Disclaimer: I do not own THe Lord of hte Rings. It belongs to JRR Tolkien.
Author's Note:
My account had been locked so that I couldn't upload for the past week. But I got chapter 4 up here! Hope you enjoy! Especially my lovely Mary-Sue song at the end of the chapter. It's a re-written poem from the Ent's 'Doom to Isengard' song! My favorite poem... ^_^
And I have a site up! It explains part of this whole... story that I'm coming up with. It's what Tolkien's influence has rubbed on me. Really odd. Language, characters, maps, calender... and a mini-Silmarillion/Bible concept thing too... meep! I've been working on it for the last month and a half, and I would very much appreciate it if you were to stop by and give a few comments! The URL is:
http://naheka.tripod.com/dragoneyeryu
Thanks!
-Naheka
THE FILE CABINET
Walking around the rugged, green, Ping-Pong table that had just suddenly appeared in my office (Aremis and Aldarion were having a heated match, whacking that little white ball back and forth) I sat down at my desk again and looked down at my agenda again, just as I had this morning. Staring down the column, I realized that I still had that meeting with NahekaOC, and an important one at that. No chitter-chattering came from the cabinet beside me. Only the ticker-tackering of Joe's fingers punching buttons on a laptop, and the tock! coming from the Ping-Pong table were heard. It seemed too quiet. Much too peaceful.
Something was wrong.
Bang!
Nah. Something was just missing the chaos.
"Hey, Naheka!"
Phantom was a social person, the type to pop in whoever's office whether they knew them well or not, whether they were in the middle of work or not*. A thin, gray wolf tagged at her side. She called him Gollum. Also with her was Tiffany, a humanoid pink cat with green eyes and darker pink stripes. As usual, Tiff held a sugary piece of candy in her hands. This time, it was a half-eaten Hershey milk chocolate bar. Suddenly distracted by the little white ball going back and forth, she stood on the spot and watched the game go on. Joe shook his head and continued typing on his laptop.
"Hi, Phantom!" I replied, getting up from my seat to greet her with a hand-slap. "Anything new?"
"Other than the fact that there's an evil Mary-Sue lurking out in the woods," Phantom whispered mysteriously, "And that we're all going out to get some footage of it on camera," Gollum wolf barked at this point and handed a camcorder to her. "Thanks, Gollum." She pointed the camera at Joe. "Not much, really. Wave to the camera, Joe!"
Joe didn't reply as he leaned forward at the laptop screen and checked the little clock in the far bottom right corner. With a grunt, he closed the screen down, and got up from his seat, shuffling a crisp stack of papers as he moved. Pushing his chair in and neatly placing his pens and paper clips back in the old, empty jar of what used to be filled with 'Morgai Mayonnaise', he announced clearly in his business tone: "Off to the Secretary Meeting. I'll be back at," he checked his sterling silver pocket watch, "1:30 this evening. You'll still be here, right?"
"I'm here until 4:00, Joe," I said lazily, "Of course."
"And today's Tuesday, so I have to go teach the baking class how to turn on an oven at---"
"Yes! Yes. Community service thing, I know!"
With a nod, the Wraith took one last disapproving look at the 'Onimusha: Warlords' poster tacked up on the door, and exited my office with a thick swish of his tattered robes. Tiffany was still gazing at the Ping-Pong ball, even when it had bounced off the table, over the air conditioner, rebounded off the Fiction-Dome, clicked on the lock of the file cabinet, and right pass Phantom's head. I clenched my fists and shut my eyes in preparation for that little white sphere to come straight at my nose, but the tock never came. My eyes eased open.
"Simple enough!" exclaimed Onikunshu, spitting the Ping-Pong ball out of his mouth and into the tin trash can. "Catching a speeding bullet between teeth is easier than that!"
"Wait," countered NahekaOC, "Does that make sense?"
" I dunno'," replied Aldarion, searching his pocket for another ball, "I only learned how to climb trees. No one ever taught me how to spell... or add and subtract... or how to find density by diving mass over volume... or play the piano or---"
"Stupid child!" groaned Onikunshu.
