Chichiri, Emperor of Konan(and other insanity), no da!
by
Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit
Notes from the cabbit: I do not support animal cruelty! It was the Nyan Nyan's ideal to give Tama the saké in this chapter!
Chapter 5: Hot Springs, no da!
After a long night of watching Star Wars, just to get Hotohori to understand how Anakin was born, the seishi, the two authors, and the Nyan Nyan finally went to bed. The rooms were assigned as follows:
Room 1: Miaka and Nuriko
Room 2: Tama-chan and Tamahome
Room 3: Hotohori and Himeko
Room 4: Tasuki and 3 Nyan Nyan
Room 5: Chichiri, and some Clow Cards to protect Chichiri
Room 6: Mitsuake, Chiriko, and Tama
Since Taitsuukun is weird, everyone on Rooms 1-3 shared at bed, which got Himeko thinking. "This would be great inspiration for a yuri fic," she said.
Hotohori blinked. "But I thought you were anti-yuri and anti-yaoi," he said.
Himeko shrugged. "I am, but a yuri fic would be perfect for getting Miaka and Nuriko to leave Chiri-chan alone," she said.
As the odd noises from Room 2 got louder, Hotohori glanced over at Himeko, who was now asleep, and was about to make his move, when..
WHACK! Hotohori got hit in the head with a hammer.
"If you don't want your head bashed in, I suggest you stay on your side of the bed," Himeko said.
Let's skip what's going on in Room 2, and move on to Room 1…
Nuriko silently cursed under his breath as Miaka snored in her sleep. "Damn Taitsuukun…" he muttered. "Putting me in the same room as the baka." He got up and headed for the door, hoping to hunt down Chichiri. He had just touched the doorknob, when…
ZZAAP! 10,000 volts of electricity shocked Nuriko. As he lay there, twitching, Taitsuukun appeared.
"I told you I didn't want you running around a few hours ago!" she exclaimed. "What makes you think I want you running around now!?"
Nuriko didn't respond, as he had been paralyzed by all that electricity.
Over in Room 4…
"Where's my saké!?" Tasuki asked.
The Nyan Nyan looked at each other nervously, then one finally responded. "Anou…we fed it to Tama," she said.
"Nani!? That was a one million yen bottle of saké!" Tasuki exclaimed. "Where's Tama!?"
"Right here!" the Nyan Nyan said, holding up a rather drunk Tama.
"Meowwww…*hic*" the cat said.
"ARRGHH! You'd better cough up that saké!" Tasuki yelled, and opened the cat's mouth, trying to get him to cough up the saké. Just then, Mitsuake's voice came from behind the door.
"Oi! What are you doing to Tama!?" he yelled.
Tasuki quickly gave the cat back to the Nyan Nyan, who in turn set it back on the ground. Just then, Mitsuake came in, and found Tama stumbling around, drunk.
"Iie! What did you do to Tama!? Who did this!?" Mitsuake exclaimed. Tasuki pointed at the Nyan Nyan, who in turn pointed at Tasuki. Mitsuake dropkicked the Nyan Nyan to the moon.
Ookay, moving right along, we'll stop in Room 5…
Chichiri was hiding under his bed, fearful of what Miaka and Nuriko would do to him if they found him. "I'm okay, no da. They can't hurt me here, no da," he told himself.
The next morning, both Tasuki and Tama had major hangovers, Himeko was still refusing to do anything with Hotohori that would move the story's rating up to NC-17, Nuriko was still twitching every now and then while trying to recover from the electrical shock the night before, Miaka was half-asleep, Chichiri was hiding in the shadows, Chiriko was reading a porno magazine, and so on. Once again, Tasuki encountered the Nyan Nyan.
"We know a cure for hangovers!" one of the girls said.
"And other things…" another said, looking in the direction of Tamahome and Tama-chan.
"Really?" Mitsuake asked, hoping for a way to cure Tama of his hangover.
The first Nyan Nyan nodded. "Hai! The hot springs!" she said.
Tama-chan grinned. "Let's go, Tamahome!" she said, and ran off, dragging Tamahome away.
Everyone else took their time getting there, and when they finally arrived, they crowded into the two bathhouses to change. Both the men and the ladies wore towels, especially Nuriko, who still trying to convince everyone he was female, and Himeko, even though she was wearing a bathing suit. Tama-chan and Tamahome, on the other hand, were completely naked.
"Like a virgin, hey! Touched for the very first time!" Tama-chan sang, moving Tamahome's hand across her body. She moved her own hand across Tamahome's body (Kami-sama…why did I ever ask her for ideas? –_-). "Like a virgin. When your heart beats next to mine!" She then proceeded to move closer, but Tamahome broke free and ran. "Matte, Tamahome! You said you wanted lots of sons! I can produce lots of sons!" Tama-chan said, chasing him. Tamahome continued running, and stepped on Nuriko, who was trying to drown Chichiri, in the process. Tama-chan also stepped on Nuriko.
Miaka decided to finish the job of drowning Chichiri. She was just about to push him underwater, when…
"Come on, Tama, into the water. It'll cure your hangover," Mitsuake said, trying to get the cat in the water. As soon as one paw touched the water…
"MEEEOOOOW!" Tama screeched, and jumped away to land on Miaka's face. The cat then proceeded to claw the Suzaku no Miko.
"AHH!" Miaka screamed, trying to get the cat off of her.
Throughout all of this, in a separate spring, a group of Nyan Nyan were swimming, wearing bathing suits, and wearing floatation devices on their arms.
"Marco!" One of them shouted.
"Polo!" the others shouted.
A few minutes later, they were washing each other's backs. "Clean, clean, clean…" they sang. They then noticed the commotion going on over at the other spring. Armed with scrubbing brushes and soap, they went over there. "Clean, clean, clean…make everything clean…" they sang. They stopped in front of Tama-chan and Tamahome. "We'll clean your dirty minds!" they said.
"She's the one with the dirty mind!" Tamahome said, pointing at Tama-chan.
"Hai, demo, you did dirty things together," the Nyan Nyan said.
Tama-chan was mad. "Why…how dare you!" she said.
WHACK! Tama-chan sent the Nyan Nyan to the moon to join the others.
To be continued…