Title: Always You
Chapter 8: Those Lazy Hazy Crazy Days
A/N: Hee, I'm all caught up! Okay, so starting now, the chapters will begin to slightly mirror the episodes of season three, but not everything...for instance, Rory is going to continue to be with Dean for a little while (I don't know how long; I'm trying to decide the effect that Lor and Chris' brand-new relationship will have on Rory), but Lorelai is not going to go out with Peyton or Alex (sorry, no pool fishing, and it looks like Jayne Mansfeld isn't gonna visit our favorite girls' bathtub), and Christopher is certainly not going to show up in the second episode and cause a major argument. There might be an argument in the next chapter, just to keep with the story, but still, I don't know yet. If anyone has any ideas....
Disclaimer: So now I really don't own anything. I'm probably gonna pull some dialogue directly from the show, so if anything sounds familiar, that's why.
Oh yeah: picks up pretty much where the last one left off. They're in Stars Hollow, getting ready to visit the town insanity center. Oh, wait...
~~~~
"So I figure we'll drop your stuff off, go pick up Sookie and Jackson, and head over to the festival." Lorelai was saying as she, Christopher, and Rory walked up the stairs toward their house.
"That sounds great," Christopher said, grunting as he lifted one of Rory's suitcases up the steps.
"What about dinner? Aren't Grandma and Grandpa back?"
"Yeah, well, I kinda told them something to get you out of it." Lorelai, the only one not weighed down with Rory's traveling books (and a few clothes) held open the front door.
"Oh, really? What?" Rory finally let her suitcase drop inches inside the door.
"I said you weren't coming back till tomorrow."
"So a big fat lie."
"Yeah, but hey, I'll tell 'em I'm pregnant again, and then I'll tell them the truth. They'll never remember you were here a day earlier. And you get some Peaches and Herb time with Dean." Lorelai pointed out.
"Reunited and it feels so good," Christopher sang.
Rory smiled and started pushing her suitcases into her room. Chris smiled at Lorelai, and she smiled at his closed mouth. And then he started again.
"Oh, yes, we're reunited and it feels so good."
~~~~
"Ooh, fancy," Lorelai said minutes later as Rory stepped from her room in a knee-length dress. "You know, you'll get a chance to change before Dean gets here in--" Lor grabbed Chris' wrist and looked at his watch. "two hours."
"I know, I just figured I'd look all nice when I greet my town again."
"Aww. That was the lamest excuse I have ever heard."
"Well, I've been without you for six weeks. I'm suffering from withdrawal."
"But that's some ultra-good butt kissing! Come on, let's go make fun of Taylor. He slipped on a banana peel, you know. In front of his house!" Lorelai giggled and they all stepped out of the house.
A few minutes later, they were emerging from behind some big bushy tree things, Lorelai's shortcut to Sookie's house. She'd also found a shortcut to Al's that took an entire forty seconds off their route! Even with Chris there, she'd been bored out of her mind with Rory gone, although he did accompany her on many of the shortcut finding adventures--he was the holder of the stopwatch.
"I can't wait to see Sookie again. Does she look different, being married?"
"Mmm, no, not really. Then again, I've seen her every day since she got back."
"We've been eating breakfast there," Chris explained to Rory. Rory nodded and they walked up to the house and opened the door. Lorelai poked her head in first, but after witnessing what she figured to be the beginning of a major fight, she gestured for them to leave and they did.
Another couple of minutes later, they were finally back in the center of town. Taylor's 'big city band' was singing away--a song by "Cole Porter," Chris speculated. Lorelai just speculated that if they didn't learn a new song soon, she was going to be throwing popcorn, candy and beer at them and seeing how lazy-hazy-crazy their summer days would be then. They started bickering playfully, not paying attention to where they were going, so when Rory stopped suddenly, Lorelai ran into her and Chris ran into her. They were all piled up like that, daughter, mother, father, when Lorelai and Christopher realized what Rory was staring at. Jess was backed up against a tree, and a slutty blonde was devouring him slowly--starting with his mouth.
