a jeep
He fires at Kalabora, Kalabora dodges, as it goes by his ear he hears it's distinct noise
Kalabora: GET DOWN!!!!!!!
Everyone jumps to the floor as an explosion occurs where the bullet landed
Kalabora: It's a Deima shell...it's stronger than a diamon.....and more explosive power than Taco Bell food.
Kile: Well, he's not part of the story so I'm getting rid of him...
Kile takes a deep breath to regain his energies
Kile's eyes become more aware....he waits for him to come on a return trip....
He lunges at him
The gun is aimed straight at Kile's heart....in a split second, Kile is shot and is sent tumbling backwards across the studio.....he hits an actual wall
animemaster: That idiot WOULD hit a real one.
Kalabora: .........
The madman leaves hooting
Slash: Um......Is Kile alright?
animemaster: ......Kile? Woo-hoo? Kile?
No answer
Tenchy: Uncle Kile????????????
Taron shakes him
Taron: KILE!!!!!!!!!!
ragnarock: Would you like an orange soda, Kile?
No answer
Vicious: If you don't answer.........I'll beat you with my winky.
No answer
Kalabora: .....Oh, my freaking God....
Vicious beats Kile with his winky
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
STAFF ROOM
animemaster: Oh, shit, man........
Tenchy: This....can't be happening........
Kalabora: Kile-Kile? Where you go? Kile-Kile go bye bye??? NO!!!!!
ragnarock: Jesus........
Taron: I can't BELIEVE this!
Vicious: .....Sheet.
Mac: ......As much as I wanna bang someone.........the death of my grandson has struck me with unhealable grief......but that's never stopped me before!! WHOREHOUSE HERE I COME!!!!!!!
Mac leaves on a model train set
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE END
_________________________________________________________________________________________________