Disclaimer: Sigh…Sadly, I do not own the characters of The Pretender. I in no way wish to defame any of its affiliates nor NBC or TNT. I also do not own Aimee Mann's song "Wise Up," nor do I have permission to use it. That's it. Read it now!
Summary: Clues to the past bring Ms. Parker and Jarod back together again. Very involved in IOTH, but you can understand it without having seen it. Ties up most story lines. Mostly from Ms. Parker's point of view. Chapters are short.
The Truth Is Waiting
By Bec-Bec
Chapter 10
Wise Up
When Ms. Parker got home the next night, she turned on a CD, hoping to fill the silence so she wouldn't have to think about how miserable she was anymore. A song she had never heard before began to play, Jarod must have left it. "Damn Wonder Boy and his tokens of affection," she thought.
The song was Aimee Mann's "Wise Up." As the lyrics drifted through her house, she began to cry.
It's not, what you thought,
When you first began it.
You got, what you want.
You can hardly stand it though,
But I know,
It's not going to stop,
It's not going to stop,
It's not going to stop,
Til you wise up.
You're sure, there's a cure,
And you have finally found it.
You think, one drink,
Will shrink you till you're underground
And living down,
But, it's not going to stop,
It's not going to stop,
It's not going to stop,
Til you wise up.
Prepare a list for what you need,
Before you sign away the deed,
'Cause it's not going to stop,
It's not going to stop,
It's not going to stop,
Till you wise up.
No it's not going to stop,
Till you wise up.
No it's not going to stop,
So just, give up…
Ms. Parker cryed even harder as the CD stopped and the words began to sink in, smothering her in the lonely silence of her house. She knew exactly what Jarod was trying to tell her…none of this would stop unless she made it stop.
She drank an entire bottle of Vodka, forgetting about how bad it was for her ulcer, as she tried to drown all of her sorrows like she usually did.
She fell asleep on the couch.
Her sleep was as tormented, as usual, but with the blurred edges of alcohol. She had the same dream, but, this time, there was something added. Jarod was no longer waiting for her at the end of the street, but at the end of the Parker graveyard and when she fell to the ground, she noticed what one of the gravestones said. Etched in the stone were the word's beloved niece Anna Parker.
Ms. Parker woke with a start. "Who was Anna Parker?" she wondered. "Is she just an image created by the Vodka…or…"
She could tell there was something more to it and that it was incredibly important that she find out. It was part of her inner sense. She always trusted her mother's voice…except when it came to Jarod.
Her inner sense kept telling her to go with Jarod, to break down the icy walls she had built up around her heart, and destroy the Centre. After all, that's what her mother had tried to do. Yet, Jarod would always be the man she loved to chase and never wanted to catch.
Still, maybe that game was too risky, she already cared about him more than she wanted to, and either option she chose, she stood the chance of losing the man she loved…if she loved him. Perhaps it was worth it if she could just have him for just a moment, even if he got killed…but she didn't want him to die. She couldn't let him keep playing the game though. With Raines in charge, the Centre would find him…and kill him.
As more and more overwhelming thoughts entered her mind, she sat, curled up on the couch, trying to hide away from the things she didn't want to confront. Then, she heard the handle of her back door click and turn. She leaned back in the shadows, waiting to see who it was. Jarod walked into her living room and stood for a moment staring at her. "Hello, Ms. Parker," he breathed.
"Jarod," Ms. Parker cried out. She ran to him and hugged him.
Jarod was surprised and unsure of what to do. Parker hated physical contact. Why would she hug him? Slowly, he decided to hug her back.
She sobbed and then peeled herself away from him. She dropped her eyes down to the floor and turned around. She walked away from him and stood by the window. Jarod walked over to the couch and sat, waiting to hear what she would say.
"I shouldn't have done that," she whispered.
Jarod just sat silently.
"Jarod, I can't do this…I want to…so much…but I can't. It doesn't work this way. You run, I chase, being together throws all of that out of the window." She turned a little and stared at him, but his eyes choked her up so she had to turn away again. "How can I do this?" she thought, "What can I say? I'm sorry that my family hurt your family so much? I'm sorry for chasing you all those years? Oh, why is this so difficult? I think that I love him, why do I have to be as cold and calm and composed as I always am?"
She thought for a while more and made her decision. She spoke curtly, coldness entering her voice, "Jarod, I wanted to thank you for the lavender, and the doll, and the song…and you should probably go now." She stopped. "I'm sorry mama," she thought, in response to the voice in her head, "I'm sorry but I can't." She spoke again, "Seriously, Jarod, you should go, its not safe anymore and you can't be here. I'm supposed to be chasing you. If you stay, I might have to take you in to the Centre."
Suddenly, Jarod was behind her. She hadn't heard him get up.
"You don't really want me to go. For as long as you've been lying to yourself and everyone else, I can still read your face like an open book."
She turned around quickly, ready to give him one of her usual nasty replies about his being a lab rat, when he caught hold of her arm and pulled her toward him. They stood there for a long time, her head pressed against his chest, his chin resting on her head. Even as parts of her soul screamed at her to let go of him and move away, all she could hear was her mother's voice saying, "This is right. This is how it should be." She realized, for this first time since she was little, that Jarod's arms were one of the only places she felt safe.
She fell asleep standing in his arms…all of the years of lies had finally worn her out.