Director: All right, now everyone get into his or her respective places. I want no foul ups here; this scene must go off on the proper foot. Malek, get your behind over here and Janos, stop flying about! You're going to get tangled in the ropes. Narrator?

Anamae: Yes?

Director: Well, get out there and introduce the audience to the next scene! (Takes a VERY big puff of smoke and then expels it) Ariel, you get ready as well. For God's sake, someone get Zephon to his feet.

(Anamae walks onto the stage, while in the dark background and behind the curtain the stage crew is mobbing about the scenery, trying to get it up. Spotlight comes on)

Anamae: And now we introduce to you, audience, to the Capulet household. Juliet, a young and tender girl, is of marrying age and many suitors court her. What will happen next, you ask? Now we ask you to be quiet, once again refrain from attacking your hated foes and mortal enemies, and enjoy the show. (Takes out a water pistol and hits Moebius with it when the old man leers at her again and gives her the thumbs up sign, then exits the stage)

(Curtain rises, showing the white halls of the Capulet mansion with Janos/Lord Capulet walking down the walkway with Malek/Count Paris beside him. A servant walks behind, a little kid that looks no older than ten. Both Seraphim and Sarafan begin to cheer for their respective leaders. Popcorn flies through the air along with soda from the vampires to shut them up)

Janos: (Makes a theatrical sigh and begins his speech) But Montague is bound as well as I, in penalty alike; and 'tis not hard, I think, for men so old as us to keep the peace.

Malek: (Gives a look to Janos of pure evil and makes a slash across his throat that was most defiantly uncalled for in the script) Of honourable reckoning are you both and pity 'tis you lived at odds so long. But now, my lord, what say you to my question of before?

Janos: But saying o'er what I have said before:
My child is yet a stranger in the world;
She hath not seen the change of fourteen years,
Let two more summers wither in their pride,
Ere we may think her ripe to be a bride.

Malek: Younger than she are happy mothers made. I have seen girls of Juliet's age already with children, and so wish to have a family of my own.

Vampire from the crowd: THAT IS SO WRONG!!! (Gets pelted with candy by the Sarafan)

Janos: And too soon marr'd are those so early made.
The earth hath swallow'd all my hopes but she,
She is the hopeful lady of my earth:
But woo her, gentle Paris, get her heart,
My will to her consent is but a part;
An she agree, within her scope of choice
Lies my consent and fair according voice.
This night I hold an old accustom'd feast,
Whereto I have invited many a guest,
Such as I love; and you, among the store,
One more, most welcome, makes my number more.
At my poor house look to behold this night
Earth-treading stars that make dark heaven light:
Such comfort as do lusty young men feel
When well-apparell'd April on the heel
Of limping winter treads, even such delight
Among fresh female buds shall you this night
Inherit at my house; hear all, all see,
And like her most whose merit most shall be:
Which on more view, of many mine being one
May stand in number, though in reckoning none,
Come, go with me.

(Nupraptor leans over to Mobieus)

Nupraptor: (loudly speaking) What the hell does he mean by that?

Mobieus: He's going to hold a feast and let Juliet see Paris for the first time, just to see how they get along. God, don't you listen to a single word? Watch the soda!

Nupraptor: Whatever.

Some Seraphim seated behind them: Shush!

Nupraptor: Shush yourself!

Other Seraphim: Oh, both of you pipe down! I want to hear this nice story.

Nupraptor: Shush yourself, you stupid winged being! (Mobieus rolls his eyes and covers his ears as best as he can. Out of all the people of Nosgoth, the idiot had to sit right next to him)

(Back onstage; Janos gives the young actor a piece of paper, turning his back to Malek. The Sarafan commander tries VERY hard not to draw his blade and run Janos through, even if in the audience the Sarafan are giving the go-ahead)

Janos: Go, sirrah, trudge about
Through fair Verona; find those persons out
Whose names are written there, and to them say,
My house and welcome on their pleasure stay.

Servant boy: Okay, mister. I'll go and tell the guests everything they need to know.

