I'd like to give my respects to the family of the Columbia's crew, and to the souls of the crew. This was a tragedy, that I hope does not happen again. Goddess bless them on their way to the afterlife.
One Hell of a Birthday
by SplendiferGoddess
booya! and another chapter bites the dust! [that song was on the radio when i woke up this morning... you know? queen's 'another one bites the dust'? bleh. it was scary]
And yes, in direct response to a review i recieved today [the 31st]! It is *indeed* another fic about people getting sucked into a fandom! It's a humour! It's a spoof! It's funny! That's why I wrote it!
Well, also because it was Crimson Starlight's bday on the 28th, and this is part of her bday prezzy from me... so anyways - on with the chap!
==========
Chapter Four: To Thranduil's Place We Go!
==========
Over the next few months, Diane and Haldir became very close - sometimes to the point where, Ayla felt like either gagging, gagging one or both of them, or both. When Diane wasn't with Haldir, she was with Ayla, Gandalf, or the some combination of the three friends.
Gandalf, too, became a close friend of the girls, but he formed a stronger bond with Ayla, as he spent more time with her than Diane, who spent much of her time with Haldir. The two - Gandalf and Ayla - spent a lot of time in the library, reading together and talking about all sorts of things. Gandalf was even teaching Ayla to read and speak Elvish. Diane was learning some from Haldir.
It turned out that Gandalf was also going to be going to Mirkwood, so they decided that he would come with them.
"What is this?" Diane had asked. "Does everybody just kind of gravitate from Rivendell to Mirkwood?"
"Yes," Gandalf had answered seriously. Then he had laughed.
"I think you've been spending to much time with Ayla," Diane had laughed. "She's rubbing off on you." Ayla had just grinned.
So, finally the day of their departure was apon them. Diane and Ayla couldn't help but notice that Lord Elrond seemed rather relieved to see the two of them going. They had had a few run-ins with the Elf over their stay - nothing serious, but enough to irritate him. The girls had noticed that when he was aggravated, he did this funny eye twitch-thing, and it sent them into mad fits of giggles every time they saw it, so they bugged him constantly, just to see the eye twitch. Ayla had also pointed out that he had the funniest facial expressions, and the two found it very fun to see them change, so they did everything in their power to evoke different expressions.
Most of the time they only got irritation, boredom, or an incredilous 'why-me?' look.
So anyways, they set off immediately after breakfast. Gandalf was riding the horse he had arrived on, Broniatha, Diane and Ayla were on their horses from Lothlorien, Carmë[art] and Lav[lick], respectively, and Haldir was on his horse, Alcarinquë["The Glorious", name of a star/planet ].
---
They traveled many miles before lunch, although they were in no hurry. The company was content to canter along quietly enjoying the sights, sounds, and just generally enjoying themselves.
They stopped for lunch in clearing by a stream. They eagerly dug in to the food.
"Haldir," Ayla said. "I have a question."
"Yes?" he replied.
"How come your eyebrows don't match your haircolour?"
Diane giggled. Haldir shot her a look and then turned to Ayla. "Pardon me?" he asked.
"Your eyebrows," Ayla repeated. "They don't match your -"
"I *heard* what you said," he cut her off, quite sharply. I looked taken aback.
"I was just wondering," she mumbled. "No need to get snarky." She huffed and turned back to her food. Haldir placed his nearly empty dish down and stood up.
"I think I will go take a look around the woods for a little while. We should set off again in a short while." He stalked off into the trees. Gandalf was seemingly oblivious to it all and continued to munch away at his food. Diane rolled her eyes and got up.
"I'll go after him," she said. Ayla gave her an apologetic look. "Don't worry, Ayla. You and I both know he's got a stick up his butt sometimes." Ayla couldn't help but snort. She nodded and Diane took off in the direction that Haldir had gone.
Ayla turned to Gandalf. "You don't seem too surprised at what happened," she said.
