MINNA!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, before shooting daggers eyes and all, please
forgive this lousy writer who churns up story only to hang them for a
VERRRYYY long time. GOMEN NASAI! However, I was just browsing through
FF.net one day when I felt a little guilty to my readers for the lack of
chapters. So here I am again, for this very short period of time again,
back with chap. 3 of 'Little Heaven'. Thank you to the readers who had
decided to spare a moment of their time to drop a lil review for my fics
(even when I'm not in productive mode ^^)!!!
Disclaimers : If I owned Saiyuki, my name wouldn't be Hanei Tamashii ^o^
Little Heaven
Chapter Three
By Hanei Tamashii
"NO!!!!!!"
I kicked him, punched him, pushed him but to no avail. The heavy body above me was just too much for my weakened body. He roughly shoved me on to the bed, not caring that I had hit my head on the wooden headrest, and tore my now stained silk shirt aside. His body trapped mine and he pressed my flailing hands down. I could only try to struggle free but with my hands restrained and legs anchored down by his, I couldn't do much.
"Stay still now," he said with a poisoned grin and he crushed his mouth over mine. I pressed my lips together, trying to put a stop to his violation but I could still feel the wet tongue laving over my own. I forcefully turned my head away from his repugnant face, but he followed and tried fixing his mouth over mine again. My heart was racing in my chest, drumming in a frantic beat, twisting so painfully I almost couldn't breathe. The burning sensation of my lungs grew with every moment. I couldn't hold it any longer and the moment my lips parted, his sour tongue filled my mouth, choking me. In my panic, I bit him and immediately he moved away, freeing my mouth of his bitter one. I wanted to spit the taste of him out, the indescribably foul filth. But he slapped me hard, so hard that every bone in my skull shook. I fell on the floor, my head hitting the wood painfully. Something wet - red, thick, fluid, slid out from my nose and the metallic taste of it spread across my taste buds.
If it weren't for the abuse I had already known from mother, I was sure I wouldn't be able to hold on any longer. Death was so very inviting right now. So, why did I cling on for dear life?
++++++++++++++++++
Five days ago.
I felt as though I had slept forever when my subconscious mind finally decided I was rested enough. I opened my eyes only to find myself seeing nothing. It took me a few seconds to comprehend the bleak darkness. I was in a shack and the sounds of the crickets could be heard beyond the four wooden walls. My hands were bound together, I couldn't get up and my neck ached with every movement. I tried to sit up, the effort seemed to eat up every ounce of energy in me. How long had I passed out anyway? How long since I had had anything to eat and drink? I licked my dried and cracked lips and tasted blood. I needed to get help, I needed to get back home .Home. Thoughts of my abusive mother, the father who had never once protected me and the doll of a woman he had brought home flashed in my mind. Why did I need to go back anyway? I had always been counting the days when I could finally be free of the days walking on earth, of leaving home, of dying. Strange thoughts for a fourteen-year-old, but I had tasted enough of life to know what I would face in the future. I would be head of the family, deal with the family's business, get a wife, and have a family. But I don't want all that! I don't want a wife! I don't want to have a family! I just wished I would never have to face a single soul on earth until I breathe my last breath. Having a family was a burden, humans were nothing but empty bodies going through life mechanically and brought nothing but trouble.
Besides, my absence wouldn't be missed anyway. No one did care about me. Mother may just miss her toy, father had his woman to comfort him. They would have a child to replace my lost and that was it. Nobody needed me just as I didn't need anybody. I buried my face into my palms and felt the squeeze of my aching heart. I hadn't sink this deep into my thoughts ever since. ever since I had met him, my only friend. He had made me forget of my quiet suffering, he made me want to live just to see what he was up to the next day and the next. I couldn't believe I almost forgot him amidst my messed up mind. I could never think straight when I was alone.
"Sanzo!"
It was just barely a whisper but I heard it.
"Sanzo!"
It was him! But how had he found me? I tried to speak, the darkness of my mind forgotten, but it felt as though the dryness of my mouth had constricted my vocal cords. From the barred windows, I saw a shadow and the brightness of a dim paper lamp.
