(Backstage everyone is getting ready for the wedding of Romeo and Juliet. The costume that Ariel has to get dressed into was spared no expense thanks to the still-knocked-out directress. Made of the rare white silk of Mikitiki - a tropical island to the sound of Nosgoth - with the hem, neckline and the wrists studded with diamonds, a long train flows out behind the dress. Of course all the actresses and female work crews eye the dress, mentally noting that once Ariel has no more need of it they will steal it and get married in it. Ariel comes floating in from one of the many doors)

Ariel: (Sees the dress) Oh dear.

Anamae: (Pops up from nowhere) You like it, Ariel?! 'Cuz I sure do. When you get dressed up in this thing, I bet Kain, whose eyes were popping out before, will literally roll onto the floor.

Melchiah: (Walking by) Eww, that's gross.

Anamae: Hey, you skin people Melchiah so you can't point fingers. (Turns back to Ariel and sees the vacant look in the ghost's one eye) Ariel, you okay? Ariel. (Snaps her fingers)

Ariel: -What?

Anamae: Just go and get changed. (Hands the wedding dress to Ariel and shoves her into a changing room) Now I have to go and check on Kain.

(At Kain's dressing room. Raziel and Turel are standing outside the closed door, trying to contain their laughter as best as they can while they hear Kain wrestle with his new costume within. Raziel's broken jaw has been fixed, but besides the bruise on his eye, he now has a lovely welt running along the left side of his face. Even with the make-up, his pretty face is quickly becoming something far less)

Kain: Damn it all!!! (Crashes and the sound of a rat being stepped on) Stupid boots, dumbass tights, get on!!!

Raziel: (Snickering) Hey dad, you sure you don't need any help?

Kain: (Through the door) NO!

Turel: You sound like you do, dad.

Kain: (Yelling through the door) I don't NEED any help! Ack, this damn collar frilly thing is trying to strangle me! Must I wear these white tights; they'll clash horribly with my white skin!

(More crashes and the sound of glass smashing can be heard easily as Anamae pushes past the two Lieutenants who are now laughing uncontrollably and knocks on the door)

Anamae: Kain, do you need some help?

Kain: No, I don't need any help.

Anamae: (Hears the cursing) It sounds like you do. You can't ruin the costume or else I'll have to pay for it! Damn it just let me come in and help you. (Opens the door and walks in; Kain gives a high girly scream as the door shuts behind Anamae)

Turel: (Pressing his ear to the door) I can't hear anything…wait I think I do…nope, my mistake, it was nothing.

Raziel: It's quiet in there. Do you think she killed him?

Turel: (Worried look) We better go and check it out!

(Both vampires kick down the massive door and rush in to save their father, the master vampire of all Nosgoth and who most likely has been subdued by a young girl. What they do see shocks and terrifies them, even more than the time they saw Vorador run around the streets of Meridian wearing a red Speedo. Kain is sitting down in a high-backed chair, wearing the usual 14th century costume, but the colour is pure white with gold piping around the shoulders and waist. He's also wearing the white tights with the ridiculously high black boots, and one again the puffy shirt. The look on the vampire's face is one of sheer annoyance, arms folded defiantly across his chest while Anamae is brushing his hair)

Raziel: --Dad? Dad, is that you?!

Kain: Shut up or else I'm going to make sure that I rip off your lower jaw entirely, Raziel, and perhaps most of your stomach too.

Turel: (Strained) CAN'T. HOLD. LAUGHTER. (Turns to Raziel) Excuse me.

(Turel runs quickly out of the room, down the halls of the theatre house, outside into the streets of the city, across the country, over the bridge heading south, runs past the Pillars and finally drops down near the ocean and begins to laugh crazily. Even from the theatre house, once can hear the second-eldest Lieutenant's laughter. Turel will not be back for quite a while)

Anamae: Okay, I've brushed your hair, applied the make-up and you're ready to go, Kain. Go and find Ariel. I have to see where Rahab and Zephon are, not to mention Janos and Malek. (Points a finger at Kain) But if you do ruin that costume, then I'll have your head on a pike!

(Anamae leaves)

Kain: Thank the dark gods, namely me. Raziel, go and make yourself useful. (Gets up and walks past his first-born)

Raziel: What the hell does he mean by that?

(As Kain walks down the halls looking for Ariel, the female cast and crew begin to follow the master vampire. After all, he IS dressed up for a wedding, he IS one of the most eligible bachelors in Nosgoth and the women are damn sure that after Ariel doesn't need that wedding dress anymore, one of THEM will take it and quickly get married to Kain. Of course he doesn't know all of this yet, but when Kain does become aware of these arrangements he'll do what he always does…runs from his problems)

Kain: (Walks up to Ariel's changing room) Ariel, you in there?

