Chichiri, Emperor of Konan, no da!
by
Suzaku no Miko Copy cabbit…err I mean Rikku oh Ki
and
random authors, but not for this chapter
Notes from the cabbit: Konyanananichiwa! Copy cabbit here! My penname may be Rikku oh Ki, but I'll always be Copy cabbit! Nobody's reviewin' anymore? Where did you all go? *searches* Hm…anywho…some answers:
shadow priestess: I know, the Nyan Nyan didn't need any weaponry, but I had to put them in somewhere…oh, and you'll appear in this chapter…K-chan's powers will be shown, too.
Chapter 9: Tasuki's funeral and secret powers revealed, no da!
"Tasuki…*sniff*…why did you have to get in the way!?" both K-chan and Omi exclaimed. Neither of the girls were speaking to each other, which was not surprising, considering how just a day ago, they were plotting the other's death. Everyone was gathered in some random cathedral or church or whatever they had back then. Tasuki, who was dead, of course, much to the dislike of all the loyal Tasuki fans who love how he's one of the only remaining seishi at the end of the series (but then again, I'm going against what Watase-sama had planned anyway, so why not kill off Tasuki?), was in a closed coffin, considering the amount of bullet holes in him, thanks to the Nyan Nyan…. K-chan was latched onto her new husband, Amiboshi, who unwillingly married the insane fangirl, and Omi was standing off to one corner, giving K-chan a very hateful look. She would have gone ahead and killed K-chan, mind you, but thanks to Chiri-chan, she was blocked by a magical force field.
*flashback*
*A few hours earlier, Chichiri is watching the two fangirls duke it out. Suddenly, Quatra from Gundam Wing shows up…*
Quatra: Fighting is wrong!
K-chan: Who cares? *casts Ultima on Quatra*
Quatra: WAAAHHHHHH! I want my mommy! *runs off*
K-chan: Wimp…
Chichiri: ^.^; Da…I guess I should do something, no da…
*End Flashback*
"Heh…just you wait, Ki-chan…" Omi said, "I'll get my revenge. Nobody takes my Gen-chan away from me and lives to tell the tale…"
Meanwhile, Nuriko, Chiriko, and Mitsukake were hiding out in Washuu's laboratory. How they got there is anyone's guess.
"So, um…Washuu-sama-" Nuriko started
"-Washuu-chan," the mad scientist corrected.
Nuriko sweatdropped. "Er…Washuu-chan…"
"Much better…" Washuu said.
"Anou…how much longer do you think we have to hide?" Nuriko asked.
Washuu shrugged. " Well…taking into consideration the axis of the earth, not to mention how many hours are in a day, and also taking into consideration how many fangirls are out
there…"
"Well?" Chiriko asked.
"I have no idea!" Washuu stated. The three seishi promptly facefaulted. Two Chibi Washuus appeared on her shoulders.
"You can do it, Washuu!"
Chibi A cheered.
"Show them what you've got, Washuu!"
Chibi B chimed in.
Washuu laughed, in her own freaky
way. "I am the most powerful scientific genius in the galaxy, after
all!" she said.
Back in Konan, in the palace
gardens, Hime-chan was with Hotohori, who was still pleading to well…you know what
I mean.
"Please?" Hotohori
pleaded.
"Not on yer life,"
Hime-chan said.
"Life's too short. Let's just do it now. Tama-chan and Tamahome are doing it quite well," Hotohori said, pointing over to where Tama-chan was raping Tamahome.
"Help!!" Tamahome yelled.
Hime-chan sweatdropped, then regained her composure. "Well, that's them, this is us, and I say iie," she said.
Unknown to the two, Houka was making her way through the gardens to where Hotohori and Hime-chan were. "Just you wait, Hime-chan," she said, "I know so much about
you, Hotohori is going to come running to me, just begging for me to be his wife…" Unfortunately for Houka, Taiitsukun was nearby.
"And just what the hell do you think you're doing!?" Taiitsukun exclaimed.
"Trying to make life the way Watase-sama intended," Houka replied.
"You're a bit too late for that," Taiitsukun said.
"Says who, old hag!?" Houka challenged
"That's it! You're the second person to call me an old hag since this fic began!" Taiitsukun exclaimed. She thought for a second, and then snapped her fingers. "Chichiri, come forward now!" she said.
A few seconds later, Chichiri appeared, Suzuran in tow.
"Ahem…Chichiri?" Taiitsukun started.
"Hai, no da?" the now timid monk asked.
"Why do you have a rabid fangirl attached to you?"
"I have no clue, no da…"
Suzuran unattached herself from the silver-haired monk and glared at Taiitsukun. "Who're you callin' rabid, old hag!?" she asked.
Chichiri started to get nervous. "Anou…it's not good to get Taiitsukun mad, no da…" he said.
"She called me rabid!" Suzuran exclaimed.
"Datte…"
"Datte nothin'! She's gonna pay!" Suzuran said, and turned into her demon form. Chichiri ran
for the cover of some nearby bushes, ready to teleport away should the fight get out of hand. Houka, bored by all of this, walked right past the three and proceeded onto the gardens, ready to reveal Hime-chan's identity.
When she got there, Hime-chan was still refusing to do…anou…whatever ye wanna call it…with Hotohori, depsite the fact that he was now giving her puppy-dog eyes.
"Onegai?"
"Iie! Stop that!"
"Onegai?"
"Hoto-chan, I swear, if ye don't shut yer mouth-"
"You'll do what?" Houka asked. Hime-chan stopped, and glared at Houka.
