(Waiting in like at the food booths are three guardians of the Pillars, along with too many vampires, Sarafan and Seraphim to count just because I am one lazy authoress...and my math is less than stellar)

Bane: All right Dejoule, let's go and get some popcorn, but none of that soda because I always pay for it.

Dejoule: Very well. But I want to know how that bitch Ariel managed to get the part of Juliet when I wasn't able to? (Shoe comes out of nowhere and hits the Guardian of Energy on her head; sounds of Kain laughing are heard)

Mortanius: That was not of my doing.

Bane: Why didn't you try out when you had the chance? They had posters and flyers strewn all over Nosgoth for the past month; no one could have missed it. Washroom stalls, inside newspapers, on 50 foot billboards, and even bunnies handing out the flyers.  But then you were in Dark Eden playing around with Anacrothe so-

Dejoule: Oh shut the hell up! (Taps the Sarafan in front of her) Buddy, why isn't the line moving?

Random Sarafan: Because the guy at the head of the line cannot make up his mind on what to buy, lady. And I have waited just as long as you have and I am not moving!

Dejoule: Argh! Bane, go and see who's causing the damn stop in the line!

Bane: But I might lose my place in line!

Mortanius: We'll hold it for you.

Bane: Yeah right, just as you single-handedly conspired to kill us all. (Dejoule gives Bane a very dangerous look) Fine, FINE! I'm going! (stomps off)

Mortanius: You have quite a way with people, Dejoule.

(Bane walks past the large and long line, which stretches from the entrance doors of the theatre and winds around the halls, stairs and more halls that lead off to other places and…it was a long walk for the Druid but he finally got to the head of the line, where standing there was the authoress' own brainchild, Suzu as well as the jumping vampire Faustus ^-^)

Suzu: Hmm, should I have the popcorn with the cheese or the Puff Power Pocky? So many decisions, so many decisions and so many delicious treats to chose from as well. They never had any of these treats when I was a little kid. We have shaved ice with juice in it...

Bane: Hey, just make your choice and get out of here you stupid girl. We want to eat as well.

Suzu: (Looks at Bane) Well, if it isn't the I'm-so-high-and-mighty Bane the Druid. Listen, buddy, I paid for my own ticket and I have a right to stand here for as long as I possible want to choose my treats, okay!

Faustus: Suzu, just get the Pocky and let's leave. I really do not want you to start a fight that I have to save you from again.

Suzu: No Fausty, we can stay as long as we want to! And now to decide on some liquid refreshment! (The crowd groans)

Faustus: Please don't call me that. Now what are you doing?

Suzu: Comparing prices of the donuts. The ones with sprinkles are about 50 cents more.

(Groans from the line. The cashier, King William the Just, coughs politely)

William: Look ma'am, I have over three hundred other people to serve and I am going to ask you to move along nicely or else I will have to use brute force and my skill with a sword against you.

Faustus: Well, we all know where that got you. (Gives a wicked grin to William, then grabs Suzu by the arm) We're leaving kid!

Suzu: NO!!!! Not yet, not until I get my root beer and a glazed donut! I am over 6,000 years old and I demand to be treated with more respect that what you are showing me, Faustus! Lemme go!

Elzevir the Doll maker: Just shove her to the ground and we'll walk over her! (People begin to yell; a mob might be forming very soon)

William: (Sighing) It just had to come to this. (Turns to a large figure stacking food in the back of the booths) Hash'ak'git!

Hash'ak'git: Wot? (Turns to look at Suzu who is kicking her feet and making a scene. Of course she stops when she sees the demon looking at her) Is there a problem?

Bane: Oh shit-

Faustus: I wipe myself clean of this fight. (Runs off to his seat)

Suzu: Yeah, there is a problem, demon boy. I want to buy myself a donut but everyone is telling me to move along; there's still twenty minutes left for this intermission and I want my food! Hey watch my wings, watch my wings! I love them dearly!

(Suzu is picked up by Hash'ak'git and thrown across the long hall and back into the theatre where she becomes embedded in the left wing; Bane decides that running back to warn Mortanius and Dejoule of this is the best thing for him to do. Now the line may move on without a certain perky half human/Seraphim holding up the line)

William: I feel like I have done justice's work today.

Hash'ak'git: Just you watch it, king! I may be the labour here, but I can still possess you.

William: (Meekly) Yes, sir. Next please! Oh god, not you!

Zephon: What?!

William: You aren't going to try and talk me to death, are you? I have heard that even in real life you want to talk on and on about yourself and how great you are in comparison to everyone else.

Zephon: (Grumbling) What an idiot! It seems you already know about me so why the hell should I introduce myself. Now hurry up and give me a chocolate milkshake, my high heels are killing me! (Receives it) Thanks for nothing, Nemesis bastard!

