Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. It belongs
to J.R.R. Tolkien. All Authors and OCs used with permission.
Author's Note:
This... is the introduction to the climax, and a very powerful climax at that. If you need me to send an e-mail explaning a few things in this chapter, just let me know. I'll finish the rest of my boring speech later.
~Naheka
Through a tangle of limbs and panting, the fleeing team lay sprawled on the seashell pink marble floor, shielding their eyes from the white and red strains of light bouncing off the walls and ceiling. It was like fierce lightning each time the light beat into an even stronger force than it was before. Even Oni, who had seen powers and technology that surpassed even what Trisha came from, was in awe. Yes, he had encountered individual devices capable of mass destruction, but never anything as great as what he witnessed at this very moment.
They had been running from the advancing Sues a few seconds ago, until they slammed into two insane women, Narcissus and Ari, around a corner. In the collision, Ember and Wisdom flew out of grasp, but smacked right into each other as they fell. Frankly, it was enough of a force to knock them both back into consciousness. Unfortunately for them, the first thing they saw was a pair of iridescent purple slippers.
For sure, they all would have been Sue-afied if a certain Ringwraith hadn't jumped out of nowhere and somehow hooked his sword up to pull together such a strength to fend off the Mary-Sues. Now, he was advancing on them, pointing the tip of his blade towards the nearest Mary-Sue. And then, poof!
The Mary-Sues disappeared into nothingness.
"How did you do that?" gasped Ari as the lightning faded and Joe let his armed hand down. Joe turned and looked back at the group, but spoke no words.
"I believe," said Morikallo softly, "that there really must be something more under that hood of yours."
"Something much, much, more," muttered Oni.
~Naheka~
"Good-bye, Legolas."
Bzzt. Bzzt. The horrified look on the elf's face suddenly became static, flicking in and out of sight. Poof! Then he disappeared. A silence...
Naurglahad took a deep sigh, looking down at her hands, which she had hoped would be covered with blood. Instead, it was dusty in the ashes of the gun fire, and trembling because she didn't pull the trigger that one last time. She slid down to her knees, bending towards the ground as if she wanted to keel over and die. Forsaken, cried the pale expression on her face, Forsaken!
Smoke rose from the ground and rain from the sky, gray and blackened with gunpowder. Looking up to face the rain, she opened her mouth, letting her tongue catch every drop she could manage. But then she spit it out, realizing that it was actually water from the sprinklers above, which meant that it was water from the Mary-Sue storage system. 'Twas water from the enemy. She spat it out.
I was still laying there, half dead and horrified from being proposed by one of my own worst enemies. "Naheka," said the OC, not moving from her angst-fed position, down on her knees, facing the sky, with trembling hands laying palms-up on the ground.
I croaked, "What?"
She did not answer immediately. "How big of a scene am I making?"
"...Very big."
"Very?"
"Yes, very big. The kiddies in the corner of the theater are crying, now."
"Really?"
"Yes..."
"Good."
"I... need... therapy," groaned someone a few feet away from me.
"We all do," replied another voice.
Of course, I could not blame my fellow Authors for being so exhausted after going through... going through... well, going through all of that traumatic drama stuff and horror and torture and evil... evil... Mary-Sues. "What happened, anyway?"
"Something that no Author should ever have to go through."
I managed to turn my head to look to the side. The rain had stopped and the other OCs were there, looking just as exhausted as we felt. I envied them for their ability to at least stand up. Joe stood above us, silently standing in the stillness, examining the destroyed and burning terrain.
Which I had soon noticed was not burning or wet or scratched at all!
"all right!" I shouted angrily, getting myself dizzy from all the effort. "What the hell is going on here?"
"We're going insane!" cried Jiana from the far corner.
"We ARE insane!" answered Amarth.
"You probably have gone insane, because all twelve of you Authors," said Joe, "have been Fictionally Abused."
"Fictitiously what?"
"Fictionally Abused," repeated Joe. "And in this case of abuse, you have been used in a Fiction Dome!"
"This is a Fiction Dome?" I asked.
"I thought it was a torture chamber," muttered Phantom.