"He's got his 'what I did this summer' essay all researched and ready to go. Dodged a bullet there, didn't ya, Ror?"
"What do you mean?" Rory asked.
"Yeah, what do you mean? Is that--is that the guy?" Chris pointed at Jess. Lorelai shushed him.
"Look, why don't you go get us some cotton candy." Lorelai started pushing Chris away from Rory, who still stood dumbstruck, staring at Jess.
"That is him. Am I right? Is that the guy who broke her arm?"
"Shh!" Lor glanced back at Rory. "Yeah," she softly answered, nodding.
"Oh, I'm gonna kill him!" Chris started towards Jess, but Lor grabbed his arm and pushed him away.
"Go get food. I've gotta talk to Ror."
"Not before I kill 'im."
"Yes, before you kill him. Now go get me and Rory some cotton candy."
"But--"
"Now," Lorelai said firmly. Christopher turned, defeated, and walked away. Lorelai waited until she saw him get stopped by Miss Patty, and then she walked back up to Rory, who was still staring at Jess.
"Oh, God!"
"What is it?"
"It's that!"
"Jess?"
"Yes!"
"You're upset about Jess?"
"I said yes."
"Yes, it's Jess?"
"You're not being funny."
"It's not my fault that yes and Jess rhyme. Did I exploit the opportunity, of course I did, but...Rory, come on. I know you had this crush--"
"It wasn't a crush." Rory said defensively.
"Well, whatever it was, I thought it was over. I mean, you haven't talked to him since--"
"Sookie's wedding." Rory sighed and interrupted her mother.
"Wha--You, uh, you talked to him at Sookie's wedding?"
"Yes."
"Oh, let's not get started on that again. This doesn't make any sense. He wasn't at Sookie's wedding."
"Yes, he was. He had just come back and he came to see me."
"Okay, so he crashed Sookie's wedding, and...
"And nothing. He told me that he was back in town, that he'd moved back, and..."
"That's not a good pause. What is it? Rory, come on."
"And we kissed, okay?" Rory finally said the words. They sounded so strange coming from her lips, talking about Jess, to both girls.
"You kissed?"
"Yes."
"Again with the yes! Forget everything you heard in Miss Congeniality, be normal and say yeah for once in your life!"
"Fine! Yeah."
"So, you kissed? Like...you kissed?"
"Yes--yeah."
"Okay, that's interesting. Who kissed who?"
"What does that matter?"
"Oh, it matters. Trust me.Well, did he kiss you, did you kiss each other, did you trip and your faces accidentally--"
"I kissed him." Rory interrupted again.
"Oh...kay."
"And I don't know, I thought he came back here because he liked me or something, and I kissed him and he kissed me back, and now he's over there and I feel so stupid and...that girl isn't even his type and--"
"Rory--what are you doing?"
"What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm ranting. You should recognize this, I learned it from you."
"True, but, I mean, you went to Sookie's wedding with--with Dean."
"I know."
"And you were so sweet, and couple-y, and then you ran off to have some thing with Jess."
"Wait--it was a kiss, not a thing."
"A kiss is a thing."
"Well, it wasn't planned, it just happened."
"God, I can't believe it. All this time I'm thinking, 'She's with Dean.'"
"I am with Dean."
"No, Rory--kissing another guy is not being with Dean. Ask him, I bet he'd back me up on that."
"It was nothing. Nothing."
"Well, then why are you so freaked out?"
"I'm not freaked out."
"Oh, you so are. Look, kid, you have gotta make up your mind. Jess, Dean, Jess, Dean, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again--it's enough already. If you want Jess, that's fine--go get him, there he is. If you think that's the great love of your life, then great...grab a liver treat and a squeaky toy and run to him. Don't worry about that girl because I'm sure he will have moved onto somebody else in about an hour. But do something. Dean has been sweet and supportive and incredibly patient, and now you are officially treating him like dirt, and I'm sorry, but not only is that not you, he doesn't deserve that."