William: Hey, I heard that! I was duped, I tell you, duped into being the Nemesis!

* * *

Kain: All right Ariel, I admit that perhaps I should not of tried to touch you, but as I was saying I was going to tap you on the back before you whirled around! I had no intention of touching your breast! I am not a horny vampire!

Ariel: (Disgusted) Yes you are! You were planning to touch me there all along, you sick puppy!

Dumah: FIGHT!

Kain & Ariel: Shut up! (Dumah walks off to torment Melchiah)

Kain: Well what are you going to do about it, Ariel? Your boyfriend is still out cold and can't do anything at all without going to pieces and you can't hit me!

Ariel: I can walk off the play right now. (Silence fills the wings; actors have stopped moving and the crew looks at the two)

Anamae: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! (Runs up to the two in chibi form, waving arms around wildly) You can't do that, Ariel! We still have four more Acts to go! Kain, for once in your life stop being so high and mighty and just admit that you wanted to touch Ariel's breast like the horny vampire that you are! Urk!

(Kain picks up the young authoress by the neck and throws her across the backstage, where she lands into the wall. Suzu has just managed to get herself out and looks at the director-for-the-moment)

Suzu: Problems?

Anamae: Yes...

Suzu: Need any help?

Anamae: Morphine and a drip, please…

Suzu: I'll be back. (Walks off and leaves the poor authoress on the ground in agony)

Vorador: She had it coming to her.

Umah: Oh so are you saying you support Kain for throwing a child across the room when she was trying to break up a fight on sexual harassment?

Vorador: Well, I was merely saying that she was going to get it sooner or later. And with Ariel wearing that dress it's like she wants to be touched there.

Umah: I can't even believe I am having this conversation with you. How can you possibly think that Ariel wants to be touched like that; it's the costume! I am wearing the exact same thing so does that make you want to touch my breast?

Vorador: It is tempting…

Umah: I don't think so. (Kicks Vorador in the head with her high heeled shoes, and then walks off. Suzu walks by Vorador)

Suzu: Man, she really wasted you. Need anything?

Vorador: …mom-mommy?

Suzu: Whatever. Hey Janos, where can I find morphine?

Janos: I know not what you speak of, little girl.

Suzu: Hey, I'm older than you, Janos so you can't call me a little girl! Malek, do you know where I could find a drip?

Malek: Yeah, just go and take a look at yourself! (Goes back to talking to a group of Sarafan who are holding a bunch of maps and hit lists in their hands) Now the one called Turel might be tricky, but all we have to do is get a young maiden, dangle her in front of him and he'll walk right into the trap! After we behead him, we go after the ugly one there, Melchiah. To get him we will need…

Suzu: That was uncalled for! (Sees Rahab and runs after him) Rahab!

(As this is all happening, Dumah and Raziel are the only ones watching the unconscious director; Raziel slapping her cheek from time to time and Dumah applying the cold compresses)

Raziel: I can't believe tried to touch Ariel's breast!

Dumah: Who cares? We can't have her walking out on us because without a Juliet I don't get to fight you later on and change the whole script!

Raziel: Don't tell me you're still going to try and kill Romeo, even when it calls for you to die?

Dumah: Damn straight. And after I kill Romeo, Tybalt will claim the throne from the Prince and rule all of 'Italy' as it is called. Pretty sweet, huh?

Raziel: You are just weird. Hey, the director it moving! The play can be saved yet! (Turns to the woman) Lady wake up, wake up!

Director: (Groggily and with a vacant look in her eyes) How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon, son?

Dumah: Oh, I know the answer! I know! Three and a half?

(Director gives the two a sleepy look, then falls back once again unconscious)

Raziel: That's it we're screwed. No hope for us now, no hope!

Dumah: Could be worse.

Raziel: Worse? How the bloody hell could it get any worse?

Dumah: Malek might be planning to kill the whole vampire cast right now.

Raziel: I. Think. He. Is.

(Inside Ariel's dressing room)

Ariel: Of all the nerve, touching me like that! It is not enough that he has damned me to haunt the Pillar of Balance (looks over at the Pillar that had to be dragged to the theatre) but now Kain tries to grab at me! Is there no justice for a ghost?

Little girl's voice: I don't think so!

Ariel: Who's there?

Little girl's voice: I'm right here!

(Ariel turns to see a little princess standing in front of her, looking oh-so-sweet)

Ariel: And who are you?

Princess: Yeesh, no one knows anything! I'm the princess from the first Blood Omen game, the one whose soul was turned into a doll for a brief time! And I am saying that you have a little bit more justice than me because the writers never even gave me a name in the whole story! Do you know what that's like? Being a no-name character?

