To my dear reviewers…….
unchained- yay! Another one for RuMit! XP~~~ personally, I think the 2 of them are sooooooo compatible….somehow ^^;; or maybe I'm just biased. haha. anyhow, SenRu? me? write? nah. firstly, I can't write that. secondly, even if I did, it'll be horrid. I'm no fan of senru so a fic by me would be too…..unnatural. ^^;; um, that the right word? demo! I love sen and ru! just not the pairing. don't get me wrong ne?
hitora-san- aw, you flatterer. *blush* haha, knew you'd like that. hana's so adorable- how can he NOT make an appearance?!!!
megane-chan- lol. you should know better than anyone how slow Rukawa is in making a move. I can die and resurrect five million times before he does anything that even vaguely resembles a hint. lol. not! ^^
hisashi loves yelen- and we wonder why Hisashi loves you. *huggles*
baka kitsune- I love mitchy too! So does hisashi loves yelen! who doesn't? anyone in their right mind would! XP~~
aki midori- awfully Rukawa-like you sound. hee hee. thanks for the encouragement! *huggles*
jess-miranda- yes, I'm sorry to disappoint but you're right. senru doesn't count here. heh. I'm awfully biased. it has to be mitsui, mitsui, and mitsui. ^^\/
twilight dawn- why thank you! he is isn't he? WHEN is mitsui hisashi not hot(and hilarious)? ^^
qkslvr- well that's tough. um, mitsui eien is mitchy's dad. more about him in future chapters. lol. wish I could fight for mitchy as well *sigh*
ruhana-grl1123- yup, I understood. ^^\/ I'm very clever you know.
tensai yuki- yep. it was from ayashi no ceres. lol. easily identifiable ne? I don't know why but I REALLY like the song. and mitchy singing it? *swoon*
and here, I present to you…… chapter 5. tell me if it sucks.
Mitsui picked up the phone as he stuffed another helping of pancakes down his throat.
"Mmmossshhi mmoshhhhi," he mumbled into the receiver, forcing the food down his throat.
"Mitsui-san? Why are you talking like that?" came an amused voice over the line.
"mmph'mm pheatin' panckakesth that'sth why."
"Huh?"
Mitsui swallowed the last of his breakfast and cleared his throat before replying. "I'm eating pancakes."
"Oh." The voice was silent awhile. Then, "Mitsui-san, you haven't answered me yet. Want to play one-on-one today?"
"One-on-one? Sounds good. You set the time and place. I'm free the whole day."
Sendoh perked up significantly at this. "Why don't we meet around four? At the park. That okay?"
"Four at the park. Got it. Who's bringing the ball?"
"Oh I will, not to worry."
"I'm not worrying, I assure you," came the slightly amused reply.
"R-right," Sendoh answered. Mitsui smiled at his tone of voice.
"See you at four then. Jya." Mitsui replaced the phone in its cradle and resumed eating. He didn't notice that he was being stared at till midway through his next course.
"What?" he asked the boy, "There something on my face?"
Rukawa answered stoically with a question of his own. "Who was that?"
"That? Oh the caller?" Mitsui gulped down the glass of orange juice, "Sendoh."
There was a flicker of something in the younger boy's eyes. Mitsui wasn't too sure what it was so he asked.
"What's wrong with Sendoh?"
Rukawa stood up suddenly, startling him. Without replying, he walked to his room and closed the door. Mitsui stared after him.
"Correction. What's wrong with him?"
'Stupid Sendoh. Why must he always want what I want? Why must he fight with me over every thing? Worse, why do I sound like I'm jealous?' Rukawa sighed in frustration. This was hopeless.
'Maybe because you are?' that annoying voice again.
'Not you. Can't you get lost for good?'
'Who me? Nope. Sorry.'
Rukawa glared at his reflection in the mirror.
'There's no point glaring. It's not like you're going to make me disappear by doing that,' the voice taunted, 'why don't you try it on someone else instead? Like maybe…… say…… Sendoh?'
