Title: The High Road
Part 1, Chapter 7
Author: Kalika
Rating: R, Adult Situations, Graphic Violence, Adult Language,
and Kalika's less than sane mind.
Authors Notes: Hey Minna! This chapter is basically Usagi trying to
get a handle on life. I'm dedicating this to a wonderful person named
Sharon who apparently is a fan. I love to hear that. It's not that I
consider myself that great of a person, but it's wonderful to hear
that people enjoy my writings. Sharon's favorite character is
Mamoru, so not only is this chapter dedicated to her, she's also
got a stand-alone Mamo-chan fic coming up.
Thanks Sharon, for your kind words and praises.
Standard Disclaimers apply
^__________________________________________________^;
(one biiiiiig sweatdrop)
"You don't understand this
I think you never did
Silently I search for a reason to exist
I've found a way to feel you
I feel so fucking old
You're burning up inside me
But I feel so fucking cold
You are clutched tight in my fingers
You caress my skin so light
You are welling up inside me
You have finally freed yourself
You are flowing 'cross my pale skin
You are running down my arm
You are salty as I taste you
I have finally made you warm
I have finally made you warm
You stare at me so silent
You stare at me so cold
I think you stare right through me
That stare has made me old
I've found a way to feel you
I feel so fucking old
You're burning up inside me
I feel so fucking cold
Take this ... as an offering
Take this ... as a sign
Take this ... as an offering
How much can you take from?
How much can you take from me?
Take from me
I sink into this darkness
I sink into this cold
This emptiness is calling
I've nothing left to lose
I've found a way to kill you
I feel so fucking cold
You're burning up inside me
I feel so fucking old
Take this ... as an offering
Take this ... as a sign
Take this ... as an offering
How much can you take from?
How much can you take from?
Take this ... as an offering
Take this ... as a sign
Take this ... as an offering
How much can you take from?
How much can you take from me?"
-Stabbing Westward "Ungod"
~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@
Kenji had done extensive searching for her parents' house in
the neighboring town. No longer did the Tsukinos live there.
"She's not stupid enough to go across the country. She's too
scared of being mugged. So, she has to be around here somewhere,"
he said to no one in particular, making Usagi sound like a small
animal lost by it's owner.
"Probably staying with one of her boyfriends." A crow outside
called out as the last murderous syllable was heard.
:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p
The Human Sciences building stood tall and imposing as Usagi
neared it. It stood as a reminder of what she had become. In her psychology
class she had learned human behaviors and the changes that the psyche
went through during times of trauma.
This was trauma.
This was heartache and pain, with a side order of self-loathing.
Usagi caught sight of Naru on the far side of the large marble
steps. "Naru!" she called out, attempting to sound happy to see her friend.
Naru caught on to what her mood really was and ran over.
"Usa! Hey!" Naru said, wary, but concerned as well. She hugged
Usagi and turned her motherly eyes on the frail woman-child. "What happened,
Usagi? What's wrong?"
'Damn that girl. Does everyone have to be so damned intuitive,' she
thought. Usagi nodded, but began to walk up the steps.
Naru followed. "Well?! What is it? Did something happen to Mamoru?
Is Shingo-onii-san alright? Ikuko-mama?" Usagi turned back and stared at her
friend.
"Much worse, Naru-chan. Much worse by far."
"Well?"
"Naru, remember what I told you about my last night with Kenji?" Usagi
asked, as she walked through the lobby of the building. Naru pointed the direction
to go and she nodded. "Well," Usagi continued,"seems, he wasn't too careful
about using... protection..." Usagi let the silence that followed make the rest of
her statement.
"Wait... you mean... and... he... you're... Goodness! Can I be Godmother?"
Usagi stopped walking toward the Psychology hall and stared at her
friend. "Naru, you mean you're not worried, you're not angry with Kenji, and
you want to be the Godmother?"
Naru blushed. "Well, I already know that you're going to be a good
mother, so I shouldn't be concerned for the well-being of the child, and Kenji
is an ass, so that pretty much speaks for itself. And if I can't be Godmother,
can I be an aunt?"
Usagi laughed. "I should have known that my best friend would
see the good and not the bad."
"Usagi, I hate to break your little reverie, but what are you going
to tell..."
"Mamo-chan?" Usagi supplied.
Naru raised her eyebrow. "Yeah, uh, Mamo-chan... you call him
Mamo-chan?"