"Goku." I managed to moan as I slowly but surely made my way towards the source of light. It had to be at least for a week I was kept here, I had never felt more lethargic in my entire life. Even the last time mother starved me for two days didn't feel as bad as this.
"Sanzo! I found you! Here, here, here, drink this." He pulled out a small water bag and quickly uncapped it. He pushed it between the bars and tilted it over my mouth. As I hurriedly gulped down every drop, the wonder of a boy was quickly speaking.
"I overheard the mistress your father had brought back talking with some baddy looking guys while I was in the forest. You had been gone for six days! Everyone was looking for you! The evil lady! She kidnapped you!" Goku was shaking, I couldn't tell whether it was because of the cold or because of something else. So it was her, it wasn't a surprise though. I should be feeling murderously angry at the moment but I didn't. I should be plotting some kind of revenge over the woman but my mind was turning in that way just yet. Instead, I was choking on some foreign feeling. It felt warm over my chest and was comfortably spreading to every inch of my body. He came, somehow against all odds, someone actually came for me. I felt his smaller hands squeezing my shoulders.
"Let's get you out!" The pressure on my shoulders disappeared and so did he. I heard him rummaging through some things and he finally held out an axe that weighed more than the eight-year-old.
Just as he was about to swing the axe, he paused. I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door just as he did. I shook my head, the look on my face easily understood. He shook back, not wanting to leave. Couldn't the idiot see he was putting himself in danger! He himself could get caught and god knows what those people would do to him. I leaned against the window, my back facing him. My heart felt heavy, I didn't want him to go, I didn't want to stay here any longer either but what could two mere children do against a group of savage adults anyway.
I heard his light footsteps and the dry rustling of the grass almost drowned by the bawdy laughter of the approaching men.
"I'll get Gojyo! We'll come and get you!"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
I could have gone mad in the days I spent in the dark little cabin they had locked me in but it was him, the thought that someone out there was genuinely worried for me that sustained me. And I knew that one day he would keep his promise. Though he never did come for me that night, I didn't blame him. On the night Goku left, it was also the night my captors had brought me to the port. I had pretended to be unconscious as they carried me, laughing over my fate.
From what they spoke to each other, I only knew I was to be shipped to some foreign land. It seemed I had angered father's mistress and I had to pay. By getting rid of me, her child would also take over my place as heir to father's business. I laughed inwardly. Women were so materialistic. I wonder if the child she had would have an attitude as leery as hers. Maybe one day, she would get a taste of her medicine.
The two mangy men passed me over to the captain of the ship and the worst chapter of my life began. The ship had sat sail for five days now and the journey would take several more weeks. Although the vessel seemed like a normal merchant ship, it was actually a mask disguising their real task. They were smuggling children over to other lands for labor. With labor cost on the rise, it was no wonder why children for labor were in demand. It was all in order for some greedy, miser of a man to rake profit from the exploitation.
Now, I faced the middleman who shared a scrap of wealth from the illegal smuggling business. He picked me from the floor and brought his face just inches away from mine.
"Come on boy," he coaxed. "Don't you want to find out what it takes to be a man?" My innards felt grossly nauseated as he smothered his body over mine. I felt something pressing painfully against my hips and attempted to reach for it as he slowly peeled of what was left of my clothing. When I finally wrapped my fingers around the hard yet smooth object, I smirked. I pulled it out and blindly stabbed. I didn't give a damn what I was doing, my movements were uncontrollable, my thoughts blank. I just continued raising the blade and randomly stabbed at the large body that was slowly sliding limply against me.
Red. all was red. My hands, my cloths, the blade I held so tightly until my skin stung. everything, was drenched in the captain's blood. I stared at the lifeless body emotionlessly. What had I done? Was this what I wanted? To take away the man's life? I dropped the blade and fell on my knees. The door had finally burst open and a whirl of commotion filled the tiny cabin. Someone had punched me, and another had grabbed me and pushed me hard against the wall. I withdrew myself from the horror just as I had always done when mother abused me. My eyes stayed on my bloodstained hands though. I knew I was no longer the same now, my hands would forever be stained. There would no longer be a heaven for my sinful soul.
To be continued (Though not so soon ^^).....