Rory sighed. "I know all of this about Dean.
"You do? You really do?"
"Yeah, I do. I know how great he is. I knew it before you did!"
Well, knowing this has apparently not stopped you from dragging his heart all over this town."
"Not fair!"
"Yes, fair, the fairest, the Snow White of fair."
"I don't wanna talk to you about this anymore."
"Okay. Just--listen, if you don't wanna be with Dean anymore, cut him loose. Let him find someone who does because this is just so...wrong! So horribly wrong!"
"All right, I get it! Just stop!" Rory and Lorelai glared at each other for a second. Suddenly--
"Rory! Hey!" Dean walked across the street and hugged Rory.
"Hi." Rory said awkwardly over his shoulder.
"Hi, Dean," Lorelai said. Christopher walked up with two cones of cotton candy.
"Here." he shoved a cone at Lorelai.
"Why, thank you. Look who it is!"
"Oh, hey Dean. Thank God you're here, instead of that o--Ow!" Chris said as Lorelai jabbed him in the ribs.
"What?" Dean asked, confused.
"Oh, nothing. Come on, Chris, dinner with the parents."
"Do you have--" Dean asked Rory.
"No, she's off this time. You guys have all night to...talk. Glad to have you back, Dean."
"Thanks."
"Chris, give the girl her cotton candy. Let's go."
"Nice to see you again, Dean," Chris said as he was pushed away by Lorelai. Rory just barely managed to grab her cotton candy before it was out of reach.
~~~~
Half-an-hour later, Lorelai and Christopher were climbing out of the Volvo in front of the elder Gilmore residence.
"Wow." Chris said as he slammed the driver's side door. "She kissed him?"
"Yeah, but don't say anything about it. And don't kill him, either. If she does have a crush on him, she certainly won't appreciate it."
"Of course not. That's something you don't tell your dad."
"Are you mad?"
"No, I really get it. I understand, I really do." Chris rang the doorbell.
"Really?"
"Really." Chris smiled and leaned in to kiss Lorelai.
"Lorelai, nice to see you. Christopher!" Emily pulled open the door seconds before they kissed. "How wonderful to see you again. And so unexpected!"
"Oh, Mom, hi. Sorry we're late." Lorelai said as she and Chris walked into the house.
"Oh, don't worry. I see why you were late. Richard! You'll never guess who's here!"
"Never?" Lorelai asked.
"So, Christopher, how are things going with you?" Emily ignored her daughter.
"They're great, Emily, and you?"
"Oh, just wonderful. Richard!"
"Calm down, Emily, I'm right here. I might need to make another phone call, though. Ben Stellen and I got cut off."
"Ben Stiller? Did he recite some of Zoolander and you missed the ending?" Lorelai joked. Richard and Emily stared at her. "Uh, joke, it's a joke."
"All right." Richard said. "Oh, Christopher, I didn't see you there. How are you?"
"Great, great," Chris said as he shook Richard's hand. "You?"
"Oh, good as usual."
"All right, well, let's go outside." Emily started trying to herd everyone to the back of the house.
"Already? We just came inside." Chris joked.
"Oh, Christopher!" Emily laughed.
"Whoa...surreal. Actually, Mom, I've got something to tell you. Well, we've got something to tell you."
"Oh, that can wait until we get outside. Let's go!"
"Oh, no, it--"
Emily walked away, Richard followed her, and Chris shrugged.
"Come on, we'll tell them out there." he said, touching her arm and steering her after her parents.
"But I don't wanna!" Lor whined.
"Come, come, come, sit, sit, sit," Emily said as Lor and Chris walked outside. They obliged. "So, what's your news?"
"Oh, well--"
"Oh, wait, we brought something back for you from Martha's Vineyard." Emily picked up a bag and handed it to Lorelai.
"Okay..."
"Open it, open it!"
