Author's Notes: oh dear god this took me a hella long time to finish. sorry 'bout that. i'm also sorry to say that i can't remember who it was that asked for this follow-up in the first place. whoever it was, thank you for pushing me toward this and i hope you (all) like it... i know Trinity will since it has the twins.
i must say that some of this Sindarin is wrong. i know that. what i *don't* know is how to correct it. if any of you know, please, PLEASE tell me (nicely). i will admit some of it is ... not made up, but kinda...... improvised. i tried very hard to do it right and i do have to give credit to the Sindarin Dictionary Project. thanks guys! now, on with the show.
********
Helm's Deep is so empty that my footsteps echo as I make my way through the corridors to the hall where I know the twins have been assigned rooms. I knock softly on Elrohir's door then push it open slightly without waiting for an answer. I have been friends with the twins for most of my life and we are very close, taking liberties that would earn anyone else a sharp reprimand.
I am not surprised to see the twins sitting on the bed, deep in quiet conversation; the two never spend much time apart. I slip silently into the room, softly closing the door behind me. As I approach, two dark heads turn toward me and I am studied by two identical sets of stormy grey eyes. Without a word, Elladan holds out his hand and I move to the bed, sitting beside the pair.
I can feel them looking at me, though I refuse to meet their eyes for if I do I will only see more understanding and compassion than I can possibly bear. They are far older than I and have suffered much heart-ache and grief. They know far too well what I am feeling right now.
Long, tapered fingers frame my face and a soft voice whispers in my ear. "Vin niniel ernil." {Our tearful prince.} I bite my lower lip to keep from crying out though I cannot stop the traitorous tears that seep from my eyes. I am trying so hard to keep myself together... It's not only Haldir's death that is causing me so much turmoil, but the relief of knowing that our mad quest is over. In retrospect it is wonderous that we made it through fully intact save Boromir and poor Frodo's finger.
"Leithio baul lin, Legolas." {Release your torment.} This time it is Elrohir who speaks, a sort of urgency in his voice. He knows as well as I do that if I keep this bottled up it will eventually kill me. "Im mela le, meldir."
Those four words undo me. Those four words that I could never speak to Haldir, that I desperately wish to say to him now. Those four words thrown at me. I begin to tremble and a strong pair of arms comes around me, pulling me into a warm embrace. I am surrounded by the soothing smell of horses, leather and hay and I settle more comfortably into Elrohir's arms.
With my face now hidden against my friend's chest, I feel no guilt for the tears that leave warm wet streaks down my cheeks. So much has changed in the last few months and I don't know if I am strong enough to deal with those changes. All I really want to do is hide from the outside world. Maybe I will do something along those lines... perhaps Gimli will actually hold me to our little deal. I will travel with him through the Glittering Caves if he will accompany me through Fangorn.
While it does sound like a nice little journey, it is not what I was originally planning on doing after this was all over. Before I left Lorien Haldir made me promise that I would return and spend much time with him, in happier days, with a lighter heart. I agreed wholeheartedly, promising that I would return as quickly as possible. My heart weeps that I had to break that promise. I didn't mean to... I would do anything to have him here with me again. If he was only here I would tell him what I couldn't tell him before. I would tell him how much he helped me, how much he means to me, how much I love him.
"Henion-e." {He understood} I startle at both the quiet voice which intrudes on my personal reflection and at the unspoken truths behind it. It seems that at least one of my friends has been peeking in on my thoughts, though I can't really blame them. I must seem on the verge of madness to them and they are only trying to protect and help me. When I think of what those words really mean, though, I begin to lose it again. I hope Elladan is right. I hope Haldir really did know what I wanted to say and I hope he truly did understand why I couldn't bring myself to say it.
I have always been very emotional, even for an Elf, though I am shy about expressing my emotions verbally. I perfer to let my actions speak for my heart. What I am afraid of now is that I wasn't clear enough with Haldir. I am afraid that he thought I was simply using him as a diversion while I was in Lothlorien. I am terrified that he never knew that I counted him as a true friend, not simply an acquaintance. If only I had told him, if only I had simply said the words.
"Henion-e." It is repeated more emphatically and finally I raise my eyes to meet Elladan's. I see in them only truth and honesty. He knows that what he says is right. There is no doubt there so I believe my old friend. I have to. If I don't my doubt and grief will consume me.
"Hannon-le." I move from Elrohir's arms to Elladan's, giving him a grateful hug. He holds me close for long moments then eases me away, his keen eyes searching me. Rest now. His long fingers sweep a lock of hair back behind my ear before he moves to give me room to lie down.
While I am tired and would dearly like to sleep, I do not want to be alone. I would feel far more comfortable if Elladan and Elrohir would remain with me. "U-awartha enni. Saes." {Do not abandon me. Please.} I reach out and grasp their hands, both asking and demanding at the same time.
