Passion's Wounds Chapter 8
Author's Note: This chapter is basically Fumiko. ^-^ hehe yes of course there is a little Rei and Shinji, but yeah this is 99.6 %( teeheehee/ maybe) Fumiko. ^-^ enjoy.
The cool night air radiated outside. The dark room filled with soft sounds of sobbing. The gentle jolts of her quivering lips showed only the extent of her love. Fumiko grasps her throbbing chest. She missed him dearly...
"Onii-san?"
"Yes?"
"Where are you going?" The younger Fumiko asked.
"I need to go."
"Onii-san..." He never answered her question.
"I'm sorry Fumiko. I can't say."
"Be careful..." There was a small tear.
"Don't cry myoto..."
"You're always going away like this. You don't come home. You work all the time. I don't want to complain, I'm your little sister... I don't want to be a bother, but... I just wish you would relax once in while... spend some time with me..." Fumiko said between snivels. "You're the most important thing to me onii-san. After mom and dad passed away, you've taken care of me... I want to see you happy." Fumiko's every word took stabs of guilt to her brothers heart. He smiled gently.
"I won't be long this time..."Her brother went to the door.
"You be a good girl at home okay."
Fumiko smiled back a little. "I'm always a good girl..." There was sadness in her voice. Her brother couldn't stand her so depressed. He went over and hugged her.
"One of these days I'm going to quit NERV, okay?"
Fumiko smiled returning the hug.
"You don't have to, I know how important your work is... that's why I don't want you to go..."
Her brother looked confused. But then he thought that Fumiko must have mixed feelings about what she just said too. He smiled and closed the door behind him. Fumiko waved at the closed door... her brother never returned.
Fumiko grasped her pillow tightly. She brought her knees closer to her chin. Her pillow was the object between the two. The dim light of her apartment room lit a very cozy surrounding. The quiet abyss of the night was apparent outside of her window. Fumiko grabbed her pillow tightly on her bed. She was in her pajamas.
Ever since her brother died almost four years ago, Fumiko never got a good nights' sleep. Nightmares and tormented dreams of her brother always kept her up. She could've tried harder... She thought... She could've tried harder to convince him to leave NERV earlier. She didn't cry that day she got the news of her brothers death. She went into shock... pretending for days that it was only a bad dream. Then when the realization finally came... She tried to kill herself. Her friends persuaded her not to. Listening to them only made it worse. She faced every coming day with the same horror of being in this world without her beloved brother.
The oceans of tears she shed in his honor– countless.
Then came the day she first saw Shinji Ikari. It was memories that persuaded her to join NERV. She wanted to live the life of her brother, for better or for worse she didn't care because of the depression. She applied for a minor position of technician in trainee under Maya. She really never saw the young Ikari until the time he appeared after a sync test with the second child. Her heart sang that day. Ikari reminded her so much of her brother. Not just the looks either, but his kindness and innocence.
Everyday for the next two years, Fumiko couldn't wait to work. For the chance of seeing Shinji again. When she heard that he finally applied for a permanent at NERV under Commander Katsuragi's care, she was delighted. She told her friends that she was attracted to the boy. She said she would ask him when she summoned the courage. But then she learned of Ayanami. She was both disappointed and happy for Shinji. Secretly she vowed that day to keep Shinji safe from all harm, because he was the only thing left in this world that was the sweet memory of her brother. Shinji, on the other hand, never learned of the technician in training at NERV.
Fumiko's warm tears dripped down her soft cheeks. She had awoken earlier with a nightmare that someone had killed Shinji and she didn't try to prevent it. She felt sick that in all reality that probably would have happened. She wanted to protect but with Rei around she knew that she had made the mistake to take Shinji's heart even if it were to comfort her own lonely soul. She felt guilty ever since she saw Rei's face. She knew this would cause Shinji pain because she could sense Shinji enormous love for this girl. Rei too deserved his love probably more than Fumiko. As she same across Rei's profile more than once while researching, Fumiko knew the girl's history.
