CHAPTER 4

Just then she jumped in her bed. She opened her eyes to find she was alone again in their bed. She was almost upset that she had been dreaming because, she thought for a while she was back with Cole.

That morning Levi was going to pick her up early. It seemed important that he talked to her early, because he lost his nerve the night before, and he had something to tell her. Phoebe was sitting at her vanity stand in her satin robe, looking on the mirror. She looked at her reflection with a blank stare, thinking about her dream. Then she picked up the brush to comb her long hair.

"No more sadness Phoebe" she said aloud to herself. "This is unhealthy for you and your child."

Just then she heard a knock at her door while it was being opened.

"Levi! I guess I lost track of time." She said surprised to see him.

"It's ok darlin', I'm a little early, but I couldn't wait to see you. Gwen let me in… I hope that's ok?"

She smiled and said, "Of course, I'm sorry, I just didn't get much sleep last night…Forgive me for being so rude."

He went to her without answering and slid her robe off from her sholders, then picking her up cradled in his arms and laid her on the bed, never taking his eyes from her beautiful naked body. It was always strange to Phoebe how he went from Gwen to her. Gwen was attractive and wild and all the men wanted her. There was something reckless about her that all the men were drawn to, so she never knew why he wanted her over Gwen. Then again, Phoebe was dazed at the time she finally met Levi, because Gwen introduced them soon after Cole was gone. She knew Cole had never got the chance to meet him, because Gwen always kept the men she was seeing away from the house. She was admiring how handsome he was. He had dark curly hair and blue eyes, but they never reached her soul the way Cole's would when he looked at her. Though he looked similar, he wasn't the same as Cole, no matter how hard she tried to make him be. Phoebe thought that might have been what attracted her in the first place. He was small but mighty, and he was handsome in his own way.

"I need you so bad Phoebe," he said as he kissed her neck, and worked himself inside of her.

Phoebe held back for a minute and then she gave in. Even though she didn't love Levi, she also had desires. But Cole was the one she thought of when Levi and her were together. She tried not to be that way, but she couldn't help it. She convinced herself to make an effort with Levi, but her love was for Cole, and him alone.

"You feel so good Phoebe! I want to be with you forever."

Levi felt Phoebe's pleasure under him, and it thrilled him. It made him feel good inside, as he did every time Phoebe was with him. She made him feel like a real man and he forgot his intentions.

"He said you liked it like this doll."

At first Levi didn't realize what he just said, but then he heard his words and sighed heavily in regret. Phoebe's eyes were wide open now, and he felt her tense when she stopped moving.

"What!" She said as she faced him straight on.

"Phoebe please…I'm sorry I meant…"

But his plea was too late, and he couldn't take back what he said. He looked down at her, not knowing what would happen next.

"Answer me Levi, who said?"

Levi got up off her slowly and pulled his pants up, then sat on the edge of the bed, so sorry at what he said. She never looked way from him, as she eyed him coldly. Her heart was beating so hard as she anticipated what Levi was going to say.

"Answer me! Please! Its important." she begged him with frustration in her eyes.

"Randolph." He said after a moment, as he hung his head in shame.

Phoebe jumped off the bed and grabbed her robe rapping it around her like she was exstremely violated.

"Does he know where I am," she asked in a scared but calm voice. "Answer me you coward!" this time almost screaming.

"Yes, but there is something more than that…. It's about your husband." He said scrambling for words.

"Cole! Is he alive? What did Abe do to him, and you…you …sick …bastard! Was this fun? Was this fun for you? Answer me! You piece of shit!"

Phoebe's flooded questioning ended, as her next thoughts were for the safety of her daughter. She ran into her daughter's room and scooped her up, leaving no thought to Levi.

"Gwen! Gwen! Come in here now!" Phoebe yelled as she grabbed a small suitcase, that was stashed under the girl's bed and started stuffing it as fast as she could. Dallas had her legs and arms around Phoebe so tight now, and Phoebe realized she was scaring her daughter. She sat on the bed and peeled Dallas from her neck as she sat her down on her lap.

"It's going to be ok baby, mama's just playing hide and seek!" Phoebe tried to say in an enthusiastic voice.

"Remember how we play that game?" Phoebe's voice was trembling and she was shaking.

Dallas looked up with her big tear shaped eyes.

"Remember how we play hide and seek?" Phoebe said focusing on her daughter.

Dallas nodded yes to Phoebe's questioning. Phoebe looked up and met eyes with Gwen who was standing in the doorway.

"What is going on Phoebe?"

Gwen knew something was very wrong because of the way she over heard Phoebe talking to Dallas, and Gwen saw the fear in Phoebe's eyes. Phoebe didn't answer her question; instead she stood up with Dallas around her neck and walked to Gwen.

