Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. It belongs
to JRR Tolkien.
Author's Note:
I am very, very sorry that this chapter didn't come out last week. I had totally rammed my plot into a wall, and I didn't know where else to turn. However, as the week passed, I was hoping that the Authors who didn't get a chance to read the last few chapters, could catch up so that they weren't behind. I use the review board to make sure that everyone has read the latest chapter. Unfortunately, even if I have given update notices to all twelve Authors, it seems that less than half have taken note of it.
This tells me that either they have very busy lives (like mine) or that they've just stopped reading. The ignorance of the problem irks me very much.
Have a good Sunday,
Naheka
The File Cabinet
"Hoshiko! Your jet pilot just killed a third of my armada!"
"That's four points for me, then!"
A falsely high-pitched voice squeaked, "Sire! The forts are being attacked by vicious enemies!" A falsely low voice grunted, "Oh no! We are all going to die!" in a very rigid pronunciation.
"Save the children! Pew! Vrrrr! Poom! Oh no! The buildings are collapsing! We're all doomed!"
"I've destroyed the frontline!"
"Newmoon's getting all the points!"
"No way! This next one is going to bring my score up to twice as high as Newmoon's!"
"Vana, you evil person, you! That was--"
"Your general's tent! Bwahaha!"
"Europa, you're sitting on my arsenal."
"Oh goody! That's six points to my score!"
"What the hell are y'all doing?"
Jack had the most terribly confused, yet very amused expression on his face as he raised an eyebrow at the twelve Authors that were huddled in a broken circle, some odd fourteen dozen paper cranes scattered everywhere. Crane Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Sues had ensued in our sad, deprived, and disturbed imaginations; apparently we had lost all track of what was going on outside of our heads. The walls of the keep had kept us safe for several hours, but alas, it had also kept us incredibly bored without anything but a stone wall to stare at.
We exchanged glances for a moment. Phantom shrugged her shoulders. "We dunno'."
"Thought so."
"Well, you do look like your having fun," sighed Elenmir, glancing with but a little hint of concern about our sanity.
I blinked happily and nodded my head. I would speak no words, for if I did so, then the paper crane that I was holding in my mouth would fall out. My teeth gripped the right wing as the rest of the body dangled over my chin. It pleased my lost mind, so if you don't mind, "I'd prefer to be losht and happy, not knowing dat you're all shtaring at me wit your accusing glaresh! Shtop it!"
"Naheka," said Penelope, "it'd be easier to speak if you took the General out of your mouth."
I clutched my legs as I swiped the paper bird out of my mouth. "You forsake me! All of you, with your accusing glares! You haunt me." Yes, I did start rocking back and forth insanely. "...I need to go into denial..."
"Don't worry about her," grunted Naurglahad, midway through a lazy yawn. "She does that all the time."
"Leave me alone, you fooool!"
"Oh, you don't want to start that stupid argument again, do you?"
"Shut up before I start talking to myself again." "People find it very amusing when you talk to yourself." "Go away. You're just my stupid conscience." "You're supposed to listen to your conscience, idiot!" "Don't call me an idiot." "You make me and others sick." "I hate you." "You don't have any friends!" "...Er, wrong line?" "Hey, if you're going to be skitzo, at least do it the right way and be Gollum!" "Go away." "You'll never make me go! Neverrrr!"
Naurglahad coughed. "You do realize that you've just been talking to yourself for the last five minutes, eh?"
I blinked and turned to my OC. "Really?"
"Yeah, really."
"Oh... I need to go into denial."
"Oh, good gawd."
~Naurglahad~
"Where did you get that sword?"
"Don't ask."
Joe kept walking and tried to ignore me, probably in hopes that I would give up and go away. Well, I like annoying Joe, so I just kept following him over hill and dell of rock. The sky was a gray pool of clouds, polluted with smoke from the battlefields, tarnished with broken stars of hopes and dreams. Mary-Sue must be very angsty at the moment, thought I. Damn weather control powers. Then at that moment it began to rain directly on my head. Only on my head. Looking up, I spotted a puffy black cloud circumnavigating the area above me.
"It's strange how they get little rain clouds to follow you everywhere, eh?" said Joe, glancing over his shoulder for a moment to observe that stupid little clog of black that hovered above my head.
