(As the audience settles down for the shortest Act in the whole play, they either don't notice or care that the upper balcony is on fire, or that the Sarafan Lord is running around screaming and calling for 911. Even stranger, no one hears his screams. And stranger yet, the people onstage don't even see him as he's running around like a loon, so it goes to show that in Nosgoth you really have to do something big to grab attention and lighting yourself on fire isn't one of them)

(The scene opens up to a simple street in Mantua, the town in which Romeo had been banished to)

Kain: (Walks in from the left wing) If I may trust the flattering truth of sleep,
My dreams presage some joyful news at hand:
My bosom's lord sits lightly in his throne;
And all this day an unaccustom'd spirit
Lifts me above the ground with cheerful thoughts.
I dreamt my lady came and found me dead--
Strange dream, that gives a dead man leave
to think!--
And breathed such life with kisses in my lips,
That I revived, and was an emperor.
Ah me! how sweet is love itself possess'd,
When but love's shadows are so rich in joy!

(Out comes the actor known as Balthasar, who is another human who hopefully hopes that he won't die like the 3 Benvolio's have)

Kain: News from Verona!--How now, Balthasar!
Dost thou not bring me letters from the friar?
How doth my lady? Is my father well?
How fares my Juliet? that I ask again;
For nothing can be ill, if she be well.

Balthasar: Then she is well, and nothing can be ill:
Her body sleeps in Capel's monument,
And her immortal part with angels lives.
I saw her laid low in her kindred's vault,
And presently took post to tell it you:
O, pardon me for bringing these ill news,
Since you did leave it for my office, sir.

Kain: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (Rips open his shirt)

Anamae: (Rushes onstage) Not part of the script! Damn you Kain, Romeo doesn't act like that!

(Crickets chirp as the director in charge realize that this was an even bigger flaw in the play, her rushing out. Grinning sheepishly and waving at the audience, Anamae backed out to the wings slowly and carefully, Kain watching her the whole time with a look of 'And you say I can't stick to the script')

Kain: (Pretending to sob) Is it even so? then I defy you, stars!
Thou know'st my lodging: get me ink and paper,
And hire post-horses; I will hence to-night.

Balthasar: I do beseech you, sir, have patience:
Your looks are pale and wild, and do import
Some misadventure.

Kain: Tush, thou art deceived:
Leave me, and do the thing I bid thee do.
Hast thou no letters to me from the friar?

Balthasar: (Shakes his head) No.

Rahab: (Offstage) That's because the poisoner stopped them before they could arrive!

Kain: Oh shut up Rahab! (Turns back to Balthasar) No matter: get thee gone,
And hire those horses; I'll be with thee straight

(Balthasar leaves, thinking to look up at the balcony to see if anyone is up there, then decides not to. The balcony seats are closed off anyway, so no one would be up there. The Sarafan Lord has now stopped screaming and tried to take out a fire extinguisher to put himself out)

Sarafan Lord: (Presses the nozzle and nothing happens) Expiration date 12/3/92? Why the hell does this happen to me?! My skin is burning!!!! (Runs out into the smoke filled hall and takes his chances there)

(And the flames are now moving up and along the wiring that is lighting up the stage and creeping ever so slowly towards the curtains)

(Back onstage where more important things are happening)

Kain: Well, Juliet, I will lie with thee to-night.
Let's see for means: O mischief, thou art swift
To enter in the thoughts of desperate men!
I do remember an apothecary,--
And hereabouts he dwells,--which late I noted
In tatter'd weeds, with overwhelming brows,
Culling of simples; meagre were his looks,
Sharp misery had worn him to the bones:
And in his needy shop a tortoise hung,
An alligator stuff'd, and other skins
Of ill-shaped fishes; and about his shelves
A beggarly account of empty boxes,
Green earthen pots, bladders and musty seeds,
Remnants of packthread and old cakes of roses,
Were thinly scatter'd, to make up a show.
Noting this penury, to myself I said
'An if a man did need a poison now,
Whose sale is present death in Mantua,
Here lives a caitiff wretch would sell it him.'
O, this same thought did but forerun my need;
And this same needy man must sell it me.
As I remember, this should be the house.
Being holiday, the beggar's shop is shut.
What, ho! apothecary!

