Author's Note: Again thanks for the reviews. Thanks to Jessica my dear friend whom has helped continue this story. Of course, to Yumi, the real writers...
Enjoy ^^
Passion's Wounds Chapter 5
Rei closed the door behind her. She gasped between her breaths, unable to breathe properly. She choked on her dry throat. The tears could not be remedied but her constant drabs with her sleeve. Her eyes swelled. Her chest tighten. The pain didn't seem to go away. She could hear footsteps coming from behind the door. Someone was running after her, no doubt Shinji. She tried to move to her room after locking the door behind, but found that her legs had already grown weak from the pain of her heart. Rei fell to the floor, huddled into a ball, and wept in silence, hoping not to hear Shinji's voice.
There were heavy bangs on Rei's door.
"Rei! Please don't do this! Let me explain!" Shinji cried into the door. It was locked. He felt horrible. Even if Rei would let him explain, as he saw no reason why she would, he didn't know how to explain the scene of Fumiko and himself. Why did he even do it? he questioned himself, feeling painful stabs of guilt. Shinji tried to withhold his tears. If Rei had decided to open the door, he didn't want to cause her more pain with his look.
"Rei, please! I'm begging you, open the door..." Shinji felt weak. There wasn't much more he could ask for.
"Rei, you are my one and only, don't lock me out here like this, please..." Shinji pleaded. Silence. There was no answer. He collapsed to the floor next to the door. Shinji sat there, hugging his knees. He could hear the soft whimpers and crying on the opposite side. Little did he know that Rei was just a few inches away from him. The door, however, proved to be an impassable barrier.
The crying stopped after a while. Rei had no more tears left. The wound in her heart was beginning to fade. There was nothing to live for anymore. Rei was reminded of the way she felt before she had met Shinji, before she had decided to explore her heart. The cold and isolated Rei, who was distant and solitary. Rei couldn't feel her palms anymore, nor most of her body. Her pain faded. It seemed as though she forgot about Shinji. There were no more tears to shed, because there was no more heart to care. She lay there, eyes wide open. The two crimson bubbles seem to glow ever brightly in the room. The numbness in her heart petrified her being.
"Rei..." Shinji's voice came through from the other side.
"I didn't mean for what I did..." Rei got up systematically. She didn't think.
"Rei, I didn't mean to do what I did, I know it was wrong, I don't know how to explain what I did, but I know I don't deserve your forgiveness." Rei placed her fingers on the handle of the door.
"I want you to know though, I didn't lie to you when I told you I loved you. I waited for a whole week for your reply. I had no intention of kissing... of kissing Fumiko..." The door opened. Shinji leapt to his feet in awe. He was in bliss. He jumped and hugged Rei.
"I'm sorry... I'm begging for your forgiveness." Shinji looked at Rei with a passionate flare. But what he saw did not ease his tethered heart.
"Don't touch me, Ikari..." Rei said with a monotone voice. There was no emotion in her speech. Shinji had been used to Rei with at least a little emotion. But now, she reminded him of the first time they had met.
"Rei... I'm... sorry... I... I..."
There was silence. Shinji released Rei. The two just stared at each other for a few minutes. Shinji felt the stabs of guilt reviving even stronger than before. There was a sudden itch on his chest. Rei's expression bore emptiness. Shinji recounted his actions. Not only had he denied Rei once, and told her off again, but he promised his love to her later, and then break his promise, ultimately shattering the girl's heart forever. Rei had suffered a great deal of pain because of Shinji during her three years in England. But now she suffered even more because of him. Shinji couldn't even forgive himself for the first time. Rei now seemed to be scarred forever. Shinji couldn't take it anymore.
"Go away, Ikari..." Rei's voice was monotone. Shinji's grim expression agreed with Rei. He turned looked at Rei one more time, and then walked away... in pain. Rei turned around and looked at her empty room. She staggered to her room from the weakness in her legs and laid down on her new bed. She closed her eyes and the emptiness disappeared. Shinji's comforting and innocent smile appeared...
The smell of the cool night air filled his lungs. The misty darkness covered his face as he looked up to the starry night sky, the infinite black abyss of wonder. There was guilt in his heart, there was pain on his chest. Shinji looked up at the sky. Standing in the street, he looked up...What a screwed up life... he thought secretly as he laughed at himself. Why bother with living? After what happened with Rei, he thought that there would be no point in living. He felt stabs of guilt as he remembered Rei's face when she opened the door. Her eyes were so dim. There stood the mirror of her soul, yet in her case it didn't reflect. There was no one home. Shinji felt the bitter coldness of the first time he saw Rei.