Rukawa's eyes narrowed. 'You stay out of this.'
'I can't. See, I'm very much concerned with your welfare. Besides, it's fun to watch you struggle.'
'I'm not struggling!' he hissed angrily.
'Keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll start to believe it.'
'Go to hell.'
'Yare yare~~~~'
Rukawa ran his fingers through his hair. Why was he so bothered with what Mitsui did? It didn't make sense. Yes, he had done a good deed by letting the other boy crash his place but that didn't mean he was now entangled in his sempai's life. Far from it.
'Why don't you just admit that you're starting to care about him?'
'I don't care about anyone!' Rukawa insisted stubbornly.
'Yeah? Why'd you let him stay here then? Why'd you help him out? Why'd you get angry when Sendoh wanted to talk to him? Why're you getting restless knowing he's in the next room probably thinking about Sendoh? Huh? Ever thought of that?' the voice challenged.
'Shut up!'
'I can't and I won't till you face the truth Rukawa.'
'There's no truth! I don't care about anyone and I most certainly do not care about HIM!'
'Whatever Rukawa, whatever you say.'
His inner voice disappeared, but still he felt uneasy.
"I don't care about anyone. I don't. And I don't care what happens to him." He told himself firmly.
Mitsui lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was still early….. not even eleven yet. He sighed, rolled over and picked up the phone.
Punching in some numbers, he waited for someone to pick up.
"Moshi moshi?"
Mitsui breathed in sharply but didn't say a word.
"Moshi moshi? Moshi moshi?" the person repeated.
Mitsui covered the mouthpiece so his breathing wouldn't be heard.
"Is this a prank call? If it is, it isn't very good," the voice said annoyed, "my son plays better pranks."
Mitsui felt a sharp jab in his heart. He wanted so very much to say something, but he was too much of a coward.
"I'm hanging up." The line went dead. Mitsui held the phone to his ear a while longer, listening to the sharp beeping of the phone. Then, pulling himself together, he pressed the flash button and dialed another number.
"Rukawa? Aren't you hungry?" Mitsui knocked on his door. There was no reply. Without any hesitation, he entered.
"Oi, Rukawa. Wake up you sleepyhead." He shook the sleeping boy gently. Rukawa groaned and an arm shot out, missing Mitsui's head by inches. "Whoa. You have quite an aim there," he said, amused.
The boy continued to snore.
Mitsui sighed in resignation. Well, he did try.
Sendoh waited anxiously for his arrival. They had promised to meet at four but he'd been there since a quarter to three. Just in case Mitsui-san came early.
It was now half past four. Still no sign of the boy. Sendoh's shoulders slumped. Mitsui-san was not coming.
"What're you brooding over?" came an all too familiar voice.
Sendoh brightened in an instant. "Mitsui-san! You're late!" he chided playfully.
"I know. Sorry." Mitsui grinned toothily.
"Don't worry about it. So, ready to play?"
Mitsui smirked. "Of course. And don't regret it later that you insisted on playing."
"Who's regretting?"
They grinned at each other.
Mitsui stopped to catch his breath. He was panting heavily. "Don't you ever get tired?" he asked his opponent.
Sendoh smiled, sweat glistening all over his face and body. "Of course I do. Doesn't everyone?"
Mitsui wheezed. "You don't look very tired to me."
"Maybe it's got something to do with my temper."
Mitsui raised an eyebrow. "Explain."
"Well, I don't break out in a string of curses whenever you score."
Mitsui's eye twitched. "Say that again?"
Sendoh grinned. "I'm no fool Mitsui-san. I'm not going to give you a reason to beat me up."
Mitsui tried to suppress a smile. "Try me."
"Nope. Like I said, I'm no fool. I'd like to keep my face the way it is, thank you very much."
"Whatever Sendoh."
The younger boy grinned. "No one's ever beaten me when it comes to vocal paring."
"Whatever Sendoh."