----------------------
*sighs* Okay, the ending sounded a little weird but I couldn't come up with anything better. GOMEN NASAI!!!! I'll come up with a revised and hopefully BETTER version when I have the time. I felt this one was a little rushed since I really wanted to get this done before I start me classes next week. Till then, JA!
Disclaimers : If I owned Saiyuki, my name wouldn't be Hanei Tamashii ^o^
Little Heaven
Chapter Three
By Hanei Tamashii
"NO!!!!!!"
I kicked him, punched him, pushed him but to no avail. The heavy body above me was just too much for my weakened body. He roughly shoved me on to the bed, not caring that I had hit my head on the wooden headrest, and tore my now stained silk shirt aside. His body trapped mine and he pressed my flailing hands down. I could only try to struggle free but with my hands restrained and legs anchored down by his, I couldn't do much.
"Stay still now," he said with a poisoned grin and he crushed his mouth over mine. I pressed my lips together, trying to put a stop to his violation but I could still feel the wet tongue laving over my own. I forcefully turned my head away from his repugnant face, but he followed and tried fixing his mouth over mine again. My heart was racing in my chest, drumming in a frantic beat, twisting so painfully I almost couldn't breathe. The burning sensation of my lungs grew with every moment. I couldn't hold it any longer and the moment my lips parted, his sour tongue filled my mouth, choking me. In my panic, I bit him and immediately he moved away, freeing my mouth of his bitter one. I wanted to spit the taste of him out, the indescribably foul filth. But he slapped me hard, so hard that every bone in my skull shook. I fell on the floor, my head hitting the wood painfully. Something wet - red, thick, fluid, slid out from my nose and the metallic taste of it spread across my taste buds.
If it weren't for the abuse I had already known from mother, I was sure I wouldn't be able to hold on any longer. Death was so very inviting right now. So, why did I cling on for dear life?
++++++++++++++++++
Five days ago.
I felt as though I had slept forever when my subconscious mind finally decided I was rested enough. I opened my eyes only to find myself seeing nothing. It took me a few seconds to comprehend the bleak darkness. I was in a shack and the sounds of the crickets could be heard beyond the four wooden walls. My hands were bound together, I couldn't get up and my neck ached with every movement. I tried to sit up, the effort seemed to eat up every ounce of energy in me. How long had I passed out anyway? How long since I had had anything to eat and drink? I licked my dried and cracked lips and tasted blood. I needed to get help, I needed to get back home .Home. Thoughts of my abusive mother, the father who had never once protected me and the doll of a woman he had brought home flashed in my mind. Why did I need to go back anyway? I had always been counting the days when I could finally be free of the days walking on earth, of leaving home, of dying. Strange thoughts for a fourteen-year-old, but I had tasted enough of life to know what I would face in the future. I would be head of the family, deal with the family's business, get a wife, and have a family. But I don't want all that! I don't want a wife! I don't want to have a family! I just wished I would never have to face a single soul on earth until I breathe my last breath. Having a family was a burden, humans were nothing but empty bodies going through life mechanically and brought nothing but trouble.
Besides, my absence wouldn't be missed anyway. No one did care about me. Mother may just miss her toy, father had his woman to comfort him. They would have a child to replace my lost and that was it. Nobody needed me just as I didn't need anybody. I buried my face into my palms and felt the squeeze of my aching heart. I hadn't sink this deep into my thoughts ever since. ever since I had met him, my only friend. He had made me forget of my quiet suffering, he made me want to live just to see what he was up to the next day and the next. I couldn't believe I almost forgot him amidst my messed up mind. I could never think straight when I was alone.
"Sanzo!"
It was just barely a whisper but I heard it.
"Sanzo!"
It was him! But how had he found me? I tried to speak, the darkness of my mind forgotten, but it felt as though the dryness of my mouth had constricted my vocal cords. From the barred windows, I saw a shadow and the brightness of a dim paper lamp.
"Goku." I managed to moan as I slowly but surely made my way towards the source of light. It had to be at least for a week I was kept here, I had never felt more lethargic in my entire life. Even the last time mother starved me for two days didn't feel as bad as this.
