Kain: (Singing to himself) Me and Ariel, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!
Malek: (Walking by and hearing this) Now that's just disturbing. Even more disturbing that actually seeing that Moebius did, for a brief moment in his life, actually did possess hair and girls wanted to go out with him.
Random crewmember: (Overhearing Malek) Ohh, I gotta tell someone this little bit of news! (Runs off and leaves the lights unattended, which create a high beam of hot light down on "insert name of random actor" here and made him/her burn instantaneously)
Umah: (Standing beside Kain) Do you know what the next few scenes will present, right?
Kain: Yes.
Umah: You're actually looking forwards to this?
Kain: Yes, I am.
Umah: Kain, just to tell you, Ariel is a ghost and somewhat transparent. You, on the other hand, are undead but you're solid. And the scene doesn't exactly count as an Nc-17 rating. I mean everyone will know what happens, but you don't actually see that happening.
Kain: I realize these things, Umah. That part of the story doesn't come until scene five of the 3rd Act, but you can bet that I'll be prepared by then. (Winks at Umah)
Umah: I can't believe I'm actually hearing this. I have to go and see what Ariel is thinking about all of this!
(Umah walks off to go and see what Ariel has to say about this and maybe thinking about starting a petition against the 5th scene. Vorador and Turel slid up beside Kain, who is grooming himself in the mirror)
Vorador: (Whispering to Turel) I remember when I was like that, the hottest guy in all of Nosgoth. Hell, I still am.
Turel: (Loudly to Kain) Do you really have to do that, dad?
Kain: Of course, I must look my best.
Turel: Dad, didn't you say you hated Ariel and all that before?
Kain: Perspective changes, dear son.
Turel: Okay, now I'm getting scared. (To Vorador) If he makes himself look any better, than the girls in the audience will drag Romeo away and that'll be the end of that.
Vorador: Don't worry, that won't happen.
Turel: How're you so sure?
Vorador: Because I'll just make them come after me.
(Turel, knowing that the conversation was beginning to get a little weird, decided to make good his exit and left. Vorador looked at Kain for a few moments longer, realizing that here was someone who was more in love with himself than even Vorador was, and left too to ask Janos some question and wait for the scene. Anamae came around the corner at that moment, grabbed Kain roughly by the arm and dragged him towards the stage while consulting a list)
Anamae: Got Zephon and his arm's now healed, got Rahab whose finally stopped moaning and groaning and now I have Kain. The scene is ready to go.
Kain: Hey, watch the hair! I have to look good, damn it!
Anamae: (Looks at Kain) Whatever. (Points to the curtained stage) Take your place, Romeo. Rahab, you too.
Rahab: (Looking at a Bible) So we ARE all damned. Oh well, I already knew that. (Bible begins to burn his hand; he tosses it away where it hits Malek who was telling someone about Moebius in the days when he still had hair, and was knocked unconscious)
(Out in the audience)
Sarafan Lord: (Leaning over the balcony and looking at Faustus, Marcus and Sebastian) You guys are supposed to be in Meridian and guarding the place. I don't pay you vampires over 10,000 gold pieces a month just to sit your butts down and do nothing!
Faustus: It says in the contract that we can have the weekends off and that's what we're doing.
Marcus: Actually, I'm just taking a sick day.
Faustus: You aren't sick.
Marcus: Yes I am. I have a broken heart and it hurts like hell.
Sebastian: --shut up, Marcus. (Looks up at the SL) Don't worry milord, we'll head back to Meridian and get back to our jobs, but after the play is over. The tickets were expensive.
Faustus: Damn straight! Hey, buddy! (Faustus whistles to a guy two seats in front of him whose smooching with his girlfriend) The play's already filled with enough of that stuff so we don't need to see you making out with your girlfriend.
Guy: Maybe I want to.
Faustus: You make me sick.
Marcus: Faustus, just leave them alone.
Sebastian: I'm getting hungry.