"See? Even you can't beat me, Mitsui-san."
"As you like Sendoh."
"It's a talent I've learned to nurture so—hey! You play dirty Mitsui-san!" he dashed after the laughing boy.
"Now I'm really tired," Sendoh remarked, lying on the ground.
"mmmmm…." mumbled Mitsui, half asleep.
They'd played for three hours straight and both were exhausted. The sky had already darkened and the street lights were coming to life, one by one. Mitsui yawned.
"I'm sleepy….." he said groggily.
Sendoh turned his head to look at the boy. "Me too. Sort of. Well no."
Mitsui looked at him under half-lidded eyes. "Are you always so indecisive?"
"No. Well yes. Sometimes." Sendoh laughed. "There you go. My answer."
Mitsui smiled lazily. It was nice out. He'd never felt so carefree before. The night breeze was toying with his hair, the crickets were creaking (um, is that what they do? ^^;;) and something soft was brushing against his lips.
'Probably a butterfly,' he thought indulgently. Then changed his mind almost immediately.
'Butterflies don't sigh,' he realized.
It was Sendoh.
"Sendoh?" he asked, "may I know what the hell you're doing?"
"Can't you tell?" murmured the other boy, nuzzling his neck.
Mitsui felt something flutter inside him. He squirmed uneasily under Sendoh who had positioned himself conveniently on top of him.
"Stop it!" He whispered urgently. "This isn't supposed to happen!"
"Why not?" the younger boy replied, his hands roaming about.
"Because…… because…….well, because!" Mitsui had no idea why it wasn't supposed to happen either. It just felt sudden. Too sudden.
Sendoh ignored him.
Mitsui began to panic. He didn't know why, but he did. There was nothing wrong with what they were doing. He was unattached and had no commitments, and he DID like Sendoh a lot……but this was too overwhelming. Mitsui Hisashi didn't like this because he hadn't seen it coming, and Mitsui Hisashi liked things to go at his pace. He liked to be in control. If he couldn't be in control his solution was to….
"I'm sorry Sendoh." He shoved the other boy off him, grabbed his bag and left, leaving a bewildered and hurt Sendoh.
He was running away again. He always ran away.
Mitsui returned home looking bothered. Rukawa glanced up from the sofa where he'd been watching a basketball match and observed him in silence. Something had happened, he could sense it, and whatever it was couldn't be good. Mitsui was too quiet- he went straight to his room, dumped his bag and headed for the shower. He didn't even acknowledge his presence.
And he wasn't singing in the shower.
Yep, something had happened.
"Sempai?"
Mitsui snapped out his reverie as Rukawa appeared at the door.
"What."
"… … …"
"If there's nothing you want, I'd really appreciate it if you leave me alone. I'm not in the mood for socializing right now." Mitsui swore he saw Rukawa flinch at his reply, but he was too caught up with his thoughts to care.
Rukawa turned to leave without another word.
Mitsui wasn't sure why, but he felt a tug in his heart as the other boy departed. Just like that.
'You're a coward Mitsui Hisashi. The worst there is,' his inner voice mocked him, 'all you ever do is run away. You're weak and you're pathetic. You're the biggest loser I've ever known.'
'Shut up. Who're you to call me a coward when you're no better?' he argued.
'Ah, but that's where I'm different. See, I'm this little part of you that observes everything. You can't hide anything from me, Mitsui-san. I'm your conscience, your guilt, your pride and your doubt. There's nothing about you I don't know. And what I do know is that you're a coward. Nothing more.'
'Urusai! You've no right to call me a coward! And I don't give a shit who you are- even if you call yourself part of me! Just do me, and the world, a favor and get lost.'
'See, that's what I'm saying. You can't face the truth Mitsui-san. You're always running away. This self-denial that you have will eventually bring you down hard.'
'And what do you know?' Mitsui barked back savagely.