Ariel: You don't have a horny vampire coming onto you, or a director that has been knocked out or even a cast that is so weird that I know before this night is over the play will flop and the Nosgoth Theatre house will be burned to the ground. Not to mention an authoress that wants to try and pair me with Kain!

Princess: Maybe she has a reason why she's doing that!

Ariel: Why?

Princess: Don't look at me I'm only twelve. You'll have to go and ask Anamae! I hear my daddy calling me; it was very nice meeting you, Miss Ariel.

(Princess runs out of the dressing room. Ariel decides to go and see Anamae, who at the moment is receiving a damn huge amount of morphine for the pain from Suzu. Ariel doesn't look very happy as she floats above the ground; all the coolness and cryptic verses are gone and it looks like she'll start screaming when Anamae starts fighting her over what the authoress can and cannot do)

Ariel: Director-in-charge, I want a word with you!

Anamae: Okay. I guess you want to talk about Kain and you and how I am always trying to put you together, huh?

Ariel: (Shocked) But how did you know?

Anamae: I am writing this, lady, so of course I know everything before it's going to happen. Thanks Suzu, you can go now! (Waves goodbye to her brainchild, who sits back down next to Faustus, then turns back to Ariel) Now where were we?

Ariel: About me and Kain and the pairing. If you don't already know, I already have a love: Nupraptor!

Anamae: Well, he did pollute the Circle when you were trying to cleanse it, so I don't think that's really going to work out between you two even now. Kain tried to fix everything up and I can say that when you say him for the first time, you were all 'Man is he cute!' And Kain was! You guys always bicker and I know that the best relationships are when the two lovers always fight so you guys are already there!

Ariel: That doesn't make any sense!

Anamae: I might not be making much sense because of the morphine. (Points to the drip) And what about the time Kain was a wounded fledgling and he was bleeding at the base of the Pillars because of a fight? You held him in your arms and healed him, all the while singing this song: As I lay me down to sleep, I will hold you dear and I will pray-

Ariel: Shut up! You can't possibly know anything about that! You can't!

Anamae: Well, I know! You also tried to give him good advice and he actually takes it from time to time, but he would NEVER admit it! Kain was the one who places the freshly cut roses in front of your Pillar every morning, Ariel! He also composes poetry of you in his off time, which is quite a bit and let me tell you-

Ariel: SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!

Anamae: But I'm just getting started!!!! There's a whole bunch of other reasons why I am trying to pair you guys together! The pain factor, the immortality factor, the factor of all factors-

Ariel: AHHHHHHH!!!! (Flies away as quickly as possible, covering her ears to drown out the authoress' voice)

(Meanwhile)

Kain: Oh god the whole performance will be ruined and all because of me! Why did I do that, why? (Sitting out on the roof of the Theatre house and basically beating himself up over what he did. Ariel comes flying out of the side door at that moment and floats, crying, over to the edge of the building)

Ariel: (Sees Kain) Oh gods, why don't you just go away and leave me alone!

Kain: I was here first Ariel, so you can just go and leave me alone! (Silence between the two. Finally Kain speaks) So will you really be leaving the play?

Ariel: With you always pestering me, I think I should. You can't ever respect anyone, you know that, Kain! That is your one problem: You give no respect to anyone! It's always 'Me, me, me' and never anyone else!

Kain: Gee, and this is from a person who manipulated me when I was a young and inexperienced man! You were thinking of yourself the whole time too, Ariel, so you cannot point fingers in my direction!

Ariel: If you had killed yourself right from the beginning, then none of this would of happened. I did not want to become a ghost to be bound to the Pillars, to never go beyond where all dead people are supposed to go! You have kept me there, bound by your selfishness.

Kain: Because I don't want to be alone!!! (Gaps, mouth wide open then closes it and turns away in a huff. Ariel gives him a look)

Ariel: Afraid of being alone?

Kain: Yeah, well I'm the only Pillar and I don't have anyone to turn to who could teach me what to do except you so I kept you to the Pillars so that I won't be alone! I…sorry I tried to touch your breast, Ariel.

Ariel: You said you were sorry. I don't expect that from a person like you, Kain.

Kain: Well, you'll never hear that again and if you tell anyone, then I'll- (Looks at Ariel with a sort of defeated expression, she giving him one filled for the first time with a look of pity and compassion. The two move towards each other)

(And then Melchiah comes in through the door at that moment, breaking the scene)

Melchiah: Act 2 is about to begin! The authoress/director says that if you guys don't get down soon then she'll take over your roles and with the way she's doped up on all that morphine I think she just might actually do it…am I disturbing something? (Quickly walks back the way he came, holding his skirt up high to show enough leg to scare anyone)

Kain: (Extends hand) Well, two more acts to go. Care to join me then?

Ariel: (Shakes hand) Very well, but don't get use to this treatment.