"All right." Lorelai opened the bag. "Scone mix, wow."
"This new little place opened right down the road from our house and they make these wonderful scones, and that is their mix so you can make them right in your own kitchen!"
"Well, thank you. I will put this on my counter and stare at it for many years to come."
"You're not going to make them?"
"Oh, I'm not really good at cooking."
"Neither am I," Christopher spoke up.
"But Rory would love them!"
"Okay, fine, you know what, we'll go straight home and make the scones. But right now, I have something to tell you."
"Fine, go ahead, talk, we're listening."
"Um, okay, well, um...hey, Chris, you wanna take over?"
"Okay. Um. Well, it's something really big."
"Christopher, we brought you a captain's hat. It's wonderful. Richard, where'd we put it?"
"Mom, pay attention. This is really big."
"What is it, Lorelai?" Richard asked.
"You're breaking up." Emily stated.
"What?" Chris asked.
"No! No, Mom. We're pregnant."
"What?" Emily repeated Chris' word from moments before.
"Yeah, she's pregnant."
"You're having another child?" Richard asked. Lor and Chris nodded, and Richard smiled. "Well, I think that's wonderful. Congratulations."
"Are you getting married?" Emily asked.
"Well, actually," Chris started. He grabbed Lorelai's hand, squeezed it, and smiled at her.
"Oh, that's wonderful news! Oh! I just remembered something. I'll be right back." Emily stood up and walked off. Richard shrugged in response to Lorelai's look of confusion, and Christopher stood up and fixed sodas for Lorelai and himself. "Here it is!" Emily announced, returning with a small square envelope.
"What's that?" Lorelai asked, taking a sip of her soda.
"Oh, no. Emily, don't," Richard protested, recognizing the paper.
"Oh, relax, I'm just going to show it to them."
"Emily, they're not going to appreciate it."
"Relax, Richard."
"Don't show it to them! They don't want to see it."
"No, no, now I really do wanna see it." Lorelai said.
"Don't say I didn't warn you," Richard said in an almost sing-song voice.
"I can handle it," Lorelai assured her father, reaching her hand towards her mother for the card. Emily happily handed it over, and Lorelai slipped a card out of the envelope. "We cordially invite you? What is this?" Lorelai opened the card. "Mr. and Mrs. Richard Gilmore and Mr. and Mrs. Straub Hayden cordially invite you to the joining of their children, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore and Christopher James Hayden in Holy Matrimony?!" Lorelai read the invitation aloud, her voice rising with each word until she was yelling. "What the hell is this?"
"It's your wedding invitation."
"The date's March eleventh, eighty-four," Chris observed over Lorelai's shoulder.
"Yes, well, it's the wedding invitation I had printed up when I learned you were pregnant the first time."
"What? Mom, this is crazy."
"I told you they wouldn't like it," Richard said from behind his glass.
"Oh, shut up, Richard."
"Emily, why would you do this?" Christopher asked.
"Because our daughter was pregnant. Our wonderful, smart, beautiful, young daughter was pregnant. And unmarried. Without a marraige, the baby would have ruined your reputation. Both of your reputations. And it did."
"But if we'd gotten married it would have ruined both of our lives!" Lorelai exclaimed.
"You don't know that!" Emily yelled.
"Yes, I do! We were not in the same place eighteen years ago--now we are! God, I can't stand this."
"Lor, it's okay," Chris rubbed her arm.
"No, no, it's not okay, Chris! Our parents planned a wedding behind our backs."
"I took no part in it." Richard protested.
"Fine, then it was just Mom. Thanks a lot, Mom. Especially for telling me about this. Although I guess you were too busy telling me that I was horrible and worthless for getting pregnant. I can't handle this. I am going home to see my illegitimate daughter who ruined both her mother and her father's reputation. I'm leaving." Lorelai picked up her purse and stalked away, back through the house and to her car. Christopher shrugged and followed her. Richard looked at Emily, shook his head, and walked back into the house.
