CHAPTER 4:DAMMIT! DONT DOOOOOO THAT!
"So, how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?" Slippy asked a wasted Fox.
"Fuh, Fuh Three..... The answers always 3.......I need a compress..."Fox idly sat by, trying desperately to hold on to his last vestiges of conciousness. ::No! Musnt give in! Porn is three steps away! So is my blaster... I can kill that damn toad.....:: Slippy was oblivious to Fox's homicidal thoughts.
"Well, Silly Sally picked sea shells by the sea shore. But how many sea shells did she pick by the sand at the sea shore?" Fox looked at Slippy, then passed out. He started foaming at the mouth, which was followed by Peppy dragging him out of the room, three steps toward his bedroom.
"Slippy, have you been antagonizing Fox again? I told you, if you want to talk to someone, ring up Pepper!" Slippy looked down at his webbed feet, which oddly seemed to be very very VERY wet. He would have to talk to Peppy about......
"JESUS CHRIST SLIPPY I THOUGHT YOU FIXED THAT!!!!!"
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"Slippy, that's the last straw. Im throwing you out the air-lock! Nobody stop me! Im really going to do it!" Fox was still wasted. This left Peppy staring at some odd screen, which seemed to have some naked rabbits on it. ::That sick hare::
"Im really going to throw him out! Dont stop me!" Falco, obviously flustered by the crew's unwillingness, Threw Slippy out the air lock.
"FALCO! GO GET HIM!"
"Aw cmon!"
"GO GET HIM! He's the only one who can fix the arwings!"
"Razzinfrazzinbrickabrakinkissmytailfeathersoldsuchandsuch.........." Falo reluculantly went out and picked up an oxygen deprived Slippy. When he finally got back on the ship, and had finished resuscitating Slippy, he walked into the main room to see all the light's turned off.
"What the heck?" Falco turned on the lights to be greeted by a strange sight. Someone was sitting in the command chair, but it was turned around so he couldn't see it. Then the figure that had to be in the chair spoke.
"Do you think I'd forgotten Falco? Are you so foolish? It cant be helped now though. My Friend, your in for a world of pain and suffering. MWAHAHAHAAHAH" The figure turned around in the chair.
It was Fox!
"Yes Falco! It's me! The one who you farted on! But now, I will unleash something so horrible, so assinine, so FREAKY you wont be able to look at the world right ever again! BEHOLD!" Falco watched as the giant view screen turned into a movie screen. But a movie of what?
This possible torture was interrupted by the screen going into a white screen, heralding the immenint arrival of General Pepper on screen.
"Fox, what are you doing?" Fox hid the teletubbies tape behind his back.
"Fox, you just single handedly killed every last ounce of respect I ever even THOUHT about having for you."
"But It wasnt.."
"I dont care"
"But..."
"Shutup! Alright Starfox! Here's the deal! We appreciate your help at Sector Y, but we now have a new and very grave situation! Katina, our base of secret super duper cool operations, is about to be attacked by a large venomian ship, including a new weapon that we dont know about, your mission is to go there and defend our top secret super duper cool base! Understand?"
"But Pepper! It isnt what you think! Falco...."
"DAMNIT SHUTUP YOU NINCOMPOOP!"
.............................
Flying over the air space at katina, it seemed quiet and serene. There had been no sign of anything remotely resembling an enemy fleet.
"I need a hug." Fox looked at Falco. He had NEVER said anything like that before! What the hell? He then noticed that Falco was asleep. Oh. That's why. Fox commanded his team to fly down to the surface. They did this, and upon viewing the absolutely awesome battle before their eye's, they rembered that Pepper had said that the battle would be at the base, not in space.
"Oh. He he.... I forgot...."
"FOX!"
"FOX!"
"FOX!"
"FOX!" Wait a second! Fox counted on his digits. There were four members on the starfox team, so who was the fourth person who had yelled at him.
"Rob, did you just yell at me?"
"Affirmitave, you got a problem with it turkey?"
"No." Machines these days. Always gettin uppity. He would have to put that robot in his place later on.
