Elder God: Excuse me people, pardon me. Deity coming through. Sorry ma'am! (Tips his top hat in the direction of a noblewoman he almost walked…err, slid over) And now on my way to the refreshment stand. Ahh, that was quite the wedding. I do hope that Romeo and Juliet actually stay together.

Moebius: (Walking beside the Elder God and still covered in melted butter, blood, guts and other things that are best left unmentioned) Actually my lord, Romeo and Juliet-

Elder God: (Threateningly) Are you going to spoil the play for me?

Moebius: Well, I did read the script before seeing the actual play and I do know how it ends. I can say right now-

Elder God: Silence, Moebius. If you dare tell me anything I'll strip you of your powers and slap you silly with these tentacles of mine! I am also sure that no one else wants the play ruined by you. (Looks at the vampires, humans and Seraphim that are milling about in the halls) Am I right, inhabitants of Nosgoth?

Everyone else: YES! (Everyone throws food/heavy objects at the Time Guardian)

Moebius: Ouch, that paperweight was made of iron!! (Mutters to him while he goes to the washroom to try and clean himself off)

Elder God: (Comes up to the food stands. Hash'ak'git is now in charge of the counter and William the Just is sorting the boxes. Both sport some lovely bruises along their faces, arms and chest) I would like to buy your most expensive treat here. Money is not an option for I am a god.

Hash'ak'git: (Looks up at the giant blue 'squid' with some concern) All right, we have for about 10$ a cheesecake of three layers, the first layer filled with chocolate fudge, the second layer filled with I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Chocolate fudge and the third layer is filled with Suicidal Chocolate fudge.

Elder God: Might you have something less…chocolaty?

Hash'ak'git: …Well, I could always take that king behind me and dip him in chocolate, then tie him to a stick and you could eat him.

William the Just: HEY!!! Hash, you promised not to do anything like that!!!!

Elder God: That IS tempting…but I am on a diet and I gave up eating humans a while back. No, I believe I shall have the strawberry tarts, cinnamon rolls, two -no- three apple pies, ten scoops of maple ice cream, the box of M&M's…better make that five boxes, a Twix bar, four large bags of buttered popcorn with extra salt and three large drinks; Pepsi.

Hash'ak'git: (Putting everything onto the counter) So what was that about being on a diet?

Elder God: You dare question me, demon?!

Hash'ak'git: (In a small voice) No sir. That comes up to a grand total of 367.89$.

Elder God: Charge it to the Time Streamer Moebius' account. You have my permission. (Takes all of his food and moves off to one side) Oh, all of this food will go straight to my fifteen thighs, but I don't care.

(Bane and Mortanius walk up to the food booth)

Bane: Finally, we made it. (Looks at Hash and smiles) I would like to have a healthy fruit salad, demon, with extra apples.

Hash'ak'git: We only serve sweets here, hippie druid.

Bane: Are you sure? Isn't there a law that all concession stands must be stocked with something healthy?

Hash'ak'git: Not at my stand. We only serve sweets here, the type that'll make you humans nice and fat to eat later on when the demon race rules Nosgoth.

Bane: That is a rude thing to say, demon. Now I can see why our races will never get along.

Hash'ak'git: Look, either chose something or just leave!

Bane: Any healthy protein drinks?

(Hash'ak'git turns around behind him, takes a cup of water and hands it to the druid)

Hash'ak'git: This is all we have that doesn't come with sugar, alcohol, preservatives or some other crap in it that doesn't natural exist in nature. Now take it and move on.

Bane: (Takes the cup of water) You haven't heard the last of me. (Walks off)

Hash'ak'git: Yeah right. Next! (Looks at Mortanius) You?!

Mortanius: You! Well, the mighty Hash'ak'git is now reduced to serving drinks and food for the people! How I laugh at you. (The necromancer makes a feeble attempt to laugh and try to look brave at the same time)

Hash'ak'git: Hello, weren't you here with your friends during the last intermission?

Mortanius: Yes, but we never actually got this far in the long line. (Indicates the long line behind him that stretches all the way to the end of the theatre house, loops up the grand staircase, down the other side, around a couple of more halls and then outside in the back) So now that I am finally here, how about we put everything in the past behind us, where it is suppose to be, and you do your work and I will do mine?