When she saw the horror that had stricken across Shinji's face when he saw Rei's heart crumble, she felt stabs of pain plug her heart. There was a brief period where her heart skipped a beat. There was then the problem with breathing. A choking sensation, then blurred vision. She had failed again. The overwhelming rush of hopelessness coursed through her blood. Her heart screamed in angst. She didn't want to live. It was bad enough that she broke a person's heart, she broke two. Beyond that she broke Shinji's heart, which to her, is the most precious one left in this world.
The soft tears of agony danced their way down to the silky sheets of the bed. Then there was a soft knock on the door. Fumiko got up and answered and walked over to the door. Her movement entrancing, but with each step was the regret that she lived and her brother didn't.
"Who is it?" Fumiko asked choking down the tears.
"Me." A familiar voice came through. Fumiko opened the door and looked in trepidation.
"Good evening," A young well dress man said.
"What are you doing here, Janus?"
"What do you think?"
There was a deep silence.
"You haven't forgotten you mission have you?"
"No." The talking was at a whisper.
"Okay, just checking..."
"Janus, I don't think I can complete it though."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't think I am capable of completing the mission." The face on the young man grew stern and serious.
"You will complete your mission is that understood?"
"Yes..." Fumiko said reluctantly.
"Good, and don't get attached to Ikari, it makes your life harder that way."
"It was my only contact to the target." Fumiko lied.
"Well, just make sure the First Child doesn't find you out before you complete your objectives, that goes double for Ms. Langley."
"I understand, now please leave your visit here was pointless."
"Not really." Janus smiled. "Here." He handed her a bottle of pills.
"What are these?"
"Anti-depressants. Judging by your first appearance you need these." With that Janus left. Fumiko closed that door. She was about to throw the pills in the trash when there was an another knock on the door. She went and answered it thinking it was Janus again. It wasn't, but that wasn't what was the most surprising part. It was Shinji.
"What are you doing here so late at night?" She asked bewildered.
"Fumiko... what happened the other night..."
"I understand, I'm sorry it..."
"It was my fault." Shinji said.
"You shouldn't blame yourself... how is Rei?"
"She's fine... I had to make up, but she's sleeping now."
"How did you find my house?" Fumiko finally asked not realizing the situation before.
"I ran a search for you before."
"Oh..." There was a deathly pause.
"You shouldn't lie Fumiko... I should've told me you've been with NERV for more than three years."
"I'm sorry." She said relieved that Shinji didn't find out about her secret identity.
"Its okay... but that kiss can't happen again." Fumiko blushed.
"Just tell me one thing Shinji."
"What?"
"Can we still be friends?"
"Sure."
Fumiko smiled.
"You have no idea how much that means to me."
Shinji was confused.
"You are too much like him..." Fumiko said in a grim nostalgia.
"Is something wrong?" Shinji eyed the pills, her expression, and her tone of voice.
"No..."
"Fumiko. I not a psychological expert, I can see something is wrong. Unless you don't want to tell me, I want to help."
"Thank you, but I really must keep this to myself."
"Tell at least if it has to do with me?"
"Yes... no directly, but yes..." Fumiko said looking down.
Shinji look with a frown.
"Please don't be sad."
"I can't Shinji, the more I look at you, the more you remind me of him." Fumiko began to cry. It was just like Rei. Shinji felt horrible. He felt depressed now to have cause two girls so much pain, even though he didn't know what causing Fumiko's. Her pretty face was now drowned in sorrow.
"Fumiko..."
"Go..." She said sliding the door shut. "Go..."
Fumiko closed the door. Shinji respected her wishes and walked slowly away. Fumiko made sure to listen for the footsteps of Shinji leaving before collapsing in tears.