She lay there in his arms, gasping in pain from the injuries. He looked down on the poor girl. How could my father do such a thing? he asked himself. He saw Rei's blood, the haunting crimson blood. The blood would haunt him for the rest of his life. To watch such an enchanting person bleed. To watch someone as beautiful as Rei suffer for him... Shinji decided he would not run away this time... for Rei's sake.
He chuckled at himself... I am a fool. He opened his eyes and saw the stars. There was no particular pattern tonight. The odd night was not finished. He ruined Rei's life, kissed Fumiko, and eventually recognized that he would not be able to forgive himself for his sins. All the things Rei had done for him. All the love she gave him. The unwavering heart she had for three years against his own denial. Finally confessing her truth. Showing Shinji a side of himself he never knew, and teaching Shinji that everyone deserves a second chance. All that from one girl, but in a second's time, that girl's heart was completely torn. From one second's time, a lifetime of recognizing herself lost... Rei had returned to the cold, isolated Rei she was before. Shinji would never forgive himself.
A bright light came from the his side. The sound of a horn rang in Shinji's ears. Too immersed in guilt, Shinji didn't hear. He looked up to the sky, the eternal and endless sky. The dark abyss reminded him of Rei's heart, now a hollow dark abyss as well. A tear streamed down his cheeks. He closed his eyes. The car came at Shinji and didn't stop. Blank...
Rei lay there with her eyes closed. Her chest no longer ached. Her head no longer spun. Her hearing didn't fade. There was no pain in her heart. Rei felt dead. There was numbness all over her body. She didn't feel anything in her heart; it felt empty. She didn't know how long she could keep reminding herself of Shinji. She felt as though in any moment she would forget that he existed. There was no happiness left in Rei's life. There was no purpose left to her existence. She became the doll that she was. This time, there was no duty to serve. Shinji didn't want her anymore. It should've been so clear to her. Why would he still want her after 3 years apart?. The other girl probably deserves Shinji more than her anyways. No matter what, what she did to Shinji must have been totally unforgivable. She never forgave herself. There was no subjugate to say that Shinji would do so.
Rei opened her eyes. She felt hungry. She had to go out and get something to eat. She hadn't eaten for almost the whole day now. There was no reason to eat though. She might as well sleep away her hunger. She closed her eyes and welcomed death...
Suddenly there was a frantic knock on her door. Rei's eyes jolted open. It must be Shinji again, she thought, expecting nothing from him. She ignored the knocking. The door of Rei's apartment and the bell tolled for minutes, seemingly endless. Then there was a voice. A girl's voice.
"Rei! Open up, please!" The voice of Asuka came through. Rei crawled out of bed, still in the clothes of the night before, the same sweater and the same skirt. She went to the door, still half asleep, and opened it to see an out of breath Asuka.
"What do you want, Sohryu?"
Asuka wore a grim expression. Her eyes became teary. She quickly grabbed Rei and
began to cry.
"What's wrong?" Rei asked curiously, in a monotone voice.
"I'm sorry, Rei..." Asuka said, hardly able to control herself. There was a silence. Rei was not used to seeing the Second Child like this.
"What are you talking about, Sohryu?"
"Shinji... Shinji's been hit by... by a car..." Asuka said, her eyes teary as she let go of Rei.
Rei stared blankly for a moment. A sudden rush of guilt then overcame her. Her emotions rushed back into her body. Her facial expression changed.
"What to you mean, hit by a car...?" Rei said, still in denial.
"He was ran over..." Asuka said with great pain. She looked at Rei. Poor girl...
Rei didn't know how to react. She didn't know what to think. There was first a sense of anger at the thought of Shinji. The sense was followed by sorrow, regret, denial, pain, and then finally guilt. Rei slammed the door shut. Asuka was left outside... reconsidering her actions... should she have told Rei? Yes, she deserved to know. She was going to find out one way or the other. Asuka felt bad. Shinji was like a little brother to her. But what could have caused this? She looked at the door. The driver said that the kid was just standing there in the streets.
Rei rushed over to her new kitchen. She got out a cup and poured herself a cup of water. She took one gulp and the water was gone. Feverishly, she refilled the water and again drank it all. Her vision began to blur. Her throat grew dry, even with the water. She knelt to the floor and dropped the cup, shattering it on the floor. On her knees, she grabbed her chest. The pain was unbearable. Her vision blurred and slowly turn black. Rei fainted...