"I have no reason to be," he replied. "You and Haldir have very different personalities. It is not surprising that the two of you will clash from time to time. Besides, I find it rather amusing when he, as Diane says, has a 'stick up his butt'." Ayla laughed and rolled her eyes, turning back to her food.
---
"Haldir?" Diane was walking along through the woods. "Haldir, come on. She didn't mean to offend you." A few moments later, she found him, sitting on a log, whittling a flute out of a small branch. She sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. She peered up at him and stuck out her lower lip, batting her lashes. "Haldir?" she said, making full use of the 'puppy-dog' face. He looked down at her and smiled softly.
"You make me laugh, do you know?" he said, putting down the carving and the knife. He reached up to her face and ran a finger over a lock of her short blonde hair. She smiled. "You are beautiful," he whispered, leaning foreward and softly kissing her. He pulled back and she sat up straight.
"Don't let Ayla get to you," she said, taking his left hand in her right. She started to trace the contours of the back of his hand with her left hand. "She gets like that sometimes. Doesn't think before she talks. Runs off at the mouth." Haldir laughed.
"I know," he said. "I should not have let her irritate me." Diane suddebly got an idea.
"I know a way to relax you," she said. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she smiled, almost evilly. "Straddle the log, back facing me," she ordered. Haldir did so, not sure what she wanted. Diane then straddled the log herself, facing his back, and placed her hands on his shoulders. She slowly began to massage, starting at the base of his neck and moving t his shoudlers, and then upper back and then back to his shoulders and neck.
After a while, he turned around and grabbed hold of her hands. "My turn," he said with a small smirk and a raised eyebrow. Diane grinned.
---
Ayla was washing up the dishes in the stream, and Gandalf was repacking the rest of the things and placing the packs back onto the horses. Ayla finished the last dish, put it in the last pack and handed it to Gandalf.
A few moments later, Diane and Haldir wandered back into the clearing, looking rather disheveled.
"I don't even wanna know," Ayla said, pointing at the scratch on Diane's arm and the bruise tear on the shoulder of Haldir's shirt.
"Trees are stupid," Diane replied.
"Don't say that too loud, the Ents might hear," Ayla shot back, giggling. Diane stuck her tongue out and walked over to Carmë.
"Hey, sweetie, how's life?" she said to the horse. Ayla giggled.
They were soon mounted up and on their way again.
---
The rest of the trip to Mirkwood was rather uneventful until their last night before reaching the Elven kingdom.
It was very late, and Ayla was walking back to the campsite from the designated bathroom site. She was wondering why none of the fanfictions she had ever read delved into the question of bathroom breaks while traveling. She had always wondered if maybe bodily functions just kind of went on 'hold' while traveling in a fanfic. Either that, or nobody wanted to read - or write, for that matter - about their beloved Aragorn or Gimli answering that specific call of nature.
Yes, this was Ayla's rather disturbing train of thought as she arrived back at the campsite. She promptly stopped thinking when she noticed that Gandalf was awake and sitting by the stream that they were camped by.
Diane had noted earlier that they seemed quite blessed to always be camped by water, and Ayla had joked that maybe it was some all-pwerful Author's plot device. They had both reguarded the little stream with some suspicion after that.
Who wouldn't? Especially being from a world where such plot dveices were contrived daily by rabid fangirls?
"Gandalf?" Ayla asked, coming back to reality, or whatever it could be called. He looked up at her and smiled, taking a puff off his pipe. "Something the matter?" she asked, walking up and sitting down next to him. She plucked a piece of grass from the ground and nibbled at the white end of it.
"Oh, no," Gandalf replied. "I was just entertaining some thoughts."
"Do tell!" Ayla said, plucking another piece of grass.
"Oh, you do not want to be bored by the mullings of an ancient wizard such as myself," he said.
"Oh, don't be a fool," Ayla laughed, staring up at the sky. It was littered with a glittering blanket of stars, winking away in the night. "I love hearing your ideas," she continued. "They are so interesting! Please, Gandalf, tell me of what you were thinking."
