It was the final intermission. And now for an update of what is exactly happening at the Nosgoth Theatre House.
- People want to kill Janos
- People want to kill Kain
- People want to kill Moebius/Nupraptor/other Guardians
- People want to kill Anamae
- Rahab is a mess because he's going to end the love story
- Dumah is pissed off because his grand finale was less than grand as he was cut up
- A lot of other things happened
- The Elder God and Sarafan Lord that this whole play is downright weird
- Zephon is thinking about buying himself some skirts
And yes, the most important factor:
- The closet that Anamae lit up with a torch to clean it out because of Kain and Ariel is still burning
**UPDATE** Sorry, the fire is now out of control, seeping out from under the closet and into the halls of the second floor.
Sarafan Lord: (Sitting in his seat) Jeeves, I want my food. (No answer) Jeeves? Jeeves?!
(The butler comes in from the hallway, smoke pouring from the door)
Jeeves the Butler: Sire, the floor is on fire! The floor is on fire!
Sarafan Lord: Shut up and get me a filet mingon. I'm hungry!
Jeeves the Butler: But that means I have to go out into the hall, and it's on fire sire!!!!
Sarafan Lord: And I should be concerned...why?!
Jeeves the Butler: Because I am your servant and I won't be much good dead.
Sarafan Lord: But there are millions more like you out there...
Jeeves the Butler: (Holds up his left arm which is aflame) Sire, could you throw some water on me?
Sarafan Lord: (Still musing) And they're not as long-winded as you are...
Jeeves the Butler: I'm being burned, sire, very badly.
Sarafan Lord: I think I would prefer a maid next time round...
Jeeves the Butler: Could you call an ambulance? I think I'm getting third degree burns...
Sarafan Lord: Why do all humans whine so much? From babies until the grave, all your kind does is complain and – Jeeves, did you realize that you're on fire?
(Jeeves is now running around wildly, the rest of his butler's suit flaming up around him. The Sarafan Lord watches this display for a few minutes, nodding to himself on just how stupid humans could be, or most of them. Jeeves gives one last scream as he goes up as a human torch, hits the railing and flies off the balcony and into the seats below)
Suzu: (Shouts up) Hey, stop tossing your junk down here! (Throws Jeeves body back up)
Sarafan Lord: I will toss it where I feel like it. (Throws the remains in Jeeves onto the stage)
(At that moment Melchiah walked out, saw the body and his eyes lit up. He dragged the once-living body of Jeeves off the stage, happy in the fact that now he could make a nice pair of boots to go with the gloves from the skin of the actor formerly known as Benvolio. Then the Sarafan Lord noticed that the fire, as Jeeves had said, was very close indeed)
Sarafan Lord: (Waves his arms around) Back flames, back!
(The flames didn't listen and the little disco inferno demons inside began to dance even more, turning up the heat. The chairs began to melt – and even the Sarafan Lord's throne – as well as his snack cart. Then a small fire demon jumped onto the Hylden's cloak, setting it on fire too)
Fire demon: All in a day's work!
(So the Sarafan Lord began screaming as he tried to take of his cape while running back and forth while the smoke spilled into the balcony seats. Of course, everyone was out getting their snacks and did not see the flames. As for the people backstage, there was a curtain in the way, so they saw nothing at all)
Anamae: Vorador, are you sure you'll be able to play Montague and Capulet together? Not that I'm doubting your talents, but the lines and the changing of the clothes...
Vorador: I can handle it. Janos will be out for the rest of the night (points to Janos who is propped up beside the director) so I must finish his role. It would be the way he wanted things.
Anamae: I see. (Turns to Kain and Ariel) You guys ready?
Ariel: To play dead? I don't need to, I'm already dead if you hadn't noticed!
Anamae: Yeesh, fine, fine!
Kain: So I just kill myself with the dagger, right? And it's collapsible, the prop? Knowing the first director and how she said she wanted everything real, I want to check it out to make sure. (Goes off)
Anamae: All right, Rahab how're you keeping up?