"I think," I replied bitterly, "that it's just SICK and WRONG and STUPID and ANNOYING and --- "
"You get angry rather quickly."
"No shit."
Joe shook his head. "It's so sad how the Author creates such vulgar characters with a barbaric vocabulary. Asinine and pitiful actions indeed..."
"It's so sad how Mary-Sues can kill off people who's daughter is going to kick their ass one way or another."
"You were rejoicing the death of your father, earlier," muttered the Nazgul. "I assume that you are now both psychopathic and ?schizophrenic"
"...Huh?"
"You kill people without control and you have split personalities."
"...I don't know what the frigu you are talking about but even though I hate him with nearly all forces possible, he's still my dad; I'm part of him. It's like... how angry would you be if someone chopped your arm off?"
"I believe I would be more panicked and horrified than angry."
"Nevermind..." She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. "Oh, I give up!" She looked up and started singing, "I'm a skitzo! A skitzo! A skitzo! I'm a skitz-o!"
"No! Not that stupid song!" cried Joe.
"Hey! It's a good song!" "The Author won't stop singing it." "I'm a skitzo!" "Stop it!" "Never!" "Shut up!" "...Don't tell me to shut up." "Shut up." "That's it! You've crossed the line!" "And what line is that?" "My temper line!" "Which is a crooked one that is drawn vertically, not horizontally!" "You insult me?" "What else would I be doing?" "You're so weak! No wonder that stupid hobbit got so easily through the Black Gates and to the Mountain of Fire." "Why do you call me that?" "Because you... you DIED in the books!" "Shut up! You've got the wrong Nazgul! You haven't even read the books!" "The Author told me." "The Author? She can't tell the difference between Legolas ranting in Lorien, and Bombadil singing in the Old Woods!" "But she can tell the difference of the death of Smaug and Azgahal stabbing Glaurung!" "What does that have to do with anything?" "She's going to find out! They're all going to find out sooner or later! You cannot hide it!" "Yes I can!" "No you can't!" "Yes I can!" "No you can't!"
~Narcisuss~
Really, I should be thankful that he cannot hear me anymore. People tell me all the time that there's absolutely no use in trying to convince him that we are the two pieces that make one, indelible fate. He doesn't believe me. Maybe that's why Death has taken his life away; because he was blind. As soon as the war is over, Naheka can re-charge his life in the Fiction-Dome... but suppose the war never ends? We'll never see our file cabinet again.
"ARGH! I WILL KILL YOU!"
Said cry was shouted by two people simultaneously. It was immediately followed by a blur of two different languages; one that I had recognized as the Black Speech, which I had learned in Mordor, and the other as the tongue of dragons. Oni spoke this language, but this tone was too high for it to be him. It had to be Naurglahad.
Voosh! Smash!
Naurglahad and the Ringwraith came flying out of the sky and landed in a tussle on the ground. I thought that they would have stopped dead at that moment, but instead they sprung into life and started punching and kicking each other. I couldn't help but just stare. I wondered if I should call for help or settle it myself or just ignore it. 'Twas a hard decision, but unfortunately I had thought for too long. They ran off screaming into the battlefield.
"I'll just be thankful that I know she inherits temper tantrums from her father."
Suddenly, a storm of arrows rained onto the fort. I jumped to my feet and looked over the walls of the fort. Now another decision was placed upon my shoulders: should I faint, cry, or just stand here? I saw Morikallo and Ember and the hundred other soldiers positioned in the frontline.
They were all dead.
There was a tsunami of Mary-Sues mounted on horses and purple dragons and gold eagles. They had taken the battlefield, the frontline, and pretty soon, the fort wall. The last area they had to destroy was the keep.
And that was just where they were headed.
Kitty, Penelope, I am so sorry. This is not a mean of offense but I cannot tell either of you anything comforting lest I tell you the end of the story. I am very, very sorry. HAVE A BROWNIE! HERE! (snags a baking tray from Joe and shoves it) TAKE ALL THREE HUNDRED! AGAIN, I'LL DIE IF I EAT ANOTHER! If the other Authors want some, you'll have to either ask Joe or fight over the brownies. Sorry.