Usagi's turn to blush came quickly. "Uh, well, I don't know what
I'm going to tell him, but Mama is sure that he's going to be secure with
it and still want to be a part of my life." She finished the statement so
quickly that Naru had to listen extra attentively.
"Yeah...what the hell kind of name is Mamo-chan?!"
The girls laughed as they entered the lecture hall.
:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p
The girls arrived at Usagi's house drained and starved. The search
for a job went well enough, Usagi getting the position as the Dean of Human
Sciences' assistant. That left her with three days a week off and enough
money to help with bills and buy herself things.
As they walked in, Ikuko looked out from the kitchen doorway. She
smiled at the picture the girls made. She snapped them back to reality soon
enough, though. "Usagi, Naru, would you help me with dinner?"
"Ikuko-mama!" Naru greeted her surrogate mother. Her real mother
had died when she was seven, and Ikuko filled in the position gladly, if only
to ease the girl's suffering and be someone she could look up to.
"Naru, how is school?" Ikuko asked after a hug from the small
redhead.
"Tiring, but it's worth it, I say." Usagi grinned and told her mother
the wonderful news about a job.
"And the Dean says that when I get too big to walk around so much
I'll be able to stay home and work from here, grading papers and such."
Ikuko smiled, "That's wonderful, Usagi. I'm glad you're getting on
your feet." It seemed to Ikuko that Usagi was more the ready to accept her
role as a mother. She was willing, it seemed, as well.
Naru grinned gleefully, "She says I can be the Godmother."
Ikuko shared in the grin and finished putting dinner in the oven. She
thanked the girls and then sent them to get ready for dinner.
As they ascended the steps, Naru looked at Usagi, and noted the
rather green tinge to her face. "Usagi, why don't you go to the bathroom and
shower first and I'll find you something nice to wear."
Usagi glanced at Naru gratefully and ran to the bathroom, lunch
quickly revisiting.
'Poor Usagi,' Naru thought.
:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p
About halfway through the evening, Usagi made the announcement.
"Mamoru, I want to thank you for the lovely evening the other
night and I wanted you to know something. My mother and Naru-chan already
know, and I thought you should know, so you could decide whether you want
to continue this."
Mamoru gazed at the beautiful, yet skittish blonde before him. Ikuko
quickly cleared the table and Usagi escorted Mamoru into the den.
"Usako, is something wrong?" Usagi blushed deeply at the affection.
"Mamoru, I'd like to tell you about my past." Mamoru nodded and
sat, holding her hand in his.
"I might as well start from First Year," she started, referring to her
High School. "I met the most wonderful guy, who stuck up for me when I
was being bullied for my most unusual hairstyle..." she began the tale
that left her feeling drained and crying.
Mamoru hugged her and let her sob into his neatly pressed white
shirt. "Usako, you're safe with me. I know you're afraid he'll find you and
hurt you, but I'm here to protect you." At Usagi's hesitant nod, he
continued, "Usako, what was the ews you had?"
"The night before I left him... I had been out, helping my friend
and had gotten home late. He had gotten home extremely early, and was
waiting for me when I got there. I walked in and remember him standing
up. That was about all I remember." Mamoru squeezed her hand reassuringly.
"When I woke up the next day, I found that he had raped me. This morning,
I found out that he hadn't been all too careful about it either." Usagi ended
with a sob.
Mamoru held her once more. "Usagi, are you saying that you're
pregnant by that bastard?" When she nodded, Mamoru smoothed her hair
down. "Usako, I will not let him hurt you or your child. There's no reason
your child has to know who it's true father is, and grow up in the same
problematic fashion. Your child can be better than that."
Usagi's tears subsided eventually and she stood. "Mamoru, I
understand if you don't want to see me anymore. I just thought it right
to tell you, before you got too involved with me."
Mamoru laughed and stood as well. "Usako, I was involved
as soon as I met you. I wouldn't dream of leaving you like this. That's
not who I am. I'll always be here for you."
Usagi squeaked happily and launched herself into Mamoru's
waiting arms. "Thank you for saying that, Mamo-chan!!"
Mamoru and Usagi stayed like that until Usagi's stomach
rumbled slightly. Mamoru looked up at the clock. "No wonder you're
hungry again, we've been in here for an hour. And remember, you
have to eat more, you're eating for two now."
A snort from the doorway signalled the entrance of Naru.
"Eat MORE?! From what I remember of this girl in high school, she
could out-eat the entire football team, right after a game!"