Ariel: (Voice muffled by the door) Yes. Don't come in or else I'll throw a pot at you.

Kain: I won't. What makes you think I will? Of course, it IS tempting. (Snickers)

Ariel: Oh no, you don't. (Opens the door and floats out, wearing the wedding dress. She looks at Kain and Kain looks at her) Well, you most certainly look…dashing.

Kain: (A red tinge comes to his pale features) And you look very…beautiful.

Cast & crew: Aaaawwwwwwwwww.

Ariel: Where the hell did them come from? Everyone, go away! Shoo!

Anamae: Picture time! (Pops in from nowhere, takes a picture of the two, then leaves before Kain can cut her apart with the Soul Reaver)

Vorador: (Talking to Umah) See, they make a good couple. Why don't you find a vampire to settle down with?

Umah: Because I have to run the Cabal, Vorador.

(Janos and Malek, who were fighting only moments before, look at Kain and Ariel)

Malek: Wow, they almost do look like the perfect couple. Perhaps there is hope; where a world can be created where vampires and humans can co-exist side by side.

Janos: Do you really think so, Malek? I believe it is about time someone else realized that besides Lord Turel and me.

Malek: What?! I'm joking, you stupid Ancient. (Draws his pole arm) And now to kill you!

Janos: (Sighs tiredly) And now I fly off again! (Flies off with the Sarafan Paladin chasing after him and screaming curses. Anamae quickly climbs on top of a box and waves her clipboard in the air)

Anamae: All right people, one more scene to do and then you can all have your second intermission. I know everyone's tired and cranky, but let's get through this scene with no foul ups and the rest of the play should go smoothly. Places people, places. Make sure the backdrops in place! Curtain cue get ready! Music, we need the music people! And Kain, Ariel!! A word with you two. (Takes them off to the side) Instead of just walking back behind the wings, go down the steps of the audience and through the main aisle like it is the real thing, the you two can quickly loop around the back and come to the back of the stage, okay? This is such a flash of inspiration that I got; maybe I could be a director in real life!

Kain & Ariel: NO!

(Anamae walks out as dignified as possible to the stage as everyone gets ready for the last scene in Act 2. She looks up at the crowded balcony and shakes her head, grinning slightly to herself. In the audience, the authoress can see that the Sarafan have nearly whipped themselves into a frenzy over the marriage for some reason or another, the Seraphim have confetti and flowers waiting to be thrown and even the vampires somehow managed to get a hold of noisemakers to celebrate Kain/Romeo's 'marriage'. But the scary thing is that the Elder God, seated all the way at the back, has a top hat on his head and is quickly tying a black bow in place. In fact it looks like everyone has somehow changed into formal wear as if the wedding was the real thing)

Anamae: (Under her breath) Oh god, this might be a little complicated. (Clears her throat) Now we give you the last scene in the second Act. Once again we ask you to refrain from violent outbreaks with your hated foes, namely Moebius, and to enjoy the wedding of 'Romeo' and 'Juliet'. (Anamae adds particular significance to the name of the characters in the play, but it seems to pass over everyone. With a sigh, she turns to leave. The curtain rises, and the audience quiets down, waiting expectantly)

(Soft light fills the stage and the strumming of a harp can be heard in the background. The backdrop is the inside of the Cathedral taken from the Upper City of Meridian, complete with the pews and pillars - spared no expense. Candles line the altar, the stain glass is aglow with something akin to holy light and Rahab stands straight and dignified. Beside him is Kain in his new costume. A couple of women in the audience sigh as they look at the handsome vampire lord)

Rahab: (Holding a book in his hands) So smile the heavens upon this holy act,
That after hours with sorrow chide us not!

Kain: (A grin on his face) Amen, amen! but come what sorrow can,
It cannot countervail the exchange of joy
That one short minute gives me in her sight:
Do thou but close our hands with holy words,
Then love-devouring death do what he dare;
It is enough I may but call her mine.

Rahab: These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume: the sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite:
Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.

(Ariel's cue is called and she enters from the left wing. Nupraptor almost gets up from his seat at the sight of his girlfriend but Dejoule and Bane quickly pull him back down. Hopefully Nupraptor will remember that this is only a play and not real life. Ariel floats up to Kain and takes his hand in her own)

Rahab: Here comes the lady: O, so light a foot
Will ne'er wear out the everlasting flint:
A lover may bestride the gossamer
That idles in the wanton summer air,
And yet not fall; so light is vanity.