(As the lights dim and the curtains open to show the next scene, no one noticed three pairs of yellow eyes looking hungrily at the two lovers who were smooching, or the fact that a few moments later the lovers were dead, drained of blood and the three yellow eyes didn't look so hungry anymore. The abbey was once again shown, with Rahab sitting near the altar, trying to look important. Of course the Rahabim vampires began to cheer for their Clan Lord and even the water balloons tossed at them couldn't keep them quiet)
Rahab: Romeo, come forth; come forth, thou fearful man:
Affliction is enamour'd of thy parts,
And thou art wedded to calamity.
(Kain enters from the wings. Now since he did make himself look even more beautiful that he already was, the girls began to froth and rave wildly, climbing out of their seats and making their way to the stage. Thanks to the Turelim vampires who heroically volunteered to be the security, the girls were repelled with the usual pepper spray and water, leaving the play to go on and Kain unmolested - for the moment)
Kain: Father, what news? what is the prince's doom?
What sorrow craves acquaintance at my hand,
That I yet know not?
Rahab: Too familiar
Is my dear son with such sour company:
I bring thee tidings of the prince's doom.
Kain: What less than dooms-day is the prince's doom?
Rahab: A gentler judgment vanish'd from his lips,
Not body's death, but body's banishment.
Kain: (Falling out of character) Turel can't banish me! I'm the emperor of Nosgoth, damn it, and if I don't want to leave Verona then I don't have to!
Rahab: Father, character! Stay in character!
Kain: Oh, forgive me. But all the same if Turel thinks he could ever banish me. (Goes back to his lines) Ha, banishment! be merciful, say 'death;'
For exile hath more terror in his look,
Much more than death: do not say 'banishment.'
Rahab: Hence from Verona art thou banished:
Be patient, for the world is broad and wide.
Kain: There is no world without Verona walls,
But purgatory, torture, hell itself.
Hence-banished is banish'd from the world,
And world's exile is death: then banished,
Is death mis-term'd: calling death banishment,
Thou cutt'st my head off with a golden axe,
And smilest upon the stroke that murders me.
Rahab: Actually Romeo is getting off pretty easily. O deadly sin! O rude unthankfulness!
Thy fault our law calls death; but the kind prince,
Taking thy part, hath rush'd aside the law,
And turn'd that black word death to banishment:
This is dear mercy, and thou seest it not.
Kain: 'Tis torture, and not mercy: heaven is here,
Where Juliet lives; and every cat and dog
And little mouse, every unworthy thing,
Live here in heaven and may look on her;
But Romeo may not: more validity,
More honourable state, more courtship lives
In carrion-flies than Romeo: they my seize
On the white wonder of dear Juliet's hand
And steal immortal blessing from her lips,
Who even in pure and vestal modesty,
Still blush, as thinking their own kisses sin;
But Romeo may not; he is banished:
Flies may do this, but I from this must fly:
They are free men, but I am banished.
And say'st thou yet that exile is not death?
Hadst thou no poison mix'd, no sharp-ground knife,
No sudden mean of death, though ne'er so mean,
But 'banished' to kill me?--'banished'?
O friar, the damned use that word in hell;
Howlings attend it: how hast thou the heart,
Being a divine, a ghostly confessor,
A sin-absolver, and my friend profess'd,
To mangle me with that word 'banished'?
Rahab: (Puts away the pocketwatch) only 2 minutes and 5 seconds. Not al long winded as Ariel or Zephon, but you're getting there.
Ariel & Zephon: (Offstage) We HEARD that!
Kain: (Very angry) You were timing me, ungrateful son?
Rahab: -- Maybe I was.
Kain: Just say your lines.
Rahab: Thou fond mad man, hear me but speak a word.
Kain: O, thou wilt speak again of banishment.
Rahab: I'll give thee armour to keep off that word:
Adversity's sweet milk, philosophy,
To comfort thee, though thou art banished.