"It was a Fiction Dome used as a torture chamber for Authors," continued Joe, "which is of course an extreme violation of FFNH's rules." The creak of his metal shoes indicated that he had started walking as he explained. "For the Fiction Dome is strictly only built for an OC's Existence Pattern."
"It's science class all over again," groaned Newmoon.
"That means that only OC's can be used in a Fiction Dome. Authors shouldn't be put in Fiction Domes. Why? Because an Author, unlike an Original Creation, has an actual human DNA! When a Reality is confronted by a Fantasy, the Reality begins to lose itself and become more like the Fantasy, which is incapable of surviving in the Reality World. So when Authors, a subject of Reality, is confronted by the powers of the Fiction Dome, a subject of Fantasy, the Authors may encounter severe mental and physical changes!"
By the time he finished, the Authors were half asleep, Ari was asleep (resting on Kallo's shoulder), Trisha had her eyes crossed, Oni was writing in his Blog again (Narcissus reading over his shoulder), Ember and Wisdom were playing Jacks, Head Muse was knitting, #2 and #4 were playing Poker, and #3 was knitting. As for Naurglahad, Jack and Ted were trying to detach her from Blue (she wouldn't let go of his ankles, screaming "I HAVE BEEN FORSAKEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!")
Joe just stood there, staring at the lack of educational thirst. He was about to make the room go dark and reprimand us for our ignorance, until hell and its minions came leaping through the broken window and through the door. Not surprisingly, they had just a bit of a make-up touch before they decided to invade gallantly (there was a Sue in the back of the crowd, still attending to her dark blue mascara).
"We've come for the prisoners!" exclaimed several Mary-Sues. "And also to destroy the Nazgul!"
"And we shall capture thou defiant Authors, for thy is going to be punished!" cried another.
Joe turned around and replied dully, "Shouldn't it be more like 'Thou shalt be punished for thy unholy deeds, O foul Authors of blah blah blah' or something like that?"
"I know how to use my English!" she bickered. "Since I'm half elfish half hobbit and half fairy, I know all the languages of the world!"
"Well, for your information, there is no English, nor 'elfish', nor fairy people in the world; there is Westron, and there are the elven folk. Fairies. Don't. Exist. And to add to that--" he shouted something harshly in the Black Tongue.
The Sue paused for a moment. "You said something bad, right?"
"No," he said in a sarcastic tone, "I was pointing out the fact that you missed a spot of blush on your nose."
"Really?" she squealed, grabbing a brush from her pocket. Another Sue grabbed her wrist and told her to put the brush away.
"That's enough!" exclaimed a blonde Sue that stood in the front. "I am Estelia, true lover of Estel!"
"And one hell of a slutty and preppy cheerleader!" roared Naurglahad, still clinging onto Blue's ankle.
"But I," continued Estelia, ignoring the former Sue-Angawende, "I am tired of your smart-ass remarks, Nazgul!" She unsheathed a silver-blue sword with flowers etched on the blade. "I will kill you, first!"
Joe just stared at her for a few moments. Then, a new sound came softly at first from him, but rose to a volume loud enough for all to hear. It was laughter! A mocking laughter! "Do you seriously believe that you and your fictitious sword can harm me in any way?"
"Of course!" retorted Estelia. "I'm me! I'm Estel's lover! Estel is the King of Condor and---"
"Silence!"
I had finally gained the strength to back as far away from Joe as possible. My fellow Authors had the wisdom to do the same. The OCs were also backing up, but oddly, they weren't panicking as I had felt. Instead, they all backed up with their heads lowered, as if bowing to something. Finally, I had the curiosity to look up myself.
And even today, it is very hard for me to understand how any of this had ever happened. Joe had unsheathed his sword, and tossed it into the air... where it floated, still in time without movement or breath. Many of the Mary-Sues gasped at the sight. Then, a white light shone. And out of that white light, there came the most beautiful sounds, the most beautiful voices I had ever heard, far more beautiful than any song that Mary-Sue could conjure.
The song, the sound, was of many voices. The melody was strong, loud, clear, soft, and so wonderful, yet so low and sad, all at the same time.
