"Pass the Sweet 'n Low, please."

                "Forget it Wally."

It was another day at the Superhuman Retirement Living Center for the Elderly and Disabled Champions of the Law.  Four of the senior JL members were up and having breakfast at their table.  "Where's Shay?"

                "Shay?" asked John.  "Shay's dead."

                Wally rolled his eyes.  "No John, Shay is still alive.  She's usually the first one up.  That way she can wake us all up.  Wally, its seven, what are you still doing asleep?"  Wally looked at his friends, but they were all staring like something was wrong.  Maybe he wasn't funny enough.  "Wally, get up or I get Hubert to bite your ear!  Isn't she a trip?  Or—"

                "How about 'Wally, if you use Hubert's bird stand to open the cookie jar again, I will cram it where the sun don't shire.'"  Wally craned his neck.  Shayera had her parakeet's broken bird stand in her hand.  Years ago she use to hold a mace in those hands, but it was confiscated after she tried to break out of the old folk's home with it.  "Yeah, I like that one."

                Shayera sat down and poured two bowls of bird seed—one for Hubert and one for herself.  "Actually, this is sort of a mixed blessing."  Wally wasn't sure if Shay was going to thank him or hit him.  "Diana said she'd take me shopping—I haven't been out of this place since they busted me for using carrier pigeons to order weapons."  The JL remembered that day fondly.  Only Hawkgirl could knit a sweater for a bird with a mace in her lap.  "She's talking to the nurse right now."

                Clark sighed.  "I wish we could go shopping."

                Bruce looked at him.  "What would we do?"

                Diana came over to the table.  "Guess what?  With the help of my lasso, I managed to get a day out for all of you!"

Shayera looked around at the mall.  "You think it's alright to leave the guys to their own devices?"

                Diana smiled in her preppy manner.  "Sure Shay.  It gives us 'girl time'."

                What the heck would I spend girl time with you?  "But come on!  They're incompetent without us?  Don't you remember?"

                "So…you shop here often?"

                "Uh, like, yeah."

                Bruce was still making passes at girls.  Clark wanted to bang his head against something.  Bruce was old enough to be some of these girls' grandfather, and it didn't stop them from flocking to him.  One girl with dyed pink hair stopped and winked at the four seniors.  Clark turned to Wally.  "So what do you want to shop for?"  Wally pointed towards the food court.  "No sugar!  That was the one condition—we will not get you on a sugar high."

                "No, I'm pointing that way because I just saw John leave in that direction.  Perhaps we should find him?"

                John hadn't felt this good in ages.  Some pink-haired alien had infested the local civilian area, and it was up to him, the Green Lantern, to save the day.  He used his stealth to creep up on the dastardly villain.  Using his ring to form a giant anvil, he rushed towards his enemy.

"Fear…day light…Gray Lantern's…left or right?"

Of course, the mall-going audience saw an old man grab an umbrella from the ice cream stand and rush towards a teenager.

"As you can see, ma'am, we have a wide selection of bird stands to chose from.  You have a personal favorite?"

                "Oh the bird stands not for me."  Shayera began digging in her purse.  She pulled out Hubert and stuck him on her finger.  "That's why I brought him."  She began cooing at the bird.  "Now, mommy says you can pick any stand you want."  She placed him on a red one.  Hubert promptly released a dropping to show his displeasure.  "Alright."  She placed him on a red one.  He did the same thing.

                "Ah, ma'am, since we're inside the mall, where are not allowed to have live animals in here.  I'm afraid we'll have to take the bird away."

                Shayera's eyes flashed.  "What?"

                "Why, yes, I do have a friend named Dick."

                Bruce's pack of teenage girls began giggled insanely.  But Clark and Wally had left, trying to find the ex-Lantern in the crowd.  "Sorry I'm not much use Clark, being only three feet off the ground."

                "Yeah well, I think I see John up ahead.  Come on we'll—Wally?  Wally?  Where are you now?"

                Meanwhile Bruce had gone too far.  He could hear someone shouting behind him.  "Hey you old geezer!  Quit talking to my girlfriend like that!"

                "Ah, whoops…"

                BAM!

                "We don't have a medium size.  Just large, extra large, and double-extra large."

                "That I'll take the double-extra—and add some sprinkles, will you?

                Flash was handed his giant ice cream cone.  Yummy…the Triple Chocolate Nightmare with extra toppings…

                Bruce couldn't believe it.  He was Batman!  How the heck did this little punk manage to hit him?  Bruce swung and managed to hit the guy.  Well, sort of.  His cane made contact with the guy's nose.  "You jerk!  You'll pay for that!"

                BAM!  OUGH!  SLAP!  POW!  ZIP!  YOW!  BANG!  BOOM! and FIZZA!

                A few hundred yards away, Clark didn't know what to do.  Wally had run—uh, make that rolled off and John was fighting an imaginary foe in the food court.

                ZIP!

                A three-foot tall streak flew by Clark.  It had to be Wally—the creaking noise from the tires was unmistakable.  Things were going to get bad before they got better.

                "Ma'am, just give me the bird."

                "Never!"

                "Security!

                Diana could only watch as two security guards grabbed Shayera and pulled her away.  Diana found herself being escorted out too.  "No, you can't do this to me, I'm a princess!"

                Shayera was more practical.  "Hubert!  Attack for mommy!  Attack for mommy!"

                The last thing the shopkeeper saw before slipping into unconsciousness was a small collection of blue and white feathers zipping towards his forehead at an alarming rate…

                J'onn found himself writing a massive check for the bail of six of his best friends.  The rest of the JL had been incarcerated for 'unruly behavior'.

                "So as I understand it, John was harassing a young woman because he still thinks his GL?"  The officer nodded.  "And he wasn't stopped until Wally's wheelchair collided with him?  But not before Wally damaged about half the mall by crashing into things?  And then Bruce attacked whom?  Jeez, I guess I owe both the mall and the young man a check, huh?"

                "Do you want to know about Miss Hol?"

                "I don't need to.  The only reason I found out they were in jail was because this little guy," J'onn pointed to Hubert, perched on his shoulder and looking somewhat proud.  "He found me and mentioned something about the JL being in jail."

                Shayera, sitting in the cell with the others, couldn't help but grin.  "See?  He loves his mommy after all."

                "Shut up!" yelled the other five.