Kain: Yet 'banished'? Hang up philosophy!
Unless philosophy can make a Juliet,
Displant a town, reverse a prince's doom,
It helps not, it prevails not: talk no more.
Rahab: Look, how many times do I have to tell you? You're banished, gone, cast out, left for the vultures, leaving with no return address or where you might be next. Good bye.
Kain: Oh, that makes it all that much easier, Friar.
Rahab: With someone with such a low I.Q. like you, I had to put it into a simple sentence and simple words. O, then I see that madmen have no ears.
Kain: How should they, when that wise men have no eyes?
Rahab: Let me dispute with thee of thy estate.
Kain: Thou canst not speak of that thou dost not feel:
Wert thou as young as I, Juliet thy love,
An hour but married, Tybalt murdered,
Doting like me and like me banished,
Then mightst thou speak, then mightst thou tear thy hair,
And fall upon the ground, as I do now,
Taking the measure of an unmade grave.
(Sound effects are cued; knocking is heard from the entrance to the abbey)
Rahab: Arise; one knocks; good Romeo, hide thyself.
Kain: Not I; unless the breath of heartsick groans,
Mist-like, infold me from the search of eyes.
(The knocking grows a little louder and the stainglass windows are somehow smashed)
Rahab: Hark, how they knock! Who's there? Romeo, arise;
Thou wilt be taken. Stay awhile! Stand up; Run to my study. By and by! God's will,
What simpleness is this! I come, I come!
(The knocking continues)
Zephon: (Within) Let me come in, and you shall know
my errand;
I come from Lady Juliet.
Rahab: Welcome, then. (Lets Zephon in)
(Well Zephon breezed in, looking like he owned the place. And in Rahab's opinion, he was getting far too comfortable in the dress and wig. Some people looked at Zephon from the audience and he stared right back at them Then the people in the audience, for fear of hearing another long winded speech that made no big difference in the course of the play, chose that moment to run away)
Zephon: Obviously they could not be in my great presence. O holy friar, O, tell me, holy friar,
Where is my lady's lord, where's Romeo?
Rahab: There on the ground, with his own tears made drunk. (Points towards Kain, who is pretending to sob dramatically)
Zephon: (Look of disgust on his face) O, he is even in my mistress' case,
Just in her case! O woful sympathy!
Piteous predicament! Even so lies she,
Blubbering and weeping, weeping and blubbering.
Stand up, stand up; stand, and you be a man:
For Juliet's sake, for her sake, rise and stand;
Why should you fall into so deep an O?
Kain: Nurse!
Zephon: Ah sir! ah sir! Well, death's the end of all.
Kain: Spakest thou of Juliet? how is it with her?
Doth she not think me an old murderer,
Now I have stain'd the childhood of our joy
With blood removed but little from her own?
Where is she? and how doth she? and what says
My conceal'd lady to our cancell'd love?
Zephon: O, she says nothing, sir, but weeps and weeps;
And now falls on her bed; and then starts up,
And Tybalt calls; and then on Romeo cries,
And then down falls again.
Kain: As if that name,
Shot from the deadly level of a gun,
Did murder her; as that name's cursed hand
Murder'd her kinsman. O, tell me, friar, tell me,
In what vile part of this anatomy
Doth my name lodge? tell me, that I may sack
The hateful mansion. (Takes out the Soul Reaver)
Rahab: Hey, we'll have none of that! No one is going to kill anyone else at this moment! Hold thy desperate hand:
Art thou a man? thy form cries out thou art:
Thy tears are womanish; thy wild acts denote
The unreasonable fury of a beast:
Unseemly woman in a seeming man!
Or ill-beseeming beast in seeming both!
Thou hast amazed me: by my holy order,
I thought thy disposition better temper'd.
Hast thou slain Tybalt? wilt thou slay thyself?
And stay thy lady too that lives in thee,
By doing damned hate upon thyself?
Why rail'st thou on thy birth, the heaven, and earth?
