Kain: (whining) When do I get to go on again? I haven't been on in a while and the people might start to forget me?
Raziel: Dad, no one can forget you. Well perhaps because my hordes of fangirls are almost the same size as yours so perhaps.....(Kain gives him a dangerous look)...nothing!
(Vorador, who is now dressed in Capulet's clothing – and Janos is still knocked out – comes up to Anamae who is drinking a whole pot of Colombian coffee mixed in with some of Dumah's beer)
Vorador: Suggestion, my dear.
Anamae: (jittery) Yesssssssss?
Vorador: We could put scenes 4 and 5 together?
Anamae: (downs a mouthful) Do you remember what happened last time?
Vorador: Yes. A fairie careened through the place, Kain was found upside down with his underwear hanging on by a thread, Dumah nearly attacked Raziel and the special effects as I recall were rather good.
Anamae: ... Screw it, I just want the night to be over with either way. (Finishes the coffee and hands the pot to Turel) Here, a present for you. (Walks off)
Turel: Hmm, a coffee pot. Devious and evil plots are swirling in my mind now....(walks off to fulfill the evil things that one can do with a coffee pot)
(Anamae overturns a trunk that contains inside of it the lost treasure of the Ancients, then stands up on it. Raising her hands to her lips, she begins to shout out orders)
Anamae: Because this is already flooging the dead horse over numerous times, and because the night is going on and on and on, and because the body coutn is rising and the fire in the upper levels hasn't been put out and might be the death of us all, we're gonna put scenes 4 and 5 together again to finish off the 4th act all that much faster.
(Everyone begins to groan)
Dumah: You remember what happened last time!
Anamae: You're not even technically alive anymore! You get no vote.
Dumah: Still....
Anamae: I'll need Melchiah, Zephon, Vorador, a servant or 4, Rahab, Malek, a musician and 2 more and some guy called Peter to play these roles.
Some guy called Peter: I'll play that part!
Anamae: Okay good! Now for musicians! (looks around) ...who ate them?
(Umah raises a hand and smiles sheepishly)
Umah: I couldn't help it. I was hungry and they were there and they were playing such fine music that –
Anamae: We need to find new musicians!
(She jumps off the trunk and exits the stage, jumps down into the audience and looks around. Finding her targets she walked up to them and gave a huge grin)
Anamae: Sebastian, Marcus, Faustus!
Marcus: What?
Sebastian: Why are you grinning like that?
Faustus: Why do I have the sudden urge to flee?
Anamae: You guys use to play in a band, right?
(13 minutes and one dead usher later)
Sebastian: I refuse to go out dressed as a 14th century musician! I demand to speak to the Vampires Rights Guild.
Faustus: (looking at his hat) Why do these stupid hats have feathers in them?
Marcus: I hate wearing these tights.
Umah: In you're other outfit you wore tights. What's the differance?
Marcus: They weren't striped tights!
(At that moment Kain walks by and sees the 'musicians'. He gives something of a scream, then starts laughing as he sees them in the puffy shirts, the colourful vests and the tight tights)
Kain: (laughing) You all look like the idiots that you are.
Sebastian: I'm going to brain you! (raises the lute over his head)
(Kain gave a yelp and raced behind Aname, who unfortunatly received the full force of Sebastian's smashing of the lute. She stood there for a few moments, swaying from side to side, then looked at Umah and said)
Anamae: Start the show. (falls to the ground, out cold ... again)
* * *
(The curtain rises to reveal a hall in the Capulet mansion. This hall is special than all the other ones because it is not put into the stylings of the 14th century. Made by the Nosgoth schoolchildren of the daycare center next door, it has vampires, humans, hylden, Seraphim and werewolves killing the bunny all drawn along the walls or made with colourful paint. The other hall that the director had planned to use never arrived because it had never been cut out from the Sanctuary of the Clans itself. But all the same it still looks nice. Zephon and Melchiah walk out onto the stage, the younger of the brothers fanning himself and looking very pompous because Turel had just given him an evil coffee pot that he would later smash over Zephon's head)
Melchiah: (hands Zephon some keys) Hold, take these keys, and fetch more spices, nurse.
Zephon: (mutters) Why do I have to take the keys? They call for dates and quinces in the pastry, milady.