Hash'ak'git: (Stony voice) You laughed at me and insulted me.

Mortanius: Yes, I did.

Hash'ak'git: (Voice cracking) You know, demons have feelings too.

Mortanius: You do?

Hash'ak'git: (Beginning to cry) Yes, we do! If you'll excuse me, I have something in my eye. Someone else take over!!! (The black demon runs off sobbing like a little girl)

William: (Comes back up to the cash) All right, what can I get for you then, Mortanius?

Mortanius: Is it all right to feel a little bad for making Hash cry like that? (Points off in the direction where the demon ran)

William: (Shrugs his shoulders) He only does it to get attention. Hash will be himself again in not time, don't worry about it.

Mortanius: Very well, then I will have-

(Further down the food line, behind Lorant, Zofia and Adojan and ahead of Serin, Alden and Ezra - sorry, once again this authoress has no control whatsoever. Please do not take offence in anyway)

Suzu: (Whining) Marcus, charm them or something. We've been standing in the same place for the past five minutes!!

Faustus: (Panicking) Don't listen to her Marcus! I remember the last time an argument started; Suzu was thrown through the wall. See, you can still see the outline over there. (Points to the cartoon outline of Suzu against the far wall) And we have a half hour until the next Act begins.

Suzu: I can't wait that long!!!

Marcus: I could charm everyone and get him or her moving…

Suzu: Go for it!

Marcus: …but they were here in front of us so I won't do that. History abhors line cutters.

Sebastian: Where have I heard something like that before?

Marcus: Oh, and are you suggesting then that you should do something?

Sebastian: If the line doesn't move soon, then I will and damn what history thinks. (The line moves forwards about three inches) Very well, the line is moving, but it is at a slow pace that I find could go much faster.

Suzu: (Singsong) Go berserk, slay the people, drink their blood on the steeple!

Sebastian: Shut up.

Suzu: (Singsong) Go berserk, slay the people, rip their heads off and place them on the steeple!

Sebastian: Cut it out.

Suzu: (Singsong) Go berserk, slay the people, eat their food upon the steeple.

Sebastian: What the hell is it with you and that steeple?!

Suzu: (Singsong and Marcus joining in) Go berserk, slay the people, eat their hearts with the steeple. Go berserk, slay the people, in Meridian dance upon the steeple!

Lorant: (Turns around) Would you stop that? It's really getting annoying!

Suzu: No. Why don't you make me?

Lorant: Why? Oh, I don't know; I give up! (Turns back around and covers his ears with his claws, trying to drown out the awful singing. Adojan has conveniently placed on earmuffs, from where we do not know but that doesn't matter. He doesn't have to hear the singing of Marcus and Suzu)

Zofia: Really Suzu, could you just act your age and stop being so immature? Your song holds no meaning, it rhymes back along itself and it gets annoying after only three verses.

Suzu: When you get as old as I am, you really don't give a damn to what other people say. And my song here does hold meaning! I'm trying to make Sebastian go berserk, then he will kill the people, the line will move on quickly and I'll be able to get my food.

Marcus: Do you see the hidden message in this song?

Alden: If you guys don't shut up, then I am personally going to place my foot up where the sun does not shine, Marcus!

Marcus: And where might that be? (Faustus leans over and whispers in his ear) Oh.

Ezra: Sebastian.

Sebastian: (Turns to look behind him) What?

Ezra: …Sebassssttttiiiiiiaaaaaaannnnnnnn!!!!

Sebastian: (Annoyed) What?

Ezra: Seeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaasssssssssssstttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn!!

Sebastian: (Pissed off) WHAT?! Why the hell do you keep calling out my name, you little runt? What is it that you want from me!!!

Ezra: Hello.

Sebastian: ARGH!!!

Faustus: Holy shit, Sebastian's really gone berserk!!!! Everyone run if you value your life!

Serin: (Picked up by the berserk Sebastian and tossed into the far wall, where a lovely indent of her is formed in the marble) Sebastian hit me! Now you're going to get it!

(She charges towards Sebastian, fists raised and ready to punch him with Ezra following for the hell of it. Lorant has also gotten into the fight because…hell, a fight's a fight! Adojan is still waiting in line, oblivious to anything because he is wearing his earmuffs and Faustus standing beside him, once again wiping his hands clean of this fight. Alden and Marcus are exchanging blows while Suzu and Zofia are still yelling about the song)

Suzu: Don't tell me that my singing sucks! I happen to have quite the voice!

