Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. It
belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien. All Authors and OCs used with permission.
Author's Note:
This is it! The finale! It's also the longest chapter I've got for you: including the notes at the bottom, this one is 10 pages long. 10 pages. That's twice the usual amount. But you all deserved it!
Tally-ho!
~Naheka
The File Cabinet
Onikunshu and Morikallo had taken amusement in challenging each other to a strongly competitive race: who can break away from the OC choir first with their mate clinging to their ankles. The elf was in the lead at the moment, staggering and struggling at a gallant pace, Ari still holding tightly onto his wrist ("Kallo? Where are we going? Stop pulling! WHERE ARE WE GOING!?!?!")
However, the dragon lord was slowly inching away from the group of traveling OCs, some who were warming up (Elenmir was doing a good job; Trisha at the same), or patiently (Ted and Wisdom) grumbling (Jack and Ember) about how they were going to pull off something of a show (the Muses, running back and forth and diagonally and all) whether they'd do good (Blue) or so bad that it wasn't even funny (Naurglahad with an evil grin).
"HA!" called Morikallo, trudging ahead of Oni, Ari still stubbornly in tow. "Who's less reluctant to sing now, eh? I'M in the lead! I don't have to sing! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Onikunshu stopped and panted, putting a hand to his temple in sense of ridicule. Narcissus was worse than an iron ball and chain attached to an anchor on a ship. She had applied the same pulling force to Oni's wrist in an attempt to rejoin the herd and get the little musical over with. ("It's for Nauri, Oni! I don't want to disappoint my daughter too badly!") Finally, he stopped pulling at her to take a breath. Morikallo was still ahead, laughing maniacally. ("YOU'LL NEVER CATCH MEEE! NEVERRRRRR!!!")
Okay, so the dragon lord lost the blasted race. The end. So what? The loss only makes room for revenge.
"Hm," he pondered aloud in a voice loud enough for the elf to hear, "well, that only proves that my woman is much more aggressive than the elf's woman and therefore BETTER and STRONGER than the elf's woman."
At those words, Morikallo stopped dead in his tracks. His limbs were stiff as he slowly turned to face Oni behind him. "You... take... that... back..."
Oni stuck his tongue out at him. "Ha. My girl is better than your girl." He looked very pleased to see his opponent frustrated.
"Hmph," snorted Kallo, "then if the dragon's woman is stronger than my woman, then the dragon's woman must have lots of muscle... and no brains."
Flames of competition roared as both males ducked low and pushed back their shoulders, as if preparing for a personal and fatal combat. All the meanwhile, Ari looked thoughtful to realize that her Kallo would stand up for her like that. Narcissus was chuckling darkly to herself, "And it all goes according to plan. Mwahaha..."
Just as the dragon and elf were about to launch at each other, a certain someone came strolling by from behind. "Now what are you silly myth creatures doing?"
Naurglahad, at the front of the herd, whipped around and spotted the long-sought victim. "JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEE!!!" She bolted through the crowd and pounced on his shoulders, almost bringing him down on the ground. "Hi, Joe! Watch' doin', Joe? Do anything special, Joe?" She looked down at the shock-strucken Nazgul. A creak of metal occurred. "...Dude. Did your finger just fall off?"
Putting a hand to the side of his hood, he shook his head. "I... don't... know... ow...."
"Well..." Naurglahad slung an elbow on his left shoulder, leaning against him like a brick-wall. "See, we've got a problem, Joe. And all the guys here," she waved her arm before the crowd of OCs (anticipating a cue), "know that you're a good, great, wise... spectacular, kind, compassionate, superiorly... spiffingly... wonderful, talented, unique... caring--"
"Will you knock it off, already?"
"Sure... well, Joe, we've got a few questions for you..."
~Naheka~
"The only songs that they're going to sing," I concluded aloud, jogging after the mass exodus of OCs, "are the ones that I've heard; stuff from musicals I've heard; or whenever people are singing altogether for a story."
"What's the last musical you've seen?" asked Phantom.
"That's the thing... I can't remember."
At least there weren't any Mary-Sue apprentices jogging with us. We had a difficult getting them to retreat back to their own offices, but Vana saved the day by shouting at them loudly enough to scare all twelve of them off.
We halted abruptly. Spotting the gnarled, low, and bushy tree on my far left, I realized that this was the same place that we had been chased by the Mary-Sue in some other chapter. My eyes darted to the right, toward the forest. I had hoped that the Mary-Sues had stopped frolicking too close to the thin edge of the wood. But the OCs were standing up in a crowd, surrounding my black-hooded secretary in a huddled pack. Poor, poor Joe. Naurglahad was leaning on his shoulder, with an incredibly familiar smirk on her face. Though it was her own look, I had a feeling that someone else had worn it.