(A soundtrack is quickly played: sounds from a kitchen can be heard in the background with a french chef singing about killing a crab and stuffing him with bread. Then Vorador breezes in, looking somehow very dashing no matter what. He knows he can play the part of Capulet well enough, and cannot wait to show everyone else what he thinks of himself)
Vorador: (coming from the kitchen) Come, stir, stir, stir! the second cock hath crow'd,
The curfew-bell hath rung, 'tis three o'clock:
Look to the baked meats, good Angelica:
Spare not for the cost.
(In the audience)
Nupraptor: Wait a minute! What happened to Janos?
Mortanius: Don't you remember? Because of the mob he was knocked out and Vorador had to play the part!
Moebius: He thinks he so big just because he has a couple of wives and I don't and that he has a mansion and I don't and that he's better-looking than me and I'm not! (everyone looks at him) What?
(Back onstage)
Zephon: (still muttering curses to himself) Go, you cot-quean, go,
Get you to bed; faith, You'll be sick to-morrow
For this night's watching.
Vorador: (flashing his teeth) No, not a whit: what! I have watch'd ere now
All night for lesser cause, and ne'er been sick. I'm one of the few healthy undead!
Zephon: (muttering) Screw you and Melchiah both, I want out of here now. This scene doesn't make any sense; why bother the viewer with something this stupid?
Melchiah: Ay, you have been a mouse-hunt in your time;
But I will watch you from such watching now.
(Still fanning himself, Melchiah grabbed Zephon by the ear and literally dragged him off the stage. Oh yeah, that coffee pot would be put to good use!)
Vorador: (looking out at the crowd and staring daggers at Moebius) A jealous hood, a jealous hood! (three servants come in carrying spits and pieces of wood) Now, fellow,
What's there?
First servant: I dunno.
Second servant: Cook ordered it.
Third servant: Gonna cook that human good tonight!
Vorador: (looking at the stupid servants) I will kill you all later when I have the chance. Make haste, make haste. (first servant leaves) Sirrah, fetch drier logs:
Call Peter, he will show thee where they are.
Second servant: I have a head, sir, that will find out logs,
And never trouble Peter for the matter.
(Leaves)
Vorador: Mass, and well said; a merry whoreson, ha!
Thou shalt be logger-head. Good faith, 'tis day:
The county will be here with music straight,
For so he said he would: I hear him near.
Some guy called Peter: My mother was not a street walker you idiot!
(Music begins to play, once again from the recording. Sebastian, Faustus and Marcus are still bickering about which piece to play)
Vorador: Nurse! Wife! What, ho! What, nurse, I say!
(Zephon comes back in, a coffee pot over his head. Vorador steps back for a few moments, shocked to say the least. How the hell – and with the crowd wondering – did the lieutenant get a pot on his head)
Zephon: Don't … ask!
Vorador: Go waken Juliet, go and trim her up;
I'll go and chat with Paris: hie, make haste,
Make haste; the bridegroom he is come already:
Make haste, I say.
(Quickly, with the help of special effects, the scene changes to Juliet's bedchamber. Zephon kicks down the door, still with said coffee pot on his head ~ how can he breath? ~ and stomps over to the bed with a still form lying underneath the sheets)
Zephon: (voice horribly muffled by the pot) Mistress! what, mistress! Juliet! fast, I warrant her, she:
Why, lamb! why, lady! fie, you slug-a-bed!
Why, love, I say! madam! sweet-heart! why, bride!
What, not a word? you take your pennyworths now;
Sleep for a week; for the next night, I warrant,
The County Paris hath set up his rest,
That you shall rest but little. God forgive me,
Marry, and amen, how sound is she asleep!
I must needs wake her. Madam, madam, madam!
Ay, let the county take you in your bed;
He'll fright you up, i' faith. Will it not be? (measured silence) Get the hell out of the bed!!!
