Part IV: Lily Page's Tavern, even later that evening…
Lily Page, the proprietress of Lily Page's Tavern, was enjoying the peace and quiet of a slow evening when the most interesting patrons she'd had in a long time came through the door. "Dear Lord, I expected that you'd come back," she said to Wolverine, "but I never imagined I'd see the three of you again."
"Neither did we," Jean said with a smile, but then she grimaced. "Were we so bad that you remember us?"
"Have no fear, sweetie, I remember every first-timer. I spot 'em the minute they walk through the door; they're the ones who look like they're afraid Mommy and Daddy are gonna show up." Logan laughed aloud and Lily gestured to the bar stools, "You want a booth, or is the bar good enough?"
Scott went for the booth, but Logan pulled up a stool, so Cyclops turned and sat challengingly next to him. Lily served up the first round—beer for Jean, Storm, and Cyclops, and bourbon on the rocks for Logan. Logan raised his glass in a mocking toast, "May the best boozer win!" He deliberately quaffed a generous mouthful, taunting Scott who'd only taken a sip. The youngest X-man caught Wolverine's scornful expression and took a large swig from his bottle. Logan eyed Cyclops' outwardly straight face with veiled amusement, knowing Scott must've felt that draught all the way down. Too bad he was so good at keeping a straight face—wait! His ears turned red! Logan looked away to hide his laughter. This promised to be an extremely amusing evening.
"I seem to remember you drinking something a little stronger last time, hon." Lily commented to Ororo.
Storm firmly shook her head, tightening her grip on her bottle, "Thanks, but I'll stick to beer this time. And I WILL last longer than you!" she added, glaring playfully at Jean.
"We'll see about that!"
"Best of luck, ladies!" Logan said, raising his glass to them and taking another drink, forcing Scott to do the same.
"D'you suppose the kids are wondering where we are?" Jean asked.
"We've all gone out together before," Storm replied, unconcerned.
"That's true, they'll think we're off on some 'mission' to save the world," Logan chuckled. "It'd never cross their minds that the noble X-men might be out swilling alcohol."
"It shouldn't. We have a reputation to maintain."
"Maybe YOU do, Cyke."
"Oh, lighten up, Scott, everyone needs to let loose once in awhile," Jean said dismissively, then grinned past her fiancé at Logan and saluted him with her long neck, "Bottoms up!"
***
A couple of beers later…
Hic!
"Jean? You okay?"
"Just fine, Logan." (Hic!) "Damn." Jean and Storm erupted into giggles.
"I guess what they say about getting the hiccups when you're drunk really is true!" Storm laughed.
"Did you get the hiccups?" Logan asked her.
"Are you kidding? Three shots and I was out cold!"
Scott burst out laughing, "Thank God. That tequila was the only thing that saved me from eternal humiliation of being the first to pass out!"
"Ain't nothin' gonna save ya tonight, Bub!"
"Oh yeah? Bring it on!" Scott blinked several times behind his sunglasses. "Hey, Lily, another round for me and the tipsy redhead!"
"The wha'?" Jean gulped the last of her beer and drew herself up, "Excuse me, sweetheart, I may be tipsy, but you're just plain drunk!"
"I'm not! Not yet anyway."
Storm let out a whoop of laughter and slapped the bar surface, "Give 'em a couple more, Lily, and he'll have his hand up her shirt!"
Wolverine choked on his bourbon and leaned over to tap on Storm's forehead, "You've got a dirty little mind in there!"
"I don't remember you being this rowdy last time," Cyclops said to Storm, his hand on Jean's thigh.
"Tha's because I didn't have time to get rowdy. A few shots and—" Storm mimed hitting herself over the head dramatically. "No sir, this time I'm gonna get as bombed as the rest of ya."
"Gonna? You're already bombed!" Logan declared, by no means cold sober himself.
"I-am-not-bombed!" Ororo exclaimed, punctuating each word with a thump on the bar, "I'm just a little befududdled. I need a couple more before I'm really intosicated." She tried to take a drink from her bottle and discovered it was empty, "Whoops! Hey Lily!"
***
Several more beers later…
"I am not!" Scott drew himself up with pumped-up dignity on the bar stool. "I am perfectly steady!"