Realization hit me hard.
"My satanic OCs are going to sing songs from a Christian movie."
Suddenly, the broke apart and started dancing around in wide steps, singing, "What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening!" And they kept repeating it over and over again, dancing back and forth. "What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening!"
"What's that from?" whispered Kitty.
"Jesus Christ: Superstar," I muttered dully. Naurglahad was prowling around in the back of the crowd, now, watching Joe like a vulture. "And Nauri gets to play Judas."
But then, to our utter surprise, Joe replied in song, "Why should you want to know? Don't you mind about the future. Don't you try to think ahead. Save tomorrow for tomorrow." The really, really scary thing was that his voice sounded rather clear and normal, unlike his usual, deep Wraith tone. Vana looked ready to faint. "Think about today instead. I could give you facts and figures. I could give you plans and forecasts. Even tell you where I'm going."
The OCs were silent. None of them had expected a Nazgul to reply to a sudden outbreak of song.
And of all people, Oni started, "When do we!"
The rest of the OCs jumped back into song, moving around again but sticking an arm out with a bent wrist and galloping around, pretending to ride on horses. "Ride to Jerusalem! When do we, ride to Jerusalem? When do we--"
"STOP! STOP! STOP!" I ran in, arms flailing and screaming, "DO NOT ASSOCIATE YOUR UNHOLY DEEDS WITH BIBLICAL PLACES!"
Naurglahad just stared at me. "Goodness, we are a pious Catho-holic*, aren't we?"
"STOPPIT!"
She just snorted at me and turned to face Joe. "So," she said coolly, slowly beginning to pace around him, "you're not going to say anything special, Joe? Nothing too great about last week? No confessions? No secrets?"
Joe shook his head. "Nope."
"Well..." I began to notice that the OCs were backing up to form a sort of crescent-shaped crowd. "We know that you have a secret, Joe. But I suppose you believe that it's just too... spectacular for us to hear, eh?"
"Maybe..."
"Because it's just..." They sprang apart again! "Spectacular! Spectacular!"
Wisdom jumped in. "The words of the vernacular!" It was pretty much an exact replay of what happened before the war began.
"Can't describe this great event," recited Ember in the same tone. "You'll be dumb with wonderment!"
"Rewards are fixed at ten percent!" added Jack. "You must agree that's excellent!"
"And on top of your fee," sang Narcissus.
"You'll be involved artistically," sang Oni.
All the OCs gathered together and put their hands on each other's shoulders. "So exciting," they all sang together. "The Authors will all stomp and cheer!" They flung their arms back, gesturing to the twelve of us. "So delighting, it'll run for fifty years! So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer! So delighting it'll run for fifty years!"
They jumped apart.
"Mary-Sues!" sang Elenmir.
"And Dragon Lords!" added Narcissus fondly.
"Elvish blood!" sang Blue.
"And countless wars!" went Trisha.
"Twelve Authors!" exclaimed Morikallo.
"And mad OCs!" sang all four of Vana's muses.
"Bloody deaths!" cried Ember.
"Fire breathers!" shouted Ted.
"Rocks thrown at the Mary-Sues," sang everyone in harmony. "Intrigue, danger..."
"And romance lives!" proclaimed Narcissus and Ari. Oni and Kallo shook their heads.
"Eccentric fights! The creamery!"
"And all the electricity!" boomed Naurglahad.
Again, the OCs jumped together. "So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer! So delighting, it'll run for fifty years! So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer! So delighting it'll run for fifty years! Spectacular Spectacular! The words of the vernacular! Can't describe this great event! You'll be dumb with wonderment!"
Then they started dancing. "The hills are alive. With the sound of killing!" Blue began to wonder if he should drop her and run as Naurglahad laughed maniacally in his arms. Oni's fists clenched, so he decided to drop the girl on her feet to avoid her father's wrath.
Altogether, "So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer!" They were jumping up and down on the spot like maniacs...again... "So delighting, it'll run for fifty years! So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer! So delighting it'll run for fiiiiiftyyyyy yeeeeeaaaaaars!"
No one spoke as they finished the song in a collage-like position; every OC in a dramatic pose facing the audience: ourselves and Joe.
"...Lovely," grunted Joe.
This time, the OCs hadn't bothered to assemble a stage of any sort. Instead, they pushed Oni up to the front, again, where he recited, "The OCs now un-secret plan, brought nothing to the MS clan."
"And so we had some stupid war," sang Narcissus.
"That sadly lacked in bloody gore..."