Gandalf chuckled. "Oh, Ayla," he said. "You are quite the character. Never have I met one such as you, that is for certain."
Ayla grinned. "Thank you," she said happily.
"Ayla," Gandalf said. "Would you ever consider being romantically attached to an old fool such as myself?"
Ayla stared at him in shock for moment. "Are - are you asking me to be... your - your girlfriend?" she stuttered. He nodded. "I - I will need some... time to think about this, Gandalf," she said.
"Of course, Ayla. I understand."
Ayla shakily got up and stumbled over to her bedroll.
'Oi' was the last thought in her head as she fell asleep.
---
The next day was rather quiet, at least on Ayla and Gandalf's parts. Diane and Haldir, on the other hand, were talking up a storm.
After a while, Diane fell back until she and Ayla were riding side by side.
"What's up?" she asked, concerned for her friend. If Ayla wasn't blabbering like a drunk gibbon at least fourteen hours out of the day, something was most likely up.
Ayla smiled awkwardly and relayed the previous night's conversation to her. Diane stared at her in surprise.
"You're kidding, right?" she asked. Ayla shook her head. "Oi."
"My words exactly," Ayla replied.
---
Finally, they reached Mirkwood, and Thranduil himself met them. Ayla and Diane were 'ooh'ing and 'ah'ing the entire first fifteen minutes they were in the woods. After that it was less frequent, but still intermitent in their talk.
Thranduil got some servants to show them their rooms, and there they changed and then were led to the dining hall. They were shown their places amongst the few other Mirkwood guests. Then the royal family entered.
Diane stared at Prince Legolas, mouth open. Haldir noticed and seemed ratehr perturbed. Ayla actually fell off of her chair. Everybody - including Legolas - stared at her as she scrambled back up onto her chair. She grinned around at the table and settled herself back down comfortably. Legolas raised an eyebrow and shot his father a questionaing glance. Thranduil shrugged slightly in response.
Soon, everybody was seated and enjoying the meal. Diane and Ayla didn't say much, but listened to the conversations shooting around the room. A few times, the girls piped up, but for the most part, Ayla stared at Legolas and Diane and Haldir played footsies under the table.
Ayla had noticed half way through the meal what the two were up to and nearly snorted some of the Elven wine she was drinking up and out of her nose. AFter that, she had spent a good part of the meal not spent staring at Legolas, giggling at Diane and Haldir.
---
"I hate you," Diane grumbled that night, after dinner. She and Ayla were standing on the balcony of the room they were sharing. Bubbles the Bunny was happily munching on a carrot in a small area they had blocked off for him.
"I know you do, but ya gotta love me, too!" Ayla replied, laughing.
"Have you thought about Gandalf's proposition?" Diane asked suddenly. Ayla frowned.
"Yes," she asnwered.
"And? What's your answer?"
"I don't know."
======================
The horses names are actual elvish words. Yay! Gandalf was on Broniatha, which is Sindarin for 'Will Endure'. Diane's horse was Carmë, which is Quenya for 'Art', and Ayla was on Lav which is Quenya for 'Lick' [a little bit of an in-joke there, eh Crimson?]. Haldir's horse was Alcarinquë - "The Glorious", name of a star/planet.
All this info I got from this site: http://www.uib.no/people/hnohf/ . the webmistress is like, tolkien linguist extrordinaire. AWESOME site. go see!
Bleh! That was a really difficult chapter to write. Bwee! Awkward!Gandalf! Much amusion, lol, but hell to write. So. Feedback is great. Whaddaya think? Good Bad? Bleh?