Shinji awoke. He body was sore. He opened his eyes. The ceiling was white, the room silent. The light hum of the electrical lighting was audible. For a second he had forgotten what had happened. Then it all came back to him. Rei... the car... Fumiko... The stab of guilt came back to him and he began to cry. He wanted to bring his hand up to wipe his tears but something was blocking his hand. Shinji looked down... Rei...
Shinji choked with guilt. Rei was sleeping silently next to him, resting her head on his hand. There was something different about her though. There were bandages covering her eyes. What happened? Again a stab of guilt pierced Shinji's heart. Here she was, Rei, the one person he loved, who stayed by his side no matter what he did. How he had treated her, how he had acted was beyond stupid. He didn't deserve Rei. But here, even with Rei unable to see and injured, she still looked beautiful.
Shinji moved his hand, but Rei awakened...
"Shinji?" Rei said as she sat up... Shinji tried to smile but noticed that Rei couldn't see.
"Yes..." He voice cracked; it was dry.
"Shinji, you finally woke up..." Rei said in amazement and relief. She sniveled a bit. She felt around with her hand. Her soft fingers touched Shinji's cheeks. Rei moved closer. Her fingers went past Shinji's blinking eyes. She was assured now that he was awake. Out of joy, she threw herself on Shinji. Another stab of guilt came to Shinji as he felt the soft cloth of Rei's eye covering rub again his cheek. Rei's sweet embrace was magical, but also full of sorrow. There was weakness in her touch. Her voice was full of sorrow too.
"I'm sorry, Shinji..."
"Don't be..."
What happened? Shinji thought as he wondered on her eyes.
"I'm sorry Shinji, it's all my fault..."
Note: Hehe sorry about all the cliffhangers its just too tempting hehe ^^. The reason that the revisions were made possible were due to the helpfulness of my dear friend Jessica. Thank you for your ever so wonderful proofreading skills and your determination to make this fic flow.
Furthermore, i apologize, Rei is not an angel she is a neliphim... but that does not mean she doesn't pertain to have angel DNA. In other words my fic focuses on the fact that Rei has angel DNA in her and she didn't tell Shinji. DNA as the substane that makes you genetically, so if you have
it even if you are not an 'angel' by definition is more effective to call her that (exaggeration)... sorry if i have mislead you. But for those picky readers out there... "use your imagination or think about it?? try it..."
Enjoy ^^
Passion's Wounds Chapter 5
Rei closed the door behind her. She gasped between her breaths, unable to breathe properly. She choked on her dry throat. The tears could not be remedied but her constant drabs with her sleeve. Her eyes swelled. Her chest tighten. The pain didn't seem to go away. She could hear footsteps coming from behind the door. Someone was running after her, no doubt Shinji. She tried to move to her room after locking the door behind, but found that her legs had already grown weak from the pain of her heart. Rei fell to the floor, huddled into a ball, and wept in silence, hoping not to hear Shinji's voice.
There were heavy bangs on Rei's door.
"Rei! Please don't do this! Let me explain!" Shinji cried into the door. It was locked. He felt horrible. Even if Rei would let him explain, as he saw no reason why she would, he didn't know how to explain the scene of Fumiko and himself. Why did he even do it? he questioned himself, feeling painful stabs of guilt. Shinji tried to withhold his tears. If Rei had decided to open the door, he didn't want to cause her more pain with his look.
"Rei, please! I'm begging you, open the door..." Shinji felt weak. There wasn't much more he could ask for.
"Rei, you are my one and only, don't lock me out here like this, please..." Shinji pleaded. Silence. There was no answer. He collapsed to the floor next to the door. Shinji sat there, hugging his knees. He could hear the soft whimpers and crying on the opposite side. Little did he know that Rei was just a few inches away from him. The door, however, proved to be an impassable barrier.
The crying stopped after a while. Rei had no more tears left. The wound in her heart was beginning to fade. There was nothing to live for anymore. Rei was reminded of the way she felt before she had met Shinji, before she had decided to explore her heart. The cold and isolated Rei, who was distant and solitary. Rei couldn't feel her palms anymore, nor most of her body. Her pain faded. It seemed as though she forgot about Shinji. There were no more tears to shed, because there was no more heart to care. She lay there, eyes wide open. The two crimson bubbles seem to glow ever brightly in the room. The numbness in her heart petrified her being.
"Rei..." Shinji's voice came through from the other side.
"I didn't mean for what I did..." Rei got up systematically. She didn't think.