"Sanzo! I found you! Here, here, here, drink this." He pulled out a small water bag and quickly uncapped it. He pushed it between the bars and tilted it over my mouth. As I hurriedly gulped down every drop, the wonder of a boy was quickly speaking.
"I overheard the mistress your father had brought back talking with some baddy looking guys while I was in the forest. You had been gone for six days! Everyone was looking for you! The evil lady! She kidnapped you!" Goku was shaking, I couldn't tell whether it was because of the cold or because of something else. So it was her, it wasn't a surprise though. I should be feeling murderously angry at the moment but I didn't. I should be plotting some kind of revenge over the woman but my mind was turning in that way just yet. Instead, I was choking on some foreign feeling. It felt warm over my chest and was comfortably spreading to every inch of my body. He came, somehow against all odds, someone actually came for me. I felt his smaller hands squeezing my shoulders.
"Let's get you out!" The pressure on my shoulders disappeared and so did he. I heard him rummaging through some things and he finally held out an axe that weighed more than the eight-year-old.
Just as he was about to swing the axe, he paused. I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door just as he did. I shook my head, the look on my face easily understood. He shook back, not wanting to leave. Couldn't the idiot see he was putting himself in danger! He himself could get caught and god knows what those people would do to him. I leaned against the window, my back facing him. My heart felt heavy, I didn't want him to go, I didn't want to stay here any longer either but what could two mere children do against a group of savage adults anyway.
I heard his light footsteps and the dry rustling of the grass almost drowned by the bawdy laughter of the approaching men.
"I'll get Gojyo! We'll come and get you!"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
I could have gone mad in the days I spent in the dark little cabin they had locked me in but it was him, the thought that someone out there was genuinely worried for me that sustained me. And I knew that one day he would keep his promise. Though he never did come for me that night, I didn't blame him. On the night Goku left, it was also the night my captors had brought me to the port. I had pretended to be unconscious as they carried me, laughing over my fate.
From what they spoke to each other, I only knew I was to be shipped to some foreign land. It seemed I had angered father's mistress and I had to pay. By getting rid of me, her child would also take over my place as heir to father's business. I laughed inwardly. Women were so materialistic. I wonder if the child she had would have an attitude as leery as hers. Maybe one day, she would get a taste of her medicine.
The two mangy men passed me over to the captain of the ship and the worst chapter of my life began. The ship had sat sail for five days now and the journey would take several more weeks. Although the vessel seemed like a normal merchant ship, it was actually a mask disguising their real task. They were smuggling children over to other lands for labor. With labor cost on the rise, it was no wonder why children for labor were in demand. It was all in order for some greedy, miser of a man to rake profit from the exploitation.
Now, I faced the middleman who shared a scrap of wealth from the illegal smuggling business. He picked me from the floor and brought his face just inches away from mine.
"Come on boy," he coaxed. "Don't you want to find out what it takes to be a man?" My innards felt grossly nauseated as he smothered his body over mine. I felt something pressing painfully against my hips and attempted to reach for it as he slowly peeled of what was left of my clothing. When I finally wrapped my fingers around the hard yet smooth object, I smirked. I pulled it out and blindly stabbed. I didn't give a damn what I was doing, my movements were uncontrollable, my thoughts blank. I just continued raising the blade and randomly stabbed at the large body that was slowly sliding limply against me.
Red. all was red. My hands, my cloths, the blade I held so tightly until my skin stung. everything, was drenched in the captain's blood. I stared at the lifeless body emotionlessly. What had I done? Was this what I wanted? To take away the man's life? I dropped the blade and fell on my knees. The door had finally burst open and a whirl of commotion filled the tiny cabin. Someone had punched me, and another had grabbed me and pushed me hard against the wall. I withdrew myself from the horror just as I had always done when mother abused me. My eyes stayed on my bloodstained hands though. I knew I was no longer the same now, my hands would forever be stained. There would no longer be a heaven for my sinful soul.
To be continued (Though not so soon ^^).....
----------------------
*sighs* Okay, the ending sounded a little weird but I couldn't come up with anything better. GOMEN NASAI!!!! I'll come up with a revised and hopefully BETTER version when I have the time. I felt this one was a little rushed since I really wanted to get this done before I start me classes next week. Till then, JA!