And! For those of you thinking 'What's with all the mush? I thought this was humour?' Take a second look at the genre - it's humour/romance. two of my fave genres to write. I LUFF writing romancey mushy smooshy scenes. heeeeee.
i'm particularily fond of the scene between diane and haldir near the beginning. bwa! so anyways, i'll go now and let you gt on with your day,
-SplendiferGoddess
One Hell of a Birthday
by SplendiferGoddess
booya! and another chapter bites the dust! [that song was on the radio when i woke up this morning... you know? queen's 'another one bites the dust'? bleh. it was scary]
And yes, in direct response to a review i recieved today [the 31st]! It is *indeed* another fic about people getting sucked into a fandom! It's a humour! It's a spoof! It's funny! That's why I wrote it!
Well, also because it was Crimson Starlight's bday on the 28th, and this is part of her bday prezzy from me... so anyways - on with the chap!
==========
Chapter Four: To Thranduil's Place We Go!
==========
Over the next few months, Diane and Haldir became very close - sometimes to the point where, Ayla felt like either gagging, gagging one or both of them, or both. When Diane wasn't with Haldir, she was with Ayla, Gandalf, or the some combination of the three friends.
Gandalf, too, became a close friend of the girls, but he formed a stronger bond with Ayla, as he spent more time with her than Diane, who spent much of her time with Haldir. The two - Gandalf and Ayla - spent a lot of time in the library, reading together and talking about all sorts of things. Gandalf was even teaching Ayla to read and speak Elvish. Diane was learning some from Haldir.
It turned out that Gandalf was also going to be going to Mirkwood, so they decided that he would come with them.
"What is this?" Diane had asked. "Does everybody just kind of gravitate from Rivendell to Mirkwood?"
"Yes," Gandalf had answered seriously. Then he had laughed.
"I think you've been spending to much time with Ayla," Diane had laughed. "She's rubbing off on you." Ayla had just grinned.
So, finally the day of their departure was apon them. Diane and Ayla couldn't help but notice that Lord Elrond seemed rather relieved to see the two of them going. They had had a few run-ins with the Elf over their stay - nothing serious, but enough to irritate him. The girls had noticed that when he was aggravated, he did this funny eye twitch-thing, and it sent them into mad fits of giggles every time they saw it, so they bugged him constantly, just to see the eye twitch. Ayla had also pointed out that he had the funniest facial expressions, and the two found it very fun to see them change, so they did everything in their power to evoke different expressions.
Most of the time they only got irritation, boredom, or an incredilous 'why-me?' look.
So anyways, they set off immediately after breakfast. Gandalf was riding the horse he had arrived on, Broniatha, Diane and Ayla were on their horses from Lothlorien, Carmë[art] and Lav[lick], respectively, and Haldir was on his horse, Alcarinquë["The Glorious", name of a star/planet ].
---
They traveled many miles before lunch, although they were in no hurry. The company was content to canter along quietly enjoying the sights, sounds, and just generally enjoying themselves.
They stopped for lunch in clearing by a stream. They eagerly dug in to the food.
"Haldir," Ayla said. "I have a question."
"Yes?" he replied.
"How come your eyebrows don't match your haircolour?"
Diane giggled. Haldir shot her a look and then turned to Ayla. "Pardon me?" he asked.
"Your eyebrows," Ayla repeated. "They don't match your -"
"I *heard* what you said," he cut her off, quite sharply. I looked taken aback.
"I was just wondering," she mumbled. "No need to get snarky." She huffed and turned back to her food. Haldir placed his nearly empty dish down and stood up.
"I think I will go take a look around the woods for a little while. We should set off again in a short while." He stalked off into the trees. Gandalf was seemingly oblivious to it all and continued to munch away at his food. Diane rolled her eyes and got up.
"I'll go after him," she said. Ayla gave her an apologetic look. "Don't worry, Ayla. You and I both know he's got a stick up his butt sometimes." Ayla couldn't help but snort. She nodded and Diane took off in the direction that Haldir had gone.
Ayla turned to Gandalf. "You don't seem too surprised at what happened," she said.
