Chapter Ten: As if Time Doesn't Matter
Numbly, Courtney entered Jason's penthouse. She couldn't feel the earth under her feet or even Jason's hand on her arm leading her to the couch. All she knew was that her pride was hurt and so was her heart. Was she really a whore? Is that all people saw her as? Just a nasty young whore who put her trust and heart to a man that didn't even want her.
She felt so used and dirty. AJ had taken advantage of her time and time again, yet she made love. no. @#&% willingly. Closing her eyes, she finally let the tears fall. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she buried her face into them.
Jason watched her; his heart breaking every second he did. Courtney didn't deserve so much pain. She deserved a good life with a kind and loving husband and kids running around. Secretly, he wanted to be the husband, but he wasn't sure if she'd ever give him the second chance to be one.
Rubbing her arm supportively, Jason asked cautiously, "Would you like anything to drink? Coffee?"
Courtney answered him with a slight shake of the head telling him not to get her anything. Her eyes shining with unshed tears, she looked at Jason and shakily, she asked, "Do. do you think I'm a whore?"
Jason shook his head trying to reassure her, "No, Courtney. You're not a whore. You're a beautiful, young, talented woman that deserves the best. You don't deserve some one like AJ who treated you like you were nothing."
Courtney laughed a hollow laugh, "You don't get it, Jase. He treated me like a princess! He made me feel so good! I hadn't felt this good since." Her voice trailed off as she looked away from his eyes.
Jason nodded and looked down at his hands guiltily, "Us."
Courtney stared back into his eyes and nodded, "Yeah, us."
An awkward silence was followed by that comment. Neither knew what to say and neither wanted to go down memory lane. They had good times together, as well as bad, but right now, all they could think about was the break up.
Jason shifted uncomfortably and stammered, "Uh. are you sure that you don't want that drink?"
Courtney shook her head, running her hand nervously through her hair, "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm fine." She let out a nervous chuckle. Quickly stopping her giggle, she looked away from those blue eyes she could get lost in so easily.
Jason nodded. Then bravely, he said, "Courtney, I never meant to hurt you that night."
Courtney turned back to him suddenly, realizing that he was talking about that night. Courtney felt the hurt well up in her heart and nodded, "But ya did, Jason. There's nothing you can do about that."
Jason shook his head, "I was trying to protect you. I loved you so much that I had to push you away. I was getting in too deep and I needed to pull away. I was moving and starting a new work."
"With Sonny?" Courtney asked, already knowing the answer.
Jason nodded affirmatively, "With Sonny."
Courtney rolled her eyes and breathed out an exasperated breath, "Why couldn't you just let yourself be with me? Why couldn't I come with you? Jason, you gave me a promise ring; that we would be together forever."
Jason nodded, "I know I did, but you have to understand I changed my mind." After saying this, Jason wished he hadn't. He had just hurt Courtney with those words.
Courtney felt her heart breaking. Twice, she had her heart broken today. Taking a steadying breath, she looked Jason square in the eyes and said, "You changed your mind that quickly? You didn't want to be with me longer than you had to? What was I? Just some younger girl who you accidentally fell in love with and oops! You didn't want to make a commitment so you decide to break her heart?" Rolling her eyes to hide her hurt, she added sarcastically, placing a hand over her heart, "I'm flattered, Jason. I really am."
Jason exhaled slowly and rubbed his temples. Looking back at her, he shook his head, "We've already been over this. I loved you with all my heart. I don't say I love someone just to say it, Courtney. I mean it when I say it."
Courtney nodded in defeat, "I know. I'm just. hurt, that's all. Hormones are running out of control." It was true; Courtney had been feeling out of control lately. Since Jason was around, she couldn't concentrate and she just felt so overwhelmed.
Jason nodded, understanding the feeling. Taking her hand in his, he looked deeply into her eyes, "I still care a lot about you, Courtney. I would never want anything to happen to you. And it makes me so angry that AJ would do or say such a thing to you to make you doubt yourself. It hurts me to see you hurting over AJ. I could rip AJ limb from limb if I wanted to, but I won't, because I know you wouldn't want me to do that."
Courtney palmed Jason's cheek, and smiled slightly, "How is it you always know what to say to me, Jason Morgan? How could I ever doubt our friendship?"
Jason shrugged modestly. Taking a stand, he walked to the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, he called out to Courtney, "You want me to order some pizza?"
Courtney had followed him into his kitchen. Almost laughing, she asked, not answering his question, "You come in here much?"
"Nope," Jason looked at her sincerely. Blushing slightly, he added, "I don't even know where most things are in here."
Courtney laughed, "I could've guessed that. Anyway, I should be going." Courtney started towards the door.
"But you don't have anywhere to go," Jason objected, not wanted her to leave.