Since birth, and heaven, and earth, all three do meet
In thee at once; which thou at once wouldst lose.
Fie, fie, thou shamest thy shape, thy love, thy wit;
Which, like a usurer, abound'st in all,
And usest none in that true use indeed
Which should bedeck thy shape, thy love, thy wit:
Thy noble shape is but a form of wax,
Digressing from the valour of a man;
Thy dear love sworn but hollow perjury,
Killing that love which thou hast vow'd to cherish;
Thy wit, that ornament to shape and love,
Misshapen in the conduct of them both,
Like powder in a skitless soldier's flask,
Is set afire by thine own ignorance,
And thou dismember'd with thine own defence.
What, rouse thee, man! thy Juliet is alive,
For whose dear sake thou wast but lately dead;
There art thou happy: Tybalt would kill thee,
But thou slew'st Tybalt; there are thou happy too:
The law that threaten'd death becomes thy friend
And turns it to exile; there art thou happy:
A pack of blessings lights up upon thy back;
Happiness courts thee in her best array;
But, like a misbehaved and sullen wench,
Thou pout'st upon thy fortune and thy love:
Take heed, take heed, for such die miserable.
Go, get thee to thy love, as was decreed,
Ascend her chamber, hence and comfort her:
But look thou stay not till the watch be set,
For then thou canst not pass to Mantua;
Where thou shalt live, till we can find a time
To blaze your marriage, reconcile your friends,
Beg pardon of the prince, and call thee back
With twenty hundred thousand times more joy
Than thou went'st forth in lamentation.
Go before, nurse: commend me to thy lady;
And bid her hasten all the house to bed,
Which heavy sorrow makes them apt unto:
Romeo is coming.
(People stare at Rahab in shock. The crew and cast members stare at Rahab in shock. Even Kain and Zephon are looking at him in shock. Kain looks at his watch, then smiles at Rahab evilly)
Kain: 4 minutes and 58 seconds. And you said that I took forever.
Zephon: Yes, it seems that the friar now is going to be speaking more.
Rahab: (Flustered and slightly out of breath) Oh shut up!
Zephon: (Snickering) Maybe you should. O Lord, I could have stay'd here all the night
To hear good counsel: O, what learning is!
My lord, I'll tell my lady you will come.
Kain: Do so, and bid my sweet prepare to chide.
Zephon: Here, sir, a ring she bid me give you, sir:
Hie you, make haste, for it grows very late.
(Zephon gives Kain and ring which he swiped off of Nupraptor when the Guardian was knocked out, and then leaves the stage)
Kain: How well my comfort is revived by this!
Rahab: Go hence; good night; and here stands all your state:
Either be gone before the watch be set,
Or by the break of day disguised from hence:
Sojourn in Mantua; I'll find out your man,
And he shall signify from time to time
Every good hap to you that chances here:
Give me thy hand; 'tis late: farewell; good night.
Kain: But that a joy past joy calls out on me,
It were a grief, so brief to part with thee: Farewell.
(The curtain falls and the audience begins to talk amongst themselves again. Hell, how would of thought Rahab actually had it in him? When the vampire came backstage, wiping his brow, he received something of a shock. The cast was all lined up, decked out in party hats, balloons and noisemakers)
Anamae: (Clapping her hands) You Rahab have been nominated for the 'Longest Winded Speech In the Play' award, beating out Juliet, Romeo and even Nurse. Of course there are more contestants to come, but for the moment you're in the lead.
Rahab: Should I be happy?
Melchiah: Just feign ignorance and try to walk away as soon as possible.
Anamae: Okay I need Malek, Janos and Melchiah up here next! Let's get the scenes moved around; replace the abbey with the interior rooms of the castle of Willendorf and for god's sake Malek, put some ice on that area of it hurts so much.
Malek: (Still trying to get over the pain of having his non-existent area hurt by Umah; talking in a high voice) Yes madam.