Rahab: (Staring off into space)
Anamae: (Grins) You'll do well.
Sarafan Lord: (On the balcony) FIRE~!
Anamae: Yes, someone really does agree with me that this play with be a fire! A success! Something that everyone will enjoy.
Sarafan Lord: (Voice carrying) Call the fire department!
Anamae: (Grinning at Vorador) I don't think we need to do that. After all, the play's not literally on fire. (Sees Melchiah dragging a roasted body behind him) Where did that come from?
(In the lobby)
Sebastian: I want blood.
Rabbit: (sniff sniff)
Sebastian: Do you understand you little bunny, you bringer of allergies and dust bunnies, one who procreates faster than we can actually eat you? I want blood! First I am part of a play that I despise and now I am talking to a rabbit as if it really knows what I am saying.
Rabbit: (Offers a carrot instead of blood)
Marcus: Why is there a rabbit manning the food booth?
Faustus: I think it's because the young king and that black demon decides to call it quits and go fishing instead. (Rabbit hands Faustus a paper) Yeah, it's a note.
Marcus: Well, read it then.
Faustus: Fine, just let me give the notice to everyone as well. (The rabbit gives Faustus the stool he was sitting on, and then the little cotton tail hops off happily) Excuse me, everyone!
(All the people who were waiting for food – a lot more than last time – all stop their babbling and look in the gypsy vampire's direction)
Someone related to the Guy Called Peter: Hey, it's Faustus and it looks like he's about to say something important!
Faustus: Yes, I am. The people who have manned the booth have left a note so if you'll all shut up then I will read it.
Elder God: Hurry up!
Dejoule: I need my tic tacs!
Faustus: 'I and Hash'ak'git have gone off fishing and have left the booth in the care of Cottontail, the little rabbit. Please pay him the money and take your refreshments. Signed, William the Just.'
Marcus: (Evil grin) But Cottontail went away-
Sebastian: And we don't need to pay-
Bane: We can take what we want-
Moebius: And get away with it!
Everyone in the lobby: FREE FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!
(Everyone stampeded forwards, crushing those who didn't get out of the way in time. Faustus went down under the sea of feet, as well as Moebius, a few Sarafan, one or three vampires from the Razielim clan, and more than enough Seraphim were trampled as well.)
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(When the smoke cleared, all that was left of the stand was a pile of broken wood, empty boxes, discarded pieces of candy wrappers, the slushy machine was jammed with someone in it, and to top things off someone had stolen all the money in the money box.)
Moebius: So does this mean we don't get any food?
Faustus: I HATE SHAKESPEARE AND I HATE THIS THEATRE AND I HOPE IT BURNS TO THE GROUND!
Razielim vampire: Let's go back to your seats.
(And as they all wandered back to their spots to see the final act of "Romeo and Juliet" no one saw the smoke drift down from the second floor and fill up the large lobby...)
(Backstage)
Anamae: (Looks at the entire surviving cast of opening night) Okay, this is the final act. We need to go out there and do better than all the other previous acts. We have all had our differences, but we managed to pull through despite some difficulties. Now before the curtain rolls back for the final time, I would like to lead everyone in a small prayer.
Kain: Why?
Anamae: Because we need a prayer. Come on, everyone get down on one knee, or in Ariel's case just float.
(Everyone gets down on one knee, some trying to look solemn while others, namely Turel, is not trying to laugh at the cheesiness of it all)
Anamae: Oh God of Theatre, hallowed be thy Theatreish name (gets a few looks from the cast) please let this last scene go off well, and quickly, without any farce to it. Please let it be over with painlessly. May the words fly swiftly, the actors steps be true, Rahab to come out of his comatose state and accept the fact he is a killer (Rahab begins to cry again) and let the audience leave without any more loss of life tonight.
Vorador: Is it over?
Umah: I think so. (Shrugs)
Anamae: It is. PLAY BALL! Act 5, scene 1 here we come. Opening in the street called Mantua!!!!!