"AJ and I have had fights before and I stayed over at Sonny's. I have clothes over there and that's where I'm going now," Courtney explained to Jason, grabbing her coat.
"Are you sure you want to face Sonny tonight?" Jason asked, knowing Courtney and knowing she was mentally exhausted from that night's happenings.
Courtney looked over her shoulder at Jason, contemplating whether or not she wanted to tell Sonny that night or not. Shrugging, she answered him, "Not really, but I guess I'm going to have to."
"You could stay here just for tonight," Jason offered and then added quickly, "I mean, if you want."
Courtney smiled at him, "I'd like that. Thanks, Jase."
He nodded, grinning, "No problem."
Looking around, Courtney asked, "So where do I sleep?"
Jason showed her up the stairs and to the right. He opened the door to a guest bedroom that had been kept tidy and clean by the cleaning woman that kept the rooms tidy in Harbor View Towers.
The room was not really decorative. The walls were white with moldings of cherry finish. There was queen, cherry-stained, poster bed in the center of the back wall with sheets of deep burgundy and a down comforter of a rich midnight black. Next to the bed was a cherry-stained nightstand with a quaint reading lamp sitting on top of it. In the diagonal corner was a tall dresser stained cherry. The room was magnificently plain, but beautiful nonetheless.
Courtney glanced sideways at Jason, "This is beautiful Jason."
"Carly decorated. I just let her take over. I had nothing to do with it," Jason told Courtney blandly.
Courtney laughed at his dry sense of humor. Taking off her jacket, she threw it to the bed. Turning to Jason, she asked a little shyly, with a blush creeping up her cheeks, "Do you have anything I could wear to bed?"
Jason nodded and was back in minutes with a pair of his favorite red boxers and a black T-shirt. Handing them to her, he smiled, "Will these do?"
Courtney nodded, "These are just fine, thank-you." Taking the clothes out of his hands, she lay them on her bed. Turning back to Jason, she smiled, "Good night, Jason."
Standing in the doorway, Jason nodded, "Night." He slowly closed the door to her bedroom. Leaning against the door, he sighed. He missed her so much. Kissing his fingers and pressing them to the door, he whispered, "I love you, Courtney."
Courtney lay back in her bed, having changed into his clothes quickly. Closing her eyes, she realized how much Jason meant to her and how much she missed him. Drifting slowly to sleep, she whispered to herself, "I love you, Jason."
Numbly, Courtney entered Jason's penthouse. She couldn't feel the earth under her feet or even Jason's hand on her arm leading her to the couch. All she knew was that her pride was hurt and so was her heart. Was she really a whore? Is that all people saw her as? Just a nasty young whore who put her trust and heart to a man that didn't even want her.
She felt so used and dirty. AJ had taken advantage of her time and time again, yet she made love. no. @#&% willingly. Closing her eyes, she finally let the tears fall. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she buried her face into them.
Jason watched her; his heart breaking every second he did. Courtney didn't deserve so much pain. She deserved a good life with a kind and loving husband and kids running around. Secretly, he wanted to be the husband, but he wasn't sure if she'd ever give him the second chance to be one.
Rubbing her arm supportively, Jason asked cautiously, "Would you like anything to drink? Coffee?"
Courtney answered him with a slight shake of the head telling him not to get her anything. Her eyes shining with unshed tears, she looked at Jason and shakily, she asked, "Do. do you think I'm a whore?"
Jason shook his head trying to reassure her, "No, Courtney. You're not a whore. You're a beautiful, young, talented woman that deserves the best. You don't deserve some one like AJ who treated you like you were nothing."
Courtney laughed a hollow laugh, "You don't get it, Jase. He treated me like a princess! He made me feel so good! I hadn't felt this good since." Her voice trailed off as she looked away from his eyes.
Jason nodded and looked down at his hands guiltily, "Us."
Courtney stared back into his eyes and nodded, "Yeah, us."
An awkward silence was followed by that comment. Neither knew what to say and neither wanted to go down memory lane. They had good times together, as well as bad, but right now, all they could think about was the break up.
Jason shifted uncomfortably and stammered, "Uh. are you sure that you don't want that drink?"
Courtney shook her head, running her hand nervously through her hair, "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm fine." She let out a nervous chuckle. Quickly stopping her giggle, she looked away from those blue eyes she could get lost in so easily.
Jason nodded. Then bravely, he said, "Courtney, I never meant to hurt you that night."
Courtney turned back to him suddenly, realizing that he was talking about that night. Courtney felt the hurt well up in her heart and nodded, "But ya did, Jason. There's nothing you can do about that."
Jason shook his head, "I was trying to protect you. I loved you so much that I had to push you away. I was getting in too deep and I needed to pull away. I was moving and starting a new work."
