"Psst.  Hey, Bruce."

                "Don't whisper, Clark.  The battery in my hearing aid is running low."

                Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne were now residents of the Superhuman Retirement Living Center for the Elderly and Disabled Champions of the Law.  Super-quality care for the superheroes of yesteryear.  Bruce called it 'The Super-Old-Folk's-Home.'

                Clark moved one of his checker pieces.  "Does that look like Luthor over there?  Sure looks like Luthor to me.  Same face, same eyes.  I mean, I could be wrong..."

                Bruce took five of Clark's pieces in one move.  "Clark, shut up.  Don't go senile on me like John."  Bruce leaned over and spied a bald man on a walker with a nurse at each side.  "Darn.  It is Luthor.  How did he get here?"

                "Same as you, I suppose.  Paid the extra non-superpower fee?"

                Wally West was in the same room as Bruce and Clark.  The ex-Flash was now wheelchair bound with an IV that he had to drag around everywhere.  "Great.  Wait till Shayera and John find out."

                Bruce shook his head.  "Uh, John doesn't remember Luthor.  He keeps on confusing him with J'onn."

                Wally shrugged.  "Well, considering they're both bald, I can see that..."

                The nurses left Luthor.  "Hey guys."

                "Hello Luthor," said the three men.

                Luthor sat down in front of Bruce and Clark.  Clark had only two pieces left.  He sighed.  Once again, the World's Greatest Detective was going to win the day.  Clark had already lost his supply of prunes, five cans of Ensure, and a box of denture glue to Bruce.  The only thing he had of value left was a half-full bag of diapers.  Luthor leaned closer.  "Do I get to play next?"

                "Uh...no," said Clark.  "It's Wally's turn next."  Wally never played checkers, but there was no way they were going to let Luthor play.

                One of the nurses rolled an unconscious John Stewart into the lobby, a few feet away from Clark's chair.  "Mr. Stewart is having the appendix surgery in a few minutes.  I'll leave him here for now."

                Luthor turned his attention back to the game.  Wally pushed his wheelchair closer to the board.  "Back off, jerk."

                "Why is it you superheroes always have to ruin my fun," Luthor wheezed.  "Even at eighty-five!  No matter.  I thought I would get this kind of treatment here.  That's why I came prepared."

                Luthor reached into his jacket pocket.  Clark's heart stop for a moment.  He thought Luthor was going to pull out some Kryptonite.  But it was just a candy bar.  A king-size Three Musketeers.  Clark's pacemaker started up again in relief.  But Bruce winced-he had a pretty good idea what that diabolical candy bar was for.

                Luthor took a giant bite out of the candy bar, swallowed, and tossed the rest into Wally's lap.  "Nurse!"  Three nurses rushed in and asked Luthor what was wrong.  "This man here-is he allowed to have sugar?"

                "Oh my—Mr. West has eaten chocolate!"

                "I'll get the doctor!"

                "Help me roll him into the emergency room.  We're going to have to pump his stomach and flush out his gut."

                Wally was dumbfounded.  Then it hit him.  "Pump my...oh no!  Wait!  It's a mistake!  I wasn't eating this!  Hey, get your hands off my chair!  Clark, Bruce, please help me...hey, stop this chair now!  I'm not going anywhere!"

                Wally reached out with his hands and gripped the sides of the door.  The nurses pulled and pushed, but Wally would not let himself leave the living room.  This lasted about eight minutes, until one of the nurses got the idea of tickling Wally.  One hand lost its grip and the wheelchair creaked forward.  Bruce and Clark watch in mute horror as the pinkie, than the ring finger, than the middle finger, and at last the index finger fell from sight.

                In the hallway, Wally could still be heard, moaning.  "One down," said Luthor, grinning.  "Anyone else game?"

                Shayera entered the room.  She had Hubert, her parakeet, in her hand as she sat down on the sofa.  The bird was so enthralling to the Thanagarian that it took her two minutes to realize one of her old enemies was sitting across the room from her.  Shayera hissed.  "Luthor."  Even Hubert hissed.  Of course, he was only a parakeet, so it sounded more like a coo.

                "My, are we the little guttersnipe.  What happened to you wings?  Did you battle a giant hedge clipper and lose?"