Storm doubled over laughing, pounding on the bar before she pointed at Cyclops and exclaimed, "Boy, you are sooooo drunk!" She punctuated the statement with a sweeping gesture that swung her stool in a complete circle and caused Logan and Jean to duck. (Even though Jean was on the opposite side of Cyclops.)
"I am sooooo not drunk!" Scott retorted in an unintentional imitation of Ororo's tone.
That sent Jean laughing hysterically and hiccupping even harder, pointing at both of them and waggling her finger helplessly. Lily Page was cleaning an array of empty bottles, watching the dialogue. Scott noticed and jerked his head at Jean, "'Scuse her, Lily, she's jus' a lil' ineber-inebro…she's just a lil drunk."
Logan seriously shook his head, "She's not very sober."
"No." Storm agreed solemnly.
"I am a little bit wasted," Jean announced, leaning heavily on her equally-soused fiancé's shoulder. Cyke seemed to think that called for a toast and chinked his bottle against Wolverine's glass, spilling beer into the hard liquor.
"Hey, don' dilute it!" Logan exclaimed, but downed the contents anyway and motioned rapidly at Lily for a refill. "Ya know, Bub, someone's gonna hafta pass out sometime along here sometime!"
"Well it ain't gonna be me if tha's what yer wondering!" Scott replied, pointing his bottle at Wolverine, "I'll show you I can hold my liquor!" He waggled the bottle in Logan's face, spilling some of the beer.
"That stuff's s'posed to go in yer mouth, Scotty-boy!"
"Pay 'tention to yer own alc'hol, blub!"
"You couldn't handle thisss stuff."
"What is it? Still bourbon?"
"Nah, stupid, bourbon's not clear. It's Guzzler's gin. Wanna try it?"
"No, no, no, I still got some brain cells left, bub!" Scott declared, throwing up a hand in rejection, "I'm nod gonna let you drink me unner the table."
"You should try it. You'd like it. It's a nice smoooooth drink!"
"Forget it." Cyclops took a large swig of beer instead.
"Suit yaself, bub!" Logan replied and both finished their drinks and called for another round.
Jean had the hiccups again, and Scott tried to cure them by slapping her on the back. "Did thad help?"
"I don' think so, but thanks anyway, Scott-clops."
"Don' mention it."
"Ya know?" Logan mused, waiting until Cyke turned around to face him.
"What do I know?"
"Not a whole helluva lot, but I was just thinking thatcha don' have muchuva life, do ya?" Wolverine took a snort of gin.
"Whaddaya talkin' about! I have a life!"
"No ya sure don't!" Logan replied smugly, "I seen in yer bookshelf and yer desk in yer office and you got nothing interesting ad all!"
Scott smacked his fist on the bar and drew himself up drunkenly, "What the hell were you doin' in my office?!"
"I was lookin' fer your keys an' ya know what, Scotty-boy?" Logan drew himself up to eye-level with Cyclops. "I couldin' find 'em! All I found was a book called You Suck by J.J. Sharpe that Jean gave you 'cause I guess SHE thinks you have no life too!"
"Now tha's not true!" Jean exclaimed, shoving her beau clean off his bar stool so she could point a finger directly in Logan's face. "I do not think he 'as no life! Don't you listen to him, Scott-clops, tha's not why I gave you that book!"
Storm was watching the argument with great interest and finally asked, "Weeeelll, why didja give 'im the book then?"
"It's a slatire!" Jean replied, "It was funny an' he thought id was funny too. So don't-you-go-makin'-funofim-'cause-of-that-book!" she ordered Logan, poking him in the shoulder with each word.
"Yeah!" Scott agreed, jumping back onto the stool. "What she said! An' ya know what J.J. Sharpe says? You suck!" He pointed his long neck again and splashed beer down the front of Wolverine's shirt.
Lily Page glanced at the clock, wondering how much longer they could keep at it before someone crashed. By then all four X-men were too inebriated to have any scruples left. "I still think you 'ave no life! Hey!" Logan pointed over his shoulder at the lit pool table, "I'll betcha don' even know how to play pool!"
"Welll…….no," Scott replied, and over Logan's snort and Storm's loud guffaw, he snapped, "But I bet I could learn it an' be real good ad it if I wanted to!"
"Brig it on then! Hey, Lily, we need another round an' we're gonna shoot some pools."
"Have fun," the barkeep answered dubiously, but she was chuckling behind her hand as she grabbed three more beers and another gin. Those four kids were going to be sick as dogs tomorrow morning!