(He yanks back the sheets dramatically, showing the 'dead' body of Ariel, who has her face set in a dramatic death-like face: tongue hanging out of her mouth, one hand clutching her chest, the other spread wide, her one eye rolled into the back of her head)
Zephon: I bet I'll get blamed for this. (starts screaming) Help, help, help! (screams some more; really authentic and no one can decide wether it's because of the dress and how it is too tight or because Zephon never actually hit puberty)
(Melchiah rushes into the room, but unfortunatly went a little too fast and his shoe caught on the rug. He goes sailing over Zephon and lands on the bed, right on top of Ariel. Having a heavy person on top of you is no fun and with Ariel holding her breath, the job just got harder)
Melchiah: (grabbing Ariel by the shoulders and shaking her) O me, O me! My child, my only life,
Revive, look up, or I will die with thee!
Help, help! Call help.
(Then Vorador rushes into the room and hits the rug as well. So he goes sailing onto the bed, and crashes onto Melchiah, who once again crushes Ariel)
Zephon: She's dead, she's dead!
Ariel: (whsipering) I will be dead again if everyone keeps falling onto me!
Vorador: Ha! let me see her: out, alas! she's cold:
Her blood is settled, and her joints are stiff;
Life and these lips have long been separated:
Death lies on her like an untimely frost
Upon the sweetest flower of all the field.
(While Vorador and Melchiah are both wailing on and on about how Juliet has died, Rahab, Malek, Sebastian, Faustus and Marcus all enter the room too)
Faustus: I. Hate. This.
Marcus: Shut up.
Sebastian: Should we get on the bed too?
Marcus: Might as well.
(And so the five jumped up onto the bed too, which was beginning to creak under the strain of it all. Rahab stood up and began to speak his lines while Faustus took a pillow and began hitting Vorador over the head with it just because there was nothing else to do)
Rahab: Come, is the bride ready to go to church?
Vorador: (yanking the pillow from Faustus and punching him in the face) Ready to go, but never to return.
O son! the night before thy wedding-day
Hath Death lain with thy wife. There she lies,
Flower as she was, deflowered by him.
Death is my son-in-law, Death is my heir;
My daughter he hath wedded: I will die,
And leave him all; life, living, all is Death's.
Malek: (dangling from the canopy) Have I thought long to see this morning's face,
And doth it give me such a sight as this?
Melchiah: Accursed, unhappy, wretched, hateful day!
Most miserable hour that e'er time saw
In lasting labour of his pilgrimage!
But one, poor one, one poor and loving child,
But one thing to rejoice and solace in,
And cruel death hath catch'd it from my sight!
(The bed begins to creak and groan and everyone can plainly see that the floor underneath is beginning to bow beneath them)
Malek: Beguiled, divorced, wronged, spited, slain!
Most detestable death, by thee beguil'd,
By cruel cruel thee quite overthrown!
O love! O life! not life, but love in death!
Vorador: (hugging Malek and sobbing) Despised, distressed, hated, martyr'd, kill'd!
Uncomfortable time, why camest thou now
To murder, murder our solemnity?
O child! O child! my soul, and not my child!
Dead art thou! Alack! my child is dead;
And with my child my joys are buried.
(Both then realize that they're actually hugging, look disgusted and throw each other away from...well each other)
Rahab: (bouncing up and down on the bed) Peace, ho, for shame! confusion's cure lives not
In these confusions. Heaven and yourself
Had part in this fair maid; now heaven hath all,
And all the better is it for the maid:
Your part in her you could not keep from death,
But heaven keeps his part in eternal life.
The most you sought was her promotion;
For 'twas your heaven she should be advanced:
And weep ye now, seeing she is advanced
Above the clouds, as high as heaven itself?
O, in this love, you love your child so ill,
That you run mad, seeing that she is well:
She's not well married that lives married long;
But she's best married that dies married young.
Dry up your tears, and stick your rosemary...
(The bed begins to creak even more, and drop ever lower. The wooden floor groans and some cracks are beginning to appear)
Sebastian: Shut up already!
Vorador: Shut up! I have my lines to go through still! All things that we ordained festival,
Turn from their office to black funeral;
Our instruments to melancholy bells,
Our wedding cheer to a sad burial feast,
Our solemn hymns to sullen dirges change,
Our bridal flowers serve for a buried corse,
And all things change them to the contrary.
Rahab: Sir, go you in; and, madam, go with him;
And go, Sir Paris; every one prepare
To follow this fair corse unto her grave:
The heavens do lour upon you for some ill;
Move them no more by crossing their high will.