"Anyway, guys, switch to all range mode!"
"Use the Brake! (Down (C) and (B)!)" Fox developed a small tick in his left eye. Homicidal thoughts dominated his mind. ::I better focus on this battle, or I may eat it...:: So the starfox team raced of blasting enemy units one after another. It was easy, simple, and utterly utterly futile, but hey, they were getting a kick out of it!
"Fox, that you?"
"Bill, Bill Grey?! BILL!"
"FOX!"
"BILL!"
"FOX!"
"YOU BASTARD YOU STILL OWE ME 15 BUCKS FROM THE ACADEMY!:
"How the hell did you remember that?!"
"Gimme my money!"
"Later!"
"NOW!!!!"
"Dude, we have like 15 bajillion units here, can we kill them and then get to your money?"
"Fine. But I want intrest!" Starfox and the cornerian army began their counter attack, annihilating every last iota of enemy troops from the area.
"We rock!"
"Yeah!"
"Woohoo!
"Where's my Money?"
"DOH!"
This was interrupted by a large rumbling rolling across the battle field like thunder.
"What the hell is that?" Exclaimed Peppy.
"It looks like the weapon that General Pepper was talking about!" How cool! Fox thought. If I take this down, I can get so many cool points! Thus started the last battle for Katina. The Mothership slowly approached the main katina base. All the while Fox and Co. were battling the seemingly endless waves of enemy fighters.
"When will they end?"
"Tommorow."
"Smart ass." The teams valiantly fought the enemy troops, fighting left and right to gain control of the field. The enemy fighters just kept going though. All of sudden Fox realized that the enemy mother ship was stationed directly over the Katina base.
"Everybody, can anyone tell me what the hell it's doing?" All of the ships in the area realized that the ship was actually going to do something, instead of just hovering over the base looking pretty.
"WAIT! I've seen this before! Have you guys ever seen that earthling film, 'Independence Day'? The ships gonna blast the base!"
"WHAT?"
"WHAT?"
"WHAT?"
"Law and Order?!" Fox looked at the ship, whose core had opened, and was now gathering a vast amount of energy into it.
"Well, lets just blast it, anybody got any smart-bombs left?" Judging by the silence, Fox assumed nobody had any.
"Great just Great!"Fox then heard somebody calling on his intercom.
"Hang on Mr. President! I've still got one! You get your boys outta here, I'll finish this!"
It was Bill coming valiantly to save them. Fox watched as Bill's ship flew toward the center of the ship.
"Target locked. Do I have clearance to take the shot?"
"TAKE THE FUGGIN SHOT!"
"Taking the shot!" Bill looked at his ships monitor. The bomb was stuck in the hold! He wasnt going to be able to fire it before it blew up taking him with it!::There's only one thing to do.:: Bill thought.
"Fox, take your team and get out of here! I'll finish this." Fox realized to late what that heroic, tragic, hound was going to do.....
The bastard ejected.
"YOU CHICKEN SHIT! YOU COULDA AT LEAST AIMED YOUR SHIP AT THE CORE!!!!"
The ensuing blast ripped through the Katina base, and nearly leveled the Star-fox team, leaving Fox with a severly damaged arwing, and a huge Bill for the ensuing damage that was caused to the base. Fox and his team limped back to the Great Fox, and then Fox remebered something... something that would torment him for the rest of his life.
"HE NEVER PAID ME BACK MY MONEY!!!"
Ahem. Rather rushed, but I was to busy downloading Naruto episodes. Well, I was going to take the independence day Idea and run with it, seeming how Katina was such a blatant rip off of it as to be farcical......But hey, you do what you can do. Hopefully this made it a little funnier. I know I get a chuckle out of reading it. Im thinking bout changing my style of humor a little bit, since the Irony in these stories is so prevalent. But hey, what can I say? Ill get to the next chapter, (Solar) Soon, but Im trying to figure out a way to get to Aquas and Zoness, Kat really needs to be here.Anyway, next chap will be up soon.