Lily Page, the proprietress of Lily Page's Tavern, was enjoying the peace and quiet of a slow evening when the most interesting patrons she'd had in a long time came through the door. "Dear Lord, I expected that you'd come back," she said to Wolverine, "but I never imagined I'd see the three of you again."
"Neither did we," Jean said with a smile, but then she grimaced. "Were we so bad that you remember us?"
"Have no fear, sweetie, I remember every first-timer. I spot 'em the minute they walk through the door; they're the ones who look like they're afraid Mommy and Daddy are gonna show up." Logan laughed aloud and Lily gestured to the bar stools, "You want a booth, or is the bar good enough?"
Scott went for the booth, but Logan pulled up a stool, so Cyclops turned and sat challengingly next to him. Lily served up the first round—beer for Jean, Storm, and Cyclops, and bourbon on the rocks for Logan. Logan raised his glass in a mocking toast, "May the best boozer win!" He deliberately quaffed a generous mouthful, taunting Scott who'd only taken a sip. The youngest X-man caught Wolverine's scornful expression and took a large swig from his bottle. Logan eyed Cyclops' outwardly straight face with veiled amusement, knowing Scott must've felt that draught all the way down. Too bad he was so good at keeping a straight face—wait! His ears turned red! Logan looked away to hide his laughter. This promised to be an extremely amusing evening.
"I seem to remember you drinking something a little stronger last time, hon." Lily commented to Ororo.
Storm firmly shook her head, tightening her grip on her bottle, "Thanks, but I'll stick to beer this time. And I WILL last longer than you!" she added, glaring playfully at Jean.
"We'll see about that!"
"Best of luck, ladies!" Logan said, raising his glass to them and taking another drink, forcing Scott to do the same.
"D'you suppose the kids are wondering where we are?" Jean asked.
"We've all gone out together before," Storm replied, unconcerned.
"That's true, they'll think we're off on some 'mission' to save the world," Logan chuckled. "It'd never cross their minds that the noble X-men might be out swilling alcohol."
"It shouldn't. We have a reputation to maintain."
"Maybe YOU do, Cyke."
"Oh, lighten up, Scott, everyone needs to let loose once in awhile," Jean said dismissively, then grinned past her fiancé at Logan and saluted him with her long neck, "Bottoms up!"
***
A couple of beers later…
Hic!
"Jean? You okay?"
"Just fine, Logan." (Hic!) "Damn." Jean and Storm erupted into giggles.
"I guess what they say about getting the hiccups when you're drunk really is true!" Storm laughed.
"Did you get the hiccups?" Logan asked her.
"Are you kidding? Three shots and I was out cold!"
Scott burst out laughing, "Thank God. That tequila was the only thing that saved me from eternal humiliation of being the first to pass out!"
"Ain't nothin' gonna save ya tonight, Bub!"
"Oh yeah? Bring it on!" Scott blinked several times behind his sunglasses. "Hey, Lily, another round for me and the tipsy redhead!"
"The wha'?" Jean gulped the last of her beer and drew herself up, "Excuse me, sweetheart, I may be tipsy, but you're just plain drunk!"
"I'm not! Not yet anyway."
Storm let out a whoop of laughter and slapped the bar surface, "Give 'em a couple more, Lily, and he'll have his hand up her shirt!"
Wolverine choked on his bourbon and leaned over to tap on Storm's forehead, "You've got a dirty little mind in there!"
"I don't remember you being this rowdy last time," Cyclops said to Storm, his hand on Jean's thigh.
"Tha's because I didn't have time to get rowdy. A few shots and—" Storm mimed hitting herself over the head dramatically. "No sir, this time I'm gonna get as bombed as the rest of ya."
"Gonna? You're already bombed!" Logan declared, by no means cold sober himself.
"I-am-not-bombed!" Ororo exclaimed, punctuating each word with a thump on the bar, "I'm just a little befududdled. I need a couple more before I'm really intosicated." She tried to take a drink from her bottle and discovered it was empty, "Whoops! Hey Lily!"
***
Several more beers later…
"I am not!" Scott drew himself up with pumped-up dignity on the bar stool. "I am perfectly steady!"
Storm doubled over laughing, pounding on the bar before she pointed at Cyclops and exclaimed, "Boy, you are sooooo drunk!" She punctuated the statement with a sweeping gesture that swung her stool in a complete circle and caused Logan and Jean to duck. (Even though Jean was on the opposite side of Cyclops.)