(So Vorador, Malek, Melchiah and Rahab jump off the bed, leaving Ariel, who is now looking less dignified dead and more ... more ... whatever! They all leave the scene and the bed and the floor, which had been about to go under, stopped. Marcus, Faustus and Sebastian, who only had read their lines 4 minutes in advance, look around for assistance)
Faustus: so do we play or something?
Zephon: I don't know!
Marcus: Seems inappropriate.
(Suddenly the Some guy called Peter walks in)
Peter: Musicians, O, musicians, 'Heart's ease, Heart's
ease:' O, an you will have me live, play 'Heart's ease.'
Sebastian: why that song? I'm not singing; I played the electric guitar.
Faustus: I don't sing either. And we don't take requests!
Some guy called Peter: O, musicians, because my heart itself plays 'My
heart is full of woe:' O, play me some merry dump,
to comfort me.
Marcus: If you don't stop whining, we are going to dump on you!
Some guy called Peter: So you won't play.
Sebastian: (flatly) No.
Some guy called Peter: Not even one little ditty?
Faustus: Go away.
Marcus: Maybe we should get off the bed. We're arguing over music with a young, dead girl on the bed. This is kind of twisted.
Some guy called Peter: If I pay you, will you play for me?
Faustus: Look, we don't so requests. We don't play for money. We use to make music because we enjoyed it but thanks to companies killing our musical potential, we don't want to sing, play, dance or do any other crap like that anymore!
Sebastian: Is this scene over yet?
Marcus: Who cares, let's kill him!
(And as the three vampires jump-attacked Some guy called Peter, the curtain fell and the 4th Act had finally concluded. As everyone filed out for refreshments and going to the washroom – dear god, who doesn't have to go? – the Elder God agreed with the Sarafan Lord that this act was one of the more weirder ones. Some guy called Peter was drained of his blood and the vampire trio, sated at last, went back to their seats, vowing revenge on Anamae)
Suzu: No you guys won't!
Faustus: How did you know what we were planning?
Suzu: Narration, of course!
Marcus: Must. Kill. Narrator.
Raziel: Dad, no one can forget you. Well perhaps because my hordes of fangirls are almost the same size as yours so perhaps.....(Kain gives him a dangerous look)...nothing!
(Vorador, who is now dressed in Capulet's clothing – and Janos is still knocked out – comes up to Anamae who is drinking a whole pot of Colombian coffee mixed in with some of Dumah's beer)
Vorador: Suggestion, my dear.
Anamae: (jittery) Yesssssssss?
Vorador: We could put scenes 4 and 5 together?
Anamae: (downs a mouthful) Do you remember what happened last time?
Vorador: Yes. A fairie careened through the place, Kain was found upside down with his underwear hanging on by a thread, Dumah nearly attacked Raziel and the special effects as I recall were rather good.
Anamae: ... Screw it, I just want the night to be over with either way. (Finishes the coffee and hands the pot to Turel) Here, a present for you. (Walks off)
Turel: Hmm, a coffee pot. Devious and evil plots are swirling in my mind now....(walks off to fulfill the evil things that one can do with a coffee pot)
(Anamae overturns a trunk that contains inside of it the lost treasure of the Ancients, then stands up on it. Raising her hands to her lips, she begins to shout out orders)
Anamae: Because this is already flooging the dead horse over numerous times, and because the night is going on and on and on, and because the body coutn is rising and the fire in the upper levels hasn't been put out and might be the death of us all, we're gonna put scenes 4 and 5 together again to finish off the 4th act all that much faster.
(Everyone begins to groan)
Dumah: You remember what happened last time!
Anamae: You're not even technically alive anymore! You get no vote.
Dumah: Still....
Anamae: I'll need Melchiah, Zephon, Vorador, a servant or 4, Rahab, Malek, a musician and 2 more and some guy called Peter to play these roles.
Some guy called Peter: I'll play that part!
Anamae: Okay good! Now for musicians! (looks around) ...who ate them?
(Umah raises a hand and smiles sheepishly)
Umah: I couldn't help it. I was hungry and they were there and they were playing such fine music that –
Anamae: We need to find new musicians!