"Hm," chuckled Phantom in the corner. "We're missing a Duke to sing off key for us..."
"So exciting!" sang the OCs again, "We'll make you scoff, we'll make you cry. So delighting---"
"And in the end, how many died?" asked several Authors.
The OCs blinked. "Well," explained Wisdom, "I kinda' counted. We had forty-seven injured and twenty-one dead. Only one opponent died. The rest remained unscathed." Everyone bowed their heads.
There was silence. "But who," countered Naurglahad, "who was responsible for this? This was all to who?"
The OCs bent toward us in anticipation, expecting an answer from us.
"To Mary-Sue," replied Newmoon.
"To Mary-Sue!" I exclaimed.
Phantom was the first of us to jump up and start singing, "To Mary-Sue!"
Sammy and Hoshiko jumped up next. "Though Mary-Sue be hardly loved."
"And written by few of little brain," added Amarth.
"Though Mary-Sue still breathes alive, doom we promise to rain!" cackled Kitty and Penelope.
"We go, we go, we go to war!" shouted Europa.
"To hew ideas and break its pride!" exclaimed Jiana.
"For literature itself we go to war!" hollered Coffeegirl.
"Our hate no longer kept inside!" cheered Vana.
"To story of fraud, with joy we trod," we all sang together.
"Killing is fun!" I roared.
Again in harmony, "We come! We come!
To Mary-Sue with doom we come!
With doom we come, with doom we come!"
And before I knew it, we were all up and jumping about, outwardly celebrating the liberation of Mary-Sue. Whatever had happened in the past week, I didn't care. Joe had saved us somehow, and the Canon bestowed grace unto us. Countless of whether such freedom and happiness was temporary or not, we were all very glad that this, this final song, was the end of the story.
And for the most part of it, that's all that had really mattered.
~*~
I pushed and heaved a brown wool sack into a safe behind Joe's desk. He tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a missing credit; a long, iridescent purple piece of metal; a single Review. "Thanks." I drew open the sack and tossed the Review on top of the pile with the rest of them. "And you're sure you've counted one hundred?"
"There's more to come," said Joe, "but I've counted one-hundred Reviews, so far."
Drawing the sack shut again, I slammed the safe door shut and spun the black and silver lock twice to the left, four times to the right, stop, another twelve right, nine left, and one more left before Joe told me to, "Stop playing with the dial, Naheka."
I grinned, stepping aside to allow the Ringwraith to strap a heavy, steel bar around the safe door. As he adjusted the locks, I began to shut the windows and secure the Fiction Dome with a password code on the left of the white portal. Switching off all the controls on the panel, I heard the rattling of chains securing the handles on the file cabinet.
Unhooking the keys from the wall beside the door, I knocked twice on the metal drawers. "G'night, guys."
"Shut up," grunted someone from inside.
"I love you, too, Oni," sighed Narcissus.
"Shut up."
Laughing to ourselves, Joe and I finally switched off the lights and left the building together, Joe with his arms crossed, I swinging the rubber-Ring key-chain on my left index finger.
"So you're really not gonna' tell us anything, eh?" I asked with a kick in every step I took.
"Nope," he replied shortly.
"I guess I'll just keep away, but only out of respect, of course." We turned a corner in time to witness a herd of Uruk-Hai stampede by with a load of fangirls on their backs. One of them was chortling about 'potato soup' or something like that. "I will not deny that I am very curious."
"Well..." Joe stopped in his tracks, taking a deep breath and shrugging his shoulders. "I'll just tell you this, then... Try to imagine... having a sort of amnesia. You almost know where you are, but there's a stronger force out there that says you're where you shouldn't be. But since you don't know too much about yourself or your past... your master gives you a job." He turned to me. "I can't remember anything from when I was alive, before my corruption. I'm actually unsure if I ever was alive." He then started walking again. "But I've got a job to do, and a master is careless of whatever happened before. It's my task. And I might find out who I used to be if I finish it up good."
Looking up ahead, I saw the solitary bus stop waiting at the corner. "Aw, Joe. Don't worry." I elbowed him on his shoulder. "You'll still have friends to help you on the way. You help everyone out a lot, too." As he and I began to part at the bright yellow sign, I said, "And that's all that'll matter to me, buddy."
Joe stopped and turned. "Thanks, Naheka." He began to walk away, off to another bus stop. "I'll keep that trust in mind."
I waved at him as I watched his black figure finally walk over the cement pavement, off into the distance and seemingly into the sky, the darkness of night. He'd always be walking into that darkness, no matter how bright the stars or how gentle each cloud was painted into the sky. It was his condemned and secure fate to walk in shadow.
Or for now, at least.