(Rahab's cue comes and he is shoved out onstage by Turel. A spotlight fixes on him, following his every move. Dressed now in black and sinister clothing, Rahab does not look like the simple priest anymore)

Moebius: Isn't he the poisoner?

Bane: Yes.

Dejoule: At least he kills someone!

(4 rows back and now 9 seats over to the left)

Faustus: Does this mean the play is nearly done?

Marcus: (Eating popcorn) Yes.

Suzu: Does anyone feel a little hot?

Sebastian: Is that suppose to be an innuendo of some sort?

Suzu: No, I have the feeling that something is on fire...

Faustus: Who cares.

(Back to Rahab and Kain)

Rahab: (Looks depressed) Who calls so loud?

Kain: Come hither, man. I see that thou art poor:
Hold, there is forty ducats: let me have
A dram of poison, such soon-speeding gear
As will disperse itself through all the veins
That the life-weary taker may fall dead
And that the trunk may be discharged of breath
As violently as hasty powder fired
Doth hurry from the fatal cannon's womb.

Rahab: Why do you want to do that? Don't you know that it's all wrong to kill yourself? Haven't you read the script? I know this play is suppose to be a tragedy, but I can't sell you the poison!

Kain: Art thou so bare and full of wretchedness,
And fear'st to die? famine is in thy cheeks,
Need and oppression starveth in thine eyes,
Contempt and beggary hangs upon thy back;
The world is not thy friend nor the world's law;
The world affords no law to make thee rich;
Then be not poor, but break it, and take this.

In other words, gimme the damn drugs, you stupid poisoner!

Rahab: My poverty, but not my will, consents. (Takes the money that is given to him and hands Kain the poison)

Kain: I pay thy poverty, and not thy will.

Rahab: (Sighs theatrically) Put this in any liquid thing you will,
And drink it off; and, if you had the strength
Of twenty men, it would dispatch you straight.

Kain: There is thy gold, worse poison to men's souls,
Doing more murders in this loathsome world,
Than these poor compounds that thou mayst not sell.
I sell thee poison; thou hast sold me none.
Farewell: buy food, and get thyself in flesh.
Come, cordial and not poison, go with me
To Juliet's grave; for there must I use thee.

Rahab: Oh, are you saying that I'm thin and malnourished? I could poison you for saying such things. Hey, where are you going? (Yells as Kain walks off) Come back here and let me talk some more! I am the mighty poisoner, all will fear me!!!!!!

(Rahab, now finally getting into the role a bit too late, begins to rant on the stage. Turel comes out quickly, the noble Prince riding by on his white horse, grabs Rahab by the hood of his costume and drags him off, all the while the theme from The Lone Ranger playing)

Bishop of Meridian: What was that?

Sarafan: Who can tell anymore?

(Suddenly the whole stage seems to shift shape and form, becoming the inside of a mausoleum instead. The audience nods and gives a round of applause for the sudden special effects and is ready to see what else will happen. Backstage, Malek hands over a small bag filled with money to Anacrothe, the Guardian of States, whom without him the scene shift would have not been possible)

(Now in a depressing mausoleum, torchlight...or is that the light from the encroaching fire...fills the stage and with the coffins and all, it looks very, very depressing. Rahab, now once again the simple friar, comes onstage again. Some people boo at him, but this doesn't affect Rahab. Why? Because he got a shot of 'happy juice' inside of him which now makes him able to concentrate on the story and his lines and not on the people or his emotions. Another actor, called Friar John – who really was a priest in real life – came out from the opposite side of the stage)

Friar John: Holy Franciscan friar! brother, ho!

Rahab: This same should be the voice of Friar John.
Welcome from Mantua: what says Romeo?
Or, if his mind be writ, give me his letter.