"Take her and pack your stuff we are leaving!" Phoebe said in a very flat voice. Gwen took Dallas from her.

"Where are you going?" Gwen asked.

"He found us Gwen!" Phoebe shot back at Gwen.

Gwen's stomach dropped and her heart started racing, as she never took her eyes from Phoebe.

"I have something to take care of Gwen." Phoebe headed for a drawer in the hallway chest and unlocked it with a small key. Gwen knew what was in the drawer and watched Phoebe pull a small handgun from the drawer.

"Phoebe what the hell is going on, tell me this instant!" Gwen demanded. Phoebe walked by her again and headed back to her bedroom.

Gwen stood holding Dallas at the end of the hallway staring at Phoebe. She was feeling weak at the knees. Her face turned white, and she started to say something but Phoebe stopped her.

"Gwen please, do as I ask, I will explain in the car." Before Gwen could speak, Phoebe had entered her bedroom where she left Levi and shut the door.

Gwen knew what Phoebe told her was serious. Abe had found them. But how? Gwen hurried to her room with Dallas and tried to calm down as she threw some clothes in a suitcase.

In Phoebe's bedroom, Levi sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He was too ashamed to look at Phoebe who was now pressing her back against the inside of the door holding the gun tight in her hand. Levi heard a "click" and he knew that sound. He slowly raised his face from his hands and stared at Phoebe not sure of what was going to happen next. Phoebe now had the gun aimed straight at Levi's head, and she had fire coming from her eyes.

"Start talking Levi, I need some answers." She tried to stay as calm as possible.

"Phoebe I…. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that!"

Levi was referring to his slip of the tougue in bed, when Phoebe interrupted.

"I don't care about that, you son of a bitch, I want to know about Cole! Does Abe have him? Where is he?" Phoebe could have went on with her questions but Levi spoke up,

"He's alive Phoebe, and Abe is having him drugged because his men could not contain him any more. Abe said if you don't come, he will kill him."

"How long has Abe had him? And why you? Why did he send you?" Phoebe said with disgust, figuring out that Levi worked for Abe.

Then it dawned on her that when Cole disappeared, that was when Levi made his move for her. And that is why he chose to be with Phoebe instead of Gwen.

"Well, those men that came to your door to tell you about your husband, they worked for Randolph. First Abe was going to kill your Cole, but when he found out how much you meant to your husband he decided to play this game. I guess he thought it would be worse for you, if you thought your husband was possibly still alive, then he sent me. But Phoebe, I was not suppose to fall in love with you, and now that I have…"

"Stop right there," Phoebe interrupted shaking her head with discust.

His words were so appalling it made her so sick, she thought she would vomit right then. She held her head as it started to spin, and slowly slid down the door to sit. Levi came to her, and before he could touch her, Phoebe raised the gun between his eyes.

"Don't move, or I will blow you to the other side of the room," She whispered in a hoarse teary voice.

Levi stopped at her warning and saw hate through her tears. She was always so soft and warm, this new Phoebe scared him.

"Just to clear something for you," she said with a crack in her voice.

"I never loved you, you were never the man I wanted, you were only a safety net for Dallas and me. So before you think you are worthy to talk of love, you should know that!" She tearfully spat.

Phoebe coldly stared at Levi as she could see him sink back at her words. She wondered why he was wiling to offer this information now, because what she knew Abe's men, and they would have took the bullet before even thinking of talking. But she also believed that Levi had fallen for her, and she knew love makes you do strange things.

"Phoebe, I was suppose to tell you about your husband but," Levi hung his head and finished, " not the way I did, that was sick, I'm sorry."

"So did you enjoy sharing sex stories with Abe about me?" Phoebe said sarcastically, "I bet you guys told each other everything didn't you? Well did he tell you how I used to…?"

Phoebe couldn't finish; she was so sick at this thought, and at the thought of Cole suffering for three years, while she thought she was the one who struggled to stay alive.

"It wasn't like that Phoebe and besides I want to help you."

Phoebe looked at him and snapped, "Oh that is noble of you, you sick bastard! But yes you are going to help me, you owe me at least that, and if you don't…"

Levi stopped her.

"I'll help you, I need to do this to feel human again…you made me feel…. Phoebe you changed me, and I understand what it means to love, even if you don't think I do, I want you to be as happy as you made me, and if that means you being with someone else than so be it."

Levi sat and watched Phoebe, he was not surprised to see the hurt in her eyes, but she was too angry at the same time. It hurt Levi to lie to her for so long but he felt stuck, and even though he wanted to tell her many times, he didn't know where to start.