"Rei, I didn't mean to do what I did, I know it was wrong, I don't know how to explain what I did, but I know I don't deserve your forgiveness." Rei placed her fingers on the handle of the door.
"I want you to know though, I didn't lie to you when I told you I loved you. I waited for a whole week for your reply. I had no intention of kissing... of kissing Fumiko..." The door opened. Shinji leapt to his feet in awe. He was in bliss. He jumped and hugged Rei.
"I'm sorry... I'm begging for your forgiveness." Shinji looked at Rei with a passionate flare. But what he saw did not ease his tethered heart.
"Don't touch me, Ikari..." Rei said with a monotone voice. There was no emotion in her speech. Shinji had been used to Rei with at least a little emotion. But now, she reminded him of the first time they had met.
"Rei... I'm... sorry... I... I..."
There was silence. Shinji released Rei. The two just stared at each other for a few minutes. Shinji felt the stabs of guilt reviving even stronger than before. There was a sudden itch on his chest. Rei's expression bore emptiness. Shinji recounted his actions. Not only had he denied Rei once, and told her off again, but he promised his love to her later, and then break his promise, ultimately shattering the girl's heart forever. Rei had suffered a great deal of pain because of Shinji during her three years in England. But now she suffered even more because of him. Shinji couldn't even forgive himself for the first time. Rei now seemed to be scarred forever. Shinji couldn't take it anymore.
"Go away, Ikari..." Rei's voice was monotone. Shinji's grim expression agreed with Rei. He turned looked at Rei one more time, and then walked away... in pain. Rei turned around and looked at her empty room. She staggered to her room from the weakness in her legs and laid down on her new bed. She closed her eyes and the emptiness disappeared. Shinji's comforting and innocent smile appeared...
The smell of the cool night air filled his lungs. The misty darkness covered his face as he looked up to the starry night sky, the infinite black abyss of wonder. There was guilt in his heart, there was pain on his chest. Shinji looked up at the sky. Standing in the street, he looked up...What a screwed up life... he thought secretly as he laughed at himself. Why bother with living? After what happened with Rei, he thought that there would be no point in living. He felt stabs of guilt as he remembered Rei's face when she opened the door. Her eyes were so dim. There stood the mirror of her soul, yet in her case it didn't reflect. There was no one home. Shinji felt the bitter coldness of the first time he saw Rei.
She lay there in his arms, gasping in pain from the injuries. He looked down on the poor girl. How could my father do such a thing? he asked himself. He saw Rei's blood, the haunting crimson blood. The blood would haunt him for the rest of his life. To watch such an enchanting person bleed. To watch someone as beautiful as Rei suffer for him... Shinji decided he would not run away this time... for Rei's sake.
He chuckled at himself... I am a fool. He opened his eyes and saw the stars. There was no particular pattern tonight. The odd night was not finished. He ruined Rei's life, kissed Fumiko, and eventually recognized that he would not be able to forgive himself for his sins. All the things Rei had done for him. All the love she gave him. The unwavering heart she had for three years against his own denial. Finally confessing her truth. Showing Shinji a side of himself he never knew, and teaching Shinji that everyone deserves a second chance. All that from one girl, but in a second's time, that girl's heart was completely torn. From one second's time, a lifetime of recognizing herself lost... Rei had returned to the cold, isolated Rei she was before. Shinji would never forgive himself.
A bright light came from the his side. The sound of a horn rang in Shinji's ears. Too immersed in guilt, Shinji didn't hear. He looked up to the sky, the eternal and endless sky. The dark abyss reminded him of Rei's heart, now a hollow dark abyss as well. A tear streamed down his cheeks. He closed his eyes. The car came at Shinji and didn't stop. Blank...
Rei lay there with her eyes closed. Her chest no longer ached. Her head no longer spun. Her hearing didn't fade. There was no pain in her heart. Rei felt dead. There was numbness all over her body. She didn't feel anything in her heart; it felt empty. She didn't know how long she could keep reminding herself of Shinji. She felt as though in any moment she would forget that he existed. There was no happiness left in Rei's life. There was no purpose left to her existence. She became the doll that she was. This time, there was no duty to serve. Shinji didn't want her anymore. It should've been so clear to her. Why would he still want her after 3 years apart?. The other girl probably deserves Shinji more than her anyways. No matter what, what she did to Shinji must have been totally unforgivable. She never forgave herself. There was no subjugate to say that Shinji would do so.
Rei opened her eyes. She felt hungry. She had to go out and get something to eat. She hadn't eaten for almost the whole day now. There was no reason to eat though. She might as well sleep away her hunger. She closed her eyes and welcomed death...