AN: okay maybe i should try a happy happy chapter next it is getting really depressin ^^. Thanks Jess for the corrections and i still say thin is better than slender. ^^
Author's Note: This chapter is basically Fumiko. ^-^ hehe yes of course there is a little Rei and Shinji, but yeah this is 99.6 %( teeheehee/ maybe) Fumiko. ^-^ enjoy.
The cool night air radiated outside. The dark room filled with soft sounds of sobbing. The gentle jolts of her quivering lips showed only the extent of her love. Fumiko grasps her throbbing chest. She missed him dearly...
"Onii-san?"
"Yes?"
"Where are you going?" The younger Fumiko asked.
"I need to go."
"Onii-san..." He never answered her question.
"I'm sorry Fumiko. I can't say."
"Be careful..." There was a small tear.
"Don't cry myoto..."
"You're always going away like this. You don't come home. You work all the time. I don't want to complain, I'm your little sister... I don't want to be a bother, but... I just wish you would relax once in while... spend some time with me..." Fumiko said between snivels. "You're the most important thing to me onii-san. After mom and dad passed away, you've taken care of me... I want to see you happy." Fumiko's every word took stabs of guilt to her brothers heart. He smiled gently.
"I won't be long this time..."Her brother went to the door.
"You be a good girl at home okay."
Fumiko smiled back a little. "I'm always a good girl..." There was sadness in her voice. Her brother couldn't stand her so depressed. He went over and hugged her.
"One of these days I'm going to quit NERV, okay?"
Fumiko smiled returning the hug.
"You don't have to, I know how important your work is... that's why I don't want you to go..."
Her brother looked confused. But then he thought that Fumiko must have mixed feelings about what she just said too. He smiled and closed the door behind him. Fumiko waved at the closed door... her brother never returned.
Fumiko grasped her pillow tightly. She brought her knees closer to her chin. Her pillow was the object between the two. The dim light of her apartment room lit a very cozy surrounding. The quiet abyss of the night was apparent outside of her window. Fumiko grabbed her pillow tightly on her bed. She was in her pajamas.
Ever since her brother died almost four years ago, Fumiko never got a good nights' sleep. Nightmares and tormented dreams of her brother always kept her up. She could've tried harder... She thought... She could've tried harder to convince him to leave NERV earlier. She didn't cry that day she got the news of her brothers death. She went into shock... pretending for days that it was only a bad dream. Then when the realization finally came... She tried to kill herself. Her friends persuaded her not to. Listening to them only made it worse. She faced every coming day with the same horror of being in this world without her beloved brother.
The oceans of tears she shed in his honor– countless.
Then came the day she first saw Shinji Ikari. It was memories that persuaded her to join NERV. She wanted to live the life of her brother, for better or for worse she didn't care because of the depression. She applied for a minor position of technician in trainee under Maya. She really never saw the young Ikari until the time he appeared after a sync test with the second child. Her heart sang that day. Ikari reminded her so much of her brother. Not just the looks either, but his kindness and innocence.
Everyday for the next two years, Fumiko couldn't wait to work. For the chance of seeing Shinji again. When she heard that he finally applied for a permanent at NERV under Commander Katsuragi's care, she was delighted. She told her friends that she was attracted to the boy. She said she would ask him when she summoned the courage. But then she learned of Ayanami. She was both disappointed and happy for Shinji. Secretly she vowed that day to keep Shinji safe from all harm, because he was the only thing left in this world that was the sweet memory of her brother. Shinji, on the other hand, never learned of the technician in training at NERV.
Fumiko's warm tears dripped down her soft cheeks. She had awoken earlier with a nightmare that someone had killed Shinji and she didn't try to prevent it. She felt sick that in all reality that probably would have happened. She wanted to protect but with Rei around she knew that she had made the mistake to take Shinji's heart even if it were to comfort her own lonely soul. She felt guilty ever since she saw Rei's face. She knew this would cause Shinji pain because she could sense Shinji enormous love for this girl. Rei too deserved his love probably more than Fumiko. As she same across Rei's profile more than once while researching, Fumiko knew the girl's history.