                "They fell out."

                "Ah, yes, well, I suppose they're worse things than being bald."

                Shayera was ready to claw at Luthor when the chief male nurse came by.  "Now, Miss Hol, are we being to feisty again?"

                Shayera looked as though she was going to throw up.  "Now, what about your behavior?  We said you could come out if you promised to behave.  Than means no throwing of any objects, no threatening, and no summoning huge flocks of birds to poop on my Yugo—got it?  Or it's back to the Anger-management class for you, missy."

                Shayera relaxed back in the car.  "Fine.  If I can't make war, I'll rot my brain on TV."  She grabbed the remote and began watching Animal Planet.  There was a documentary on Easter-Atlantic Pale-bellied Swallows.  "And after the chicks are born, life becomes hectic for both parents as they struggle to feed—"

                "—And here were Congressmen Jones speaking on behalf of the committee..."

                Luthor had changed it to CNN.  "Hubert and I were watching that other show!"

                "Do I look like I care?"

                Shayera grabbed the remote and switched it back to the nature show.  "The hatchlings require five times their own body weight in food each day—"

                "—Jones hasn't spoken with the press in over two weeks..."

                This was too much for Shayera.  She got up-slowly, mind you—and then tried to get a grip on Luthor's neck.  Instantly two nurses grabbed her by the arms and pulled her away.  Shayera was foaming at the mouth.  "I'll get you for this..."

                One of the nurses pressed a syringe into Shayera's arm.  Her eyes fluttered for a moment, and then she went limp.  Hubert whistled sadly and followed the nurses as they dragged his mistress back to her cage.

                Bruce swore at Luthor.  "Why'd you go and do that for?  Listen here, Luthor—you don't scare me.  You can cry all you want, but when you start to mess with my friends, that makes me angry..."

                "You threatening me?  I'm shaking in my Dependables."  And nurse came by to straighten up the magazines.  As she left, Luthor slapped her rear.  Hard.  She leaped about five feet in the air, than spun around.  Luthor was ready.  He was looking a Bruce funny, with a mock grin.  "Gee Bruce, don't even bother about being discreet about it."

                The nurse's eyes narrowed.  "Mr. Wayne!  You've slapped my rear for the last time!"  And sure enough, Bruce was dragged back to his room.  Before he slipped away, Clark manage to hear, "John's surgery...not much time..."

                "Well, Clark," said Luthor, grinning.  There was no end to the smugness in his face, the cocky confidence.  "Just you and me now.  Man to man."

                "Right, let's finish this once and for all."

                Luthor was about to cry wolf to the nurses, but Clark was too fast.  He grabbed the wheelchair where John was napping and threw the ex-Lantern onto the couch.  John didn't even blink.  Clark grabbed Luthor by the cuff and tossed him into the chair.  Then he pushed the chair into the wall with a loud clang.

                One of the doctors, startled by the noise, went to go investigate.  "John Stewart.  Appendix removal.  Nurse, let's get this man on a table."

                "W—wait!" cried Luthor.  "I'm not the guy you're looking for!  I'm Lex Luthor!"

                "The former president?"  The doctor checked the record sheet on the back of the wheelchair.  "Alzheimer's.  Figure.  Okay team, let's get rolling."

                Clark enjoyed hearing Luthor's screams.  Unfortunately, his pacemaker couldn't handle the emotion, and went off-line again.

                "Aw...look J'onn.  They're so cute when they sleep."

                Diana had decided to visit her old friends at the home.  J'onn was there too.  All five of the retired superheroes were fast asleep in the living room.  Bruce, Clark, and Wally were all in their chairs, while Shayera and John were passed out on the couch.  John's snoring was deafening but the senior superheroes were too tired to care.  The day's events were very exhausting.

                "They look beat.  What do you suppose happened?"

                "With these guys?" laughed Diana.  "Probably nothing.  Maybe a long line at the prune juice dispenser.  They see so little action nowadays."

                Shayera's eyelid flutter.  She had a good mind to tell the Amazon to bug off.  After all, they had just defeated Luthor, didn't they?  The man was short an organ, at least.  Oh well...the medicine was still making her drowsy...