"Argh! Stop insulting my child!" cried NahekaOC.
Phantom and I backed up as the assassins unsheathed knives again. We were prepared to take cover with some portfolios that were laying on my desk, but then we decided to completely hide under the desk when Narcisuss came in. A light sweep of paper across wood told me that she had gotten the mail. I reached over my head and on my desk top to retrieve them. As I flipped through the junk mail envelopes and flyers, Phantom listened to the panicked conversation taking place in the open area. It came hurriedly in quick speech.
"Aieee!" "What?" "Hey, you tried to kill me and my family in my own fantasy!" "And you actually love me!" "Yeah. So?" "That's not right! It's weird! It's paranormal!" "Dude, it's disturbing!" "Stay out of this Aldarion." "I'm not a dude!" "Stupid child." "Stop it!" "Why?" "Grrr." "I'm hungry." "You are boring!" "What does that have to do with anything?" "I don't know!" "Who's talking?" "I don't know." "You don't know anything." "Neither do you." "What are you talking about?" "Why do you always ask questions?" "What's wrong with loving a bloody evil and disrespectful bounty hunter?" "Everything." "Not! It's romantically tragic!" "Keyword: tragic." "Dude, we can talk for a long time, can't we?" "Aldarion, I don't like your slang thing, 'dude'." "I was only taught how to climb trees, dude!" "Don't call me dude!" "Dude!" "Nooooo!"
"Hey, look at this!" I announced, breaking up the gibbering OC's banter. I held up the bright orange flyer Miss Fiddlespork had offered me earlier this morning. Aside from the midnight blue script with BAN MARY-SUES, there was other text that offered cash to anyone who successfully killed a Mary-Sue. "You guys interested?"
An OC snatched the orange sheet out of my hands as I continued to flip through the mail. Sensing that it was safe, Phantom and I crawled out from under the desk and peered over the edge. All seven of my characters, Gollum wolf, and Tiffany were reading the flyer with great interest, especially the bounty hunters in the crowd, whose eyes were mutually lit with the identical flame of greed. That blind look had completely wrapped itself around their eyes.
"Do you have any idea how much that offer is worth?" asked NahekaOC in utter brilliance. "Look at that! Twenty reviews for a dead Mary-Sue! That's like... five qemba!"
"I know that!" snapped Onikunshu. "Imagine...."
Even five minutes later, when Tiffany had scampered off in realization that she had to attend the Secretary Meeting and was already ten minutes late, Gollum wolf was laying on the floor half asleep, and when the other OCs were standing around the Ping-Pong table, watching Narcisuss and Elenwe play; NahekaOC and Onikunshu were still sitting in the corner, plotting in silence.
Soon, NahekaOC was directing images at Joe's laptop as Onikunshu carefully viewed the blueprints that appeared on the SmartBoard. Phantom and I were playing cards with a pack of cards that I had found under my desk.
"Go fish," Phantom said monotonously. I picked up a card from the pack. "Do you have an eight?"
"'Ere ye' go," I muttered, handing her an eight of clubs.
Phantom dropped her last pair on the light green carpet. "I win."
"Meep you."
"Is that an insult?"
I shrugged. "My friend Lily came up with it. I'm trying to get her to join us at FFNH, but she's busy praising meaty beef!"
"Good for her."
"We've got it!"
We all turned to the plotting masterminds standing on top of Joe's desk, one arm on each other's shoulder, the other hands pointing up to the ceiling in victory. It was so Anime-ish.
"Five qemba!" shouted NahekaOC. "Five qemba we will attain by the time we accomplish the mission!"
With a valiant leap and a whoosh, both had jumped out of the door, and sped out into the hallway to consult the people who were offering the reward.
"I say we go!" exclaimed Phantom. "We all want the death to Mary-Sue's, don't we?" Everyone except Elvea nodded. "Then we should contribute to the destruction and ultimate downfall of this hideously annoying two-headed beast of a Mary-Sue! Let's kill it!"
"Beautiful speech, Phantom. Absolutely inspiring."
"Thanks! Let's go!"
