Chapter 2: Part 2: Interview with the Vorfeed
"Well,
here it is! Gate 14! And there's the swordbreaker!" Averi pointed and giggled insanely.
"Yep! And there's our chance to get a story! That door into the ship has conveniently
been left open!" Amori pointed to a door on the ship.
"Alright!"
"Why
do I have a bad feeling about this?" Fillia murmured as the four walked to the
entrance.
"Because
you're a negative ninny?" Xellos asked and promptly was slugged in the face.
"Shhh!
We don't want them to know we're here yet!" Amori whispered as they walked down
a corridor.
"Want
who to know?"
"Who
do you think- AH WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!" Amori yelled at the new person.
"Ha
ha! This is my ship, I know everything
that goes on on it!" The aqua haired girl giggled at Amori.
"It's
Canal!" Averi yelled and pulled out her 'Site's to see' book again.
"You
know me, now who are you?"
"I'm
Amori, this is Averi, and that's Xellos and Fillia! We came to interview you and Kane and Milly!"
"Well,
Kane and Milly are out right now…You guys are mazokus, aren't you! I haven't seen one of you guy's in that form
in a long time!" Canal laughed, while
tugging on Xellos's face.
Fillia
laughed nervously, "Who is this girl?"
Averi
handed her the book, "This is Canal Vorfeed, ships computer."
"Vorfeed?!? As in the dragon lord?0.0"
"I
haven't been called that in a L-O-N-G time!" Canal stopped playing with
Xellos's face, "You serve Ceifeed, don't you?"
"Yes,
I do"
"Well,
it's just Canal. What do you want to
know?"
"Xellos!
Get the camera!" Xellos begins to film with a sigh.
"I'm
Amori here with the famous, and almost infamous, Canal Vorfeed! Hello Canal!"
"Hiyee!"
"So
Canal, what do you do when your not busy fighting the evils of space?"
"I
clean! Keeping this ship clean is a
full time job with those humans on it!"
"I
see….-_- you clean…nothing else?"
"Um…I
hack into other computers sometimes…"
"That's
IT?"
"uh,
yeah…"
Xellos
handed the camera to Averi and now came up and stole Amori's mic.
"Hey!"
"You
don't ask the right questions! I'll show you how to. Now Canal, IF that is your
real name, you live in this ship, right?"
"Yes."
"Idiot,
she IS the ship!"
Xellos
stuffed a sock puppet he pulled out of nowhere into Amori's mouth.
"So,
I hear you ARE the ship"
"Yes."
"So…you've
been around…awhile?"
"Yes."
"Ever…blow
up anyone?"
"Well,
once or twice…"
"Really,
my sources say it's a daily occurrence."
"Who
are your sources!"
"Well,
let's just say there mine. Answer the question!"
"Yes!
ALRIGHT YES! I blow people up all the time! Are you happy! I'm thinking of blowing YOU up RIGHT NOW!"
"Kinky…"
"Xellos!
This is an interview, not an interrogation!"
"Ok
then, so tell me Canal, you live with a boy and another girl…things ever get a
little too close for comfort?"
"What
do you mean?"
"Ever
see anything you weren't supposed to see?"
"Xellos!"
"That's
sick!"
"Well
Canal?"
"I
don't have to answer that!"
"Well,
according to this contract you signed…"
"I
didn't sign any contract."
"Yes,
you did, it's right here" shows her a contract.
"That
says your name."
"Oops,
wrong one…here it is." Shows her a different contract.
"You
spelt my name wrong."
"Oh,
so YOU signing your name wrong is MY fault?"
"I
DIDN'T sign it!"
"If
you didn't, who did?"
"You
did!"
"Yes,
I know you did, but who!"
"Shutup!"
"Oh,
the interview gets a little too touchy and she gets angry!"
"GET
OFF MY SHIP!"
"Violent
outbursts, just like those you have when you go on your MASS KILLING SPREES,
ISN'T IT! ISN'T IT!"
"I'M
GONNA MASS KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T GET OFF MY SHIP!"
"Canal,
what's all the yelling?" a red-haired boy with a cape walked on to the ship.
"KANE!"
"Yeah
Canal, we could hear you all the way out at the food stand!" a blonde girl
walked in behind Kane carrying groceries.
"That's
Milly and Kane walking onto the ship right now, little do they know what's
waiting for them…I'm Averi Malee here, giving you the play by play of what is
happening on the ship. My guest here is
Amori Malee. Amori, tell me, did that sock
taste good?"
"Shutup!
No! And he stole the specially made microphone that mom made for me!" Fillia,
now the camera woman, zooms in on the microphone in Xellos hand which has
"Amori" on it in big cutout construction paper with glitter glued onto it.
