Later
Disclaimer: Same as before.
~ ~ ~ ~
Ted walked out to his bicycle after school still mulling the invitation. He was about to go bike those six miles back home when he made a decision. "Ah, what the hell, I've still got a whole three hours before I gotta go make my reports. Tryouts should be no biggie anyway."
He relocked his bicycle, walked over to the locker room, threw on his gym gear and walked out to the track. There were quite a few kids there, mostly freshmen and sophomores, but there were a few juniors and seniors among the bunch. Taryn saw him then smiled and waved. Ted returned the gesture and sidled up to her. He could just see Big Un giving him a jaunty wave and that big sloppy grin he was known for.
He could see Nate Wenzl out there too. He was just running in to join. "Hey, you made it." Taryn beamed.
Ted smiled back, feeling a little awkward despite his self assured and casual manner, "Well, I figured I'd try it." Ted replied as coach started them on their stretching routine.
He could see Nate smiling broadly at him, Ted shot him a brief look that spoke of death and daggers and resumed the conversation. They started on a short interval jog, Ted easily matched pace with Taryn, and they continued to talk.
"Did you hear about that threat we got last period?" Taryn asked.
"No. What threat are you talking about?" Ted replied.
"Some kids threatened to blow up the school tomorrow. It was two freshmen that got expelled." Taryn said.
Ted immediately felt uneasy and as soon as practice was over he dialed up a number on his cell phone and said, "We've got termites on the premises."
He made that call to Chief who was sitting in his custodian's office in the Bayville Aquarium. He immediately called for a Navy EOD unit attached to the Rangers consisting of two techs and their equipment.
Feeling that he had done everything he could do, Ted pedaled back towards 'home' at a leisurely rate. He thought about a few things, Taryn was among them. Okay, she was attractive, kind, a little bit of a flirt, but all in all she was a nice girl. Where the hell did that thought come from. Rule number one of infiltration was minimizing contact.
Big Un was driving the truck and Nate was riding with him so Ted was pretty much alone as the sun was beginning to set over the horizon.
As he reached the peak of the hill that lead into his neighborhood Ted decided on a very simple fact. Taryn was a nice girl, someone that if circumstances were different he'd be more than willing to take to the movies or out for some ice cream. When he got back he saw a big white van in the driveway with two Explosive Ordinance Disposal techs carrying a large refrigerator box between them. He knew them as "Silent Bob" Schwartz, a big tubby bearded fellow, and Jay Marques, a skinny blond haired kid.
Chief wasn't back from work yet, so Big Un threw some TV dinners into the microwave and nuked them. As Ted walked in Nate elbowed him in the side, "Getting frisky with the ladies, eh?"
"What?" Ted asked.
"Taryn," Nate replied, "That girl on the cross country team with us."
"What, are you crazy? I just met her today, anyway she's just a friend I made the first day, might just be able to help us garner some information." Ted replied.
"Ted will you shut up about the mission for God's sake, I know what we have to do, so do the rest of us, so let's make like we enjoy this little taste of life." Big Un replied.
"You know, he does have a point there." Nate replied.
"Yeah, we still train enough to keep our edge, let's just chill and enjoy the perks of this assignment." Big Un replied, "So what's the deal, you think she's cute?"
"Well yeah, but." Ted replied.
"But nothing, go for her man, for all you know when we go on our next deployment or patrol you could be killed." Big Un replied as they went out to help Jay and Silent Bob move their equipment.
"What in the hell is in this box, barbells?" Nate asked.
"No, it's our hazmat handler, latest and greatest for EOD techs, you see we drive the van up to the school and remote control this robot to search for explosives." Jay said.
"That's great but how are you gonna put a low profile on a big shipboard robot." Chief said, walking in the door.
"Don't worry about it Chief we've got it all covered." Silent Bob said.
A few minutes later the robot was covered with black fur, a rubber gorilla mask, a tiny bow tie, and a Barnum and Bailey's vest. Chief stared at the thing incredulously, "A gorilla costume? How in the hell do you expect to be low key with a gorilla costume?"
Ted, Big Un, and Nate were all doubled over laughing. "Relax Chief its all part of the pep rally tomorrow. It's a little beginning of the year spirit booster Principal Kelly made up, we'll pretend it's a mascot." Silent Bob replied.