~*~
"Hey, Naheka."
I scooted up on my tattered leather seat on the bus to make room for C-chan, who came trudging in with a tired grin on her face.
"Hi, C-chan."
I leaned against the window, looking out into the night. Tiny pinpricks, the lights of houses and cities, flickered by without a pattern. How normal. How real. How dully real.
"So... whatcha' been doin'?"
My legs felt sore as I kneeled on the seat to take one last glance towards Fan Fiction dot Net Head Quarters, one last time. The campus stood there in the waning moonlight, still and beautifully majestic, eluding all of the evils and happiness that lurked within, as was the cover of almost every book. I sighed, slumping back into my seat and leaning against the window again.
"Mm.... Not much."
*Catho-holic - one who is in obesssion of Catholisis--Catholisim--Cathi--ERGH! Cath-o-lo-si-cim. I think that's how ye' spell it. (walks off muttering about how she can't spell the name of her own religion)
FIRST AND FINAL SELF-REVIEW
(self-critique by Naheka)
PLOT:
Well, this was definitely an unusual plot; a bunch of Authors run into Mary-Sues, OCs are caught, one is corrupted, two escape and promote the war, battle ensues, one is un-corrupted, battle is lost, Authors taken, Authors tortured, OCs invade, Joe does a fancy trick, and the Canon comes to the resuce! And when I began writing this story in September '02, I hadn't quite intended on loading such drama on the whole thing.
I suppose it's one that is rather unique. It was exhausting to write, but seeing how it turned it, I thought I did alright. Pretty good. Woah.
IMAGERY:
There were definitely times when I came to a point where I thought my writing was just not so good. When writing the first few measures of this story, I felt a strong flow running through my mind, and eventually down to my fingers (don't worry; I sewed my thumb back on just yesterday). My ideas were huge and full of detail and color and clarity. I wanted to put as much imagery of the scene as I could; over-done emphasis on the characters may acutally tilt towards a Mary-Sue diction. But sometimes, I had to concentrate on balancing the description of scene with the description of action. Often I wrote too much action and not enough scenery; thank goodness I had time to proof-read my work for a couple chapters.
But overall I really enjoyed describing scenes, whether I'd be good or not. Characters I like describing throughout the story as the plot. But you'd never catch me stating character stats in an Author's Note, not even for a drama.
DICTION:
Every once in a while, I would look back and check to see how my vocabulary fuctions. And not meaning to flatter myself, but sometimes I would think, "Wow! I'm barely old enough to read my own fanfiction, and this is what's coming out of my head." I admit that I had impressed myself in several spots of this story. But self-admiration isn't quite something that comes easily to me, lest I'm being sarcastic around close friends. If you catch me strutting near you, then I probably consider you as a good friend.
However, I also ran into points where I felt that it seemed... well, when my writing seemed rather slanted. I've added Dictionary.Com to my toolbar to get quick access to a thesaurus and dictionary; learned a lot of new words that way. There'll be more to come. (Am I the only one who thought that a Thesaurus was a dinosaur in fifth grade?)
PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR:
...Oh boy. Don't get me started on this bucko. I've probably made a billion of these. :P
OVERALL:
...Pretty good. Nice. Very eccentric plot. I am so tired. Whoo! But it's a good exhaustion. It was definitely worth while.
[end critique]
Signed,
Naheka
Final Notes:
Thank you so much, everyone! You all did a great job responding to surveys and everything. Again, you've all contributed so much to the story and helped it along the whole way. Thanks for all your encouragement and everything. I apologize for late chapters and all that kuffufin'. You should all be recieving something in your inboxes sometime later. The Authors that donated Orignal Characters to this production know about it, but there's something else that I'm working on at the moment. Give me a bit of time, and I'll deliver my final farewell message to you.
But of course, this is only the farewell for TFC.
Sequel-ness! But don't count on it coming tomorrow morning or anything like that. I've got a lot of work to do; tweaking on websites, finishing my chronology, re-writing my chronology, remembering to breathe, and this nasty little bugger called "EXAMS". If you'd like an update on when the sequel is published (prepare to count the months) please SEND ME AN E-MAIL INDICATING SO, NOT A REVIEW.
And my last request before I let you happy folks go: I'm reforming a certain Legomance that I wrote in a galaxy far, far away. I have some ideas on how to make it BETTER so that it's not so Mary-Sue-ish (all Legomances are Sue-ish; I swear, they HAVE to be). Is anyone willing to listen to my idea? Again, please send in e-mail, not a review.
THANKS EVERYONE! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY! LOVE YOU ALL!