"I am sooooo not drunk!" Scott retorted in an unintentional imitation of Ororo's tone.
That sent Jean laughing hysterically and hiccupping even harder, pointing at both of them and waggling her finger helplessly. Lily Page was cleaning an array of empty bottles, watching the dialogue. Scott noticed and jerked his head at Jean, "'Scuse her, Lily, she's jus' a lil' ineber-inebro…she's just a lil drunk."
Logan seriously shook his head, "She's not very sober."
"No." Storm agreed solemnly.
"I am a little bit wasted," Jean announced, leaning heavily on her equally-soused fiancé's shoulder. Cyke seemed to think that called for a toast and chinked his bottle against Wolverine's glass, spilling beer into the hard liquor.
"Hey, don' dilute it!" Logan exclaimed, but downed the contents anyway and motioned rapidly at Lily for a refill. "Ya know, Bub, someone's gonna hafta pass out sometime along here sometime!"
"Well it ain't gonna be me if tha's what yer wondering!" Scott replied, pointing his bottle at Wolverine, "I'll show you I can hold my liquor!" He waggled the bottle in Logan's face, spilling some of the beer.
"That stuff's s'posed to go in yer mouth, Scotty-boy!"
"Pay 'tention to yer own alc'hol, blub!"
"You couldn't handle thisss stuff."
"What is it? Still bourbon?"
"Nah, stupid, bourbon's not clear. It's Guzzler's gin. Wanna try it?"
"No, no, no, I still got some brain cells left, bub!" Scott declared, throwing up a hand in rejection, "I'm nod gonna let you drink me unner the table."
"You should try it. You'd like it. It's a nice smoooooth drink!"
"Forget it." Cyclops took a large swig of beer instead.
"Suit yaself, bub!" Logan replied and both finished their drinks and called for another round.
Jean had the hiccups again, and Scott tried to cure them by slapping her on the back. "Did thad help?"
"I don' think so, but thanks anyway, Scott-clops."
"Don' mention it."
"Ya know?" Logan mused, waiting until Cyke turned around to face him.
"What do I know?"
"Not a whole helluva lot, but I was just thinking thatcha don' have muchuva life, do ya?" Wolverine took a snort of gin.
"Whaddaya talkin' about! I have a life!"
"No ya sure don't!" Logan replied smugly, "I seen in yer bookshelf and yer desk in yer office and you got nothing interesting ad all!"
Scott smacked his fist on the bar and drew himself up drunkenly, "What the hell were you doin' in my office?!"
"I was lookin' fer your keys an' ya know what, Scotty-boy?" Logan drew himself up to eye-level with Cyclops. "I couldin' find 'em! All I found was a book called You Suck by J.J. Sharpe that Jean gave you 'cause I guess SHE thinks you have no life too!"
"Now tha's not true!" Jean exclaimed, shoving her beau clean off his bar stool so she could point a finger directly in Logan's face. "I do not think he 'as no life! Don't you listen to him, Scott-clops, tha's not why I gave you that book!"
Storm was watching the argument with great interest and finally asked, "Weeeelll, why didja give 'im the book then?"
"It's a slatire!" Jean replied, "It was funny an' he thought id was funny too. So don't-you-go-makin'-funofim-'cause-of-that-book!" she ordered Logan, poking him in the shoulder with each word.
"Yeah!" Scott agreed, jumping back onto the stool. "What she said! An' ya know what J.J. Sharpe says? You suck!" He pointed his long neck again and splashed beer down the front of Wolverine's shirt.
Lily Page glanced at the clock, wondering how much longer they could keep at it before someone crashed. By then all four X-men were too inebriated to have any scruples left. "I still think you 'ave no life! Hey!" Logan pointed over his shoulder at the lit pool table, "I'll betcha don' even know how to play pool!"
"Welll…….no," Scott replied, and over Logan's snort and Storm's loud guffaw, he snapped, "But I bet I could learn it an' be real good ad it if I wanted to!"
"Brig it on then! Hey, Lily, we need another round an' we're gonna shoot some pools."
"Have fun," the barkeep answered dubiously, but she was chuckling behind her hand as she grabbed three more beers and another gin. Those four kids were going to be sick as dogs tomorrow morning!