Act 1, Scene 1

(Verona, a market street with much hustling and bustling from the many actors. In the wings there are drunken voices heard, but they quickly fall silent. Coming out from both sides of the stage are Sarafan and Vampires)

1st Sarafan: The quarrel is between our masters and us their men, the unholy vampires.

2nd Sarafan: (Whispering) Sir, that's not part of the lines! I'll just do the rest of them, okay? 'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the maids: I will cut off their heads.

1st Sarafan: Draw thy sword; here comes two of the House of the Montagues.

(Two other vampires step forward from the rest and draw their blades as well. But it looks like they aren't going to act anymore, but really fight)

1st Sarafan: My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back thee.

2nd Sarafan: How? Turn thy back and run?

1st Sarafan: Fear me not!

2nd Sarafan: Let us take the law into our own hands; they shall start the fight.

1st Sarafan: Agreed. Let us walk past them, I will frown as I pass, and let them take it as they list.

1st Vampire: Do you bit your thumb at us sir? (Gives a very dangerous look at both Sarafan)

2nd Sarafan: I do bite my thumb, sir.

2nd Vampire: Do you quarrel with us? (Both vampires give deadly glares to the Sarafan, and the human warriors unconsciously go into their battle stances. The crowd begin to move, ready for a fight scene)

(Backstage, a completely different thing is happening. The director is helping Umah try and throw up, while Dumah and Turel are singing quite loudly and drunkenly)

Director: Damnit, you're both up soon. I didn't know vampires could get drunk!

Umah: God, I feel queasy. And whoever told you that vampires couldn't get drunk you really know nothing about us!

(Dumah and Turel both wobble towards the stage and listen in to the fighting that takes part in the first scene. Benvolio enters and his lines are spoken)

Dumah: (wobbles towards the stage) That's mah cue!

Director: NO! Don't go out there! You're not ready, you drunk! (Makes a lunge at Dumah and grabs him by the leg, knocking him to the floor) Drink this! (Pours some sort of pink liquid down his throat) It'll help you get rid of the effects of the alcohol quickly! Okay, now you can go out and wow them, kid.

(Dumah/Tybalt walks out onto the stage. His vampires give a big cheer, while the Sarafan boo him. At a glance from the Clan lord, they shut up. Director wipes the sweat from her brow and looks at Turel, sighing. Still drunk and up very soon)

Dumah: What! Art thou drawn among these heartless hinds? Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon thine death. (Takes out his sword)

Bevolio/peasant: I do but keep the peace; put up thy sword. Or manage it to part these men with me (To himself) Oh god, please don't kill me, please don't kill me!

Dumah: What! Drawn, and talk of peace? I hate that word, as I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee. Have at thee, coward.

(Attacks the man and even thought the script only called for a mild wounding and a fake death, Dumah runs the guy though, then cuts him in half just because that's Dumah for you. Well, that's the cue for the vampires and Sarafan actors to fight, and soon the stage is awash in real blood, not the fake stuff, and the audience is beginning to cheer for the warriors)

Anamae: (Looks at the stage, then at the director who'd just managed to make Turel swallow that same liquid) Umm, you DID put chicken blood out there, right?

Director: Honey, I don't put the chicken blood out. What you're seeing is the real thing! I never fake anything in the theatre.

Anamae: Oh god. (Watches as some human blood falls on Mobieus) Aahahahaha, take that you horny old man!

(Lord and Lady Capulet, Janos and Melchiah, rush out onto the stage)

Janos: What is this noise? Wife, bring me my long sword, whoa!! (Slips on the blood and falls into two actors)

Melchiah: A crutch, a crutch! Why you call for a sword! (Kneels down and picks up Janos) Do you really need a crutch? Your leg looks injured.

(Catcalls and whistles to Melchiah, who begins to blush furiously. Obviously the costume looks too good on him)

Janos: My sword, I say! Old Montague is come, and flourishes his blade in spite of me.

(Enter Lord and Lady Montague, or Vorador and Umah. She's holding onto his arm as she moves along slightly unsteady. The Sarafan and Vampire warriors move off to the sides and stop their fighting…for the moment)

Vorador: Thou villain Capulet! Hold me not; let me go wife!

Umah: Thou shalt not stir one foot to seek a foe! (Whispers in his ear) Besides, I still can't see straight. You move off and I go tumbling down and I swear to God that I'll take you with me!