Truly yours,
Naheka and Joe the Nazgul
May 3, 2003
Author's Note:
This is it! The finale! It's also the longest chapter I've got for you: including the notes at the bottom, this one is 10 pages long. 10 pages. That's twice the usual amount. But you all deserved it!
Tally-ho!
~Naheka
The File Cabinet
Onikunshu and Morikallo had taken amusement in challenging each other to a strongly competitive race: who can break away from the OC choir first with their mate clinging to their ankles. The elf was in the lead at the moment, staggering and struggling at a gallant pace, Ari still holding tightly onto his wrist ("Kallo? Where are we going? Stop pulling! WHERE ARE WE GOING!?!?!")
However, the dragon lord was slowly inching away from the group of traveling OCs, some who were warming up (Elenmir was doing a good job; Trisha at the same), or patiently (Ted and Wisdom) grumbling (Jack and Ember) about how they were going to pull off something of a show (the Muses, running back and forth and diagonally and all) whether they'd do good (Blue) or so bad that it wasn't even funny (Naurglahad with an evil grin).
"HA!" called Morikallo, trudging ahead of Oni, Ari still stubbornly in tow. "Who's less reluctant to sing now, eh? I'M in the lead! I don't have to sing! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Onikunshu stopped and panted, putting a hand to his temple in sense of ridicule. Narcissus was worse than an iron ball and chain attached to an anchor on a ship. She had applied the same pulling force to Oni's wrist in an attempt to rejoin the herd and get the little musical over with. ("It's for Nauri, Oni! I don't want to disappoint my daughter too badly!") Finally, he stopped pulling at her to take a breath. Morikallo was still ahead, laughing maniacally. ("YOU'LL NEVER CATCH MEEE! NEVERRRRRR!!!")
Okay, so the dragon lord lost the blasted race. The end. So what? The loss only makes room for revenge.
"Hm," he pondered aloud in a voice loud enough for the elf to hear, "well, that only proves that my woman is much more aggressive than the elf's woman and therefore BETTER and STRONGER than the elf's woman."
At those words, Morikallo stopped dead in his tracks. His limbs were stiff as he slowly turned to face Oni behind him. "You... take... that... back..."
Oni stuck his tongue out at him. "Ha. My girl is better than your girl." He looked very pleased to see his opponent frustrated.
"Hmph," snorted Kallo, "then if the dragon's woman is stronger than my woman, then the dragon's woman must have lots of muscle... and no brains."
Flames of competition roared as both males ducked low and pushed back their shoulders, as if preparing for a personal and fatal combat. All the meanwhile, Ari looked thoughtful to realize that her Kallo would stand up for her like that. Narcissus was chuckling darkly to herself, "And it all goes according to plan. Mwahaha..."
Just as the dragon and elf were about to launch at each other, a certain someone came strolling by from behind. "Now what are you silly myth creatures doing?"
Naurglahad, at the front of the herd, whipped around and spotted the long-sought victim. "JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEE!!!" She bolted through the crowd and pounced on his shoulders, almost bringing him down on the ground. "Hi, Joe! Watch' doin', Joe? Do anything special, Joe?" She looked down at the shock-strucken Nazgul. A creak of metal occurred. "...Dude. Did your finger just fall off?"
Putting a hand to the side of his hood, he shook his head. "I... don't... know... ow...."
"Well..." Naurglahad slung an elbow on his left shoulder, leaning against him like a brick-wall. "See, we've got a problem, Joe. And all the guys here," she waved her arm before the crowd of OCs (anticipating a cue), "know that you're a good, great, wise... spectacular, kind, compassionate, superiorly... spiffingly... wonderful, talented, unique... caring--"
"Will you knock it off, already?"
"Sure... well, Joe, we've got a few questions for you..."
~Naheka~
"The only songs that they're going to sing," I concluded aloud, jogging after the mass exodus of OCs, "are the ones that I've heard; stuff from musicals I've heard; or whenever people are singing altogether for a story."
"What's the last musical you've seen?" asked Phantom.
"That's the thing... I can't remember."
At least there weren't any Mary-Sue apprentices jogging with us. We had a difficult getting them to retreat back to their own offices, but Vana saved the day by shouting at them loudly enough to scare all twelve of them off.
We halted abruptly. Spotting the gnarled, low, and bushy tree on my far left, I realized that this was the same place that we had been chased by the Mary-Sue in some other chapter. My eyes darted to the right, toward the forest. I had hoped that the Mary-Sues had stopped frolicking too close to the thin edge of the wood. But the OCs were standing up in a crowd, surrounding my black-hooded secretary in a huddled pack. Poor, poor Joe. Naurglahad was leaning on his shoulder, with an incredibly familiar smirk on her face. Though it was her own look, I had a feeling that someone else had worn it.