Friar John: Going to find a bare-foot brother out
One of our order, to associate me,
Here in this city visiting the sick,
And finding him, the searchers of the town,
Suspecting that we both were in a house
Where the infectious pestilence did reign,
Seal'd up the doors, and would not let us forth;
So that my speed to Mantua there was stay'd.

Rahab: (Shudders slightly) Who bare my letter, then, to Romeo?

Friar John: I could not send it,--here it is again,--
Nor get a messenger to bring it thee,
So fearful were they of infection.

Rahab: Damn it all! Never trust the postal system to deliver something important, huh? Why does this always have to happen at the most important of times?!

Friar John: Because the story calls for it?

Rahab: (The drug unfortunately wore off and now Rahab, pissed off with everything tonight, couldn't take it anymore) I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(And he did. Quite well, in fact. No one really believed Rahab capable of it. Now with gore covering the whole set, it did add something else to the whole play, and Rahab's robes, also drenched in blood, didn't give him the very sweet and innocent expression a friar was suppose to have)

(In the audience)

Elder God: I called it. I knew he would lose it. Pay up.

Sebastian: Oh shut up. (Hands the Elder God money)

Elder God: I'm glad I'm an omni-present being, able to see everything! (Pockets the money)

(Back onstage)

Rahab: (In a calm, detached voice) Now must I to the monument alone;
Within three hours will fair Juliet wake:
She will beshrew me much that Romeo
Hath had no notice of these accidents;
But I will write again to Mantua,
And keep her at my cell till Romeo come;
Poor living corse, closed in a dead man's tomb!

(As the curtain falls, everyone fails to notice that the fire has spread itself over the roof of the theatre house, the support beams all burning nicely and smoke beginning to fill the air. Some think that's just the special effects, and others are too thickheaded to notice. And no one bothers to look up, no because that would be too difficult to do. Except Moebius)

Moebius: People, maybe you should look up...

Nupraptor: No.

Moebius: Really, it's important that-

Mortanius: I don't really want to hear anything from you, Moebius.

Dejoule: Stop being such an attention seeker!

Moebius: (Looks up at the flames again) Okay then, I'm leaving. (Gets up) But don't say that I didn't try to warn you people.

Some Seraphim: Wait. You mean you're actually leaving?

Moebius: (Nods) Yes, I am.

Dumahim vampire: EVERYONE, MOEBIUS IS LEAVING!

(Celebration music is played, everyone begins to dance and champagne comes out of nowhere. To fill in the time between this scene and the next, everyone give the 'Hey Hey Goodbye' song to Moebius as he walks up the aisle and out of the theatre house, walking through the smoke which is getting a lot thicker than before during the last intermission)

Moebius: (Chuckling to himself) They'll be sorry, all of them. Just wait, they'll all be sorry. (Comes across the Sarafan Lord, stretched out in the hall before the doorway) Buddy, you okay?

Sarafan Lord: (Weakly) The theatre house is on fire...

Moebius: Yeah, it is, and I'm getting out of here. Bad guys have to stick together in times like these.

(Prodding the Sarafan Lord with the end of his staff, Moebius managed to make the Hylden crawl outside to safety and freedom. The two looked back to see that the left wing and most of the upper levels of the theatre house was covered in flames and watches as the fire demons gleefully skipped along and set other things on fire. And then the two bad guys got a bad idea. A really bad idea. One that was really downright low, even by villain standards. One that could make them win villain of the year award!)

Moebius: We could get rid of all the people who didn't like us or listen to us right now.

Sarafan Lord: Yes, it would be very easy...

Moebius: Lock the front door-

Sarafan Lord: Barricade it-

Moebius & the Sarafan Lord: And they're never bother us again!!!!

(And that was what they did. Dusting their hands off after putting on the heavy lock, the thick chains and then the chairs blocking the doors, the duo decided that it would be a great idea to celebrate their victory by going to the Red Raven Pub in Meridian and buying a few rounds. Now, with the last scene about to begin, it makes you wonder one more thing - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - no, actually it doesn't, not at all when you think of it)