"This couldn't be..." whispered someone from behind me. "...it... they are... the Song of the Maiar... the Ainur..."
Then, to my disappointment, the song soon faded. But it was soon overtaken by several different tunes, not all of them necessarily merry or sad. It was a college of songs fading in and out.
"Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!..." ... "We must away, ere break of day, To find our long-forgotten gold." ... "The sighing of the Sea beyond, Beyond the western world, on sand, On sand of pearls in Elvenland..." ... There were chants, "Ash nazg durbatluk, ash nazg gimbatul..." riddles, "It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter..." and taunting phrases, too. "Fifteen birds in five firtrees... Oh what shall we do with the funny little things?"
"Author," whispered Onikunshu from behind me. "Lower your head.... The Spirits of the Canon approach."
Tonight... is a night of great honor and support. A night when all fans of The Lord of the Rings films unite, whether they bash certain characters, or whether they live off the characters' existence. Tonight, we sit together at the same table and watch and support as our favorite movie goes up in the Oscar Awards. We will not care for our differences tonight. We will not care for how many grudges we have formed in the past year. Nor shall we care for how many fangirls each male member of the Fellowship counts for.
For tonight, we sit together at the same table and watch and support as our favorite movie goes up in the Oscar Awards. Also tonight... I will step down from my position as the Legolas Assassinator, and support Movie-Legolas if it means that LOTR will win the Oscar. But soon after, my spears and flags are going up again in glorious Sue-Leggy bashing.
However, tonight may also be a night of defeat and sorrow. Despite the obstacle of other movies conquering over LOTR, there is also the massive blindness that may occur in the very near future. With the promotion of the movie, in all of its glorified magnificence, there may also be a decline in the intentional desire of several fans to read the book. Yet the night also bears chance. If curiosity gets the best of humanity, then it may also boost the popularity of the book. We can never know.
But still, tonight we thank Tolkien, the one who wrote it all. He who wrote the book, was he who inspired the movie. And he who inspired the movie is he who made any LOTR Oscar nomination possible. And in conclusion...
Thank you, Tolkien.
~Naheka 8:25 pm; March 23, 2003
Author's Note:
This... is the introduction to the climax, and a very powerful climax at that. If you need me to send an e-mail explaning a few things in this chapter, just let me know. I'll finish the rest of my boring speech later.
~Naheka
Through a tangle of limbs and panting, the fleeing team lay sprawled on the seashell pink marble floor, shielding their eyes from the white and red strains of light bouncing off the walls and ceiling. It was like fierce lightning each time the light beat into an even stronger force than it was before. Even Oni, who had seen powers and technology that surpassed even what Trisha came from, was in awe. Yes, he had encountered individual devices capable of mass destruction, but never anything as great as what he witnessed at this very moment.
They had been running from the advancing Sues a few seconds ago, until they slammed into two insane women, Narcissus and Ari, around a corner. In the collision, Ember and Wisdom flew out of grasp, but smacked right into each other as they fell. Frankly, it was enough of a force to knock them both back into consciousness. Unfortunately for them, the first thing they saw was a pair of iridescent purple slippers.
For sure, they all would have been Sue-afied if a certain Ringwraith hadn't jumped out of nowhere and somehow hooked his sword up to pull together such a strength to fend off the Mary-Sues. Now, he was advancing on them, pointing the tip of his blade towards the nearest Mary-Sue. And then, poof!
The Mary-Sues disappeared into nothingness.
"How did you do that?" gasped Ari as the lightning faded and Joe let his armed hand down. Joe turned and looked back at the group, but spoke no words.
"I believe," said Morikallo softly, "that there really must be something more under that hood of yours."
"Something much, much, more," muttered Oni.
~Naheka~
"Good-bye, Legolas."
Bzzt. Bzzt. The horrified look on the elf's face suddenly became static, flicking in and out of sight. Poof! Then he disappeared. A silence...
Naurglahad took a deep sigh, looking down at her hands, which she had hoped would be covered with blood. Instead, it was dusty in the ashes of the gun fire, and trembling because she didn't pull the trigger that one last time. She slid down to her knees, bending towards the ground as if she wanted to keel over and die. Forsaken, cried the pale expression on her face, Forsaken!