Janos: (Laughing to himself)
Malek: (Walking by and hearing this) Now that's just disturbing. Even more disturbing that actually seeing that Moebius did, for a brief moment in his life, actually did possess hair and girls wanted to go out with him.
Random crewmember: (Overhearing Malek) Ohh, I gotta tell someone this little bit of news! (Runs off and leaves the lights unattended, which create a high beam of hot light down on "insert name of random actor" here and made him/her burn instantaneously)
Umah: (Standing beside Kain) Do you know what the next few scenes will present, right?
Kain: Yes.
Umah: You're actually looking forwards to this?
Kain: Yes, I am.
Umah: Kain, just to tell you, Ariel is a ghost and somewhat transparent. You, on the other hand, are undead but you're solid. And the scene doesn't exactly count as an Nc-17 rating. I mean everyone will know what happens, but you don't actually see that happening.
Kain: I realize these things, Umah. That part of the story doesn't come until scene five of the 3rd Act, but you can bet that I'll be prepared by then. (Winks at Umah)
Umah: I can't believe I'm actually hearing this. I have to go and see what Ariel is thinking about all of this!
(Umah walks off to go and see what Ariel has to say about this and maybe thinking about starting a petition against the 5th scene. Vorador and Turel slid up beside Kain, who is grooming himself in the mirror)
Vorador: (Whispering to Turel) I remember when I was like that, the hottest guy in all of Nosgoth. Hell, I still am.
Turel: (Loudly to Kain) Do you really have to do that, dad?
Kain: Of course, I must look my best.
Turel: Dad, didn't you say you hated Ariel and all that before?
Kain: Perspective changes, dear son.
Turel: Okay, now I'm getting scared. (To Vorador) If he makes himself look any better, than the girls in the audience will drag Romeo away and that'll be the end of that.
Vorador: Don't worry, that won't happen.
Turel: How're you so sure?
Vorador: Because I'll just make them come after me.
(Turel, knowing that the conversation was beginning to get a little weird, decided to make good his exit and left. Vorador looked at Kain for a few moments longer, realizing that here was someone who was more in love with himself than even Vorador was, and left too to ask Janos some question and wait for the scene. Anamae came around the corner at that moment, grabbed Kain roughly by the arm and dragged him towards the stage while consulting a list)
Anamae: Got Zephon and his arm's now healed, got Rahab whose finally stopped moaning and groaning and now I have Kain. The scene is ready to go.
Kain: Hey, watch the hair! I have to look good, damn it!
Anamae: (Looks at Kain) Whatever. (Points to the curtained stage) Take your place, Romeo. Rahab, you too.
Rahab: (Looking at a Bible) So we ARE all damned. Oh well, I already knew that. (Bible begins to burn his hand; he tosses it away where it hits Malek who was telling someone about Moebius in the days when he still had hair, and was knocked unconscious)
(Out in the audience)
Sarafan Lord: (Leaning over the balcony and looking at Faustus, Marcus and Sebastian) You guys are supposed to be in Meridian and guarding the place. I don't pay you vampires over 10,000 gold pieces a month just to sit your butts down and do nothing!
Faustus: It says in the contract that we can have the weekends off and that's what we're doing.
Marcus: Actually, I'm just taking a sick day.
Faustus: You aren't sick.
Marcus: Yes I am. I have a broken heart and it hurts like hell.
Sebastian: --shut up, Marcus. (Looks up at the SL) Don't worry milord, we'll head back to Meridian and get back to our jobs, but after the play is over. The tickets were expensive.
Faustus: Damn straight! Hey, buddy! (Faustus whistles to a guy two seats in front of him whose smooching with his girlfriend) The play's already filled with enough of that stuff so we don't need to see you making out with your girlfriend.
Guy: Maybe I want to.
Faustus: You make me sick.
Marcus: Faustus, just leave them alone.
Sebastian: I'm getting hungry.