"Okay Ted, its your turn to go up for the profile flight, you know the drill, head out to the empty lot and the Black Hawk should be by to pick you up." Chief said.
"Right 'dad'." Ted replied, going for one of the M-16s in one of the hard plastic cases as well as a set of NODs (Night Observation Devices) and a magazine pouch. Big Un went into the garage with Ted and they got into the truck and drove for the pick up site.
Ted was aboard one of the UH-60 Black Hawks with a chalk of about twelve soldiers from Company F, 175th Ranger Regiment as it flew over Bayville scanning for signs of any enemy activity. He was the only one wearing civilian clothes with incongruous military equipment and a rifle on his person, all the other soldiers wore woodland patterned fatigues, Kevlar vests, and helmets. Mission or not, every day the helicopters would fly out over the city and scan for signs of enemy activity with the Rangers doing patrols. He could see an MH-6 Little Bird with a four man team of Gamma assaulters flying behind the Black Hawk. In the streets more Gamma operators in civilian clothing and with civilian vehicles did several scans of the area as well as shadowing important personalities of this particular dimension.
The Little Bird touched down on the roof of a house with two more of them landing in the front and back lawn. Twelve Gamma operators quickly jumped from the birds and started their takedown. The Rangers had already rappelled four chalks from four other Black Hawks into the area around the property's perimeter. He could see shots being fired, flash bang grenades (weapons that produced a harmless flash and smoke that stunned anyone exposed), and the Gamma operators rapping up their take down, they had killed five orcs occupying the house, captured another three, and were carrying numerous confiscated weapons. The helicopters spirited away quite a few of them back to the Checkpoint Alpha, the outpost that the Rangers had made out in the isolated countryside, away from prying eyes.
Ted had a healthy respect for these Gamma operators in spite of the fact that Fleet Special Forces men had building and ship takedowns in their bag of tricks. These Gamma guys practiced for this sort of close quarter, counterterrorist operations in urban terrain constantly and actually the initial cadre of FSF Six, the Fleet Special Forces team that specialized in counterterrorism, was Unit Gamma operators.
It came time for Ted to be dropped off where Big Un waited with the pickup truck and he dismounted the chopper and got onto the truck. In the woods Big Un saw a shadow. Ted pulled the NOD over his eyes and could see a lone orc running from the landing site at full speed. Ted picked up his M-16, gave the running creature a short lead and squeezed off a three round burst. He saw two Rangers come running and led them to where the orc was spurting jets of black blood onto the forest floor. The Rangers policed the corpse as Ted walked back to the vehicle. Big Un drove the truck up to the corpse and checked it for weapons, he handed Ted a badge from the orc's armor.
"You might wanna keep this buddy." Big Un said.
"Why?" Ted asked.
"Dude, you just knocked out one of us on their side." Big Un replied.
"You mean one of those Black Hand Commando bastards." Ted replied, referring to the orcs' answer to human Special Forces units.
"The one and only." Big Un replied. Ted looked stunned; this was one hell of a night.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next day dawned and Ted, Big Un, and Nate made their way to school with Jay and Silent Bob's van following behind them. Chief was driving the van, calling in sick at his cover job.
Jay and Silent Bob were in the back of the van with a keyboard and a couple of joysticks connected to two large television screens that were connected by a data link to cameras mounted in the gorilla's eyes.
Big Un, Ted and Nate fanned out around the school. Ted ran into Taryn between periods and they witnessed Principal Kelly walking up to the gorilla. "You there, what class are you supposed to be in? The pep rally's not till this afternoon, why are you wearing your costume now?" he asked.
Back in the van, Jay and Silent Bob could hear Principal Kelly's question. "Quick, what do I do!?" Jay shouted, holding the joystick.
"Do the monkey dance, it worked with the other teacher earlier." Silent Bob replied.
Principal Kelly watched as the gorilla suited performer danced around, hopping from one foot to the other, scratching itself under its armpit, and doing a midair pirouette. "You'll have to do better than that. Who's your home room teacher? What booth are you working for?" Principal Kelly asked.
"Oh no! Oh no! He's onto us, what do we do? What do we do!?" Silent Bob shouted.