Smoke rose from the ground and rain from the sky, gray and blackened with gunpowder. Looking up to face the rain, she opened her mouth, letting her tongue catch every drop she could manage. But then she spit it out, realizing that it was actually water from the sprinklers above, which meant that it was water from the Mary-Sue storage system. 'Twas water from the enemy. She spat it out.
I was still laying there, half dead and horrified from being proposed by one of my own worst enemies. "Naheka," said the OC, not moving from her angst-fed position, down on her knees, facing the sky, with trembling hands laying palms-up on the ground.
I croaked, "What?"
She did not answer immediately. "How big of a scene am I making?"
"...Very big."
"Very?"
"Yes, very big. The kiddies in the corner of the theater are crying, now."
"Really?"
"Yes..."
"Good."
"I... need... therapy," groaned someone a few feet away from me.
"We all do," replied another voice.
Of course, I could not blame my fellow Authors for being so exhausted after going through... going through... well, going through all of that traumatic drama stuff and horror and torture and evil... evil... Mary-Sues. "What happened, anyway?"
"Something that no Author should ever have to go through."
I managed to turn my head to look to the side. The rain had stopped and the other OCs were there, looking just as exhausted as we felt. I envied them for their ability to at least stand up. Joe stood above us, silently standing in the stillness, examining the destroyed and burning terrain.
Which I had soon noticed was not burning or wet or scratched at all!
"all right!" I shouted angrily, getting myself dizzy from all the effort. "What the hell is going on here?"
"We're going insane!" cried Jiana from the far corner.
"We ARE insane!" answered Amarth.
"You probably have gone insane, because all twelve of you Authors," said Joe, "have been Fictionally Abused."
"Fictitiously what?"
"Fictionally Abused," repeated Joe. "And in this case of abuse, you have been used in a Fiction Dome!"
"This is a Fiction Dome?" I asked.
"I thought it was a torture chamber," muttered Phantom.
"It was a Fiction Dome used as a torture chamber for Authors," continued Joe, "which is of course an extreme violation of FFNH's rules." The creak of his metal shoes indicated that he had started walking as he explained. "For the Fiction Dome is strictly only built for an OC's Existence Pattern."
"It's science class all over again," groaned Newmoon.
"That means that only OC's can be used in a Fiction Dome. Authors shouldn't be put in Fiction Domes. Why? Because an Author, unlike an Original Creation, has an actual human DNA! When a Reality is confronted by a Fantasy, the Reality begins to lose itself and become more like the Fantasy, which is incapable of surviving in the Reality World. So when Authors, a subject of Reality, is confronted by the powers of the Fiction Dome, a subject of Fantasy, the Authors may encounter severe mental and physical changes!"
By the time he finished, the Authors were half asleep, Ari was asleep (resting on Kallo's shoulder), Trisha had her eyes crossed, Oni was writing in his Blog again (Narcissus reading over his shoulder), Ember and Wisdom were playing Jacks, Head Muse was knitting, #2 and #4 were playing Poker, and #3 was knitting. As for Naurglahad, Jack and Ted were trying to detach her from Blue (she wouldn't let go of his ankles, screaming "I HAVE BEEN FORSAKEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!")
Joe just stood there, staring at the lack of educational thirst. He was about to make the room go dark and reprimand us for our ignorance, until hell and its minions came leaping through the broken window and through the door. Not surprisingly, they had just a bit of a make-up touch before they decided to invade gallantly (there was a Sue in the back of the crowd, still attending to her dark blue mascara).
"We've come for the prisoners!" exclaimed several Mary-Sues. "And also to destroy the Nazgul!"
"And we shall capture thou defiant Authors, for thy is going to be punished!" cried another.
Joe turned around and replied dully, "Shouldn't it be more like 'Thou shalt be punished for thy unholy deeds, O foul Authors of blah blah blah' or something like that?"
"I know how to use my English!" she bickered. "Since I'm half elfish half hobbit and half fairy, I know all the languages of the world!"
