Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. It belongs
to J.R.R. Tolkien. All Authors and OCs used with permission.
Author's Note:
Sorry for a late update. My week got a bit crowded, but I was able to whip this up several hours away from the midnight deadline. Thanks for waiting!
~Naheka
The File Cabinet
A Mary-Sue and the team that tagged behind her gave a cute little wave to the four little creatures that stepped timidly after Trisha's lead. #3 just kept knitting, hoping that he just wouldn't have to look up at the Sues. #4 was fuming. Head Muse remained calm. Trisha had to drag #2 away from the Sues to get him to stop waving at them, being the best actor he could be. But as soon as they turned the corner away from the Sues, he shuddered and kept walking.
"I've been hearing some very pained screams up in the Highlands," explained Trisha quietly. "I think they've started to torture OCs or something terrible like that. But they won't let me in to investigate myself. I know that they're suspicious of me. But that's where you four come in. If you guys keep your cute act up, we may be able to get through and into the Highlands."
"It sounds like we're going to Scotland," said Head Muse.
"...Then the biggest Sue we meet can be Nessie of the Loch," said #4 sarcastically.
"I refuse to believe that Nessie is a Sue," answered #3. "If this weren't in the fanfiction world, then I would say that Nessie isn't even real."
Stopping at a gate, Trisha found a golden key pad on the left, and punched in a few complicated Mary-Sue codes. For example, the first code for the first lock was what Hathorianduenadin (another Sue) had claimed to be Haldir's phone number. The second code was supposed to be the page number, word, and letter that Legolas says his first line in 'The Fellowship of the Ring'. Of course, the Sues had only scanned cold hard text, and had not considered the possibility of actually reading the book.
"Just one more code..."
"Oh, Trrriiiiiishaaaaaaaa!" sang a shrill Mary-Sue voice. "We found more captiiiiiiives!"
"Help us drag them in!" called another.
Trisha did not pause in her code-work, but a pair of pale, slender hands yanked her away from the key pad and thrust her away from the Muses. "And some of our new guests are guys! Come see if you like any of them!"
"I'm kinda' busy right now," muttered Trisha, trying to pull out of the Sue's grasp. "And I'm not interested in other men--"
"Oh, don't be so ashamed!" said the Sue, waving her explanation aside. "You can get any man you want! You are a Sue after all, right?"
Trisha was going to scream, "over my dead body!", but instead, she kept her mouth shut. The Muses tagged 'cutely' after her. But secret intentions were actually to see if they could set these new captives free. The Sues lead them to a room that branched off to the right of another corridor.
Oh, the horror. Narcissus had to be restrained by three more Mary-Sues, but it only riled her even more to see another Sue looking at Oni like she had plucked the ripest fruit from the tree. Ari snapped and screamed herself, watching Sues stare seductively at Morikallo. "Look," commented one, "they have knives and swords. They must be brave warriors!"
"Ooh!" squealed another, "I like brave warriors!"
"Back off, you whore," spat Oni. He didn't bother to fumble with the silver shackles on his feet and wrists.
"Wow! He's feisty! This one is better than the elf."
The second Sue clutched Morikallo's arm. Kallo looked like he wanted to explode and die. "No way! Elves are way hotter than regular Men."
"This isn't just a regular man!" The first Sue brushed her finger against Oni's black collar (yes, he looked constipated, too). "This one must be regal! Look at this rich vest. Only high-quality people like muah can get stuff like this."
"We found two more!" hollered a third Mary-Sue. Trisha stiffened as Ember and Wisdom were dragged in by the collar, both of them apparently unconscious. "Another elf, and another Man!" Propping the two up against the wall, the Sues continued to observe their catch. Eventually, Narcissus and Ari were dragged away from the scene, ranting and railing, complete with a rude and crass set of vocabulary words.
"I reckon I love this one more than Leggy!" said a Sue, holding onto Ember tightly. "I've never seen him before, and he probably doesn't even know me, but I know that we're just meant to be together!"
"It's amazing how Author's can just come up with guys even better looking than the ones that P. Jackson came up with," sighed a fourth, stroking Wisdom's dark hair lightly, "...or was it that other guy that came up with LOTR? His name was like Talkeen or something. Oh well. I don't really care."
"Get your bloody mitts off the boys," demanded Oni darkly. "You'll all die by my hand, one day. I swear you will."
"Hey!" said the first Sue, "Weren't you that general that was leading against us in that little war we had yesterday?" She giggled before he could answer. "I knew you were! I'm Aragorn's sister, and my name is Sara." The Canonical defiance didn't seem to bother any of the Sues.
"I'm Amber, and I'm Arwen's cousin!" exclaimed the second Sue. She poked Morikallo in the chest; he tried to back away. "Don't you work for my uncle Elrond?"