Chapter 8: Those Lazy Hazy Crazy Days
A/N: Hee, I'm all caught up! Okay, so starting now, the chapters will begin to slightly mirror the episodes of season three, but not everything...for instance, Rory is going to continue to be with Dean for a little while (I don't know how long; I'm trying to decide the effect that Lor and Chris' brand-new relationship will have on Rory), but Lorelai is not going to go out with Peyton or Alex (sorry, no pool fishing, and it looks like Jayne Mansfeld isn't gonna visit our favorite girls' bathtub), and Christopher is certainly not going to show up in the second episode and cause a major argument. There might be an argument in the next chapter, just to keep with the story, but still, I don't know yet. If anyone has any ideas....
Disclaimer: So now I really don't own anything. I'm probably gonna pull some dialogue directly from the show, so if anything sounds familiar, that's why.
Oh yeah: picks up pretty much where the last one left off. They're in Stars Hollow, getting ready to visit the town insanity center. Oh, wait...
~~~~
"So I figure we'll drop your stuff off, go pick up Sookie and Jackson, and head over to the festival." Lorelai was saying as she, Christopher, and Rory walked up the stairs toward their house.
"That sounds great," Christopher said, grunting as he lifted one of Rory's suitcases up the steps.
"What about dinner? Aren't Grandma and Grandpa back?"
"Yeah, well, I kinda told them something to get you out of it." Lorelai, the only one not weighed down with Rory's traveling books (and a few clothes) held open the front door.
"Oh, really? What?" Rory finally let her suitcase drop inches inside the door.
"I said you weren't coming back till tomorrow."
"So a big fat lie."
"Yeah, but hey, I'll tell 'em I'm pregnant again, and then I'll tell them the truth. They'll never remember you were here a day earlier. And you get some Peaches and Herb time with Dean." Lorelai pointed out.
"Reunited and it feels so good," Christopher sang.
Rory smiled and started pushing her suitcases into her room. Chris smiled at Lorelai, and she smiled at his closed mouth. And then he started again.
"Oh, yes, we're reunited and it feels so good."
~~~~
"Ooh, fancy," Lorelai said minutes later as Rory stepped from her room in a knee-length dress. "You know, you'll get a chance to change before Dean gets here in--" Lor grabbed Chris' wrist and looked at his watch. "two hours."
"I know, I just figured I'd look all nice when I greet my town again."
"Aww. That was the lamest excuse I have ever heard."
"Well, I've been without you for six weeks. I'm suffering from withdrawal."
"But that's some ultra-good butt kissing! Come on, let's go make fun of Taylor. He slipped on a banana peel, you know. In front of his house!" Lorelai giggled and they all stepped out of the house.
A few minutes later, they were emerging from behind some big bushy tree things, Lorelai's shortcut to Sookie's house. She'd also found a shortcut to Al's that took an entire forty seconds off their route! Even with Chris there, she'd been bored out of her mind with Rory gone, although he did accompany her on many of the shortcut finding adventures--he was the holder of the stopwatch.
"I can't wait to see Sookie again. Does she look different, being married?"
"Mmm, no, not really. Then again, I've seen her every day since she got back."
"We've been eating breakfast there," Chris explained to Rory. Rory nodded and they walked up to the house and opened the door. Lorelai poked her head in first, but after witnessing what she figured to be the beginning of a major fight, she gestured for them to leave and they did.
Another couple of minutes later, they were finally back in the center of town. Taylor's 'big city band' was singing away--a song by "Cole Porter," Chris speculated. Lorelai just speculated that if they didn't learn a new song soon, she was going to be throwing popcorn, candy and beer at them and seeing how lazy-hazy-crazy their summer days would be then. They started bickering playfully, not paying attention to where they were going, so when Rory stopped suddenly, Lorelai ran into her and Chris ran into her. They were all piled up like that, daughter, mother, father, when Lorelai and Christopher realized what Rory was staring at. Jess was backed up against a tree, and a slutty blonde was devouring him slowly--starting with his mouth.