Naheka
Author's Note:
I am very, very sorry that this chapter didn't come out last week. I had totally rammed my plot into a wall, and I didn't know where else to turn. However, as the week passed, I was hoping that the Authors who didn't get a chance to read the last few chapters, could catch up so that they weren't behind. I use the review board to make sure that everyone has read the latest chapter. Unfortunately, even if I have given update notices to all twelve Authors, it seems that less than half have taken note of it.
This tells me that either they have very busy lives (like mine) or that they've just stopped reading. The ignorance of the problem irks me very much.
Have a good Sunday,
Naheka
The File Cabinet
"Hoshiko! Your jet pilot just killed a third of my armada!"
"That's four points for me, then!"
A falsely high-pitched voice squeaked, "Sire! The forts are being attacked by vicious enemies!" A falsely low voice grunted, "Oh no! We are all going to die!" in a very rigid pronunciation.
"Save the children! Pew! Vrrrr! Poom! Oh no! The buildings are collapsing! We're all doomed!"
"I've destroyed the frontline!"
"Newmoon's getting all the points!"
"No way! This next one is going to bring my score up to twice as high as Newmoon's!"
"Vana, you evil person, you! That was--"
"Your general's tent! Bwahaha!"
"Europa, you're sitting on my arsenal."
"Oh goody! That's six points to my score!"
"What the hell are y'all doing?"
Jack had the most terribly confused, yet very amused expression on his face as he raised an eyebrow at the twelve Authors that were huddled in a broken circle, some odd fourteen dozen paper cranes scattered everywhere. Crane Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Sues had ensued in our sad, deprived, and disturbed imaginations; apparently we had lost all track of what was going on outside of our heads. The walls of the keep had kept us safe for several hours, but alas, it had also kept us incredibly bored without anything but a stone wall to stare at.
We exchanged glances for a moment. Phantom shrugged her shoulders. "We dunno'."
"Thought so."
"Well, you do look like your having fun," sighed Elenmir, glancing with but a little hint of concern about our sanity.
I blinked happily and nodded my head. I would speak no words, for if I did so, then the paper crane that I was holding in my mouth would fall out. My teeth gripped the right wing as the rest of the body dangled over my chin. It pleased my lost mind, so if you don't mind, "I'd prefer to be losht and happy, not knowing dat you're all shtaring at me wit your accusing glaresh! Shtop it!"
"Naheka," said Penelope, "it'd be easier to speak if you took the General out of your mouth."
I clutched my legs as I swiped the paper bird out of my mouth. "You forsake me! All of you, with your accusing glares! You haunt me." Yes, I did start rocking back and forth insanely. "...I need to go into denial..."
"Don't worry about her," grunted Naurglahad, midway through a lazy yawn. "She does that all the time."
"Leave me alone, you fooool!"
"Oh, you don't want to start that stupid argument again, do you?"
"Shut up before I start talking to myself again." "People find it very amusing when you talk to yourself." "Go away. You're just my stupid conscience." "You're supposed to listen to your conscience, idiot!" "Don't call me an idiot." "You make me and others sick." "I hate you." "You don't have any friends!" "...Er, wrong line?" "Hey, if you're going to be skitzo, at least do it the right way and be Gollum!" "Go away." "You'll never make me go! Neverrrr!"
Naurglahad coughed. "You do realize that you've just been talking to yourself for the last five minutes, eh?"
I blinked and turned to my OC. "Really?"
"Yeah, really."
"Oh... I need to go into denial."
"Oh, good gawd."
~Naurglahad~
"Where did you get that sword?"
"Don't ask."
Joe kept walking and tried to ignore me, probably in hopes that I would give up and go away. Well, I like annoying Joe, so I just kept following him over hill and dell of rock. The sky was a gray pool of clouds, polluted with smoke from the battlefields, tarnished with broken stars of hopes and dreams. Mary-Sue must be very angsty at the moment, thought I. Damn weather control powers. Then at that moment it began to rain directly on my head. Only on my head. Looking up, I spotted a puffy black cloud circumnavigating the area above me.
"It's strange how they get little rain clouds to follow you everywhere, eh?" said Joe, glancing over his shoulder for a moment to observe that stupid little clog of black that hovered above my head.