"And I'm Alantariwensteliadominque-ninohithglastirlastobethdaer, but just call me Ally," said the third Sue, fingering her long blonde hair lovingly. "I'm the elf heir to the throne of Gondor."
"Which makes me, Lantarinenueniacorcena-rimoninbruinenidanimaliar, her sister, or Lina, the other heir to the throne of Gondor," said the fourth Sue.
"We didn't ask for any of your stupid names," grunted Oni. The Sues ignored him.
"There were three others and a rabid girl," said Amber, "that we caught trying to escape by the left wing. But our unicorn guards found them and caught them."
"Which one do you like best?" asked Sara to Trisha suddenly. "Out of these four?"
"I..." Trisha could feel the Muses trembling in terror at her heels. "I... like... all of them!"
"All of them?" repeated Lina. "Wow, Trisha! You're so compassionate!"
"And in fact," continued Trisha with an insane smile starting to spread on her face as she yanked Oni and Kallo away from the Sues, "I like them all so much," she watched the Muses drag the unconscious Ember and Wisdom away, "that I am going to take all of them to... get them to help me and these four muses trim the flower patches!"
Lina hesitated and pawed at the ground. "Well..." she glanced at Wisdom. "...I kinda' wanted that one."
"Too bad!" screeched #4. The Sues gasped. Trisha slapped her forehead.
"How un-cute!" shrieked Lina, pointing accusingly to #4. She fainted. Her fellow Sues stared at her in horror for a moment, then glared at the Muses and their captives.
"RUN!" screamed Trisha.
~*~
Naurglahad peered over the edge of a giant box sort of a machine. Her palms were damp and sweaty, but she clung to the edge tightly, rattling her skin against the metal of the machine. Sweat trickled down the side of her cheek. For some reason, her body was trembling. Sure, she had spilt the blood of at least five Mary-Sues in the last hour, but that did not bother her at all. What really nagged at her was what she saw on the opposing side of the room.
Though she was supposed to be keeping watch while Jack, Blue, and Ted investigated the area, her eyes were locked on a large white window in front of her. An extensive control board lined the bottom of the window, surrounded by more machines that were similar to the one that she lay upon. But in the window, she saw several figures running about insanely.
The reason for the motions of these figures was not the easiest thing to determine, but after staring through the window for quite a while, she saw flashes of dark shapes chasing after the figures. There was something very... familiar, yet strange and new about what was occurring in that window...
"...I've got it."
Author's Note:
Sorry for a late update. My week got a bit crowded, but I was able to whip this up several hours away from the midnight deadline. Thanks for waiting!
~Naheka
The File Cabinet
A Mary-Sue and the team that tagged behind her gave a cute little wave to the four little creatures that stepped timidly after Trisha's lead. #3 just kept knitting, hoping that he just wouldn't have to look up at the Sues. #4 was fuming. Head Muse remained calm. Trisha had to drag #2 away from the Sues to get him to stop waving at them, being the best actor he could be. But as soon as they turned the corner away from the Sues, he shuddered and kept walking.
"I've been hearing some very pained screams up in the Highlands," explained Trisha quietly. "I think they've started to torture OCs or something terrible like that. But they won't let me in to investigate myself. I know that they're suspicious of me. But that's where you four come in. If you guys keep your cute act up, we may be able to get through and into the Highlands."
"It sounds like we're going to Scotland," said Head Muse.
"...Then the biggest Sue we meet can be Nessie of the Loch," said #4 sarcastically.
"I refuse to believe that Nessie is a Sue," answered #3. "If this weren't in the fanfiction world, then I would say that Nessie isn't even real."
Stopping at a gate, Trisha found a golden key pad on the left, and punched in a few complicated Mary-Sue codes. For example, the first code for the first lock was what Hathorianduenadin (another Sue) had claimed to be Haldir's phone number. The second code was supposed to be the page number, word, and letter that Legolas says his first line in 'The Fellowship of the Ring'. Of course, the Sues had only scanned cold hard text, and had not considered the possibility of actually reading the book.
"Just one more code..."
"Oh, Trrriiiiiishaaaaaaaa!" sang a shrill Mary-Sue voice. "We found more captiiiiiiives!"
"Help us drag them in!" called another.
Trisha did not pause in her code-work, but a pair of pale, slender hands yanked her away from the key pad and thrust her away from the Muses. "And some of our new guests are guys! Come see if you like any of them!"
"I'm kinda' busy right now," muttered Trisha, trying to pull out of the Sue's grasp. "And I'm not interested in other men--"
"Oh, don't be so ashamed!" said the Sue, waving her explanation aside. "You can get any man you want! You are a Sue after all, right?"