(Runs off-stage and Malek with Janos exit. A horrible crash is then heard off-stage and a few black feathers fill the air. Curtain falls, backdrops are changed, and then the curtain rises again. Servant boy walking along a busy street)

Servant boy: Okay, I've got the fishermen, the tailors, the tanners and the weavers. Check this person off, as well as this one and these two down here. And here and here and here. I don't know these people because I can't understand the writing so I'll just pass them off as sick or maimed.

(Director slaps her forehead from backstage; the boy is not even remotely speaking Shakespearian English. Enter Kain with a new 'Benvolio' actor since Dumah killed the other one)

Benvolio: (Actor looks terrified and hope he doesn't end up the same way as his predecessor) Tut, man, one fire burns out another's burning,
One pain is lessen'd by another's anguish;
Turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning;
One desperate grief cures with another's languish:
Take thou some new infection to thy eye,
And the rank poison of the old will die. (Winces as he waits for the blow that will surely take his head off his shoulders)

Kain: Your plaintain-leaf is excellent for that.

Benvolio: Pray, for what my lord?

Kain: For your broken shin.

Benvolio: Are you mad, Romeo? You're always mad!

Kain: Not mad, but bound more than a mad-man is;
Shut up in prison, kept without my food,
Whipp'd and tormented and--God-den, good fellow. (Stares down at the servant boy and licks his lips. Kain remembered he had forgotten to feed before coming onstage)

Servant boy: Good day, sirs! Excuse me for asking, mister vampire with the hungry look in his eyes, but can you read?

Kain: Ay, mine own fortune in my misery.

Servant boy: Okay, whatever that means. Who are these people and where can I find them? Here. (Points at the paper)

Kain: 'Signior Martino and his wife and daughters;
County Anselme and his beauteous sisters; the lady
widow of Vitravio; Signior Placentio and his lovely
nieces; Mercutio and his brother Valentine; mine
uncle Capulet, his wife and daughters; my fair niece
Rosaline; Livia; Signior Valentio and his cousin
Tybalt, Lucio and the lively Helena.' A fair
assembly: whither should they come?

Servant boy: Umm…I forgot!

(Backstage the director is bashing her forehead on the ground. Why did she cast that child anyway?!)

Benvolio: You can't remember? Maybe it's at the C-A-P-U-L-E-T-S household.

Kain: (Whispering) You idiot, the boy really can't read. How the hell can he spell then if he never even went to basic grammar school? (Turns to child) Did this come from a noble house?

Servant boy: OH YEAH! Now I remember. This came from the Capulets! The dad wants to throw a big party of sorts and wants all the people to come. There will be tons of food and enough drink for everyone! Except the Montagues, but if you're not one of them, then you're welcome to stop by! Thank you and see you later!!!

(Rushes off-stage, hits something and a few female actors in the back changing rooms scream)

Benvolio: At this same ancient feast of Capulet's
Sups the fair Rosaline whom thou so lovest,
With all the admired beauties of Verona:
Go thither; and, with unattainted eye,
Compare her face with some that I shall show,
And I will make thee think thy swan a crow.

Kain: When the devout religion of mine eye
Maintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;
And these, who often drown'd could never die,
Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars!
One fairer than my love! the all-seeing sun
Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun.

(Fan girls sigh and start fainting again. And again and again and again – really, they're going down like flies)

Benvolio: Tut, you saw her fair, none else being by,
Herself poised with herself in either eye:
But in that crystal scales let there be weigh'd
Your lady's love against some other maid
That I will show you shining at this feast,
And she shall scant show well that now shows best.

Kain: I'll go along, no such sight to be shown,
But to rejoice in splendour of mine own.

(Both walk off-stage and Scene 2 is finished. Of course as Kain looks for the young boy for 'supper' he sees the director throttling him, Melchiah, Rahab, Zephon and Anamae playing poker for candy and money, actors rushing about in costumes or lack of, and the ever-present sound and lights coordinators. Still no sign of Ariel)

Kain: Damn, she missed my performance! But the next scene will come, a come very soon! I will show her just how serious I truly feel about the former Guardian of Balance and-

Raziel: Uh, Kain, her boyfriend is in the audience. See? (Points through the curtain to Nupraptor, who is in a shushing war with a Seraphim or three)

Kain: But I beheaded him! That's impossible!!!

Raziel: Not impossible to the authoress.

Kain: (Rolls up his sleeves and walked over to Anamae) We'll see about that!