"Try saying something." Jay said, "Thank God we jury rigged a few choice discreet phrases into his bowtie." Silent Bob punched a key on the computer. The gorilla costumed kid belted out a phrase to Principal Kelly.
"Lick my gonads!" the gorilla shouted. About a dozen students stopped in their tracks as the gorilla belted out that phrase.
"What did you say young man?" Principal Kelly said, turning pale white.
"I'm no expert but since when does lick my gonads equal a discreet phrase?" Chief asked.
"Uh, I don't know?" Silent Bob replied.
"Quick, say something else!" Jay shouted, flapping his arms.
"Okay, how about this." Silent Bob replied.
The gorilla started to dance disco style as it started to sing, "In the Navy."
"Who do you think you are, young man?" Principal Kelly asked.
"Hurry, answer him, that didn't amuse him!" Jay shouted.
"Ta na na na na na na na na..Batman!!!!" the gorilla shouted.
"That didn't work." Jay shouted as Principal Kelly started to berate what he thought was a student in an unauthorized gorilla costume.
"It's bad enough that we need to be disciplinarians, now we need to be psychiatrists too." Principal Kelly shouted.
"Hold still, I want to hump on your leg." The gorilla belted.
"You moron, did you just sit your fat ass on the control?" Jay asked.
"No.I mean yes." Silent Bob replied.
"Gimme that!" Jay shouted, reaching under Silent Bob's thigh and grabbing the voice box control, accidentally triggering the switch.
"What was that?" Principal Kelly asked.
"Don't blame me, you farted." the gorilla replied.
Silent Bob grabbed the control back and accidentally triggered the switch.
"In my office right now. I will not tolerate vulgarity from my students." Principal Kelly shouted.
To this the gorilla replied, "Excuse me while I lick my doodads."
"That's it young man, who are you? Maximoff? Dukes? Alvers? Matthews?" Principal Kelly demanded, his pasty white complexion turning bright red, his eyes bugging out behind his plastic frame glasses. He reached for the masked student's disguise, fully aware that several students and even a few faculty members were standing around either shocked or laughing at him.
"Oh no! He's reaching for the mask! Quick, what do I do?!" Jay asked.
"Punch him!" Silent Bob shouted.
"I hope you don't hurt him too bad," Chief said from his seat.
"Don't worry, we're gonna hit him in the stomach. These robots are known for being extremely precise, we could pick up a leaf in the cracks of the sidewalk without breaking it." Silent Bob replied, "Ready, now!"
The gorilla tagged Principal Kelly with a perfect right cross. Unfortunately it didn't hit him in the stomach. It nailed him in a very sensitive spot right between the thighs.
"Ow, brutal." Jay replied.
"Uh, Jay, that wasn't his stomach." Silent Bob replied as Principal Kelly hunched over, wincing in pain.
"Punch him again, he's gonna call the cops!" Jay replied.
"Okay, watch a pro!" Silent Bob replied, the gorilla belted Kelly upside the head with a solid left hook. Principal Kelly hit the deck like a pole axed mule.
"Run!" Jay shouted as they made the gorilla perform a series of leaps, bounds, and swings away from the campus, "Lets look for the bomb later on, when the heat dies down."
Taryn and Ted had both witnessed the entire scene, what it looked like was some kid in a gorilla costume sassing and punching out the principal. Ted knew that the remote controlled robot gorilla was controlled by two EOD techs that had half a brain between them, but he acted as surprised and amused as some of the kids were. He laughed lightly.
"That is not funny. Principal Kelly could've been hurt." Taryn said.
"Oh, c'mon, you gotta admit that was at least halfway funny." Ted replied.
"Okay, it was a little funny." Taryn replied, trying desperately not to smile.
"I mean admit it, when the kid belts out to Kelly to lick his gonads that was at least worth a full smile." Ted replied, teasingly.
Taryn smiled, giggling at the previous incident where a kid in a gorilla costume had mouthed off to the principal and knocked him out for good measure.
Meanwhile in the van Chief said, "Time for plan B, blend into the student population."
"Right Chief, we won't screw this up, we promise." Silent Bob said as he and Jay, clad in civilian clothes, jumped from the van.
"Why does that not reassure me." Chief replied.