(As the lights dim and the curtains open to show the next scene, no one noticed three pairs of yellow eyes looking hungrily at the two lovers who were smooching, or the fact that a few moments later the lovers were dead, drained of blood and the three yellow eyes didn't look so hungry anymore. The abbey was once again shown, with Rahab sitting near the altar, trying to look important. Of course the Rahabim vampires began to cheer for their Clan Lord and even the water balloons tossed at them couldn't keep them quiet)
Rahab: Romeo, come forth; come forth, thou fearful man:
Affliction is enamour'd of thy parts,
And thou art wedded to calamity.
(Kain enters from the wings. Now since he did make himself look even more beautiful that he already was, the girls began to froth and rave wildly, climbing out of their seats and making their way to the stage. Thanks to the Turelim vampires who heroically volunteered to be the security, the girls were repelled with the usual pepper spray and water, leaving the play to go on and Kain unmolested - for the moment)
Kain: Father, what news? what is the prince's doom?
What sorrow craves acquaintance at my hand,
That I yet know not?
Rahab: Too familiar
Is my dear son with such sour company:
I bring thee tidings of the prince's doom.
Kain: What less than dooms-day is the prince's doom?
Rahab: A gentler judgment vanish'd from his lips,
Not body's death, but body's banishment.
Kain: (Falling out of character) Turel can't banish me! I'm the emperor of Nosgoth, damn it, and if I don't want to leave Verona then I don't have to!
Rahab: Father, character! Stay in character!
Kain: Oh, forgive me. But all the same if Turel thinks he could ever banish me. (Goes back to his lines) Ha, banishment! be merciful, say 'death;'
For exile hath more terror in his look,
Much more than death: do not say 'banishment.'
Rahab: Hence from Verona art thou banished:
Be patient, for the world is broad and wide.
Kain: There is no world without Verona walls,
But purgatory, torture, hell itself.
Hence-banished is banish'd from the world,
And world's exile is death: then banished,
Is death mis-term'd: calling death banishment,
Thou cutt'st my head off with a golden axe,
And smilest upon the stroke that murders me.
Rahab: Actually Romeo is getting off pretty easily. O deadly sin! O rude unthankfulness!
Thy fault our law calls death; but the kind prince,
Taking thy part, hath rush'd aside the law,
And turn'd that black word death to banishment:
This is dear mercy, and thou seest it not.
Kain: 'Tis torture, and not mercy: heaven is here,
Where Juliet lives; and every cat and dog
And little mouse, every unworthy thing,
Live here in heaven and may look on her;
But Romeo may not: more validity,
More honourable state, more courtship lives
In carrion-flies than Romeo: they my seize
On the white wonder of dear Juliet's hand
And steal immortal blessing from her lips,
Who even in pure and vestal modesty,
Still blush, as thinking their own kisses sin;
But Romeo may not; he is banished:
Flies may do this, but I from this must fly:
They are free men, but I am banished.
And say'st thou yet that exile is not death?
Hadst thou no poison mix'd, no sharp-ground knife,
No sudden mean of death, though ne'er so mean,
But 'banished' to kill me?--'banished'?
O friar, the damned use that word in hell;
Howlings attend it: how hast thou the heart,
Being a divine, a ghostly confessor,
A sin-absolver, and my friend profess'd,
To mangle me with that word 'banished'?
Rahab: (Puts away the pocketwatch) only 2 minutes and 5 seconds. Not al long winded as Ariel or Zephon, but you're getting there.
Ariel & Zephon: (Offstage) We HEARD that!
Kain: (Very angry) You were timing me, ungrateful son?
Rahab: -- Maybe I was.
Kain: Just say your lines.
Rahab: Thou fond mad man, hear me but speak a word.
Kain: O, thou wilt speak again of banishment.
Rahab: I'll give thee armour to keep off that word:
Adversity's sweet milk, philosophy,
To comfort thee, though thou art banished.
Kain: Yet 'banished'? Hang up philosophy!
