Looked like Morgan was going to be spending Christmas alone, but then
again, it was like she'd done every year since she was eighteen. Or maybe
she'd spend it in the hospital, for Angela.
Of course then again, Cory and Topanga had offered she spend
Christmas with them. I guess that wouldn't be so bad, she thought. They're
nice people. I'm not exactly one of their favorites, but they're nice
people.
So she accepted the invitation since there was nothing else to do and
admitting that another Christmas on her own would be the most embarrassing
thing ever. So now she had to get presents for people.
"Top five bad things about Christmas," Morgan said to herself as she
sat at the table with a pencil and paper titled 'Christmas Presents'. "One.
You either spend your money, or spend Christmas alone." And she had hardly
enough money to spend, so how could she buy presents for Cory, Topanga,
Angela, Shawn, and Cassidy?
"Two," she said, "You're forced to make some kind of dish instead of
ordering Chinese takeout and eating day old pang Tai sushi noodles." Well,
that was true.
"Three," she continued, "the people you're forced to interact with
may not exactly like you but are forced to pretend like they enjoyed your
company then scream with joy when you leave." That was true also.
"Four," she said trying to think of sucky things for this Christmas.
"If you're a fashion designer for a major label yet they're only paying you
minimum wage, you have absolutely no money for the wonderful presents these
people who've taken you in deserve." That certainly related to Morgan.
"And lastly but most certainly not least," she said solemnly. "The
thing you know someone wants for Christmas is something you can't get them,
not because it's too expensive but because money can't buy it." She knew
Shawn wanted Angela to live for Christmas - but what if she didn't? She
felt it was her responsibility to keep Angela alive because after all, she
was the one who had the RN best friend.
She made a crappy list but it was better than just nothing. So she
stuck the list in her purse and got into her turquoise convertible to go
Christmas shopping.
Everyone knows it's impractical to have a car in the city. Everyone knows that those few people who do have cars are stared at when they're driving places. And if you're being stared at, whether your driving or not, you still get in a bad mood. Well, everyone included Morgan but she loved her turquoise convertible so much there was no way she was selling it. Besides, who would buy it here in the city? They stare at you and you feel crappy. No doubt about it. Well today was no exception. Traffic was awful and some stupid taxi in front of her had just broken down. Since everyone was staring at her wondering why she had a car, she felt so miserable. So instead of taking the left turn for shopping, she took the right turn for the hospital. She must have sat next to Angela's bed for more than two hours. However long isn't positive. I most certainly hope that the sources I have are reliable because the unreliable ones say she sat there all day. But it's stupid to waste a day, even for a sick person. When she finally did leave, however, Cassidy came in. "Oh, good, you're here. Listen, Morgan. They tried to get it out. They did a surprisingly good job without chemo. They're going to use chemo and see if they can get the small amount left out. It's pretty cool. She might live. You might have her home for Christmas." And as she left, "She might live" pounded in her head. She drove faster this time. Wait until she told Shawn.
"Shawn, Cassidy's a certified RN, don't you think she knows this stuff?" Morgan asked. "Morgan her nametag says Staff she doesn't even know her own name!" "Oh, please," Cory said. "Eric made that mistake. Shawn's too smart to do that." Topanga rolled her eyes. "Morgan just because Miss Staff says she might live doesn't mean she will." "Just because they said they wouldn't get it all out, doesn't mean they won't," Morgan told him. "What?" Shawn asked. "They got most of it out without chemo. They're trying chemo and they're seeing if they can do it," Morgan explained. "There's only a small amount left but it's not exactly going to be the easiest thing in the world. So.the chances she'll live are higher." This made Shawn unbelievably happy. Shawn smiled which made Morgan smile, and when Morgan smiles, no one can frown anymore. So when Morgan looked at Cory and Topanga, they immediately smiled. Funny how just one stupid smile can make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
So the news piled in little by little. They were starting it tomorrow. She wouldn't be home in time for Christmas but possibly in January sometime. The chances that patient Angela Moore would live were getting higher with each minute. "I don't know," Shawn said. "I'm scared. I mean what if it comes back? I don't want to lose her." "You won't lose her," Morgan said. All four of them were at a booth in the Digital Hang Out. "You'll just.if it comes back and she doesn't make it then.you'll always remember her." "I don't want memories, Morgan." Shawn reminded her. "We don't always get what we want, do we?" Morgan retorted. Whenever people talked about how they didn't want death, it always made Morgan mad. No one wants death. Nobody. But we get it, just like we get to vote and we get to drive and we get what we want at times. And if someone they knew was dying, at least they weren't dead yet, like six of the most important people in Morgan's life. "What are you saying, you want Angela dead?" Shawn asked. "No, Shawn, I'm saying, I lost six of the most important people. Do you really think I can relate to you? All of my six important people died. No one could have saved them. Don't ask me how I survived, but I survived. And you know, here you are talking about what you don't want. Nobody wants death; no one wants people they love to die. But they get it, and even if they don't deserve it, they do. What, do you think the people who set the bomb of at Sixteenth Street Baptist Church got what they deserved? No, they were convicted forty years later or whatever! It's not fair, Shawn, it isn't. Everyone knows it's not fair, and it's not but what's fair is the fact that you have a chance that Angela will live. Me, I didn't. My parents and my little sister died in a fire. I don't know how I got out but I did. My friends died before that in a car crash. I had a dislocated shoulder and a broken jaw and that was it. So do you think it was fair that six of the most important people in my life died? No, it's not. But I got over it. And if Angela lives, you won't ever have to experience that. You won't know. I hope you don't experience it but - whatever. You don't get it." What Shawn said next surprised Morgan. "You're right," he said softly. "I don't know. And I hope I never will. But I hope everything turns out all right and that whatever it is that's bothering you comes through for you. I know how it must feel to lose." "How?" Morgan asked. "How do you know? You don't know!" Shawn sighed. "Yeah, I do," he said. "My dad died from a heart attack and I didn't even get to tell him that I loved him. What kills me is that I was always talking bad about him. It might've been true, but." Shawn's voice trailed off. "I'm so sorry," she said sympathetically. "I really am." That next moment Cassidy walked in the door with a solemn look on her face - one that implied something bad was about to happen.