(She jumps off the trunk and exits the stage, jumps down into the audience and looks around. Finding her targets she walked up to them and gave a huge grin)
Anamae: Sebastian, Marcus, Faustus!
Marcus: What?
Sebastian: Why are you grinning like that?
Faustus: Why do I have the sudden urge to flee?
Anamae: You guys use to play in a band, right?
(13 minutes and one dead usher later)
Sebastian: I refuse to go out dressed as a 14th century musician! I demand to speak to the Vampires Rights Guild.
Faustus: (looking at his hat) Why do these stupid hats have feathers in them?
Marcus: I hate wearing these tights.
Umah: In you're other outfit you wore tights. What's the differance?
Marcus: They weren't striped tights!
(At that moment Kain walks by and sees the 'musicians'. He gives something of a scream, then starts laughing as he sees them in the puffy shirts, the colourful vests and the tight tights)
Kain: (laughing) You all look like the idiots that you are.
Sebastian: I'm going to brain you! (raises the lute over his head)
(Kain gave a yelp and raced behind Aname, who unfortunatly received the full force of Sebastian's smashing of the lute. She stood there for a few moments, swaying from side to side, then looked at Umah and said)
Anamae: Start the show. (falls to the ground, out cold ... again)
* * *
(The curtain rises to reveal a hall in the Capulet mansion. This hall is special than all the other ones because it is not put into the stylings of the 14th century. Made by the Nosgoth schoolchildren of the daycare center next door, it has vampires, humans, hylden, Seraphim and werewolves killing the bunny all drawn along the walls or made with colourful paint. The other hall that the director had planned to use never arrived because it had never been cut out from the Sanctuary of the Clans itself. But all the same it still looks nice. Zephon and Melchiah walk out onto the stage, the younger of the brothers fanning himself and looking very pompous because Turel had just given him an evil coffee pot that he would later smash over Zephon's head)
Melchiah: (hands Zephon some keys) Hold, take these keys, and fetch more spices, nurse.
Zephon: (mutters) Why do I have to take the keys? They call for dates and quinces in the pastry, milady.
(A soundtrack is quickly played: sounds from a kitchen can be heard in the background with a french chef singing about killing a crab and stuffing him with bread. Then Vorador breezes in, looking somehow very dashing no matter what. He knows he can play the part of Capulet well enough, and cannot wait to show everyone else what he thinks of himself)
Vorador: (coming from the kitchen) Come, stir, stir, stir! the second cock hath crow'd,
The curfew-bell hath rung, 'tis three o'clock:
Look to the baked meats, good Angelica:
Spare not for the cost.
(In the audience)
Nupraptor: Wait a minute! What happened to Janos?
Mortanius: Don't you remember? Because of the mob he was knocked out and Vorador had to play the part!
Moebius: He thinks he so big just because he has a couple of wives and I don't and that he has a mansion and I don't and that he's better-looking than me and I'm not! (everyone looks at him) What?
(Back onstage)
Zephon: (still muttering curses to himself) Go, you cot-quean, go,
Get you to bed; faith, You'll be sick to-morrow
For this night's watching.
Vorador: (flashing his teeth) No, not a whit: what! I have watch'd ere now
All night for lesser cause, and ne'er been sick. I'm one of the few healthy undead!
Zephon: (muttering) Screw you and Melchiah both, I want out of here now. This scene doesn't make any sense; why bother the viewer with something this stupid?
Melchiah: Ay, you have been a mouse-hunt in your time;
But I will watch you from such watching now.
(Still fanning himself, Melchiah grabbed Zephon by the ear and literally dragged him off the stage. Oh yeah, that coffee pot would be put to good use!)
Vorador: (looking out at the crowd and staring daggers at Moebius) A jealous hood, a jealous hood! (three servants come in carrying spits and pieces of wood) Now, fellow,
What's there?
First servant: I dunno.
Second servant: Cook ordered it.
Third servant: Gonna cook that human good tonight!
Vorador: (looking at the stupid servants) I will kill you all later when I have the chance. Make haste, make haste. (first servant leaves) Sirrah, fetch drier logs:
Call Peter, he will show thee where they are.