"Great!" I announced, somewhat energized by the impact of this Mary-Sue-loathing. "Let's round up an army!" And with that, we all went out of the door and through the hallways of FFNH.
~*~
"It's on the rage!" squealed a girl in a black t-shirt bearing the message "YOU LOVE LEGOLAS. YOU DIE." in scarlet with orange glitter. Her boyfriend nodded in agreement.
"A lot of people really hate Mary-Sues, don't they?" inquired Newmoon, whom Phantom and I had found at the Disclaimer Desk. Tossing my rented items into the return basket, I caught up with my fellow authors as we continued to search for more Mary-Sue rebels that we knew.
"They're evil!" replied Phantom, throwing her arms up in the air in enthusiasm. "Plot wasted, repeated, and bland!"
"And annoying," I added reluctantly. Phantom nodded.
"Hey, Amarth!"
Amarth was watching Smeagol stroke a bag of Mrs. Bombadil's Cookies as she sat on a stone bench outside the Disclaimer Desk building. The evil maimed hobbit was hissing protectively at the white and pink package, eyes turning green with every bite of a chocolate chip cookie he took. "Precioussss cookiesss..."
"And I thought he only treated the Ring like that!" jested Amarth, jabbing her thumb at Gollum. Gollum snorted. "What's up?"
"Come with us for the 'Death to Mary-Sue' offer!" said Phantom. Newmoon handed her the infamous orange flyer. Amarth took it and looked at it carefully. In seconds, a blissful grin played across her face.
"I'm in!"
"Then off we go!"
We all inhaled to sing as proudly as we could as we marched off to find the anti-Mary-Sue supporters. Our song inspired by the Ents.
"To Mary-Sue!
Though Mary-Sue be hardly loved, and written by few of little brain,
Though Mary-Sue still breathes alive, doom we promise to rain!
We go, we go, we go to war! To hew ideas and break its pride,
For literature itself we go to war! Our hate no longer kept inside!
To story of fraud with joy we trod, killing is fun!
We come! We come!
To Mary-Sue with doom we come!
With doom we come, with doom we come!"
Author's Note:
My account had been locked so that I couldn't upload for the past week. But I got chapter 4 up here! Hope you enjoy! Especially my lovely Mary-Sue song at the end of the chapter. It's a re-written poem from the Ent's 'Doom to Isengard' song! My favorite poem... ^_^
And I have a site up! It explains part of this whole... story that I'm coming up with. It's what Tolkien's influence has rubbed on me. Really odd. Language, characters, maps, calender... and a mini-Silmarillion/Bible concept thing too... meep! I've been working on it for the last month and a half, and I would very much appreciate it if you were to stop by and give a few comments! The URL is:
http://naheka.tripod.com/dragoneyeryu
Thanks!
-Naheka
THE FILE CABINET
Walking around the rugged, green, Ping-Pong table that had just suddenly appeared in my office (Aremis and Aldarion were having a heated match, whacking that little white ball back and forth) I sat down at my desk again and looked down at my agenda again, just as I had this morning. Staring down the column, I realized that I still had that meeting with NahekaOC, and an important one at that. No chitter-chattering came from the cabinet beside me. Only the ticker-tackering of Joe's fingers punching buttons on a laptop, and the tock! coming from the Ping-Pong table were heard. It seemed too quiet. Much too peaceful.
Something was wrong.
Bang!
Nah. Something was just missing the chaos.
"Hey, Naheka!"
Phantom was a social person, the type to pop in whoever's office whether they knew them well or not, whether they were in the middle of work or not*. A thin, gray wolf tagged at her side. She called him Gollum. Also with her was Tiffany, a humanoid pink cat with green eyes and darker pink stripes. As usual, Tiff held a sugary piece of candy in her hands. This time, it was a half-eaten Hershey milk chocolate bar. Suddenly distracted by the little white ball going back and forth, she stood on the spot and watched the game go on. Joe shook his head and continued typing on his laptop.
"Hi, Phantom!" I replied, getting up from my seat to greet her with a hand-slap. "Anything new?"