"Shouldn't you be in some kind of endless void somewhere?" Hime-chan asked.
"Shouldn't you be off with the Radical Dreamers somewhere?" Houka replied.
"Nani? The Radical Dreamers?" Hotohori asked, confused. Houka simply smirked.
Haven't you heard? Hime-chan
is actually Ki-chan from the Radical Dreamers," she said.
"That's Princess Hoseki Ryu Morino to ye," Hime...err, Ki-chan said.
Hotohori looked first at Ki-chan, then at Houka, very confused. "I don't get it," he said," What's going on?"
Ki-chan shrugged, and pointed at Houka. "Why don't you ask Miss High and Mighty over there?" she suggested.
Oh, I think we all know very well what's going on," Houka said. You're a fraud, and I'm here to prove it. Watase-sama had always intended for me to marry Hotohori, and I'm not going to let you mess up her plans any further.
"Go right ahead and try," Ki-chan said, getting out her hammer. One wrong step, and I'm gonna perform me ultimate attack, Eternal Nightmare," she said.
Houka laughed. "Oh, I'm so scared. What are you going to do? Hit me with that poor excuse for a hammer?" she asked.
Ki-chan grinned "Well, now that ya mentioned it, maybe I just will," she said. She raised her
hammer, and charged towards Houka. Cat's Cradle!" she shouted, performing one of her grandmother's original Additions (What were all of Meru's Additions? I can't access my LoD files….T_T)
Anou…meanwhile, in Washuu's lab…
As the remaining unmarried seishi hid out in Washuu's lab, Nuriko suddenly remembered something.
"Hey! I just remembered something!" he started. He turned to his friends. We still haven't
gotten revenge on Chichiri!"
"Why do we need to get revenge on Chichiri?" Chiriko asked.
Nuriko facefaulted. "Anou…have you been living under a rock!? It's his fault this whole mess
started!" he exclaimed.
"Oh yeah…" Chiriko said. He picked up a porno magazine. "This is a very interesting book," he said.
Everyone sweatdropped.
Back in the random church or cathedral, Chichiri's force-field had worn off, giving Omi the perfect chance to get revenge on K-chan. "Hehe…it's showtime…" she said. She started to charge at K-chan, but was stopped when she was hit with a pretty charged up Ultima spell. "What the f***!" she exclaimed.
"Did you really think I was so stupid, I wouldn't notice that the force field had vanished?" K-chan asked. She shook her head. "No, I'm way smarter than that…" She held out one hand, and a black mage's staff appeared in it. "But…if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you get," she said.
Omi grinned. "Then bring it on," she said.
K-chan returned the grin. "My pleasure."
Once again, the two fangirls started to duke it out, K-chan casting Holy and Omi casting Demi. This went on for quite awhile, considering that none of the passer-by wanted to be caught in the middle. Amiboshi himself was hiding behind Tasuki's coffin, hoping that the Nyan Nyan that killed Tasuki would come and stop the fight. After 3 hours, he realized nobody would come.
"Unless…" Amiboshi said, and got out a pen, writing on his arm.
'Help, Suboshi!' the message said.
"He'd better come soon," Amiboshi said to himself, "I don't want to end up like Tasuki!"
Meanwhile, in Kutaou or Kutou or wherever the hell the Seiryuu seishi live, Suboshi got the message.
"Aniki needs my help!" Suboshi said, and got up and ran out the palace doors, only to be met with a runaway cart, thanks to a Random Act of Cabbit.
"Ouch…" he moaned.
Back to Suzuran and Taiitsukun…
Suzuran and Taiitsukun had ended up in a glaring contest, and had been at it for three hours when Suzuran realized K-chan was fighting Omi.
"I gotta go and help fight! No way am I letting K-chan take all the glory!" Suzuran said. She grabbed the helpless monk. "Chiri-chan, teleport us to the church or cathedral or whatever it is NOW!" she yelled.
"H-hai, no da," Chichiri said, and using his kesa, transported the both of them to the random church/cathedral/whatever it is. Suzuran instantly ran forwards, casting Silence on Omi, then Death.
"That'll teach ya," Suzuran said as Omi turned into a bunch of pyreflies. She then turned to Chichiri, who was still shaking. "Oh Chiri-chan?" she asked sweetly.
"What now, no da?" Chichiri asked.
"Please perform a Sending. Wouldn't want her to become an Unsent and annoy us even more," Suzuran said.
"Nani!? What do I look like, a summoner! I can't!" Chichiri exclaimed.
Fortunately for him, he didn't have to, as thanks to a well-placed warp hole, not to mention the fact that fangirls never die, Omi got right back up, and jumped through the warp hole, never to be seen again, or at least for the rest of this chapter.
"Catch ya later!" Omi said, and disappeared.
"Shimatta!" Suzuran and K-chan exclaimed at the same time.
Back to the gardens…
Houka easily blocked the Cat's Cradle Addition, and was about to counterattack, when Taiitsukun showed back up.
"There you are!" Taiitsukun exclaimed. She glared at Houka. "Since you seem to have no respect for your elders, I shall teach you a lesson!" She then opened up the plothole in which Houka had come in. "Now go back to where you belong!"
And with that, Houka disappeared. (What's with all these people disappearing? Maybe Mulder and Scully should investigate this ^.^)
Taiitsukun turned back to Hotohori and Ki-chan. "Let that be a warning to anyone who even thinks of insulting me," she said, and then left.
To Be Continued…