"He's got his 'what I did this summer' essay all researched and ready to go. Dodged a bullet there, didn't ya, Ror?"
"What do you mean?" Rory asked.
"Yeah, what do you mean? Is that--is that the guy?" Chris pointed at Jess. Lorelai shushed him.
"Look, why don't you go get us some cotton candy." Lorelai started pushing Chris away from Rory, who still stood dumbstruck, staring at Jess.
"That is him. Am I right? Is that the guy who broke her arm?"
"Shh!" Lor glanced back at Rory. "Yeah," she softly answered, nodding.
"Oh, I'm gonna kill him!" Chris started towards Jess, but Lor grabbed his arm and pushed him away.
"Go get food. I've gotta talk to Ror."
"Not before I kill 'im."
"Yes, before you kill him. Now go get me and Rory some cotton candy."
"But--"
"Now," Lorelai said firmly. Christopher turned, defeated, and walked away. Lorelai waited until she saw him get stopped by Miss Patty, and then she walked back up to Rory, who was still staring at Jess.
"Oh, God!"
"What is it?"
"It's that!"
"Jess?"
"Yes!"
"You're upset about Jess?"
"I said yes."
"Yes, it's Jess?"
"You're not being funny."
"It's not my fault that yes and Jess rhyme. Did I exploit the opportunity, of course I did, but...Rory, come on. I know you had this crush--"
"It wasn't a crush." Rory said defensively.
"Well, whatever it was, I thought it was over. I mean, you haven't talked to him since--"
"Sookie's wedding." Rory sighed and interrupted her mother.
"Wha--You, uh, you talked to him at Sookie's wedding?"
"Yes."
"Oh, let's not get started on that again. This doesn't make any sense. He wasn't at Sookie's wedding."
"Yes, he was. He had just come back and he came to see me."
"Okay, so he crashed Sookie's wedding, and...
"And nothing. He told me that he was back in town, that he'd moved back, and..."
"That's not a good pause. What is it? Rory, come on."
"And we kissed, okay?" Rory finally said the words. They sounded so strange coming from her lips, talking about Jess, to both girls.
"You kissed?"
"Yes."
"Again with the yes! Forget everything you heard in Miss Congeniality, be normal and say yeah for once in your life!"
"Fine! Yeah."
"So, you kissed? Like...you kissed?"
"Yes--yeah."
"Okay, that's interesting. Who kissed who?"
"What does that matter?"
"Oh, it matters. Trust me.Well, did he kiss you, did you kiss each other, did you trip and your faces accidentally--"
"I kissed him." Rory interrupted again.
"Oh...kay."
"And I don't know, I thought he came back here because he liked me or something, and I kissed him and he kissed me back, and now he's over there and I feel so stupid and...that girl isn't even his type and--"
"Rory--what are you doing?"
"What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm ranting. You should recognize this, I learned it from you."
"True, but, I mean, you went to Sookie's wedding with--with Dean."
"I know."
"And you were so sweet, and couple-y, and then you ran off to have some thing with Jess."
"Wait--it was a kiss, not a thing."
"A kiss is a thing."
"Well, it wasn't planned, it just happened."
"God, I can't believe it. All this time I'm thinking, 'She's with Dean.'"
"I am with Dean."
"No, Rory--kissing another guy is not being with Dean. Ask him, I bet he'd back me up on that."
"It was nothing. Nothing."
"Well, then why are you so freaked out?"
"I'm not freaked out."
"Oh, you so are. Look, kid, you have gotta make up your mind. Jess, Dean, Jess, Dean, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again--it's enough already. If you want Jess, that's fine--go get him, there he is. If you think that's the great love of your life, then great...grab a liver treat and a squeaky toy and run to him. Don't worry about that girl because I'm sure he will have moved onto somebody else in about an hour. But do something. Dean has been sweet and supportive and incredibly patient, and now you are officially treating him like dirt, and I'm sorry, but not only is that not you, he doesn't deserve that."