Realization hit me hard.
"My satanic OCs are going to sing songs from a Christian movie."
Suddenly, the broke apart and started dancing around in wide steps, singing, "What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening!" And they kept repeating it over and over again, dancing back and forth. "What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening!"
"What's that from?" whispered Kitty.
"Jesus Christ: Superstar," I muttered dully. Naurglahad was prowling around in the back of the crowd, now, watching Joe like a vulture. "And Nauri gets to play Judas."
But then, to our utter surprise, Joe replied in song, "Why should you want to know? Don't you mind about the future. Don't you try to think ahead. Save tomorrow for tomorrow." The really, really scary thing was that his voice sounded rather clear and normal, unlike his usual, deep Wraith tone. Vana looked ready to faint. "Think about today instead. I could give you facts and figures. I could give you plans and forecasts. Even tell you where I'm going."
The OCs were silent. None of them had expected a Nazgul to reply to a sudden outbreak of song.
And of all people, Oni started, "When do we!"
The rest of the OCs jumped back into song, moving around again but sticking an arm out with a bent wrist and galloping around, pretending to ride on horses. "Ride to Jerusalem! When do we, ride to Jerusalem? When do we--"
"STOP! STOP! STOP!" I ran in, arms flailing and screaming, "DO NOT ASSOCIATE YOUR UNHOLY DEEDS WITH BIBLICAL PLACES!"
Naurglahad just stared at me. "Goodness, we are a pious Catho-holic*, aren't we?"
"STOPPIT!"
She just snorted at me and turned to face Joe. "So," she said coolly, slowly beginning to pace around him, "you're not going to say anything special, Joe? Nothing too great about last week? No confessions? No secrets?"
Joe shook his head. "Nope."
"Well..." I began to notice that the OCs were backing up to form a sort of crescent-shaped crowd. "We know that you have a secret, Joe. But I suppose you believe that it's just too... spectacular for us to hear, eh?"
"Maybe..."
"Because it's just..." They sprang apart again! "Spectacular! Spectacular!"
Wisdom jumped in. "The words of the vernacular!" It was pretty much an exact replay of what happened before the war began.
"Can't describe this great event," recited Ember in the same tone. "You'll be dumb with wonderment!"
"Rewards are fixed at ten percent!" added Jack. "You must agree that's excellent!"
"And on top of your fee," sang Narcissus.
"You'll be involved artistically," sang Oni.
All the OCs gathered together and put their hands on each other's shoulders. "So exciting," they all sang together. "The Authors will all stomp and cheer!" They flung their arms back, gesturing to the twelve of us. "So delighting, it'll run for fifty years! So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer! So delighting it'll run for fifty years!"
They jumped apart.
"Mary-Sues!" sang Elenmir.
"And Dragon Lords!" added Narcissus fondly.
"Elvish blood!" sang Blue.
"And countless wars!" went Trisha.
"Twelve Authors!" exclaimed Morikallo.
"And mad OCs!" sang all four of Vana's muses.
"Bloody deaths!" cried Ember.
"Fire breathers!" shouted Ted.
"Rocks thrown at the Mary-Sues," sang everyone in harmony. "Intrigue, danger..."
"And romance lives!" proclaimed Narcissus and Ari. Oni and Kallo shook their heads.
"Eccentric fights! The creamery!"
"And all the electricity!" boomed Naurglahad.
Again, the OCs jumped together. "So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer! So delighting, it'll run for fifty years! So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer! So delighting it'll run for fifty years! Spectacular Spectacular! The words of the vernacular! Can't describe this great event! You'll be dumb with wonderment!"
Then they started dancing. "The hills are alive. With the sound of killing!" Blue began to wonder if he should drop her and run as Naurglahad laughed maniacally in his arms. Oni's fists clenched, so he decided to drop the girl on her feet to avoid her father's wrath.
Altogether, "So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer!" They were jumping up and down on the spot like maniacs...again... "So delighting, it'll run for fifty years! So exciting! The Authors will all stomp and cheer! So delighting it'll run for fiiiiiftyyyyy yeeeeeaaaaaars!"
No one spoke as they finished the song in a collage-like position; every OC in a dramatic pose facing the audience: ourselves and Joe.
"...Lovely," grunted Joe.
This time, the OCs hadn't bothered to assemble a stage of any sort. Instead, they pushed Oni up to the front, again, where he recited, "The OCs now un-secret plan, brought nothing to the MS clan."
"And so we had some stupid war," sang Narcissus.
"That sadly lacked in bloody gore..."