Disclaimer: Same as before.
~ ~ ~ ~
Ted walked out to his bicycle after school still mulling the invitation. He was about to go bike those six miles back home when he made a decision. "Ah, what the hell, I've still got a whole three hours before I gotta go make my reports. Tryouts should be no biggie anyway."
He relocked his bicycle, walked over to the locker room, threw on his gym gear and walked out to the track. There were quite a few kids there, mostly freshmen and sophomores, but there were a few juniors and seniors among the bunch. Taryn saw him then smiled and waved. Ted returned the gesture and sidled up to her. He could just see Big Un giving him a jaunty wave and that big sloppy grin he was known for.
He could see Nate Wenzl out there too. He was just running in to join. "Hey, you made it." Taryn beamed.
Ted smiled back, feeling a little awkward despite his self assured and casual manner, "Well, I figured I'd try it." Ted replied as coach started them on their stretching routine.
He could see Nate smiling broadly at him, Ted shot him a brief look that spoke of death and daggers and resumed the conversation. They started on a short interval jog, Ted easily matched pace with Taryn, and they continued to talk.
"Did you hear about that threat we got last period?" Taryn asked.
"No. What threat are you talking about?" Ted replied.
"Some kids threatened to blow up the school tomorrow. It was two freshmen that got expelled." Taryn said.
Ted immediately felt uneasy and as soon as practice was over he dialed up a number on his cell phone and said, "We've got termites on the premises."
He made that call to Chief who was sitting in his custodian's office in the Bayville Aquarium. He immediately called for a Navy EOD unit attached to the Rangers consisting of two techs and their equipment.
Feeling that he had done everything he could do, Ted pedaled back towards 'home' at a leisurely rate. He thought about a few things, Taryn was among them. Okay, she was attractive, kind, a little bit of a flirt, but all in all she was a nice girl. Where the hell did that thought come from. Rule number one of infiltration was minimizing contact.
Big Un was driving the truck and Nate was riding with him so Ted was pretty much alone as the sun was beginning to set over the horizon.
As he reached the peak of the hill that lead into his neighborhood Ted decided on a very simple fact. Taryn was a nice girl, someone that if circumstances were different he'd be more than willing to take to the movies or out for some ice cream. When he got back he saw a big white van in the driveway with two Explosive Ordinance Disposal techs carrying a large refrigerator box between them. He knew them as "Silent Bob" Schwartz, a big tubby bearded fellow, and Jay Marques, a skinny blond haired kid.
Chief wasn't back from work yet, so Big Un threw some TV dinners into the microwave and nuked them. As Ted walked in Nate elbowed him in the side, "Getting frisky with the ladies, eh?"
"What?" Ted asked.
"Taryn," Nate replied, "That girl on the cross country team with us."
"What, are you crazy? I just met her today, anyway she's just a friend I made the first day, might just be able to help us garner some information." Ted replied.
"Ted will you shut up about the mission for God's sake, I know what we have to do, so do the rest of us, so let's make like we enjoy this little taste of life." Big Un replied.
"You know, he does have a point there." Nate replied.
"Yeah, we still train enough to keep our edge, let's just chill and enjoy the perks of this assignment." Big Un replied, "So what's the deal, you think she's cute?"
"Well yeah, but." Ted replied.
"But nothing, go for her man, for all you know when we go on our next deployment or patrol you could be killed." Big Un replied as they went out to help Jay and Silent Bob move their equipment.
"What in the hell is in this box, barbells?" Nate asked.
"No, it's our hazmat handler, latest and greatest for EOD techs, you see we drive the van up to the school and remote control this robot to search for explosives." Jay said.
"That's great but how are you gonna put a low profile on a big shipboard robot." Chief said, walking in the door.
"Don't worry about it Chief we've got it all covered." Silent Bob said.
A few minutes later the robot was covered with black fur, a rubber gorilla mask, a tiny bow tie, and a Barnum and Bailey's vest. Chief stared at the thing incredulously, "A gorilla costume? How in the hell do you expect to be low key with a gorilla costume?"
Ted, Big Un, and Nate were all doubled over laughing. "Relax Chief its all part of the pep rally tomorrow. It's a little beginning of the year spirit booster Principal Kelly made up, we'll pretend it's a mascot." Silent Bob replied.