Rory sighed. "I know all of this about Dean.
"You do? You really do?"
"Yeah, I do. I know how great he is. I knew it before you did!"
Well, knowing this has apparently not stopped you from dragging his heart all over this town."
"Not fair!"
"Yes, fair, the fairest, the Snow White of fair."
"I don't wanna talk to you about this anymore."
"Okay. Just--listen, if you don't wanna be with Dean anymore, cut him loose. Let him find someone who does because this is just so...wrong! So horribly wrong!"
"All right, I get it! Just stop!" Rory and Lorelai glared at each other for a second. Suddenly--
"Rory! Hey!" Dean walked across the street and hugged Rory.
"Hi." Rory said awkwardly over his shoulder.
"Hi, Dean," Lorelai said. Christopher walked up with two cones of cotton candy.
"Here." he shoved a cone at Lorelai.
"Why, thank you. Look who it is!"
"Oh, hey Dean. Thank God you're here, instead of that o--Ow!" Chris said as Lorelai jabbed him in the ribs.
"What?" Dean asked, confused.
"Oh, nothing. Come on, Chris, dinner with the parents."
"Do you have--" Dean asked Rory.
"No, she's off this time. You guys have all night to...talk. Glad to have you back, Dean."
"Thanks."
"Chris, give the girl her cotton candy. Let's go."
"Nice to see you again, Dean," Chris said as he was pushed away by Lorelai. Rory just barely managed to grab her cotton candy before it was out of reach.
~~~~
Half-an-hour later, Lorelai and Christopher were climbing out of the Volvo in front of the elder Gilmore residence.
"Wow." Chris said as he slammed the driver's side door. "She kissed him?"
"Yeah, but don't say anything about it. And don't kill him, either. If she does have a crush on him, she certainly won't appreciate it."
"Of course not. That's something you don't tell your dad."
"Are you mad?"
"No, I really get it. I understand, I really do." Chris rang the doorbell.
"Really?"
"Really." Chris smiled and leaned in to kiss Lorelai.
"Lorelai, nice to see you. Christopher!" Emily pulled open the door seconds before they kissed. "How wonderful to see you again. And so unexpected!"
"Oh, Mom, hi. Sorry we're late." Lorelai said as she and Chris walked into the house.
"Oh, don't worry. I see why you were late. Richard! You'll never guess who's here!"
"Never?" Lorelai asked.
"So, Christopher, how are things going with you?" Emily ignored her daughter.
"They're great, Emily, and you?"
"Oh, just wonderful. Richard!"
"Calm down, Emily, I'm right here. I might need to make another phone call, though. Ben Stellen and I got cut off."
"Ben Stiller? Did he recite some of Zoolander and you missed the ending?" Lorelai joked. Richard and Emily stared at her. "Uh, joke, it's a joke."
"All right." Richard said. "Oh, Christopher, I didn't see you there. How are you?"
"Great, great," Chris said as he shook Richard's hand. "You?"
"Oh, good as usual."
"All right, well, let's go outside." Emily started trying to herd everyone to the back of the house.
"Already? We just came inside." Chris joked.
"Oh, Christopher!" Emily laughed.
"Whoa...surreal. Actually, Mom, I've got something to tell you. Well, we've got something to tell you."
"Oh, that can wait until we get outside. Let's go!"
"Oh, no, it--"
Emily walked away, Richard followed her, and Chris shrugged.
"Come on, we'll tell them out there." he said, touching her arm and steering her after her parents.
"But I don't wanna!" Lor whined.
"Come, come, come, sit, sit, sit," Emily said as Lor and Chris walked outside. They obliged. "So, what's your news?"
"Oh, well--"
"Oh, wait, we brought something back for you from Martha's Vineyard." Emily picked up a bag and handed it to Lorelai.
"Okay..."
"Open it, open it!"