Second servant: I have a head, sir, that will find out logs,
And never trouble Peter for the matter.
(Leaves)
Vorador: Mass, and well said; a merry whoreson, ha!
Thou shalt be logger-head. Good faith, 'tis day:
The county will be here with music straight,
For so he said he would: I hear him near.
Some guy called Peter: My mother was not a street walker you idiot!
(Music begins to play, once again from the recording. Sebastian, Faustus and Marcus are still bickering about which piece to play)
Vorador: Nurse! Wife! What, ho! What, nurse, I say!
(Zephon comes back in, a coffee pot over his head. Vorador steps back for a few moments, shocked to say the least. How the hell – and with the crowd wondering – did the lieutenant get a pot on his head)
Zephon: Don't … ask!
Vorador: Go waken Juliet, go and trim her up;
I'll go and chat with Paris: hie, make haste,
Make haste; the bridegroom he is come already:
Make haste, I say.
(Quickly, with the help of special effects, the scene changes to Juliet's bedchamber. Zephon kicks down the door, still with said coffee pot on his head ~ how can he breath? ~ and stomps over to the bed with a still form lying underneath the sheets)
Zephon: (voice horribly muffled by the pot) Mistress! what, mistress! Juliet! fast, I warrant her, she:
Why, lamb! why, lady! fie, you slug-a-bed!
Why, love, I say! madam! sweet-heart! why, bride!
What, not a word? you take your pennyworths now;
Sleep for a week; for the next night, I warrant,
The County Paris hath set up his rest,
That you shall rest but little. God forgive me,
Marry, and amen, how sound is she asleep!
I must needs wake her. Madam, madam, madam!
Ay, let the county take you in your bed;
He'll fright you up, i' faith. Will it not be? (measured silence) Get the hell out of the bed!!!
(He yanks back the sheets dramatically, showing the 'dead' body of Ariel, who has her face set in a dramatic death-like face: tongue hanging out of her mouth, one hand clutching her chest, the other spread wide, her one eye rolled into the back of her head)
Zephon: I bet I'll get blamed for this. (starts screaming) Help, help, help! (screams some more; really authentic and no one can decide wether it's because of the dress and how it is too tight or because Zephon never actually hit puberty)
(Melchiah rushes into the room, but unfortunatly went a little too fast and his shoe caught on the rug. He goes sailing over Zephon and lands on the bed, right on top of Ariel. Having a heavy person on top of you is no fun and with Ariel holding her breath, the job just got harder)
Melchiah: (grabbing Ariel by the shoulders and shaking her) O me, O me! My child, my only life,
Revive, look up, or I will die with thee!
Help, help! Call help.
(Then Vorador rushes into the room and hits the rug as well. So he goes sailing onto the bed, and crashes onto Melchiah, who once again crushes Ariel)
Zephon: She's dead, she's dead!
Ariel: (whsipering) I will be dead again if everyone keeps falling onto me!
Vorador: Ha! let me see her: out, alas! she's cold:
Her blood is settled, and her joints are stiff;
Life and these lips have long been separated:
Death lies on her like an untimely frost
Upon the sweetest flower of all the field.
(While Vorador and Melchiah are both wailing on and on about how Juliet has died, Rahab, Malek, Sebastian, Faustus and Marcus all enter the room too)
Faustus: I. Hate. This.
Marcus: Shut up.
Sebastian: Should we get on the bed too?
Marcus: Might as well.
(And so the five jumped up onto the bed too, which was beginning to creak under the strain of it all. Rahab stood up and began to speak his lines while Faustus took a pillow and began hitting Vorador over the head with it just because there was nothing else to do)
Rahab: Come, is the bride ready to go to church?
Vorador: (yanking the pillow from Faustus and punching him in the face) Ready to go, but never to return.
O son! the night before thy wedding-day
Hath Death lain with thy wife. There she lies,
Flower as she was, deflowered by him.
Death is my son-in-law, Death is my heir;
My daughter he hath wedded: I will die,
And leave him all; life, living, all is Death's.
Malek: (dangling from the canopy) Have I thought long to see this morning's face,
And doth it give me such a sight as this?
Melchiah: Accursed, unhappy, wretched, hateful day!