"Other than the fact that there's an evil Mary-Sue lurking out in the woods," Phantom whispered mysteriously, "And that we're all going out to get some footage of it on camera," Gollum wolf barked at this point and handed a camcorder to her. "Thanks, Gollum." She pointed the camera at Joe. "Not much, really. Wave to the camera, Joe!"
Joe didn't reply as he leaned forward at the laptop screen and checked the little clock in the far bottom right corner. With a grunt, he closed the screen down, and got up from his seat, shuffling a crisp stack of papers as he moved. Pushing his chair in and neatly placing his pens and paper clips back in the old, empty jar of what used to be filled with 'Morgai Mayonnaise', he announced clearly in his business tone: "Off to the Secretary Meeting. I'll be back at," he checked his sterling silver pocket watch, "1:30 this evening. You'll still be here, right?"
"I'm here until 4:00, Joe," I said lazily, "Of course."
"And today's Tuesday, so I have to go teach the baking class how to turn on an oven at---"
"Yes! Yes. Community service thing, I know!"
With a nod, the Wraith took one last disapproving look at the 'Onimusha: Warlords' poster tacked up on the door, and exited my office with a thick swish of his tattered robes. Tiffany was still gazing at the Ping-Pong ball, even when it had bounced off the table, over the air conditioner, rebounded off the Fiction-Dome, clicked on the lock of the file cabinet, and right pass Phantom's head. I clenched my fists and shut my eyes in preparation for that little white sphere to come straight at my nose, but the tock never came. My eyes eased open.
"Simple enough!" exclaimed Onikunshu, spitting the Ping-Pong ball out of his mouth and into the tin trash can. "Catching a speeding bullet between teeth is easier than that!"
"Wait," countered NahekaOC, "Does that make sense?"
" I dunno'," replied Aldarion, searching his pocket for another ball, "I only learned how to climb trees. No one ever taught me how to spell... or add and subtract... or how to find density by diving mass over volume... or play the piano or---"
"Stupid child!" groaned Onikunshu.
"Argh! Stop insulting my child!" cried NahekaOC.
Phantom and I backed up as the assassins unsheathed knives again. We were prepared to take cover with some portfolios that were laying on my desk, but then we decided to completely hide under the desk when Narcisuss came in. A light sweep of paper across wood told me that she had gotten the mail. I reached over my head and on my desk top to retrieve them. As I flipped through the junk mail envelopes and flyers, Phantom listened to the panicked conversation taking place in the open area. It came hurriedly in quick speech.
"Aieee!" "What?" "Hey, you tried to kill me and my family in my own fantasy!" "And you actually love me!" "Yeah. So?" "That's not right! It's weird! It's paranormal!" "Dude, it's disturbing!" "Stay out of this Aldarion." "I'm not a dude!" "Stupid child." "Stop it!" "Why?" "Grrr." "I'm hungry." "You are boring!" "What does that have to do with anything?" "I don't know!" "Who's talking?" "I don't know." "You don't know anything." "Neither do you." "What are you talking about?" "Why do you always ask questions?" "What's wrong with loving a bloody evil and disrespectful bounty hunter?" "Everything." "Not! It's romantically tragic!" "Keyword: tragic." "Dude, we can talk for a long time, can't we?" "Aldarion, I don't like your slang thing, 'dude'." "I was only taught how to climb trees, dude!" "Don't call me dude!" "Dude!" "Nooooo!"
"Hey, look at this!" I announced, breaking up the gibbering OC's banter. I held up the bright orange flyer Miss Fiddlespork had offered me earlier this morning. Aside from the midnight blue script with BAN MARY-SUES, there was other text that offered cash to anyone who successfully killed a Mary-Sue. "You guys interested?"
An OC snatched the orange sheet out of my hands as I continued to flip through the mail. Sensing that it was safe, Phantom and I crawled out from under the desk and peered over the edge. All seven of my characters, Gollum wolf, and Tiffany were reading the flyer with great interest, especially the bounty hunters in the crowd, whose eyes were mutually lit with the identical flame of greed. That blind look had completely wrapped itself around their eyes.