"All right." Lorelai opened the bag. "Scone mix, wow."
"This new little place opened right down the road from our house and they make these wonderful scones, and that is their mix so you can make them right in your own kitchen!"
"Well, thank you. I will put this on my counter and stare at it for many years to come."
"You're not going to make them?"
"Oh, I'm not really good at cooking."
"Neither am I," Christopher spoke up.
"But Rory would love them!"
"Okay, fine, you know what, we'll go straight home and make the scones. But right now, I have something to tell you."
"Fine, go ahead, talk, we're listening."
"Um, okay, well, um...hey, Chris, you wanna take over?"
"Okay. Um. Well, it's something really big."
"Christopher, we brought you a captain's hat. It's wonderful. Richard, where'd we put it?"
"Mom, pay attention. This is really big."
"What is it, Lorelai?" Richard asked.
"You're breaking up." Emily stated.
"What?" Chris asked.
"No! No, Mom. We're pregnant."
"What?" Emily repeated Chris' word from moments before.
"Yeah, she's pregnant."
"You're having another child?" Richard asked. Lor and Chris nodded, and Richard smiled. "Well, I think that's wonderful. Congratulations."
"Are you getting married?" Emily asked.
"Well, actually," Chris started. He grabbed Lorelai's hand, squeezed it, and smiled at her.
"Oh, that's wonderful news! Oh! I just remembered something. I'll be right back." Emily stood up and walked off. Richard shrugged in response to Lorelai's look of confusion, and Christopher stood up and fixed sodas for Lorelai and himself. "Here it is!" Emily announced, returning with a small square envelope.
"What's that?" Lorelai asked, taking a sip of her soda.
"Oh, no. Emily, don't," Richard protested, recognizing the paper.
"Oh, relax, I'm just going to show it to them."
"Emily, they're not going to appreciate it."
"Relax, Richard."
"Don't show it to them! They don't want to see it."
"No, no, now I really do wanna see it." Lorelai said.
"Don't say I didn't warn you," Richard said in an almost sing-song voice.
"I can handle it," Lorelai assured her father, reaching her hand towards her mother for the card. Emily happily handed it over, and Lorelai slipped a card out of the envelope. "We cordially invite you? What is this?" Lorelai opened the card. "Mr. and Mrs. Richard Gilmore and Mr. and Mrs. Straub Hayden cordially invite you to the joining of their children, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore and Christopher James Hayden in Holy Matrimony?!" Lorelai read the invitation aloud, her voice rising with each word until she was yelling. "What the hell is this?"
"It's your wedding invitation."
"The date's March eleventh, eighty-four," Chris observed over Lorelai's shoulder.
"Yes, well, it's the wedding invitation I had printed up when I learned you were pregnant the first time."
"What? Mom, this is crazy."
"I told you they wouldn't like it," Richard said from behind his glass.
"Oh, shut up, Richard."
"Emily, why would you do this?" Christopher asked.
"Because our daughter was pregnant. Our wonderful, smart, beautiful, young daughter was pregnant. And unmarried. Without a marraige, the baby would have ruined your reputation. Both of your reputations. And it did."
"But if we'd gotten married it would have ruined both of our lives!" Lorelai exclaimed.
"You don't know that!" Emily yelled.
"Yes, I do! We were not in the same place eighteen years ago--now we are! God, I can't stand this."
"Lor, it's okay," Chris rubbed her arm.
"No, no, it's not okay, Chris! Our parents planned a wedding behind our backs."
"I took no part in it." Richard protested.
"Fine, then it was just Mom. Thanks a lot, Mom. Especially for telling me about this. Although I guess you were too busy telling me that I was horrible and worthless for getting pregnant. I can't handle this. I am going home to see my illegitimate daughter who ruined both her mother and her father's reputation. I'm leaving." Lorelai picked up her purse and stalked away, back through the house and to her car. Christopher shrugged and followed her. Richard looked at Emily, shook his head, and walked back into the house.