Zofia: Are you saying that I can't sing?!

Suzu: Maybe I am!!! And another thing girl-

Zofia: Don't you dare call me a girl!!! I'm over 2,000 years old!

Suzu: And I'm well over 6,000!

Zofia: I'm going to go and get my father!!! (Begins to fly off)

Suzu: Oh yeah, running away, are we? Baby, cry-baby!

(Zofia turns around and flies back towards Suzu. Suzu in turn, spreads her own wings and begins to fight Zofia. People at the back of the line begin to scatter as they see the damage that the fight is causing, not to mention Sebastian grabbing a hold of anyone that comes within arm's reach and tossing them as far as possible, but before doing that he of course rips them apart too and drinks their blood)

Moebius: (Coming out of the men's washroom) Ahh, finally I got the blood off. Oh, happy days are here again. (Sees Sebastian bearing down on him, snarling and growling like some insane beast. The smile fades from Moebius' face and he goes pale) Oh dear.

* * *

(Backstage)

Janos: (Hears the crashes and thumps of another fight in the halls) Why cannot anyone get along with anyone else for just one evening? Why must everyone fight? At least I know that the Seraphim will not be causing any trouble. We have managed quite well this evening to keep the peace.

Umah: (Sitting beside him while holding a glass of champagne in her hand) I suppose, but all good things must come to an end eventually. I feel sorry for Nupraptor.

(Janos and Umah are sitting on the edge of the stage, looking at the charred form of Nupraptor, who is somehow still alive. Dejoule is pounding him with one of her high-heels, screeching at him all the while to at least once act like a grown-up)

Janos: I have never heard such a number of obscenities in one sentence. Actually, it's quite remarkable.

Umah: Agreed.

(Dumah suddenly comes crashing out on the stage with a look of pure horror on his face)

Dumah: Help me! Someone hide me!!! (Dives in front of Umah and Janos)

Janos: Hide you from what, boy?

Dumah: Costume…horrible Tybalt costume.

Umah: Oh please, is everyone is going to be wearing tights for the evening, then you will as well. Come to think of it, there is not much of a difference between the leather pants you wear everyday and the tights needed for your costume.

Dumah: There's a world of difference!!! Ah, hide me!!!

(The costume designer comes out onstage)

Janos: Wow, she almost looks like the director.

Umah: (Whispering) I think that is her cousin twice removed.

Costume designer: (Talking in a thick accent) Vhere is the vhampire?

Janos: (Points to his wings) Hiding behind them.

Costume designer: I vhank you. Come along, vhampire, time to get dressed in zee tights. (Reaches behind Janos' wings and grabs Dumah in a grin like iron)

Dumah: (Claws dragging into the wood as he's hauled behind the curtains) For god's sake, someone help me! Someone help me!!!!!!!!!

Umah: Well, that was interesting. Tell me, do you know where Ariel and Kain are?

Janos: Haven't got a clue.

(Suddenly, for no apparent reason other that the reason Turel gives it, he comes out of one side of the stage with Melchiah, Rahab and Zephon. Humming the can-can theme, the four Lieutenants can-can across the stage and exit to the other side. He peers around the corner and grins)

Turel: Stay tuned for our next appearance!! (Vanishes)

Janos: (Takes the champagne from Umah and downs it in one gulp) Very weird!

* * *

(At the front of the theatre house)

Anamae: (Standing alone) Okay, why was I called out here? Is this some sort of prank? (Looks at her cell phone) Shoddy piece of equipment. Oh well, it's not even mine so I don't have to worry about the bill anyways.

(Suddenly a large golden carriage drawn by 8 midnight black horses pulls up beside her. The driver, a snooty butler, hops off from the driving seat and onto the ground, and then walks around to the back of the carriage. Grabbing a large red carpet, the butler unrolls it. The carpet makes a nice straight line all the way up to the entrance of the Nosgoth Theatre House. Looking down at the young woman with a snooty glare that only butlers can give, he opens the carriage door)

Butler: Presenting the Sarafan Lord of Meridian, defender of all Nosgoth from the evils that may plague it.