Unless philosophy can make a Juliet,
Displant a town, reverse a prince's doom,
It helps not, it prevails not: talk no more.
Rahab: Look, how many times do I have to tell you? You're banished, gone, cast out, left for the vultures, leaving with no return address or where you might be next. Good bye.
Kain: Oh, that makes it all that much easier, Friar.
Rahab: With someone with such a low I.Q. like you, I had to put it into a simple sentence and simple words. O, then I see that madmen have no ears.
Kain: How should they, when that wise men have no eyes?
Rahab: Let me dispute with thee of thy estate.
Kain: Thou canst not speak of that thou dost not feel:
Wert thou as young as I, Juliet thy love,
An hour but married, Tybalt murdered,
Doting like me and like me banished,
Then mightst thou speak, then mightst thou tear thy hair,
And fall upon the ground, as I do now,
Taking the measure of an unmade grave.
(Sound effects are cued; knocking is heard from the entrance to the abbey)
Rahab: Arise; one knocks; good Romeo, hide thyself.
Kain: Not I; unless the breath of heartsick groans,
Mist-like, infold me from the search of eyes.
(The knocking grows a little louder and the stainglass windows are somehow smashed)
Rahab: Hark, how they knock! Who's there? Romeo, arise;
Thou wilt be taken. Stay awhile! Stand up; Run to my study. By and by! God's will,
What simpleness is this! I come, I come!
(The knocking continues)
Zephon: (Within) Let me come in, and you shall know
my errand;
I come from Lady Juliet.
Rahab: Welcome, then. (Lets Zephon in)
(Well Zephon breezed in, looking like he owned the place. And in Rahab's opinion, he was getting far too comfortable in the dress and wig. Some people looked at Zephon from the audience and he stared right back at them Then the people in the audience, for fear of hearing another long winded speech that made no big difference in the course of the play, chose that moment to run away)
Zephon: Obviously they could not be in my great presence. O holy friar, O, tell me, holy friar,
Where is my lady's lord, where's Romeo?
Rahab: There on the ground, with his own tears made drunk. (Points towards Kain, who is pretending to sob dramatically)
Zephon: (Look of disgust on his face) O, he is even in my mistress' case,
Just in her case! O woful sympathy!
Piteous predicament! Even so lies she,
Blubbering and weeping, weeping and blubbering.
Stand up, stand up; stand, and you be a man:
For Juliet's sake, for her sake, rise and stand;
Why should you fall into so deep an O?
Kain: Nurse!
Zephon: Ah sir! ah sir! Well, death's the end of all.
Kain: Spakest thou of Juliet? how is it with her?
Doth she not think me an old murderer,
Now I have stain'd the childhood of our joy
With blood removed but little from her own?
Where is she? and how doth she? and what says
My conceal'd lady to our cancell'd love?
Zephon: O, she says nothing, sir, but weeps and weeps;
And now falls on her bed; and then starts up,
And Tybalt calls; and then on Romeo cries,
And then down falls again.
Kain: As if that name,
Shot from the deadly level of a gun,
Did murder her; as that name's cursed hand
Murder'd her kinsman. O, tell me, friar, tell me,
In what vile part of this anatomy
Doth my name lodge? tell me, that I may sack
The hateful mansion. (Takes out the Soul Reaver)
Rahab: Hey, we'll have none of that! No one is going to kill anyone else at this moment! Hold thy desperate hand:
Art thou a man? thy form cries out thou art:
Thy tears are womanish; thy wild acts denote
The unreasonable fury of a beast:
Unseemly woman in a seeming man!
Or ill-beseeming beast in seeming both!
Thou hast amazed me: by my holy order,
I thought thy disposition better temper'd.
Hast thou slain Tybalt? wilt thou slay thyself?
And stay thy lady too that lives in thee,
By doing damned hate upon thyself?
Why rail'st thou on thy birth, the heaven, and earth?