Trisha was going to scream, "over my dead body!", but instead, she kept her mouth shut. The Muses tagged 'cutely' after her. But secret intentions were actually to see if they could set these new captives free. The Sues lead them to a room that branched off to the right of another corridor.
Oh, the horror. Narcissus had to be restrained by three more Mary-Sues, but it only riled her even more to see another Sue looking at Oni like she had plucked the ripest fruit from the tree. Ari snapped and screamed herself, watching Sues stare seductively at Morikallo. "Look," commented one, "they have knives and swords. They must be brave warriors!"
"Ooh!" squealed another, "I like brave warriors!"
"Back off, you whore," spat Oni. He didn't bother to fumble with the silver shackles on his feet and wrists.
"Wow! He's feisty! This one is better than the elf."
The second Sue clutched Morikallo's arm. Kallo looked like he wanted to explode and die. "No way! Elves are way hotter than regular Men."
"This isn't just a regular man!" The first Sue brushed her finger against Oni's black collar (yes, he looked constipated, too). "This one must be regal! Look at this rich vest. Only high-quality people like muah can get stuff like this."
"We found two more!" hollered a third Mary-Sue. Trisha stiffened as Ember and Wisdom were dragged in by the collar, both of them apparently unconscious. "Another elf, and another Man!" Propping the two up against the wall, the Sues continued to observe their catch. Eventually, Narcissus and Ari were dragged away from the scene, ranting and railing, complete with a rude and crass set of vocabulary words.
"I reckon I love this one more than Leggy!" said a Sue, holding onto Ember tightly. "I've never seen him before, and he probably doesn't even know me, but I know that we're just meant to be together!"
"It's amazing how Author's can just come up with guys even better looking than the ones that P. Jackson came up with," sighed a fourth, stroking Wisdom's dark hair lightly, "...or was it that other guy that came up with LOTR? His name was like Talkeen or something. Oh well. I don't really care."
"Get your bloody mitts off the boys," demanded Oni darkly. "You'll all die by my hand, one day. I swear you will."
"Hey!" said the first Sue, "Weren't you that general that was leading against us in that little war we had yesterday?" She giggled before he could answer. "I knew you were! I'm Aragorn's sister, and my name is Sara." The Canonical defiance didn't seem to bother any of the Sues.
"I'm Amber, and I'm Arwen's cousin!" exclaimed the second Sue. She poked Morikallo in the chest; he tried to back away. "Don't you work for my uncle Elrond?"
"And I'm Alantariwensteliadominque-ninohithglastirlastobethdaer, but just call me Ally," said the third Sue, fingering her long blonde hair lovingly. "I'm the elf heir to the throne of Gondor."
"Which makes me, Lantarinenueniacorcena-rimoninbruinenidanimaliar, her sister, or Lina, the other heir to the throne of Gondor," said the fourth Sue.
"We didn't ask for any of your stupid names," grunted Oni. The Sues ignored him.
"There were three others and a rabid girl," said Amber, "that we caught trying to escape by the left wing. But our unicorn guards found them and caught them."
"Which one do you like best?" asked Sara to Trisha suddenly. "Out of these four?"
"I..." Trisha could feel the Muses trembling in terror at her heels. "I... like... all of them!"
"All of them?" repeated Lina. "Wow, Trisha! You're so compassionate!"
"And in fact," continued Trisha with an insane smile starting to spread on her face as she yanked Oni and Kallo away from the Sues, "I like them all so much," she watched the Muses drag the unconscious Ember and Wisdom away, "that I am going to take all of them to... get them to help me and these four muses trim the flower patches!"
Lina hesitated and pawed at the ground. "Well..." she glanced at Wisdom. "...I kinda' wanted that one."
"Too bad!" screeched #4. The Sues gasped. Trisha slapped her forehead.
"How un-cute!" shrieked Lina, pointing accusingly to #4. She fainted. Her fellow Sues stared at her in horror for a moment, then glared at the Muses and their captives.
"RUN!" screamed Trisha.
~*~
Naurglahad peered over the edge of a giant box sort of a machine. Her palms were damp and sweaty, but she clung to the edge tightly, rattling her skin against the metal of the machine. Sweat trickled down the side of her cheek. For some reason, her body was trembling. Sure, she had spilt the blood of at least five Mary-Sues in the last hour, but that did not bother her at all. What really nagged at her was what she saw on the opposing side of the room.
Though she was supposed to be keeping watch while Jack, Blue, and Ted investigated the area, her eyes were locked on a large white window in front of her. An extensive control board lined the bottom of the window, surrounded by more machines that were similar to the one that she lay upon. But in the window, she saw several figures running about insanely.
The reason for the motions of these figures was not the easiest thing to determine, but after staring through the window for quite a while, she saw flashes of dark shapes chasing after the figures. There was something very... familiar, yet strange and new about what was occurring in that window...
"...I've got it."