(The Sarafan Lord steps out of the carriage and looks down at Anamae)

Sarafan Lord: Are you the one directing this play…(consults the flyer)…'Romeo and Juliet'?

Anamae: Yes, for the moment.

Sarafan Lord: Good. I would like to see it. (Begins to walk towards the theatre house) Oh, you may help my butler with my throne.

Anamae: Your throne? (Butler tosses the authoress a massive golden throne. Anamae, bent nearly double with the weight, runs after the Sarafan Lord and at the same time holding the throne) Listen buddy, you can't just walk in like this!

Sarafan Lord: Why not?

Anamae: I'll need to see your ticket!

Sarafan Lord: I do not require a ticket to see this. I am the Sarafan Lord.

Anamae: Yeah, and I'm one of Vorador's brides, like that will ever happen!

Vorador: (From inside the theatre house) That can be arranged!!!!

Anamae: OH SHUT UP!!! (Turns back to the Sarafan Lord) Look, if you have no ticket then I can't let you in. It's policy. And get someone else to carry your throne; I'm no one's lapdog! (Drops the throne with an almighty clang)

Sarafan Lord: (Looks down at Anamae) I am going to see this play whether I have a ticket or not. You would do well to help me out in anyway you possible can girl, or else. (Makes a slashing motion across his neck with his hand)

Anamae: (Rubbing her neck) Umm, I think there might be some seats available in the balcony section…but I'm not carrying your throne!

Sarafan Lord: Very well. (Snaps his fingers) Keeves, carry the throne.

(The butler Keeves walks up, still as snooty as hell, fixes his tie and then somehow manages to carry the massive throne easily in one hand. Anamae opens up the doors and leads the Sarafan Lord inside the massive building. Going up the many flights of stairs and making sure not to run into any vampires or Sarafan guards, the trio finally make their way to the balcony. Keeves set the golden throne down and quickly leaves, only to come back with a small cart carrying food for his lord)

Sarafan Lord: Ah yes, this looks like a good spot. I can see everything from here…even the vampires on the stage that I will soon kill. Yes, I shall kill them all.

Anamae: No, no, no. You're going to stay here and be quiet, eat your food and watch the play. You cannot kill any vampires because some of them are the actors and I need them to all stay alive until the end of opening night and then even afterwards. You also cannot 'pretend' you did not try and kill anyone because I'm watching you.

Sarafan Lord: Very well. When does the play continue?

Anamae: You've just entered in the middle of it and there's about fifteen minutes left to the intermission so you have about fifteen minutes to go. (Walks off) If it isn't Malek, it's the Sarafan Lord. If it's not the Sarafan Lord, it's going to be Moebius. If it's not Moebius, then it's….a perfect world.

(The director-in-charge walks by a broom closet, then stops and comes back when she hears something inside. Pressing her ear to the door, her face goes beet-red. Standing back quickly, Anamae pounds on the door)

Anamae: All right, you horny teenagers! This is no place for the likes of you people! Don't dirty the theatre house! Come out right now or you're going to get it! (Opens the door) Kain!? Ariel?!

Kain: (Smoothing back his hair. Awkward silence follows) Well, it seems that we did lose our way Ariel. This is most defiantly not the powder room on the eastern wing.

Ariel: Yes, it most certainly isn't. (Brushes down her dress and come out beside Kain. Anamae is still looking at the two in shock)

Kain: You don't dare tell anyone anything about this, understand Anamae?

Anamae: (Nods; big eyes) Un-huh.

Kain: Good.

Ariel: We'll be waiting for you backstage, director. The next Act is in five minutes.

(Ariel and Kain walk by the still shocked and horrified authoress, who is still holding the closet door open. Once they leave Anamae looks in the closet, screams, slams the door shut, then opens it, takes out a box of matches, lights the matches and tosses them into the closet, then slams and locks the door behind the fire)

Anamae: …I need something to drink. Maybe the Sarafan Lord has something. Yes, he always does. Just stay calm Anamae, and try to forget everything that just happened. Selective memory, selective memory; must forget the burning mental image inside my mind. Refuse to forget the image!!!! You're already insane, but you'll be even more insane by the time the night is over. Be calm, try and think calm and relaxing thoughts…