"I think," I replied bitterly, "that it's just SICK and WRONG and STUPID and ANNOYING and --- "
"You get angry rather quickly."
"No shit."
Joe shook his head. "It's so sad how the Author creates such vulgar characters with a barbaric vocabulary. Asinine and pitiful actions indeed..."
"It's so sad how Mary-Sues can kill off people who's daughter is going to kick their ass one way or another."
"You were rejoicing the death of your father, earlier," muttered the Nazgul. "I assume that you are now both psychopathic and ?schizophrenic"
"...Huh?"
"You kill people without control and you have split personalities."
"...I don't know what the frigu you are talking about but even though I hate him with nearly all forces possible, he's still my dad; I'm part of him. It's like... how angry would you be if someone chopped your arm off?"
"I believe I would be more panicked and horrified than angry."
"Nevermind..." She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. "Oh, I give up!" She looked up and started singing, "I'm a skitzo! A skitzo! A skitzo! I'm a skitz-o!"
"No! Not that stupid song!" cried Joe.
"Hey! It's a good song!" "The Author won't stop singing it." "I'm a skitzo!" "Stop it!" "Never!" "Shut up!" "...Don't tell me to shut up." "Shut up." "That's it! You've crossed the line!" "And what line is that?" "My temper line!" "Which is a crooked one that is drawn vertically, not horizontally!" "You insult me?" "What else would I be doing?" "You're so weak! No wonder that stupid hobbit got so easily through the Black Gates and to the Mountain of Fire." "Why do you call me that?" "Because you... you DIED in the books!" "Shut up! You've got the wrong Nazgul! You haven't even read the books!" "The Author told me." "The Author? She can't tell the difference between Legolas ranting in Lorien, and Bombadil singing in the Old Woods!" "But she can tell the difference of the death of Smaug and Azgahal stabbing Glaurung!" "What does that have to do with anything?" "She's going to find out! They're all going to find out sooner or later! You cannot hide it!" "Yes I can!" "No you can't!" "Yes I can!" "No you can't!"
~Narcisuss~
Really, I should be thankful that he cannot hear me anymore. People tell me all the time that there's absolutely no use in trying to convince him that we are the two pieces that make one, indelible fate. He doesn't believe me. Maybe that's why Death has taken his life away; because he was blind. As soon as the war is over, Naheka can re-charge his life in the Fiction-Dome... but suppose the war never ends? We'll never see our file cabinet again.
"ARGH! I WILL KILL YOU!"
Said cry was shouted by two people simultaneously. It was immediately followed by a blur of two different languages; one that I had recognized as the Black Speech, which I had learned in Mordor, and the other as the tongue of dragons. Oni spoke this language, but this tone was too high for it to be him. It had to be Naurglahad.
Voosh! Smash!
Naurglahad and the Ringwraith came flying out of the sky and landed in a tussle on the ground. I thought that they would have stopped dead at that moment, but instead they sprung into life and started punching and kicking each other. I couldn't help but just stare. I wondered if I should call for help or settle it myself or just ignore it. 'Twas a hard decision, but unfortunately I had thought for too long. They ran off screaming into the battlefield.
"I'll just be thankful that I know she inherits temper tantrums from her father."
Suddenly, a storm of arrows rained onto the fort. I jumped to my feet and looked over the walls of the fort. Now another decision was placed upon my shoulders: should I faint, cry, or just stand here? I saw Morikallo and Ember and the hundred other soldiers positioned in the frontline.
They were all dead.
There was a tsunami of Mary-Sues mounted on horses and purple dragons and gold eagles. They had taken the battlefield, the frontline, and pretty soon, the fort wall. The last area they had to destroy was the keep.
And that was just where they were headed.
Kitty, Penelope, I am so sorry. This is not a mean of offense but I cannot tell either of you anything comforting lest I tell you the end of the story. I am very, very sorry. HAVE A BROWNIE! HERE! (snags a baking tray from Joe and shoves it) TAKE ALL THREE HUNDRED! AGAIN, I'LL DIE IF I EAT ANOTHER! If the other Authors want some, you'll have to either ask Joe or fight over the brownies. Sorry.
Naheka