Everyone knows it's impractical to have a car in the city. Everyone knows that those few people who do have cars are stared at when they're driving places. And if you're being stared at, whether your driving or not, you still get in a bad mood. Well, everyone included Morgan but she loved her turquoise convertible so much there was no way she was selling it. Besides, who would buy it here in the city? They stare at you and you feel crappy. No doubt about it. Well today was no exception. Traffic was awful and some stupid taxi in front of her had just broken down. Since everyone was staring at her wondering why she had a car, she felt so miserable. So instead of taking the left turn for shopping, she took the right turn for the hospital. She must have sat next to Angela's bed for more than two hours. However long isn't positive. I most certainly hope that the sources I have are reliable because the unreliable ones say she sat there all day. But it's stupid to waste a day, even for a sick person. When she finally did leave, however, Cassidy came in. "Oh, good, you're here. Listen, Morgan. They tried to get it out. They did a surprisingly good job without chemo. They're going to use chemo and see if they can get the small amount left out. It's pretty cool. She might live. You might have her home for Christmas." And as she left, "She might live" pounded in her head. She drove faster this time. Wait until she told Shawn.
"Shawn, Cassidy's a certified RN, don't you think she knows this stuff?" Morgan asked. "Morgan her nametag says Staff she doesn't even know her own name!" "Oh, please," Cory said. "Eric made that mistake. Shawn's too smart to do that." Topanga rolled her eyes. "Morgan just because Miss Staff says she might live doesn't mean she will." "Just because they said they wouldn't get it all out, doesn't mean they won't," Morgan told him. "What?" Shawn asked. "They got most of it out without chemo. They're trying chemo and they're seeing if they can do it," Morgan explained. "There's only a small amount left but it's not exactly going to be the easiest thing in the world. So.the chances she'll live are higher." This made Shawn unbelievably happy. Shawn smiled which made Morgan smile, and when Morgan smiles, no one can frown anymore. So when Morgan looked at Cory and Topanga, they immediately smiled. Funny how just one stupid smile can make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
So the news piled in little by little. They were starting it tomorrow. She wouldn't be home in time for Christmas but possibly in January sometime. The chances that patient Angela Moore would live were getting higher with each minute. "I don't know," Shawn said. "I'm scared. I mean what if it comes back? I don't want to lose her." "You won't lose her," Morgan said. All four of them were at a booth in the Digital Hang Out. "You'll just.if it comes back and she doesn't make it then.you'll always remember her." "I don't want memories, Morgan." Shawn reminded her. "We don't always get what we want, do we?" Morgan retorted. Whenever people talked about how they didn't want death, it always made Morgan mad. No one wants death. Nobody. But we get it, just like we get to vote and we get to drive and we get what we want at times. And if someone they knew was dying, at least they weren't dead yet, like six of the most important people in Morgan's life. "What are you saying, you want Angela dead?" Shawn asked. "No, Shawn, I'm saying, I lost six of the most important people. Do you really think I can relate to you? All of my six important people died. No one could have saved them. Don't ask me how I survived, but I survived. And you know, here you are talking about what you don't want. Nobody wants death; no one wants people they love to die. But they get it, and even if they don't deserve it, they do. What, do you think the people who set the bomb of at Sixteenth Street Baptist Church got what they deserved? No, they were convicted forty years later or whatever! It's not fair, Shawn, it isn't. Everyone knows it's not fair, and it's not but what's fair is the fact that you have a chance that Angela will live. Me, I didn't. My parents and my little sister died in a fire. I don't know how I got out but I did. My friends died before that in a car crash. I had a dislocated shoulder and a broken jaw and that was it. So do you think it was fair that six of the most important people in my life died? No, it's not. But I got over it. And if Angela lives, you won't ever have to experience that. You won't know. I hope you don't experience it but - whatever. You don't get it." What Shawn said next surprised Morgan. "You're right," he said softly. "I don't know. And I hope I never will. But I hope everything turns out all right and that whatever it is that's bothering you comes through for you. I know how it must feel to lose." "How?" Morgan asked. "How do you know? You don't know!" Shawn sighed. "Yeah, I do," he said. "My dad died from a heart attack and I didn't even get to tell him that I loved him. What kills me is that I was always talking bad about him. It might've been true, but." Shawn's voice trailed off. "I'm so sorry," she said sympathetically. "I really am." That next moment Cassidy walked in the door with a solemn look on her face - one that implied something bad was about to happen.