Ariel: Good even to my ghostly confessor.

Rahab: (Smiles at Ariel) Romeo shall thank thee, daughter, for us both.

Ariel: As much to him, else is his thanks too much.

Kain: Ah, Juliet, if the measure of thy joy
Be heap'd like mine and that thy skill be more
To blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath
This neighbour air, and let rich music's tongue
Unfold the imagined happiness that both
Receive in either by this dear encounter.

Ariel: Conceit, more rich in matter than in words,
Brags of his substance, not of ornament:
They are but beggars that can count their worth;
But my true love is grown to such excess
I cannot sum up sum of half my wealth.

Rahab: Come, come with me, and we will make short work;
For, by your leaves, you shall not stay alone
Till holy church incorporate two in one.

(Both approach the altar. Nupraptor leans over to Bane)

Nupraptor: Wait a minute! Ariel's is getting married to Kain? But she said that I was the only man in her life!

Dejoule: (Whispering fiercely) Shut up! If you dare ruin this scene I'll burn you to a crisp!

Nupraptor: (Begins to struggle and tries to break out of Bane's chokehold) No! Ariel's meant to be with me, not that vampire!!!

Rahab: Do you, Romeo Montague, take Juliet Capulet to be your wife, to love and to hold her, in sickness and health, in joy and in pain, through richness and in poorness, until death doth tear you apart?

Kain: (Winks over at Ariel) I do.

Rahab: (Turns to Ariel) And do you, Juliet Capulet, take Romeo Montague-

Nupraptor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! (Everyone in the theatre house turns to look as the Guardian of the Mind literally flips Bane over his back and onto the ground, and then rushes up the steps and onto the stage. He grabs for Ariel's hand and pushes Kain away at the same time) Ariel, you can't marry Kain. I'm the one you love. Me, me, me! (Stomps his foot on the ground) ME!

Ariel: Nupraptor, it is only a play and you're ruining it!

Nupraptor: No, it's not a play, it's real life. If you do this, then you're getting married to Kain when you promised to get married to me!

Kain: Nupraptor, get yourself off the stage right now or else I'll slice your head off again!

Nupraptor: (Looks over at Kain with the insane look to his eyes while protectively holding Ariel) She's mine Kain! I called her first dammit, and there is no way I am letting her go! Rahab, you're a friar! Marry us here, right now!

Rahab: (Helpless look in his eyes) I'm not a real holy man. The Bishop of Meridian is. (Points to the bishop, who's sitting down in the Sarafan section. The old man waves) This is a play, Guardian of the Mind, not real life. Kain doesn't wish to marry Ariel; this is not real life. I repeat it is not real life.

Nupraptor: Stop playing tricks with my mind, little vampire. Marry us here and now!

Ariel: Nupraptor, let go…of me…can't breath…stop acting…like…an idiot!

Kain: Very well, Nupraptor. You have left me no choice but to use brute force. (Kain takes out the Soul Reaver and raises it above his head. Before he can actually swing it down at Nupraptor, the not so brave Pillar Guardian faints) Well, that was unexpected. (Kicks the unconscious man off the stage and turns back to Rahab) Keep going.

Rahab: Ahem, I am sorry Rodeo and Juliet for that --- did I say Romeo or Rodeo?

Kain: (Through clenched teeth) Rodeo.

Rahab: Oh, I am sorry. All this excitement is getting to me. (Turns to Ariel) Do you, Juliet Capulet, take Romeo Montague to be your husband, to love and to hold him, in sickness and health, in joy and in pain, through richness and in poorness, until death doth tear you apart?

Ariel: I do.

Rahab: Then with the powers vested in me by God the Most high, I wed you two in sacred marriage. (Places their hands together and watch them kiss) God bless.

(A big cheer erupts from the audience. The vampires begin to use their noisemakers, air horns, and anything else that makes noise but won't kill them; the Seraphim throw brightly coloured confetti at the stage as well as the flowers, and the Sarafan/humans send up balloons with the words 'Congratulations' and 'Newly Weds' on them. Ariel and Kain walk arm in arm down the steps and up the main aisle while all of this is still happening)

Kain: It feels like real life.

Ariel: Yes, it does. It's all rather exhilarating. (Catches a rose) Well, I guess this is my bouquet!

(Ariel and Kain leave the audience behind as they walk through the doors. Anamae comes out onstage, grinning wildly. It went off much better than expected; Nupraptor is out again and has also just been zapped by Dejoule)

Anamae: And that now concludes Act 2. We ask that you all file out this time in orderly rows, stretch your legs and get something to eat. The next act begins within a half hour. Thank you.