"Okay Ted, its your turn to go up for the profile flight, you know the drill, head out to the empty lot and the Black Hawk should be by to pick you up." Chief said.
"Right 'dad'." Ted replied, going for one of the M-16s in one of the hard plastic cases as well as a set of NODs (Night Observation Devices) and a magazine pouch. Big Un went into the garage with Ted and they got into the truck and drove for the pick up site.
Ted was aboard one of the UH-60 Black Hawks with a chalk of about twelve soldiers from Company F, 175th Ranger Regiment as it flew over Bayville scanning for signs of any enemy activity. He was the only one wearing civilian clothes with incongruous military equipment and a rifle on his person, all the other soldiers wore woodland patterned fatigues, Kevlar vests, and helmets. Mission or not, every day the helicopters would fly out over the city and scan for signs of enemy activity with the Rangers doing patrols. He could see an MH-6 Little Bird with a four man team of Gamma assaulters flying behind the Black Hawk. In the streets more Gamma operators in civilian clothing and with civilian vehicles did several scans of the area as well as shadowing important personalities of this particular dimension.
The Little Bird touched down on the roof of a house with two more of them landing in the front and back lawn. Twelve Gamma operators quickly jumped from the birds and started their takedown. The Rangers had already rappelled four chalks from four other Black Hawks into the area around the property's perimeter. He could see shots being fired, flash bang grenades (weapons that produced a harmless flash and smoke that stunned anyone exposed), and the Gamma operators rapping up their take down, they had killed five orcs occupying the house, captured another three, and were carrying numerous confiscated weapons. The helicopters spirited away quite a few of them back to the Checkpoint Alpha, the outpost that the Rangers had made out in the isolated countryside, away from prying eyes.
Ted had a healthy respect for these Gamma operators in spite of the fact that Fleet Special Forces men had building and ship takedowns in their bag of tricks. These Gamma guys practiced for this sort of close quarter, counterterrorist operations in urban terrain constantly and actually the initial cadre of FSF Six, the Fleet Special Forces team that specialized in counterterrorism, was Unit Gamma operators.
It came time for Ted to be dropped off where Big Un waited with the pickup truck and he dismounted the chopper and got onto the truck. In the woods Big Un saw a shadow. Ted pulled the NOD over his eyes and could see a lone orc running from the landing site at full speed. Ted picked up his M-16, gave the running creature a short lead and squeezed off a three round burst. He saw two Rangers come running and led them to where the orc was spurting jets of black blood onto the forest floor. The Rangers policed the corpse as Ted walked back to the vehicle. Big Un drove the truck up to the corpse and checked it for weapons, he handed Ted a badge from the orc's armor.
"You might wanna keep this buddy." Big Un said.
"Why?" Ted asked.
"Dude, you just knocked out one of us on their side." Big Un replied.
"You mean one of those Black Hand Commando bastards." Ted replied, referring to the orcs' answer to human Special Forces units.
"The one and only." Big Un replied. Ted looked stunned; this was one hell of a night.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next day dawned and Ted, Big Un, and Nate made their way to school with Jay and Silent Bob's van following behind them. Chief was driving the van, calling in sick at his cover job.
Jay and Silent Bob were in the back of the van with a keyboard and a couple of joysticks connected to two large television screens that were connected by a data link to cameras mounted in the gorilla's eyes.
Big Un, Ted and Nate fanned out around the school. Ted ran into Taryn between periods and they witnessed Principal Kelly walking up to the gorilla. "You there, what class are you supposed to be in? The pep rally's not till this afternoon, why are you wearing your costume now?" he asked.
Back in the van, Jay and Silent Bob could hear Principal Kelly's question. "Quick, what do I do!?" Jay shouted, holding the joystick.
"Do the monkey dance, it worked with the other teacher earlier." Silent Bob replied.
Principal Kelly watched as the gorilla suited performer danced around, hopping from one foot to the other, scratching itself under its armpit, and doing a midair pirouette. "You'll have to do better than that. Who's your home room teacher? What booth are you working for?" Principal Kelly asked.
"Oh no! Oh no! He's onto us, what do we do? What do we do!?" Silent Bob shouted.