(Fanfare from the speaker system; the Prince AKA Turel enters with his servants in tow)

Turel: Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,
Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel--
Will they not hear? What, ho! you men, you beasts,
That quench the fire of your pernicious rage
With purple fountains issuing from your veins,
On pain of torture, from those bloody hands
Throw your mistemper'd weapons to the ground,
And hear the sentence of your moved prince.
Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,
By thee, old Capulet, and Montague,
Have thrice disturb'd the quiet of our streets,
And made Verona's ancient citizens
Cast by their grave beseeming ornaments,
To wield old partisans, in hands as old,
Canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate:
If ever you disturb our streets again,
Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace.
For this time, all the rest depart away:
You Capulet; shall go along with me:
And, Montague, come you this afternoon,
To know our further pleasure in this case,
To old Free-town, our common judgment-place.
Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.

(Every other actor besides Lord and Lady Capulet and Lord and Lady Montague leave. The audience is now really getting into the hand of things, except Mobieus, who had tried to clean the blood off him but was hit with more by a certain authoress)

Vorador: Who set this ancient quarrel new abroach?
Speak, Prince, were you by when it began?

Turel: Here were the servants of your adversary,
And yours, close fighting ere I did approach:
I drew to part them: in the instant came
The fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepared,
Which, as he breathed defiance to my ears,
He swung about his head and cut the winds,
Who nothing hurt withal hiss'd him in scorn:
While we were interchanging thrusts and blows,
Came more and more and fought on part and part,
Till the prince came, who parted either part.

Umah: O, where is Romeo? Saw you him to day?
Right glad I am he was not at this fray.

Turel: Madam, an hour before the worshipp'd sun
Peer'd forth the golden window of the east,
A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad;
Where, underneath the grove of sycamore
That westward rooteth from the city's side,
So early walking did I see your son:
Towards him I made, but he was ware of me
And stole into the covert of the wood:
I, measuring his affections by my own,
That most are busied when they're most alone,
Pursued my humour not pursuing his,
And gladly shunn'd who gladly fled from me.

Vorador: (Looks across to Umah, then gulps deeply and remembers his lines even if he doesn't understand the meaning of some) Many a morning hath he there been seen,
With tears augmenting the fresh morning dew.
Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs;
But all so soon as the all-cheering sun
Should in the furthest east begin to draw
The shady curtains from Aurora's bed,
Away from the light steals home my heavy son,
And private in his chamber pens himself,
Shuts up his windows, locks far daylight out
And makes himself an artificial night:
Black and portentous must this humour prove,
Unless good counsel may the cause remove.

(Backstage, Kain was getting ready for his big entrance)

Kain: So how do I look, Ariel?

Ariel: Like I am really going to answer that. (Looks in the other direction)

Anamae: I think you look very handsome, Kain. (Grins)

Kain: I did not ask you. Aha, there is my cue. A star is born tonight! (Walks onstage as Vorador finishes the last of his lines. The vampires begin to cheer loudly while the Sarafan boo; fistfights begin to break out until the ushers settle both sides down, resulting in some 'minor' injuries and one death)

Vorador: (Yelling to be heard over the audience) I would thou wert so happy by thy stay,
to hear true shrift. Come, madam, let's away. (Umah and him walk off-stage, along with Melchiah dragging an injured Janos, leaving Turel and Kain standing side by side. Everyone quiets down)

Turel: Good-morrow, dear friend.

Kain: Is the day so young?

(Looks over at Turel and waits for him to speak. Unfortunately, Turel forgot his lines at that point and looked at his father for help. Rolling his eyes, Kain continued his part, mentally reminding himself that he would hit Turel over the head afterwards for nearly ruining his performance)

Kain: Ay me! Sad hours seem long.
Was that my father that went hence so fast?

(Turel has still forgotten his lines…and Kain gets a dangerous look in his eyes but then remembers that to understand the next line of 'Romeo' he will also have to speak Turel's. Being an actor is so hard, the master vampire thought)

Kain: It was. What sadness lengthens my own hours? Not having that, which, having makes them short.

Turel: (Eyes light up as he remembers his next line and gives an impressive grin. A few fan girls in the audience begin to swoon) In love? Of love?

Kain: Out of her favour, where I am in love.