'Oh I know, Mitsui-san, I know. This is just another one of those instances where you choose to pretend that nothing has happened and carry on as if everything's fine and dandy. You ACT like everything's fine and dandy, and people THINK everything's fine and dandy with you, but I SO know. I know the turmoil that goes on inside you.'
Mitsui shivered involuntarily. 'You know too much for your own good.'
'What are you going to do then? You can't rid of your own demons Mitsui-san. You might as well get rid of yourself.'
'Maybe I will.'
'Ah, another evidence of your cowardice. Running away from everything now, aren't we? Too afraid to face the world, aren't you? What are you so afraid of Mitsui-san? Sendoh? Akagi? Okasaan? Otousaan?' taunted the voice.
'Urusai! I'm not afraid!'
'Of course you're not. You're just petrified.'
Mitsui flushed crimson. 'Some nerve you got accusing me!'
'But of course. I am you and you are me. I'm doing nothing more than pointing out my biggest flaw which is you.'
'You have no idea what I go through so you should just shut the hell up.'
'But I do, Mitsui-san. I go through EVERYTHING you go through. Only…… I don't run away like you do. That's our sole difference.'
'Sempai.' Rukawa was angry with himself. This wasn't right. Why was he so worried? He NEVER worried. At least not about anything that didn't concern himself. What was it about Mitsui that chose to make him worry? What was it about him that just screamed for his intervening? What?
'I should never have agreed to take him in. He only troubles me. I'll turn him out tomorrow,' vowed Rukawa.
'Can you really do that, Rukawa Kaede?' that voice again.
Rukawa firmed his resolve. 'I can.'
Koshino sighed yet again as Sendoh threatened to sniffle for the kazillionth time. There was no doubt about it- the idiot was most definitely hurt by Mitsui's violent reaction. He'd never seen the boy so upset before.
"It's probably for the best," he told the sniffling boy.
"How can it be for the best?" Sendoh said, hurt evident in his voice, "I've never been rejected so openly before."
"We're talking about Mitsui-san here, Sendoh. And if you're upset because it's the first time you've been rejected, then I suggest you go drown yourself right now. That's a stupid thing to worry about. Everyone gets rejected sometime in their life."
"I was hoping I wouldn't," replied Sendoh, "Demo saa Hiro-kun, you don't really think I'm upset over that do you?"
"No." 'Truth is,' thought Koshino, 'you really felt something genuine. That's why it hurts so much.'
"Does this mean you're my soul mate then?" joked Sendoh.
"Baka!" Koshino swatted him on the head. 'How can you still joke?'
"Ano, Hiro-kun, I guess I should move on, ne? It hurts to dwell on this," Sendoh turned serious again.
Koshino felt something leap in his throat. This was wrong. Very wrong. It wasn't like Sendoh at all. The Sendoh Akira he'd known all his life was so persistent it was downright annoying. He had to do something if he wanted to be free of a guilty conscience.
"Of course not you idiot," he managed to say first.
"Huh?"
Koshino struggled to find the right words. "You're going to give up just like that? You told me yourself how he reacted- which wasn't immediately. There was that hesitation you talked about. You're not going to stop now when you've only just begun are you?"
Sendoh mused the thought over, a frown creasing his handsome features. "Demo….." he began.
"If you give up, you're the biggest fool I ever knew." Koshino stood up and left, leaving behind a confused and bewildered Sendoh.
'It hurts, I know, but you can't run away, Sendoh. Only fools run away from what can be theirs if they tried.'
Koshino was right. He was so dead right it was scary. Sendoh found some amusement in how perceptive his friend could be, and how in-control he was. He knew how the other boy tried to act as if he couldn't care less, and appreciated it. And about giving up- he didn't know why, but there was this hesitation in him.
"I'm afraid," he realized with a start, "I'm afraid Mitsui-san might turn me down again." Sendoh smiled. "How amusing. I'm afraid of getting rejected by Mitsui Hisashi." He ran his fingers through his gelled hair. "Though I'm not quite sure why I'm so shaken up. It's just Mitsui-san."