"So,
what do you think is going to happen now?"
"Well,
Averi, I'm pretty sure it'll go something like this: Kane and Milly get annoyed
easily by Xellos's shenanigans, attack him with Canal's help, kick us all of
the ship, where I will proceed to kick Xellos's ass from here to Wolf Pack
Island."
"Wow.
That seems pretty detailed…say Amori, does Kane remind you of someone?"
"Yeah,
he kind of looks like a male version of Lina…"
Xellos
popped in at that moment with Amori's mic, "LINA looks like a male version of
Lina!"
"Oh,
I am SO telling her!"
"No NO!
I take it back!"
Amori
laughed, "TOO LATE I HAVE THE WRITTEN TRANSCRIPT!"
"Uh, well,let's go back to
the action!"
"Kane! This mean ole mazoku from a different world
is being mean! And sick minded!"
"Who
are you anyways?"
"Kane!
What's it like living with two girls? Get much action? Ever been…inappropriate?"
"What?!?"
"I
can't believe he asked that!"
"Milly!
I hear that your little boyfriend here is actual a cousin of yours. How do you feel about that?"
"He
is not!"
"Ok,
uncle or something…"
"That's
sick!"
"I
KNOW! So, tell me all about it!"
"I
think you need to leave." Kane said, pulling out his psi-blade.
"Oh
come on, don't keep all the details to yourself! Inquiring minds want to know!"
The
blade on Kanes sword appeared. "You need to leave."
"Wow,
what a big blade you have! Gourry's isn't even as big!"
"Xellos!"
all three girls yelled.
Milly
pulled out her gun, "Get off!"
"No!
Wait!"
"What?"
"Kane…I
am your father!"
"What?!?"
Xellos,
putting on a big black helmet, "The empire will triumph in the end Kane….join
me."
"Xellos…..-_-"
"Get
OFF the goddamn SHIP!"
"Fine,
you don't have to tell me twice."
"They
told you to get off six times dumbass!"
"Well,
I only heard it once. Nice to have met all you," Xellos walks over to Canal,
"Call me, we'll do that mass killing thing together."
"GO
AWAY!"
Xellos
walked off the ship.
Kane
and Milly looked at the other three girls.
"Uh…sorry
about that….Can we, uh, still interview you?"
"NO!"
"Ok!
We'll just be leaving then! Bye bye!" Amori grabbed Averi and took off, Fillia
being smart enough to run of the ship before them.
"Well,
that sucked!"
"And
Xellos ruined our interview!"
"Hey,
L~Sama will appreciate MY interview more than yours anyways."
"I
don't even know why I'm here, but can we go home? Val needs to be picked up from daycare…"
"Oh,
we'll just bring him with!" Averi laughed
"No!"
Xellos yelled but it was too late, Val appeared in Fillia's arms.
"Ooook! So I guess that means we're all ready to go
to the next place, right?"
"That's
right Averi! So why don't you tell all
the readers about it while I tie up some loose ends!"
"OK!"
"Loose
ends? What is that Amori?"
"Oh,
I'll show you Xellos…Hee heee hee" Laughs evilly.
"Uh….eep!"
Averi
holds the camera herself in front herself, in the background is Fillia playing
with baby Val and behind her a big cloud of dust because Amori is kicking
Xellos's ass…quite literally. "OK
everyone! Same choices as before! Except not Lost Universe again…I don't think
we're welcome here anymore…"
Barney
and Fred appear in the background "There they are!"
"Uh,
er, anyways! Your choices are:
Fushigi
Yuugi
Magic
Knights Rayearth
Martian
Successor Nadesico
Record of Lodoss War
Sailor
Moon, and
Sorcerer
Hunters"
"Well,
There's your choices people! Make sure
to vote by August 27th by emailing, reviewing, or signing
the guestbook! Or else me and Amori will decide between us, without your
say at all! So, let us know what YOU
want! Gotta run, bye!" takes off
running.
"Come back here!" Fred and Barney take after her. Fillia continues to play with Val. In the background you can still see Amori
and Xellos fight- well, Amori kicking Xellos's ass. "That'll teach ya to steal
my mic! And put a SOCK PUPPET IN MY
MOUTH!"
Amori and Averi would just like to let all the
readers know that yes, Xellos is their little whipping boy, but they still love
him, no matter what they write! So no
flames!
We do not own any of the characters in here except
for ourselves. And we're very sorry to
George Lucas for the reference to Star Wars, and in the rare and very miniscule
chance that he actually read this himself, Sorry! ^_^;;