Since birth, and heaven, and earth, all three do meet
In thee at once; which thou at once wouldst lose.
Fie, fie, thou shamest thy shape, thy love, thy wit;
Which, like a usurer, abound'st in all,
And usest none in that true use indeed
Which should bedeck thy shape, thy love, thy wit:
Thy noble shape is but a form of wax,
Digressing from the valour of a man;
Thy dear love sworn but hollow perjury,
Killing that love which thou hast vow'd to cherish;
Thy wit, that ornament to shape and love,
Misshapen in the conduct of them both,
Like powder in a skitless soldier's flask,
Is set afire by thine own ignorance,
And thou dismember'd with thine own defence.
What, rouse thee, man! thy Juliet is alive,
For whose dear sake thou wast but lately dead;
There art thou happy: Tybalt would kill thee,
But thou slew'st Tybalt; there are thou happy too:
The law that threaten'd death becomes thy friend
And turns it to exile; there art thou happy:
A pack of blessings lights up upon thy back;
Happiness courts thee in her best array;
But, like a misbehaved and sullen wench,
Thou pout'st upon thy fortune and thy love:
Take heed, take heed, for such die miserable.
Go, get thee to thy love, as was decreed,
Ascend her chamber, hence and comfort her:
But look thou stay not till the watch be set,
For then thou canst not pass to Mantua;
Where thou shalt live, till we can find a time
To blaze your marriage, reconcile your friends,
Beg pardon of the prince, and call thee back
With twenty hundred thousand times more joy
Than thou went'st forth in lamentation.
Go before, nurse: commend me to thy lady;
And bid her hasten all the house to bed,
Which heavy sorrow makes them apt unto:
Romeo is coming.
(People stare at Rahab in shock. The crew and cast members stare at Rahab in shock. Even Kain and Zephon are looking at him in shock. Kain looks at his watch, then smiles at Rahab evilly)
Kain: 4 minutes and 58 seconds. And you said that I took forever.
Zephon: Yes, it seems that the friar now is going to be speaking more.
Rahab: (Flustered and slightly out of breath) Oh shut up!
Zephon: (Snickering) Maybe you should. O Lord, I could have stay'd here all the night
To hear good counsel: O, what learning is!
My lord, I'll tell my lady you will come.
Kain: Do so, and bid my sweet prepare to chide.
Zephon: Here, sir, a ring she bid me give you, sir:
Hie you, make haste, for it grows very late.
(Zephon gives Kain and ring which he swiped off of Nupraptor when the Guardian was knocked out, and then leaves the stage)
Kain: How well my comfort is revived by this!
Rahab: Go hence; good night; and here stands all your state:
Either be gone before the watch be set,
Or by the break of day disguised from hence:
Sojourn in Mantua; I'll find out your man,
And he shall signify from time to time
Every good hap to you that chances here:
Give me thy hand; 'tis late: farewell; good night.
Kain: But that a joy past joy calls out on me,
It were a grief, so brief to part with thee: Farewell.
(The curtain falls and the audience begins to talk amongst themselves again. Hell, how would of thought Rahab actually had it in him? When the vampire came backstage, wiping his brow, he received something of a shock. The cast was all lined up, decked out in party hats, balloons and noisemakers)
Anamae: (Clapping her hands) You Rahab have been nominated for the 'Longest Winded Speech In the Play' award, beating out Juliet, Romeo and even Nurse. Of course there are more contestants to come, but for the moment you're in the lead.
Rahab: Should I be happy?
Melchiah: Just feign ignorance and try to walk away as soon as possible.
Anamae: Okay I need Malek, Janos and Melchiah up here next! Let's get the scenes moved around; replace the abbey with the interior rooms of the castle of Willendorf and for god's sake Malek, put some ice on that area of it hurts so much.
Malek: (Still trying to get over the pain of having his non-existent area hurt by Umah; talking in a high voice) Yes madam.
Janos: (Laughing to himself)