"Hm," chuckled Phantom in the corner. "We're missing a Duke to sing off key for us..."
"So exciting!" sang the OCs again, "We'll make you scoff, we'll make you cry. So delighting---"
"And in the end, how many died?" asked several Authors.
The OCs blinked. "Well," explained Wisdom, "I kinda' counted. We had forty-seven injured and twenty-one dead. Only one opponent died. The rest remained unscathed." Everyone bowed their heads.
There was silence. "But who," countered Naurglahad, "who was responsible for this? This was all to who?"
The OCs bent toward us in anticipation, expecting an answer from us.
"To Mary-Sue," replied Newmoon.
"To Mary-Sue!" I exclaimed.
Phantom was the first of us to jump up and start singing, "To Mary-Sue!"
Sammy and Hoshiko jumped up next. "Though Mary-Sue be hardly loved."
"And written by few of little brain," added Amarth.
"Though Mary-Sue still breathes alive, doom we promise to rain!" cackled Kitty and Penelope.
"We go, we go, we go to war!" shouted Europa.
"To hew ideas and break its pride!" exclaimed Jiana.
"For literature itself we go to war!" hollered Coffeegirl.
"Our hate no longer kept inside!" cheered Vana.
"To story of fraud, with joy we trod," we all sang together.
"Killing is fun!" I roared.
Again in harmony, "We come! We come!
To Mary-Sue with doom we come!
With doom we come, with doom we come!"
And before I knew it, we were all up and jumping about, outwardly celebrating the liberation of Mary-Sue. Whatever had happened in the past week, I didn't care. Joe had saved us somehow, and the Canon bestowed grace unto us. Countless of whether such freedom and happiness was temporary or not, we were all very glad that this, this final song, was the end of the story.
And for the most part of it, that's all that had really mattered.
~*~
I pushed and heaved a brown wool sack into a safe behind Joe's desk. He tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a missing credit; a long, iridescent purple piece of metal; a single Review. "Thanks." I drew open the sack and tossed the Review on top of the pile with the rest of them. "And you're sure you've counted one hundred?"
"There's more to come," said Joe, "but I've counted one-hundred Reviews, so far."
Drawing the sack shut again, I slammed the safe door shut and spun the black and silver lock twice to the left, four times to the right, stop, another twelve right, nine left, and one more left before Joe told me to, "Stop playing with the dial, Naheka."
I grinned, stepping aside to allow the Ringwraith to strap a heavy, steel bar around the safe door. As he adjusted the locks, I began to shut the windows and secure the Fiction Dome with a password code on the left of the white portal. Switching off all the controls on the panel, I heard the rattling of chains securing the handles on the file cabinet.
Unhooking the keys from the wall beside the door, I knocked twice on the metal drawers. "G'night, guys."
"Shut up," grunted someone from inside.
"I love you, too, Oni," sighed Narcissus.
"Shut up."
Laughing to ourselves, Joe and I finally switched off the lights and left the building together, Joe with his arms crossed, I swinging the rubber-Ring key-chain on my left index finger.
"So you're really not gonna' tell us anything, eh?" I asked with a kick in every step I took.
"Nope," he replied shortly.
"I guess I'll just keep away, but only out of respect, of course." We turned a corner in time to witness a herd of Uruk-Hai stampede by with a load of fangirls on their backs. One of them was chortling about 'potato soup' or something like that. "I will not deny that I am very curious."
"Well..." Joe stopped in his tracks, taking a deep breath and shrugging his shoulders. "I'll just tell you this, then... Try to imagine... having a sort of amnesia. You almost know where you are, but there's a stronger force out there that says you're where you shouldn't be. But since you don't know too much about yourself or your past... your master gives you a job." He turned to me. "I can't remember anything from when I was alive, before my corruption. I'm actually unsure if I ever was alive." He then started walking again. "But I've got a job to do, and a master is careless of whatever happened before. It's my task. And I might find out who I used to be if I finish it up good."
Looking up ahead, I saw the solitary bus stop waiting at the corner. "Aw, Joe. Don't worry." I elbowed him on his shoulder. "You'll still have friends to help you on the way. You help everyone out a lot, too." As he and I began to part at the bright yellow sign, I said, "And that's all that'll matter to me, buddy."
Joe stopped and turned. "Thanks, Naheka." He began to walk away, off to another bus stop. "I'll keep that trust in mind."
I waved at him as I watched his black figure finally walk over the cement pavement, off into the distance and seemingly into the sky, the darkness of night. He'd always be walking into that darkness, no matter how bright the stars or how gentle each cloud was painted into the sky. It was his condemned and secure fate to walk in shadow.
Or for now, at least.