Turel: I can completely understand that. One time-

Kain: (Whispering) Those aren't your lines, idiot. Stick to the script! (Hand goes down to rest on Soul Reaver's pommel)

Turel: Alas, that love, so gentle in his view,
Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!

Kain: (Clears his throat and turns to face the audience. More fan girls begin to swoon and have to be held up by vampires/Sarafan) Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,
Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!
Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here?
Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.
Here's much to do with hate, but more with love.
Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!
O any thing, of nothing first create!
O heavy lightness! serious vanity!
Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire,
sick health!
Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
This love feel I, that feel no love in this.
Dost thou not laugh?

Turel: Oh, I weep at such words!

Kain: Good heart, at what?

Turel: At thy good heart's oppression. Not like you have a good heart, but still-

Kain: Stick to the script! Why, such is love's transgression.
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,
Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest
With more of thine: this love that thou hast shown
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.
Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vex'd a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears:
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
a choking gall and a preserving sweet.
Farewell, my prince.

Turel: Tell me in sadness, who is that you love? Groan! Why, no.
But sadly tell me who; on which mark do I hit?

Kain: (Skips through a few of his lines and gets to his main speech; perhaps Ariel would be impressed by this!) Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit
With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit;
And, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd,
From love's weak childish bow she lives unharm'd.
She will not stay the siege of loving terms,
Nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes,
Nor open her lap to saint-seducing gold:
O, she is rich in beauty, only poor,
That when she dies with beauty dies her store.
She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste,
For beauty starved with her severity
Cuts beauty off from all posterity.
She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,
To merit bliss by making me despair:
She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow
Do I live dead that live to tell it now.
'Tis the way
To call hers exquisite, in question more:
These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows
Being black put us in mind they hide the fair;
He that is strucken blind cannot forget
The precious treasure of his eyesight lost:
Show me a mistress that is passing fair,
What doth her beauty serve, but as a note
Where I may read who pass'd that passing fair?
Farewell: thou canst not teach me to forget.

Turel: I'll pay that doctrine, or else die in debt.

(Both exit the stage to the sounds of cheering from both sides now; even the humans have to admit that so far the play is doing well, despite a few lines missing here and there. Fan girls scream out Turel and Kain's names, try to rush the stage and are pushed back by the guards)

(Backstage)

Director: Brilliant! Just brilliant, Kain! Turel, why did you forget your lines?

Turel: Well, I was looking in the audience and saw all those fan girls gazing at me with hungry eyes and the alcohol had made me forget a couple of things and loosened my tongue as well so-

Dumah: Shut up!

Director: Yes, be quiet. Janos, Malek! You two are up next in three minutes, be ready! (Walks off to check on Ariel and comes across an unconscious Zephon lying on the ground) Oh, crap! Anamae!

Anamae: What, madam director?

Director: Zephon tied his corset too tight; loosen it for him!

Anamae: Yes ma'am! Now's my chance to shine! And see his chest too. (Gives a devilish look)

(Off to Malek and Janos)

Malek: Me me me, di so fa la ti so! Testing, one, two, three. Sing high, sing low. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Janos: You don't need that to help you, Malek. Everyone can hear your voice just the way you are.

Malek: Did you just insult me?

Janos: No, I didn't. I am just saying…Malek, put the sword away. Don't stalk towards me like that. Get away from me. I have a court order for you to stay at least ten feet away from me at all time Malek! Oh shit! (Runs away from the Sarafan commander, leg still hurting slightly. Melchiah watches on but does nothing)

(In the audience)

Nupraptor: Excuse me, coming through. Sorry, if you will just move…Pardon me madam. Not my fault, please don't hit me with your purse - ouch! Mobieus! Did you save my seat? (The Guardian of the Mind sits down beside the Guardian of Time, who is holding some popcorn, three sodas and about fives boxes of Twix) So, did I miss anything?

Mobieus: Nothing yet, except for those vampires skipping a few lines and such.

Nupraptor: Has Ariel come up yet?

Mobieus: She's in the next scene. Where have you been?

Nupraptor: Buying myself some treats. Do you want a sip of my soda? Twix?

Mobieus: No, I rather-Damn it Nupraptor! (The overflowing bag of popcorn with the hot butter has spilled onto the old man's lap)

Nupraptor: Whatever. You didn't see that coming, Mr. I Control Time? (Receives a whack over the head from Mobieus' staff and is knocked out)

Mobieus: Now I'll never get my suit cleaned!