"Do you have any idea how much that offer is worth?" asked NahekaOC in utter brilliance. "Look at that! Twenty reviews for a dead Mary-Sue! That's like... five qemba!"
"I know that!" snapped Onikunshu. "Imagine...."
Even five minutes later, when Tiffany had scampered off in realization that she had to attend the Secretary Meeting and was already ten minutes late, Gollum wolf was laying on the floor half asleep, and when the other OCs were standing around the Ping-Pong table, watching Narcisuss and Elenwe play; NahekaOC and Onikunshu were still sitting in the corner, plotting in silence.
Soon, NahekaOC was directing images at Joe's laptop as Onikunshu carefully viewed the blueprints that appeared on the SmartBoard. Phantom and I were playing cards with a pack of cards that I had found under my desk.
"Go fish," Phantom said monotonously. I picked up a card from the pack. "Do you have an eight?"
"'Ere ye' go," I muttered, handing her an eight of clubs.
Phantom dropped her last pair on the light green carpet. "I win."
"Meep you."
"Is that an insult?"
I shrugged. "My friend Lily came up with it. I'm trying to get her to join us at FFNH, but she's busy praising meaty beef!"
"Good for her."
"We've got it!"
We all turned to the plotting masterminds standing on top of Joe's desk, one arm on each other's shoulder, the other hands pointing up to the ceiling in victory. It was so Anime-ish.
"Five qemba!" shouted NahekaOC. "Five qemba we will attain by the time we accomplish the mission!"
With a valiant leap and a whoosh, both had jumped out of the door, and sped out into the hallway to consult the people who were offering the reward.
"I say we go!" exclaimed Phantom. "We all want the death to Mary-Sue's, don't we?" Everyone except Elvea nodded. "Then we should contribute to the destruction and ultimate downfall of this hideously annoying two-headed beast of a Mary-Sue! Let's kill it!"
"Beautiful speech, Phantom. Absolutely inspiring."
"Thanks! Let's go!"
"Great!" I announced, somewhat energized by the impact of this Mary-Sue-loathing. "Let's round up an army!" And with that, we all went out of the door and through the hallways of FFNH.
~*~
"It's on the rage!" squealed a girl in a black t-shirt bearing the message "YOU LOVE LEGOLAS. YOU DIE." in scarlet with orange glitter. Her boyfriend nodded in agreement.
"A lot of people really hate Mary-Sues, don't they?" inquired Newmoon, whom Phantom and I had found at the Disclaimer Desk. Tossing my rented items into the return basket, I caught up with my fellow authors as we continued to search for more Mary-Sue rebels that we knew.
"They're evil!" replied Phantom, throwing her arms up in the air in enthusiasm. "Plot wasted, repeated, and bland!"
"And annoying," I added reluctantly. Phantom nodded.
"Hey, Amarth!"
Amarth was watching Smeagol stroke a bag of Mrs. Bombadil's Cookies as she sat on a stone bench outside the Disclaimer Desk building. The evil maimed hobbit was hissing protectively at the white and pink package, eyes turning green with every bite of a chocolate chip cookie he took. "Precioussss cookiesss..."
"And I thought he only treated the Ring like that!" jested Amarth, jabbing her thumb at Gollum. Gollum snorted. "What's up?"
"Come with us for the 'Death to Mary-Sue' offer!" said Phantom. Newmoon handed her the infamous orange flyer. Amarth took it and looked at it carefully. In seconds, a blissful grin played across her face.
"I'm in!"
"Then off we go!"
We all inhaled to sing as proudly as we could as we marched off to find the anti-Mary-Sue supporters. Our song inspired by the Ents.
"To Mary-Sue!
Though Mary-Sue be hardly loved, and written by few of little brain,
Though Mary-Sue still breathes alive, doom we promise to rain!
We go, we go, we go to war! To hew ideas and break its pride,
For literature itself we go to war! Our hate no longer kept inside!
To story of fraud with joy we trod, killing is fun!
We come! We come!
To Mary-Sue with doom we come!
With doom we come, with doom we come!"