~*~
"Hey, Naheka."
I scooted up on my tattered leather seat on the bus to make room for C-chan, who came trudging in with a tired grin on her face.
"Hi, C-chan."
I leaned against the window, looking out into the night. Tiny pinpricks, the lights of houses and cities, flickered by without a pattern. How normal. How real. How dully real.
"So... whatcha' been doin'?"
My legs felt sore as I kneeled on the seat to take one last glance towards Fan Fiction dot Net Head Quarters, one last time. The campus stood there in the waning moonlight, still and beautifully majestic, eluding all of the evils and happiness that lurked within, as was the cover of almost every book. I sighed, slumping back into my seat and leaning against the window again.
"Mm.... Not much."
*Catho-holic - one who is in obesssion of Catholisis--Catholisim--Cathi--ERGH! Cath-o-lo-si-cim. I think that's how ye' spell it. (walks off muttering about how she can't spell the name of her own religion)
FIRST AND FINAL SELF-REVIEW
(self-critique by Naheka)
PLOT:
Well, this was definitely an unusual plot; a bunch of Authors run into Mary-Sues, OCs are caught, one is corrupted, two escape and promote the war, battle ensues, one is un-corrupted, battle is lost, Authors taken, Authors tortured, OCs invade, Joe does a fancy trick, and the Canon comes to the resuce! And when I began writing this story in September '02, I hadn't quite intended on loading such drama on the whole thing.
I suppose it's one that is rather unique. It was exhausting to write, but seeing how it turned it, I thought I did alright. Pretty good. Woah.
IMAGERY:
There were definitely times when I came to a point where I thought my writing was just not so good. When writing the first few measures of this story, I felt a strong flow running through my mind, and eventually down to my fingers (don't worry; I sewed my thumb back on just yesterday). My ideas were huge and full of detail and color and clarity. I wanted to put as much imagery of the scene as I could; over-done emphasis on the characters may acutally tilt towards a Mary-Sue diction. But sometimes, I had to concentrate on balancing the description of scene with the description of action. Often I wrote too much action and not enough scenery; thank goodness I had time to proof-read my work for a couple chapters.
But overall I really enjoyed describing scenes, whether I'd be good or not. Characters I like describing throughout the story as the plot. But you'd never catch me stating character stats in an Author's Note, not even for a drama.
DICTION:
Every once in a while, I would look back and check to see how my vocabulary fuctions. And not meaning to flatter myself, but sometimes I would think, "Wow! I'm barely old enough to read my own fanfiction, and this is what's coming out of my head." I admit that I had impressed myself in several spots of this story. But self-admiration isn't quite something that comes easily to me, lest I'm being sarcastic around close friends. If you catch me strutting near you, then I probably consider you as a good friend.
However, I also ran into points where I felt that it seemed... well, when my writing seemed rather slanted. I've added Dictionary.Com to my toolbar to get quick access to a thesaurus and dictionary; learned a lot of new words that way. There'll be more to come. (Am I the only one who thought that a Thesaurus was a dinosaur in fifth grade?)
PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR:
...Oh boy. Don't get me started on this bucko. I've probably made a billion of these. :P
OVERALL:
...Pretty good. Nice. Very eccentric plot. I am so tired. Whoo! But it's a good exhaustion. It was definitely worth while.
[end critique]
Signed,
Naheka
Final Notes:
Thank you so much, everyone! You all did a great job responding to surveys and everything. Again, you've all contributed so much to the story and helped it along the whole way. Thanks for all your encouragement and everything. I apologize for late chapters and all that kuffufin'. You should all be recieving something in your inboxes sometime later. The Authors that donated Orignal Characters to this production know about it, but there's something else that I'm working on at the moment. Give me a bit of time, and I'll deliver my final farewell message to you.
But of course, this is only the farewell for TFC.
Sequel-ness! But don't count on it coming tomorrow morning or anything like that. I've got a lot of work to do; tweaking on websites, finishing my chronology, re-writing my chronology, remembering to breathe, and this nasty little bugger called "EXAMS". If you'd like an update on when the sequel is published (prepare to count the months) please SEND ME AN E-MAIL INDICATING SO, NOT A REVIEW.
And my last request before I let you happy folks go: I'm reforming a certain Legomance that I wrote in a galaxy far, far away. I have some ideas on how to make it BETTER so that it's not so Mary-Sue-ish (all Legomances are Sue-ish; I swear, they HAVE to be). Is anyone willing to listen to my idea? Again, please send in e-mail, not a review.
THANKS EVERYONE! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY! LOVE YOU ALL!
Truly yours,
Naheka and Joe the Nazgul
May 3, 2003