"With Sonny?" Courtney asked, already knowing the answer.
Jason nodded affirmatively, "With Sonny."
Courtney rolled her eyes and breathed out an exasperated breath, "Why couldn't you just let yourself be with me? Why couldn't I come with you? Jason, you gave me a promise ring; that we would be together forever."
Jason nodded, "I know I did, but you have to understand I changed my mind." After saying this, Jason wished he hadn't. He had just hurt Courtney with those words.
Courtney felt her heart breaking. Twice, she had her heart broken today. Taking a steadying breath, she looked Jason square in the eyes and said, "You changed your mind that quickly? You didn't want to be with me longer than you had to? What was I? Just some younger girl who you accidentally fell in love with and oops! You didn't want to make a commitment so you decide to break her heart?" Rolling her eyes to hide her hurt, she added sarcastically, placing a hand over her heart, "I'm flattered, Jason. I really am."
Jason exhaled slowly and rubbed his temples. Looking back at her, he shook his head, "We've already been over this. I loved you with all my heart. I don't say I love someone just to say it, Courtney. I mean it when I say it."
Courtney nodded in defeat, "I know. I'm just. hurt, that's all. Hormones are running out of control." It was true; Courtney had been feeling out of control lately. Since Jason was around, she couldn't concentrate and she just felt so overwhelmed.
Jason nodded, understanding the feeling. Taking her hand in his, he looked deeply into her eyes, "I still care a lot about you, Courtney. I would never want anything to happen to you. And it makes me so angry that AJ would do or say such a thing to you to make you doubt yourself. It hurts me to see you hurting over AJ. I could rip AJ limb from limb if I wanted to, but I won't, because I know you wouldn't want me to do that."
Courtney palmed Jason's cheek, and smiled slightly, "How is it you always know what to say to me, Jason Morgan? How could I ever doubt our friendship?"
Jason shrugged modestly. Taking a stand, he walked to the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, he called out to Courtney, "You want me to order some pizza?"
Courtney had followed him into his kitchen. Almost laughing, she asked, not answering his question, "You come in here much?"
"Nope," Jason looked at her sincerely. Blushing slightly, he added, "I don't even know where most things are in here."
Courtney laughed, "I could've guessed that. Anyway, I should be going." Courtney started towards the door.
"But you don't have anywhere to go," Jason objected, not wanted her to leave.
"AJ and I have had fights before and I stayed over at Sonny's. I have clothes over there and that's where I'm going now," Courtney explained to Jason, grabbing her coat.
"Are you sure you want to face Sonny tonight?" Jason asked, knowing Courtney and knowing she was mentally exhausted from that night's happenings.
Courtney looked over her shoulder at Jason, contemplating whether or not she wanted to tell Sonny that night or not. Shrugging, she answered him, "Not really, but I guess I'm going to have to."
"You could stay here just for tonight," Jason offered and then added quickly, "I mean, if you want."
Courtney smiled at him, "I'd like that. Thanks, Jase."
He nodded, grinning, "No problem."
Looking around, Courtney asked, "So where do I sleep?"
Jason showed her up the stairs and to the right. He opened the door to a guest bedroom that had been kept tidy and clean by the cleaning woman that kept the rooms tidy in Harbor View Towers.
The room was not really decorative. The walls were white with moldings of cherry finish. There was queen, cherry-stained, poster bed in the center of the back wall with sheets of deep burgundy and a down comforter of a rich midnight black. Next to the bed was a cherry-stained nightstand with a quaint reading lamp sitting on top of it. In the diagonal corner was a tall dresser stained cherry. The room was magnificently plain, but beautiful nonetheless.
Courtney glanced sideways at Jason, "This is beautiful Jason."
"Carly decorated. I just let her take over. I had nothing to do with it," Jason told Courtney blandly.
Courtney laughed at his dry sense of humor. Taking off her jacket, she threw it to the bed. Turning to Jason, she asked a little shyly, with a blush creeping up her cheeks, "Do you have anything I could wear to bed?"
Jason nodded and was back in minutes with a pair of his favorite red boxers and a black T-shirt. Handing them to her, he smiled, "Will these do?"
Courtney nodded, "These are just fine, thank-you." Taking the clothes out of his hands, she lay them on her bed. Turning back to Jason, she smiled, "Good night, Jason."
Standing in the doorway, Jason nodded, "Night." He slowly closed the door to her bedroom. Leaning against the door, he sighed. He missed her so much. Kissing his fingers and pressing them to the door, he whispered, "I love you, Courtney."
Courtney lay back in her bed, having changed into his clothes quickly. Closing her eyes, she realized how much Jason meant to her and how much she missed him. Drifting slowly to sleep, she whispered to herself, "I love you, Jason."