"Well, for your information, there is no English, nor 'elfish', nor fairy people in the world; there is Westron, and there are the elven folk. Fairies. Don't. Exist. And to add to that--" he shouted something harshly in the Black Tongue.
The Sue paused for a moment. "You said something bad, right?"
"No," he said in a sarcastic tone, "I was pointing out the fact that you missed a spot of blush on your nose."
"Really?" she squealed, grabbing a brush from her pocket. Another Sue grabbed her wrist and told her to put the brush away.
"That's enough!" exclaimed a blonde Sue that stood in the front. "I am Estelia, true lover of Estel!"
"And one hell of a slutty and preppy cheerleader!" roared Naurglahad, still clinging onto Blue's ankle.
"But I," continued Estelia, ignoring the former Sue-Angawende, "I am tired of your smart-ass remarks, Nazgul!" She unsheathed a silver-blue sword with flowers etched on the blade. "I will kill you, first!"
Joe just stared at her for a few moments. Then, a new sound came softly at first from him, but rose to a volume loud enough for all to hear. It was laughter! A mocking laughter! "Do you seriously believe that you and your fictitious sword can harm me in any way?"
"Of course!" retorted Estelia. "I'm me! I'm Estel's lover! Estel is the King of Condor and---"
"Silence!"
I had finally gained the strength to back as far away from Joe as possible. My fellow Authors had the wisdom to do the same. The OCs were also backing up, but oddly, they weren't panicking as I had felt. Instead, they all backed up with their heads lowered, as if bowing to something. Finally, I had the curiosity to look up myself.
And even today, it is very hard for me to understand how any of this had ever happened. Joe had unsheathed his sword, and tossed it into the air... where it floated, still in time without movement or breath. Many of the Mary-Sues gasped at the sight. Then, a white light shone. And out of that white light, there came the most beautiful sounds, the most beautiful voices I had ever heard, far more beautiful than any song that Mary-Sue could conjure.
The song, the sound, was of many voices. The melody was strong, loud, clear, soft, and so wonderful, yet so low and sad, all at the same time.
"This couldn't be..." whispered someone from behind me. "...it... they are... the Song of the Maiar... the Ainur..."
Then, to my disappointment, the song soon faded. But it was soon overtaken by several different tunes, not all of them necessarily merry or sad. It was a college of songs fading in and out.
"Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!..." ... "We must away, ere break of day, To find our long-forgotten gold." ... "The sighing of the Sea beyond, Beyond the western world, on sand, On sand of pearls in Elvenland..." ... There were chants, "Ash nazg durbatluk, ash nazg gimbatul..." riddles, "It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter..." and taunting phrases, too. "Fifteen birds in five firtrees... Oh what shall we do with the funny little things?"
"Author," whispered Onikunshu from behind me. "Lower your head.... The Spirits of the Canon approach."
Tonight... is a night of great honor and support. A night when all fans of The Lord of the Rings films unite, whether they bash certain characters, or whether they live off the characters' existence. Tonight, we sit together at the same table and watch and support as our favorite movie goes up in the Oscar Awards. We will not care for our differences tonight. We will not care for how many grudges we have formed in the past year. Nor shall we care for how many fangirls each male member of the Fellowship counts for.
For tonight, we sit together at the same table and watch and support as our favorite movie goes up in the Oscar Awards. Also tonight... I will step down from my position as the Legolas Assassinator, and support Movie-Legolas if it means that LOTR will win the Oscar. But soon after, my spears and flags are going up again in glorious Sue-Leggy bashing.
However, tonight may also be a night of defeat and sorrow. Despite the obstacle of other movies conquering over LOTR, there is also the massive blindness that may occur in the very near future. With the promotion of the movie, in all of its glorified magnificence, there may also be a decline in the intentional desire of several fans to read the book. Yet the night also bears chance. If curiosity gets the best of humanity, then it may also boost the popularity of the book. We can never know.
But still, tonight we thank Tolkien, the one who wrote it all. He who wrote the book, was he who inspired the movie. And he who inspired the movie is he who made any LOTR Oscar nomination possible. And in conclusion...
Thank you, Tolkien.
~Naheka 8:25 pm; March 23, 2003