Elrohir leans forward and kisses my brow softly before gesturing back to the bed. "Dar-enno." {We will remain} Finally, tired past the point of exhaustion, I allow myself to fall backwards onto the bed and it is not long before I drift off into Elven dreams, comforted by Elladan curled up at my side and Elrohir softly stroking my face and hair. I can only wish that Haldir felt this loved and comforted as he passed from this existance.
i must say that some of this Sindarin is wrong. i know that. what i *don't* know is how to correct it. if any of you know, please, PLEASE tell me (nicely). i will admit some of it is ... not made up, but kinda...... improvised. i tried very hard to do it right and i do have to give credit to the Sindarin Dictionary Project. thanks guys! now, on with the show.
********
Helm's Deep is so empty that my footsteps echo as I make my way through the corridors to the hall where I know the twins have been assigned rooms. I knock softly on Elrohir's door then push it open slightly without waiting for an answer. I have been friends with the twins for most of my life and we are very close, taking liberties that would earn anyone else a sharp reprimand.
I am not surprised to see the twins sitting on the bed, deep in quiet conversation; the two never spend much time apart. I slip silently into the room, softly closing the door behind me. As I approach, two dark heads turn toward me and I am studied by two identical sets of stormy grey eyes. Without a word, Elladan holds out his hand and I move to the bed, sitting beside the pair.
I can feel them looking at me, though I refuse to meet their eyes for if I do I will only see more understanding and compassion than I can possibly bear. They are far older than I and have suffered much heart-ache and grief. They know far too well what I am feeling right now.
Long, tapered fingers frame my face and a soft voice whispers in my ear. "Vin niniel ernil." {Our tearful prince.} I bite my lower lip to keep from crying out though I cannot stop the traitorous tears that seep from my eyes. I am trying so hard to keep myself together... It's not only Haldir's death that is causing me so much turmoil, but the relief of knowing that our mad quest is over. In retrospect it is wonderous that we made it through fully intact save Boromir and poor Frodo's finger.
"Leithio baul lin, Legolas." {Release your torment.} This time it is Elrohir who speaks, a sort of urgency in his voice. He knows as well as I do that if I keep this bottled up it will eventually kill me. "Im mela le, meldir."
Those four words undo me. Those four words that I could never speak to Haldir, that I desperately wish to say to him now. Those four words thrown at me. I begin to tremble and a strong pair of arms comes around me, pulling me into a warm embrace. I am surrounded by the soothing smell of horses, leather and hay and I settle more comfortably into Elrohir's arms.
With my face now hidden against my friend's chest, I feel no guilt for the tears that leave warm wet streaks down my cheeks. So much has changed in the last few months and I don't know if I am strong enough to deal with those changes. All I really want to do is hide from the outside world. Maybe I will do something along those lines... perhaps Gimli will actually hold me to our little deal. I will travel with him through the Glittering Caves if he will accompany me through Fangorn.
While it does sound like a nice little journey, it is not what I was originally planning on doing after this was all over. Before I left Lorien Haldir made me promise that I would return and spend much time with him, in happier days, with a lighter heart. I agreed wholeheartedly, promising that I would return as quickly as possible. My heart weeps that I had to break that promise. I didn't mean to... I would do anything to have him here with me again. If he was only here I would tell him what I couldn't tell him before. I would tell him how much he helped me, how much he means to me, how much I love him.
"Henion-e." {He understood} I startle at both the quiet voice which intrudes on my personal reflection and at the unspoken truths behind it. It seems that at least one of my friends has been peeking in on my thoughts, though I can't really blame them. I must seem on the verge of madness to them and they are only trying to protect and help me. When I think of what those words really mean, though, I begin to lose it again. I hope Elladan is right. I hope Haldir really did know what I wanted to say and I hope he truly did understand why I couldn't bring myself to say it.
I have always been very emotional, even for an Elf, though I am shy about expressing my emotions verbally. I perfer to let my actions speak for my heart. What I am afraid of now is that I wasn't clear enough with Haldir. I am afraid that he thought I was simply using him as a diversion while I was in Lothlorien. I am terrified that he never knew that I counted him as a true friend, not simply an acquaintance. If only I had told him, if only I had simply said the words.
"Henion-e." It is repeated more emphatically and finally I raise my eyes to meet Elladan's. I see in them only truth and honesty. He knows that what he says is right. There is no doubt there so I believe my old friend. I have to. If I don't my doubt and grief will consume me.
"Hannon-le." I move from Elrohir's arms to Elladan's, giving him a grateful hug. He holds me close for long moments then eases me away, his keen eyes searching me. Rest now. His long fingers sweep a lock of hair back behind my ear before he moves to give me room to lie down.
While I am tired and would dearly like to sleep, I do not want to be alone. I would feel far more comfortable if Elladan and Elrohir would remain with me. "U-awartha enni. Saes." {Do not abandon me. Please.} I reach out and grasp their hands, both asking and demanding at the same time.
Elrohir leans forward and kisses my brow softly before gesturing back to the bed. "Dar-enno." {We will remain} Finally, tired past the point of exhaustion, I allow myself to fall backwards onto the bed and it is not long before I drift off into Elven dreams, comforted by Elladan curled up at my side and Elrohir softly stroking my face and hair. I can only wish that Haldir felt this loved and comforted as he passed from this existance.