Most miserable hour that e'er time saw
In lasting labour of his pilgrimage!
But one, poor one, one poor and loving child,
But one thing to rejoice and solace in,
And cruel death hath catch'd it from my sight!
(The bed begins to creak and groan and everyone can plainly see that the floor underneath is beginning to bow beneath them)
Malek: Beguiled, divorced, wronged, spited, slain!
Most detestable death, by thee beguil'd,
By cruel cruel thee quite overthrown!
O love! O life! not life, but love in death!
Vorador: (hugging Malek and sobbing) Despised, distressed, hated, martyr'd, kill'd!
Uncomfortable time, why camest thou now
To murder, murder our solemnity?
O child! O child! my soul, and not my child!
Dead art thou! Alack! my child is dead;
And with my child my joys are buried.
(Both then realize that they're actually hugging, look disgusted and throw each other away from...well each other)
Rahab: (bouncing up and down on the bed) Peace, ho, for shame! confusion's cure lives not
In these confusions. Heaven and yourself
Had part in this fair maid; now heaven hath all,
And all the better is it for the maid:
Your part in her you could not keep from death,
But heaven keeps his part in eternal life.
The most you sought was her promotion;
For 'twas your heaven she should be advanced:
And weep ye now, seeing she is advanced
Above the clouds, as high as heaven itself?
O, in this love, you love your child so ill,
That you run mad, seeing that she is well:
She's not well married that lives married long;
But she's best married that dies married young.
Dry up your tears, and stick your rosemary...
(The bed begins to creak even more, and drop ever lower. The wooden floor groans and some cracks are beginning to appear)
Sebastian: Shut up already!
Vorador: Shut up! I have my lines to go through still! All things that we ordained festival,
Turn from their office to black funeral;
Our instruments to melancholy bells,
Our wedding cheer to a sad burial feast,
Our solemn hymns to sullen dirges change,
Our bridal flowers serve for a buried corse,
And all things change them to the contrary.
Rahab: Sir, go you in; and, madam, go with him;
And go, Sir Paris; every one prepare
To follow this fair corse unto her grave:
The heavens do lour upon you for some ill;
Move them no more by crossing their high will.
(So Vorador, Malek, Melchiah and Rahab jump off the bed, leaving Ariel, who is now looking less dignified dead and more ... more ... whatever! They all leave the scene and the bed and the floor, which had been about to go under, stopped. Marcus, Faustus and Sebastian, who only had read their lines 4 minutes in advance, look around for assistance)
Faustus: so do we play or something?
Zephon: I don't know!
Marcus: Seems inappropriate.
(Suddenly the Some guy called Peter walks in)
Peter: Musicians, O, musicians, 'Heart's ease, Heart's
ease:' O, an you will have me live, play 'Heart's ease.'
Sebastian: why that song? I'm not singing; I played the electric guitar.
Faustus: I don't sing either. And we don't take requests!
Some guy called Peter: O, musicians, because my heart itself plays 'My
heart is full of woe:' O, play me some merry dump,
to comfort me.
Marcus: If you don't stop whining, we are going to dump on you!
Some guy called Peter: So you won't play.
Sebastian: (flatly) No.
Some guy called Peter: Not even one little ditty?
Faustus: Go away.
Marcus: Maybe we should get off the bed. We're arguing over music with a young, dead girl on the bed. This is kind of twisted.
Some guy called Peter: If I pay you, will you play for me?
Faustus: Look, we don't so requests. We don't play for money. We use to make music because we enjoyed it but thanks to companies killing our musical potential, we don't want to sing, play, dance or do any other crap like that anymore!
Sebastian: Is this scene over yet?
Marcus: Who cares, let's kill him!
(And as the three vampires jump-attacked Some guy called Peter, the curtain fell and the 4th Act had finally concluded. As everyone filed out for refreshments and going to the washroom – dear god, who doesn't have to go? – the Elder God agreed with the Sarafan Lord that this act was one of the more weirder ones. Some guy called Peter was drained of his blood and the vampire trio, sated at last, went back to their seats, vowing revenge on Anamae)
Suzu: No you guys won't!
Faustus: How did you know what we were planning?
Suzu: Narration, of course!
Marcus: Must. Kill. Narrator.