~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@
Part 1, Chapter 7
Author: Kalika
Rating: R, Adult Situations, Graphic Violence, Adult Language,
and Kalika's less than sane mind.
Authors Notes: Hey Minna! This chapter is basically Usagi trying to
get a handle on life. I'm dedicating this to a wonderful person named
Sharon who apparently is a fan. I love to hear that. It's not that I
consider myself that great of a person, but it's wonderful to hear
that people enjoy my writings. Sharon's favorite character is
Mamoru, so not only is this chapter dedicated to her, she's also
got a stand-alone Mamo-chan fic coming up.
Thanks Sharon, for your kind words and praises.
Standard Disclaimers apply
^__________________________________________________^;
(one biiiiiig sweatdrop)
"You don't understand this
I think you never did
Silently I search for a reason to exist
I've found a way to feel you
I feel so fucking old
You're burning up inside me
But I feel so fucking cold
You are clutched tight in my fingers
You caress my skin so light
You are welling up inside me
You have finally freed yourself
You are flowing 'cross my pale skin
You are running down my arm
You are salty as I taste you
I have finally made you warm
I have finally made you warm
You stare at me so silent
You stare at me so cold
I think you stare right through me
That stare has made me old
I've found a way to feel you
I feel so fucking old
You're burning up inside me
I feel so fucking cold
Take this ... as an offering
Take this ... as a sign
Take this ... as an offering
How much can you take from?
How much can you take from me?
Take from me
I sink into this darkness
I sink into this cold
This emptiness is calling
I've nothing left to lose
I've found a way to kill you
I feel so fucking cold
You're burning up inside me
I feel so fucking old
Take this ... as an offering
Take this ... as a sign
Take this ... as an offering
How much can you take from?
How much can you take from?
Take this ... as an offering
Take this ... as a sign
Take this ... as an offering
How much can you take from?
How much can you take from me?"
-Stabbing Westward "Ungod"
~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@
Kenji had done extensive searching for her parents' house in
the neighboring town. No longer did the Tsukinos live there.
"She's not stupid enough to go across the country. She's too
scared of being mugged. So, she has to be around here somewhere,"
he said to no one in particular, making Usagi sound like a small
animal lost by it's owner.
"Probably staying with one of her boyfriends." A crow outside
called out as the last murderous syllable was heard.
:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p
The Human Sciences building stood tall and imposing as Usagi
neared it. It stood as a reminder of what she had become. In her psychology
class she had learned human behaviors and the changes that the psyche
went through during times of trauma.
This was trauma.
This was heartache and pain, with a side order of self-loathing.
Usagi caught sight of Naru on the far side of the large marble
steps. "Naru!" she called out, attempting to sound happy to see her friend.
Naru caught on to what her mood really was and ran over.
"Usa! Hey!" Naru said, wary, but concerned as well. She hugged
Usagi and turned her motherly eyes on the frail woman-child. "What happened,
Usagi? What's wrong?"
'Damn that girl. Does everyone have to be so damned intuitive,' she
thought. Usagi nodded, but began to walk up the steps.
Naru followed. "Well?! What is it? Did something happen to Mamoru?
Is Shingo-onii-san alright? Ikuko-mama?" Usagi turned back and stared at her
friend.
"Much worse, Naru-chan. Much worse by far."
"Well?"
"Naru, remember what I told you about my last night with Kenji?" Usagi
asked, as she walked through the lobby of the building. Naru pointed the direction
to go and she nodded. "Well," Usagi continued,"seems, he wasn't too careful
about using... protection..." Usagi let the silence that followed make the rest of
her statement.
"Wait... you mean... and... he... you're... Goodness! Can I be Godmother?"
Usagi stopped walking toward the Psychology hall and stared at her
friend. "Naru, you mean you're not worried, you're not angry with Kenji, and
you want to be the Godmother?"
Naru blushed. "Well, I already know that you're going to be a good
mother, so I shouldn't be concerned for the well-being of the child, and Kenji
is an ass, so that pretty much speaks for itself. And if I can't be Godmother,
can I be an aunt?"
Usagi laughed. "I should have known that my best friend would
see the good and not the bad."
"Usagi, I hate to break your little reverie, but what are you going
to tell..."
"Mamo-chan?" Usagi supplied.
Naru raised her eyebrow. "Yeah, uh, Mamo-chan... you call him
Mamo-chan?"
