Disclaimer- Seeing as I need one, can't you figure they're not mine?

Comments and suggestions are always welcome, as is criticism, provided there is a measure of constructiveness about it.

A/N- Katz, I would love another chapter! Even another cliff hanger would be welcome, provided it's a nice looooooooong chapter, of course! ;-p heeheehee!


Stirred Emotions


I am feeling really blue,
Things are getting me down,
It's hard to keep up a cheery facade,
When my face is fixed in a frown.

When everything around me,
Falls in to disarray,
I find it impossible to think about,
Things to do or say.

Whenever depression takes over my mind,
I try to think back to happier days,
But these memories are hard to recall,
And my thoughts become trapped in my mind's twisted maze.


Dear Diary,
I'm sure you can guess how strongly recent events have effected me. Fear and disillusionment seem to come hand in hand in this place. I was scared for Frank when he collapsed, but now I can't see anything in him. I realise now why I got so many puzzled looks while I was together with him; he has no redeeming qualities. I'm not with him anymore.

But there is someone. Someone who is loyal and dedicated to fault. Someone whose very attitude attracts people to him. Someone who is so unlike me.

Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce.

Hawkeye.

Nurse, friend, and all around good egg.

Those seven words have been playing through my mind for almost a month. I visited him every day whilst he was sick. McIntyre was the second worse, his flu lasted a full week, but Hawkeye was in bed for 15 days and it was another week after that before he was allowed to operate.

I was so worried. That damned injection! He was right, he probably wouldn't have caught the flu if it weren't for that stupid vaccination.

Let me tell you something administration. You know that little shot you gave me for the flu?
Yes.
Well it worked, I've got it.

I didn't believe concern could make a person feel sick until he said that. I immediately began seeing a clouded look in his eyes, sweat on his forehead, a quiver in his hands. I doubt as I'll ever know if those symptoms were really there or if I was just imagining the worst. I don't know if it was for him or the patients, but I have a strong suspicion.

That session in OR seemed twice as long as it really was. It was even longer for him, obviously. He couldn't take even a five minute break and by the end of it he was sitting on a stool with Father Mulcahy holding him up.

As soon as the last patient was closed he collapsed, literally. He was asleep for almost two days and I never left his bed side. Thank God Frank was still sick for the first day. He would never have let me spend so much time near Hawkeye, but I had to.

I needed time to think over what he'd said, and my reaction to what he'd said.

He's very sick.

But I was desperately hoping that he really did mean it. Everyone knew how he had carried on and were respectfully quiet when near his bed, giving me an ideal atmosphere for some serious thinking. I found myself running through every compliment he had even given me, every pass he had ever made at me. I had always acted affronted, and I suddenly realised that it was just an act.

I found myself longing to see his eyes. They always reminded me of two precious stones, sparkling in the brilliance of the sun.

I was asleep when he finally woke up. When I woke up I was lying on the bed next to his, covered with a blanket. McIntyre was talking with Hawkeye and they were both laughing.

I used to think I had a crush on McIntyre. I could laugh at the thought now. I couldn't wait for him to leave so as I could talk to Hawkeye alone. I had suddenly realised I loved the sound of his voice. But Henry and Frank walked in before McIntyre left. I quickly jumped up to stand with them and walked out with Frank after they had presented him with his scroll'.

I told Frank it was over the very next day. He didn't put up much of a fight. He mentioned his wife a few times and then left. Left me alone with my thoughts of Hawkeye. I tried to talk with him after Frank left, but he was in the mess tent surrounded by people. So I turned around and left.

And I've been avoiding him ever since. It's hard enough to avoid someone for a few hours in this camp, but for a month?! I don't know how I've managed it. And eventually I know I'll bump in to him and then... I don't know how I'll manage.'


Margaret sighed as she closed her diary.
I really should talk to him. I'm sure he was looking hurt when I left the mess tent last night.
She continued he mumbled musings as she slipped on her coat and left her tent.

Hi Margaret!

Captain Pierce. She winced as she heard the coolness of her voice, the result of trying to keep it steady. Anything I can do for you?

I was just going to ask you the same thing. You seem to be in a permanent hurry to avoid me lately. Any reason in particular?

Of course not.
Hawkeye made no reply and Margaret found she missed the sound of his voice. She opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it.

Margaret, Trapper tells me you stayed with me the whole two days I was out.
He took her silence and the blush that crept up her cheeks as proof of this and continued.

Why not try spending that much time with me while I'm awake?

She turned to face him, and whatever reply she was going to give died on her lips. A look of tender longing was in Hawkeye's eyes and she knew that her eyes mirrored his.

The two of them stood like that whilst time passed over the rest of the world, feeling nothing but the wind of love blowing by them as it gently stirred their emotions.