"I have no reason to be," he replied. "You and Haldir have very different personalities. It is not surprising that the two of you will clash from time to time. Besides, I find it rather amusing when he, as Diane says, has a 'stick up his butt'." Ayla laughed and rolled her eyes, turning back to her food.
---
"Haldir?" Diane was walking along through the woods. "Haldir, come on. She didn't mean to offend you." A few moments later, she found him, sitting on a log, whittling a flute out of a small branch. She sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. She peered up at him and stuck out her lower lip, batting her lashes. "Haldir?" she said, making full use of the 'puppy-dog' face. He looked down at her and smiled softly.
"You make me laugh, do you know?" he said, putting down the carving and the knife. He reached up to her face and ran a finger over a lock of her short blonde hair. She smiled. "You are beautiful," he whispered, leaning foreward and softly kissing her. He pulled back and she sat up straight.
"Don't let Ayla get to you," she said, taking his left hand in her right. She started to trace the contours of the back of his hand with her left hand. "She gets like that sometimes. Doesn't think before she talks. Runs off at the mouth." Haldir laughed.
"I know," he said. "I should not have let her irritate me." Diane suddebly got an idea.
"I know a way to relax you," she said. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she smiled, almost evilly. "Straddle the log, back facing me," she ordered. Haldir did so, not sure what she wanted. Diane then straddled the log herself, facing his back, and placed her hands on his shoulders. She slowly began to massage, starting at the base of his neck and moving t his shoudlers, and then upper back and then back to his shoulders and neck.
After a while, he turned around and grabbed hold of her hands. "My turn," he said with a small smirk and a raised eyebrow. Diane grinned.
---
Ayla was washing up the dishes in the stream, and Gandalf was repacking the rest of the things and placing the packs back onto the horses. Ayla finished the last dish, put it in the last pack and handed it to Gandalf.
A few moments later, Diane and Haldir wandered back into the clearing, looking rather disheveled.
"I don't even wanna know," Ayla said, pointing at the scratch on Diane's arm and the bruise tear on the shoulder of Haldir's shirt.
"Trees are stupid," Diane replied.
"Don't say that too loud, the Ents might hear," Ayla shot back, giggling. Diane stuck her tongue out and walked over to Carmë.
"Hey, sweetie, how's life?" she said to the horse. Ayla giggled.
They were soon mounted up and on their way again.
---
The rest of the trip to Mirkwood was rather uneventful until their last night before reaching the Elven kingdom.
It was very late, and Ayla was walking back to the campsite from the designated bathroom site. She was wondering why none of the fanfictions she had ever read delved into the question of bathroom breaks while traveling. She had always wondered if maybe bodily functions just kind of went on 'hold' while traveling in a fanfic. Either that, or nobody wanted to read - or write, for that matter - about their beloved Aragorn or Gimli answering that specific call of nature.
Yes, this was Ayla's rather disturbing train of thought as she arrived back at the campsite. She promptly stopped thinking when she noticed that Gandalf was awake and sitting by the stream that they were camped by.
Diane had noted earlier that they seemed quite blessed to always be camped by water, and Ayla had joked that maybe it was some all-pwerful Author's plot device. They had both reguarded the little stream with some suspicion after that.
Who wouldn't? Especially being from a world where such plot dveices were contrived daily by rabid fangirls?
"Gandalf?" Ayla asked, coming back to reality, or whatever it could be called. He looked up at her and smiled, taking a puff off his pipe. "Something the matter?" she asked, walking up and sitting down next to him. She plucked a piece of grass from the ground and nibbled at the white end of it.
"Oh, no," Gandalf replied. "I was just entertaining some thoughts."
"Do tell!" Ayla said, plucking another piece of grass.
"Oh, you do not want to be bored by the mullings of an ancient wizard such as myself," he said.
"Oh, don't be a fool," Ayla laughed, staring up at the sky. It was littered with a glittering blanket of stars, winking away in the night. "I love hearing your ideas," she continued. "They are so interesting! Please, Gandalf, tell me of what you were thinking."