Usagi's turn to blush came quickly. "Uh, well, I don't know what
I'm going to tell him, but Mama is sure that he's going to be secure with
it and still want to be a part of my life." She finished the statement so
quickly that Naru had to listen extra attentively.
"Yeah...what the hell kind of name is Mamo-chan?!"
The girls laughed as they entered the lecture hall.
:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p
The girls arrived at Usagi's house drained and starved. The search
for a job went well enough, Usagi getting the position as the Dean of Human
Sciences' assistant. That left her with three days a week off and enough
money to help with bills and buy herself things.
As they walked in, Ikuko looked out from the kitchen doorway. She
smiled at the picture the girls made. She snapped them back to reality soon
enough, though. "Usagi, Naru, would you help me with dinner?"
"Ikuko-mama!" Naru greeted her surrogate mother. Her real mother
had died when she was seven, and Ikuko filled in the position gladly, if only
to ease the girl's suffering and be someone she could look up to.
"Naru, how is school?" Ikuko asked after a hug from the small
redhead.
"Tiring, but it's worth it, I say." Usagi grinned and told her mother
the wonderful news about a job.
"And the Dean says that when I get too big to walk around so much
I'll be able to stay home and work from here, grading papers and such."
Ikuko smiled, "That's wonderful, Usagi. I'm glad you're getting on
your feet." It seemed to Ikuko that Usagi was more the ready to accept her
role as a mother. She was willing, it seemed, as well.
Naru grinned gleefully, "She says I can be the Godmother."
Ikuko shared in the grin and finished putting dinner in the oven. She
thanked the girls and then sent them to get ready for dinner.
As they ascended the steps, Naru looked at Usagi, and noted the
rather green tinge to her face. "Usagi, why don't you go to the bathroom and
shower first and I'll find you something nice to wear."
Usagi glanced at Naru gratefully and ran to the bathroom, lunch
quickly revisiting.
'Poor Usagi,' Naru thought.
:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p
About halfway through the evening, Usagi made the announcement.
"Mamoru, I want to thank you for the lovely evening the other
night and I wanted you to know something. My mother and Naru-chan already
know, and I thought you should know, so you could decide whether you want
to continue this."
Mamoru gazed at the beautiful, yet skittish blonde before him. Ikuko
quickly cleared the table and Usagi escorted Mamoru into the den.
"Usako, is something wrong?" Usagi blushed deeply at the affection.
"Mamoru, I'd like to tell you about my past." Mamoru nodded and
sat, holding her hand in his.
"I might as well start from First Year," she started, referring to her
High School. "I met the most wonderful guy, who stuck up for me when I
was being bullied for my most unusual hairstyle..." she began the tale
that left her feeling drained and crying.
Mamoru hugged her and let her sob into his neatly pressed white
shirt. "Usako, you're safe with me. I know you're afraid he'll find you and
hurt you, but I'm here to protect you." At Usagi's hesitant nod, he
continued, "Usako, what was the ews you had?"
"The night before I left him... I had been out, helping my friend
and had gotten home late. He had gotten home extremely early, and was
waiting for me when I got there. I walked in and remember him standing
up. That was about all I remember." Mamoru squeezed her hand reassuringly.
"When I woke up the next day, I found that he had raped me. This morning,
I found out that he hadn't been all too careful about it either." Usagi ended
with a sob.
Mamoru held her once more. "Usagi, are you saying that you're
pregnant by that bastard?" When she nodded, Mamoru smoothed her hair
down. "Usako, I will not let him hurt you or your child. There's no reason
your child has to know who it's true father is, and grow up in the same
problematic fashion. Your child can be better than that."
Usagi's tears subsided eventually and she stood. "Mamoru, I
understand if you don't want to see me anymore. I just thought it right
to tell you, before you got too involved with me."
Mamoru laughed and stood as well. "Usako, I was involved
as soon as I met you. I wouldn't dream of leaving you like this. That's
not who I am. I'll always be here for you."
Usagi squeaked happily and launched herself into Mamoru's
waiting arms. "Thank you for saying that, Mamo-chan!!"
Mamoru and Usagi stayed like that until Usagi's stomach
rumbled slightly. Mamoru looked up at the clock. "No wonder you're
hungry again, we've been in here for an hour. And remember, you
have to eat more, you're eating for two now."
A snort from the doorway signalled the entrance of Naru.
"Eat MORE?! From what I remember of this girl in high school, she
could out-eat the entire football team, right after a game!"
~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@~~~~~@