"Try saying something." Jay said, "Thank God we jury rigged a few choice discreet phrases into his bowtie." Silent Bob punched a key on the computer. The gorilla costumed kid belted out a phrase to Principal Kelly.
"Lick my gonads!" the gorilla shouted. About a dozen students stopped in their tracks as the gorilla belted out that phrase.
"What did you say young man?" Principal Kelly said, turning pale white.
"I'm no expert but since when does lick my gonads equal a discreet phrase?" Chief asked.
"Uh, I don't know?" Silent Bob replied.
"Quick, say something else!" Jay shouted, flapping his arms.
"Okay, how about this." Silent Bob replied.
The gorilla started to dance disco style as it started to sing, "In the Navy."
"Who do you think you are, young man?" Principal Kelly asked.
"Hurry, answer him, that didn't amuse him!" Jay shouted.
"Ta na na na na na na na na..Batman!!!!" the gorilla shouted.
"That didn't work." Jay shouted as Principal Kelly started to berate what he thought was a student in an unauthorized gorilla costume.
"It's bad enough that we need to be disciplinarians, now we need to be psychiatrists too." Principal Kelly shouted.
"Hold still, I want to hump on your leg." The gorilla belted.
"You moron, did you just sit your fat ass on the control?" Jay asked.
"No.I mean yes." Silent Bob replied.
"Gimme that!" Jay shouted, reaching under Silent Bob's thigh and grabbing the voice box control, accidentally triggering the switch.
"What was that?" Principal Kelly asked.
"Don't blame me, you farted." the gorilla replied.
Silent Bob grabbed the control back and accidentally triggered the switch.
"In my office right now. I will not tolerate vulgarity from my students." Principal Kelly shouted.
To this the gorilla replied, "Excuse me while I lick my doodads."
"That's it young man, who are you? Maximoff? Dukes? Alvers? Matthews?" Principal Kelly demanded, his pasty white complexion turning bright red, his eyes bugging out behind his plastic frame glasses. He reached for the masked student's disguise, fully aware that several students and even a few faculty members were standing around either shocked or laughing at him.
"Oh no! He's reaching for the mask! Quick, what do I do?!" Jay asked.
"Punch him!" Silent Bob shouted.
"I hope you don't hurt him too bad," Chief said from his seat.
"Don't worry, we're gonna hit him in the stomach. These robots are known for being extremely precise, we could pick up a leaf in the cracks of the sidewalk without breaking it." Silent Bob replied, "Ready, now!"
The gorilla tagged Principal Kelly with a perfect right cross. Unfortunately it didn't hit him in the stomach. It nailed him in a very sensitive spot right between the thighs.
"Ow, brutal." Jay replied.
"Uh, Jay, that wasn't his stomach." Silent Bob replied as Principal Kelly hunched over, wincing in pain.
"Punch him again, he's gonna call the cops!" Jay replied.
"Okay, watch a pro!" Silent Bob replied, the gorilla belted Kelly upside the head with a solid left hook. Principal Kelly hit the deck like a pole axed mule.
"Run!" Jay shouted as they made the gorilla perform a series of leaps, bounds, and swings away from the campus, "Lets look for the bomb later on, when the heat dies down."
Taryn and Ted had both witnessed the entire scene, what it looked like was some kid in a gorilla costume sassing and punching out the principal. Ted knew that the remote controlled robot gorilla was controlled by two EOD techs that had half a brain between them, but he acted as surprised and amused as some of the kids were. He laughed lightly.
"That is not funny. Principal Kelly could've been hurt." Taryn said.
"Oh, c'mon, you gotta admit that was at least halfway funny." Ted replied.
"Okay, it was a little funny." Taryn replied, trying desperately not to smile.
"I mean admit it, when the kid belts out to Kelly to lick his gonads that was at least worth a full smile." Ted replied, teasingly.
Taryn smiled, giggling at the previous incident where a kid in a gorilla costume had mouthed off to the principal and knocked him out for good measure.
Meanwhile in the van Chief said, "Time for plan B, blend into the student population."
"Right Chief, we won't screw this up, we promise." Silent Bob said as he and Jay, clad in civilian clothes, jumped from the van.
"Why does that not reassure me." Chief replied.