Gandalf chuckled. "Oh, Ayla," he said. "You are quite the character. Never have I met one such as you, that is for certain."
Ayla grinned. "Thank you," she said happily.
"Ayla," Gandalf said. "Would you ever consider being romantically attached to an old fool such as myself?"
Ayla stared at him in shock for moment. "Are - are you asking me to be... your - your girlfriend?" she stuttered. He nodded. "I - I will need some... time to think about this, Gandalf," she said.
"Of course, Ayla. I understand."
Ayla shakily got up and stumbled over to her bedroll.
'Oi' was the last thought in her head as she fell asleep.
---
The next day was rather quiet, at least on Ayla and Gandalf's parts. Diane and Haldir, on the other hand, were talking up a storm.
After a while, Diane fell back until she and Ayla were riding side by side.
"What's up?" she asked, concerned for her friend. If Ayla wasn't blabbering like a drunk gibbon at least fourteen hours out of the day, something was most likely up.
Ayla smiled awkwardly and relayed the previous night's conversation to her. Diane stared at her in surprise.
"You're kidding, right?" she asked. Ayla shook her head. "Oi."
"My words exactly," Ayla replied.
---
Finally, they reached Mirkwood, and Thranduil himself met them. Ayla and Diane were 'ooh'ing and 'ah'ing the entire first fifteen minutes they were in the woods. After that it was less frequent, but still intermitent in their talk.
Thranduil got some servants to show them their rooms, and there they changed and then were led to the dining hall. They were shown their places amongst the few other Mirkwood guests. Then the royal family entered.
Diane stared at Prince Legolas, mouth open. Haldir noticed and seemed ratehr perturbed. Ayla actually fell off of her chair. Everybody - including Legolas - stared at her as she scrambled back up onto her chair. She grinned around at the table and settled herself back down comfortably. Legolas raised an eyebrow and shot his father a questionaing glance. Thranduil shrugged slightly in response.
Soon, everybody was seated and enjoying the meal. Diane and Ayla didn't say much, but listened to the conversations shooting around the room. A few times, the girls piped up, but for the most part, Ayla stared at Legolas and Diane and Haldir played footsies under the table.
Ayla had noticed half way through the meal what the two were up to and nearly snorted some of the Elven wine she was drinking up and out of her nose. AFter that, she had spent a good part of the meal not spent staring at Legolas, giggling at Diane and Haldir.
---
"I hate you," Diane grumbled that night, after dinner. She and Ayla were standing on the balcony of the room they were sharing. Bubbles the Bunny was happily munching on a carrot in a small area they had blocked off for him.
"I know you do, but ya gotta love me, too!" Ayla replied, laughing.
"Have you thought about Gandalf's proposition?" Diane asked suddenly. Ayla frowned.
"Yes," she asnwered.
"And? What's your answer?"
"I don't know."
======================
The horses names are actual elvish words. Yay! Gandalf was on Broniatha, which is Sindarin for 'Will Endure'. Diane's horse was Carmë, which is Quenya for 'Art', and Ayla was on Lav which is Quenya for 'Lick' [a little bit of an in-joke there, eh Crimson?]. Haldir's horse was Alcarinquë - "The Glorious", name of a star/planet.
All this info I got from this site: http://www.uib.no/people/hnohf/ . the webmistress is like, tolkien linguist extrordinaire. AWESOME site. go see!
Bleh! That was a really difficult chapter to write. Bwee! Awkward!Gandalf! Much amusion, lol, but hell to write. So. Feedback is great. Whaddaya think? Good Bad? Bleh?
And! For those of you thinking 'What's with all the mush? I thought this was humour?' Take a second look at the genre - it's humour/romance. two of my fave genres to write. I LUFF writing romancey mushy smooshy scenes. heeeeee.
i'm particularily fond of the scene between diane and haldir near the beginning. bwa! so anyways, i'll go now and let you gt on with your day,
-SplendiferGoddess