When she saw the horror that had stricken across Shinji's face when he saw Rei's heart crumble, she felt stabs of pain plug her heart. There was a brief period where her heart skipped a beat. There was then the problem with breathing. A choking sensation, then blurred vision. She had failed again. The overwhelming rush of hopelessness coursed through her blood. Her heart screamed in angst. She didn't want to live. It was bad enough that she broke a person's heart, she broke two. Beyond that she broke Shinji's heart, which to her, is the most precious one left in this world.
The soft tears of agony danced their way down to the silky sheets of the bed. Then there was a soft knock on the door. Fumiko got up and answered and walked over to the door. Her movement entrancing, but with each step was the regret that she lived and her brother didn't.
"Who is it?" Fumiko asked choking down the tears.
"Me." A familiar voice came through. Fumiko opened the door and looked in trepidation.
"Good evening," A young well dress man said.
"What are you doing here, Janus?"
"What do you think?"
There was a deep silence.
"You haven't forgotten you mission have you?"
"No." The talking was at a whisper.
"Okay, just checking..."
"Janus, I don't think I can complete it though."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't think I am capable of completing the mission." The face on the young man grew stern and serious.
"You will complete your mission is that understood?"
"Yes..." Fumiko said reluctantly.
"Good, and don't get attached to Ikari, it makes your life harder that way."
"It was my only contact to the target." Fumiko lied.
"Well, just make sure the First Child doesn't find you out before you complete your objectives, that goes double for Ms. Langley."
"I understand, now please leave your visit here was pointless."
"Not really." Janus smiled. "Here." He handed her a bottle of pills.
"What are these?"
"Anti-depressants. Judging by your first appearance you need these." With that Janus left. Fumiko closed that door. She was about to throw the pills in the trash when there was an another knock on the door. She went and answered it thinking it was Janus again. It wasn't, but that wasn't what was the most surprising part. It was Shinji.
"What are you doing here so late at night?" She asked bewildered.
"Fumiko... what happened the other night..."
"I understand, I'm sorry it..."
"It was my fault." Shinji said.
"You shouldn't blame yourself... how is Rei?"
"She's fine... I had to make up, but she's sleeping now."
"How did you find my house?" Fumiko finally asked not realizing the situation before.
"I ran a search for you before."
"Oh..." There was a deathly pause.
"You shouldn't lie Fumiko... I should've told me you've been with NERV for more than three years."
"I'm sorry." She said relieved that Shinji didn't find out about her secret identity.
"Its okay... but that kiss can't happen again." Fumiko blushed.
"Just tell me one thing Shinji."
"What?"
"Can we still be friends?"
"Sure."
Fumiko smiled.
"You have no idea how much that means to me."
Shinji was confused.
"You are too much like him..." Fumiko said in a grim nostalgia.
"Is something wrong?" Shinji eyed the pills, her expression, and her tone of voice.
"No..."
"Fumiko. I not a psychological expert, I can see something is wrong. Unless you don't want to tell me, I want to help."
"Thank you, but I really must keep this to myself."
"Tell at least if it has to do with me?"
"Yes... no directly, but yes..." Fumiko said looking down.
Shinji look with a frown.
"Please don't be sad."
"I can't Shinji, the more I look at you, the more you remind me of him." Fumiko began to cry. It was just like Rei. Shinji felt horrible. He felt depressed now to have cause two girls so much pain, even though he didn't know what causing Fumiko's. Her pretty face was now drowned in sorrow.
"Fumiko..."
"Go..." She said sliding the door shut. "Go..."
Fumiko closed the door. Shinji respected her wishes and walked slowly away. Fumiko made sure to listen for the footsteps of Shinji leaving before collapsing in tears.
AN: okay maybe i should try a happy happy chapter next it is getting really depressin ^^. Thanks Jess for the corrections and i still say thin is better than slender. ^^