Suddenly there was a frantic knock on her door. Rei's eyes jolted open. It must be Shinji again, she thought, expecting nothing from him. She ignored the knocking. The door of Rei's apartment and the bell tolled for minutes, seemingly endless. Then there was a voice. A girl's voice.
"Rei! Open up, please!" The voice of Asuka came through. Rei crawled out of bed, still in the clothes of the night before, the same sweater and the same skirt. She went to the door, still half asleep, and opened it to see an out of breath Asuka.
"What do you want, Sohryu?"
Asuka wore a grim expression. Her eyes became teary. She quickly grabbed Rei and
began to cry.
"What's wrong?" Rei asked curiously, in a monotone voice.
"I'm sorry, Rei..." Asuka said, hardly able to control herself. There was a silence. Rei was not used to seeing the Second Child like this.
"What are you talking about, Sohryu?"
"Shinji... Shinji's been hit by... by a car..." Asuka said, her eyes teary as she let go of Rei.
Rei stared blankly for a moment. A sudden rush of guilt then overcame her. Her emotions rushed back into her body. Her facial expression changed.
"What to you mean, hit by a car...?" Rei said, still in denial.
"He was ran over..." Asuka said with great pain. She looked at Rei. Poor girl...
Rei didn't know how to react. She didn't know what to think. There was first a sense of anger at the thought of Shinji. The sense was followed by sorrow, regret, denial, pain, and then finally guilt. Rei slammed the door shut. Asuka was left outside... reconsidering her actions... should she have told Rei? Yes, she deserved to know. She was going to find out one way or the other. Asuka felt bad. Shinji was like a little brother to her. But what could have caused this? She looked at the door. The driver said that the kid was just standing there in the streets.
Rei rushed over to her new kitchen. She got out a cup and poured herself a cup of water. She took one gulp and the water was gone. Feverishly, she refilled the water and again drank it all. Her vision began to blur. Her throat grew dry, even with the water. She knelt to the floor and dropped the cup, shattering it on the floor. On her knees, she grabbed her chest. The pain was unbearable. Her vision blurred and slowly turn black. Rei fainted...
Shinji awoke. He body was sore. He opened his eyes. The ceiling was white, the room silent. The light hum of the electrical lighting was audible. For a second he had forgotten what had happened. Then it all came back to him. Rei... the car... Fumiko... The stab of guilt came back to him and he began to cry. He wanted to bring his hand up to wipe his tears but something was blocking his hand. Shinji looked down... Rei...
Shinji choked with guilt. Rei was sleeping silently next to him, resting her head on his hand. There was something different about her though. There were bandages covering her eyes. What happened? Again a stab of guilt pierced Shinji's heart. Here she was, Rei, the one person he loved, who stayed by his side no matter what he did. How he had treated her, how he had acted was beyond stupid. He didn't deserve Rei. But here, even with Rei unable to see and injured, she still looked beautiful.
Shinji moved his hand, but Rei awakened...
"Shinji?" Rei said as she sat up... Shinji tried to smile but noticed that Rei couldn't see.
"Yes..." He voice cracked; it was dry.
"Shinji, you finally woke up..." Rei said in amazement and relief. She sniveled a bit. She felt around with her hand. Her soft fingers touched Shinji's cheeks. Rei moved closer. Her fingers went past Shinji's blinking eyes. She was assured now that he was awake. Out of joy, she threw herself on Shinji. Another stab of guilt came to Shinji as he felt the soft cloth of Rei's eye covering rub again his cheek. Rei's sweet embrace was magical, but also full of sorrow. There was weakness in her touch. Her voice was full of sorrow too.
"I'm sorry, Shinji..."
"Don't be..."
What happened? Shinji thought as he wondered on her eyes.
"I'm sorry Shinji, it's all my fault..."
Note: Hehe sorry about all the cliffhangers its just too tempting hehe ^^. The reason that the revisions were made possible were due to the helpfulness of my dear friend Jessica. Thank you for your ever so wonderful proofreading skills and your determination to make this fic flow.
Furthermore, i apologize, Rei is not an angel she is a neliphim... but that does not mean she doesn't pertain to have angel DNA. In other words my fic focuses on the fact that Rei has angel DNA in her and she didn't tell Shinji. DNA as the substane that makes you genetically, so if you have
it even if you are not an 'angel' by definition is more effective to call her that (exaggeration)... sorry if i have mislead you. But for those picky readers out there... "use your imagination or think about it?? try it..."