Disclaimer: It's so hard coming up with witty remarks for these things, but I have to do it or you all will think I am giving up on humor! And the day I do that is the day I own Inuyasha and eat Brussel sprouts!
Okay, that sucked…just read the fic and leave me alone!
And do please review or I will feel neglected. *~*
Somnium et Umbra: Dream and Shadow
Descent
If the situation was not so very desperate, the expressions on everyone's faces after Kikyou's request would have been quite comical.
"K-kikyou-sama…" Miroku finally managed. By the fix of his jaw, Kagome could tell that he was becoming angry. As it was, she herself was not very amused…
"If that was supposed to be a joke," Kagome said coldly, glaring at Kikyou, "it wasn't very funny."
Kikyou, nonplussed by the girl's anger, shook her head. "I do not have time for jokes," she said.
Kagome had a sudden urge to strangle the miko. Instead, she fisted her hands in the wet cloth and took several deep breaths. 'Don't let her play with you. Let her have her fun, so long as she saves Inuyasha…' "Then why in the hell did you say something like that?" Kagome demanded.
"I had to test your resolve," said Kikyou, "What you must do is very serious and potentially very costly."
"I already said I would do whatever you needed me to do," Kagome retorted, every muscle in her body straining to keep her emotions under control, "You've already seen my mind once; wasn't that enough?"
Kikyou arched an eyebrow and tilted her head, as if regarding Kagome with new interest; Kagome met her eyes without flinching, daring her to find a weakness. "I suppose it was," Kikyou finally admitted. Without further ceremony, she continued, "To save Inuyasha, your soul must leave your body and enter his. In this, you come as close to death as you can without actually dying. You must seek him out and break him free of the darkness of the yuro-kyoufu. If you are strong enough, you will save him and the shadow will dissolve as if it had never existed. If not…you will share his fate."
Kagome felt her insides turn cold. "H-how am I supposed to do something like that?" she whispered, "How am I supposed to find him? Where do I begin?"
"To ask such a thing of a girl untrained in the ways of a miko is too dangerous, Kikyou-onee-sama!" Kaede protested, "She doesn't know the first thing about projecting her aura or fighting a darkness as pure as the one that possesses Inuyasha!"
"How else would I have heard her call for help?" Kikyou demurred, "We may share the same soul, but to seek me out and convey her message so clearly shows some mastery of projection. She can do the same for Inuyasha, with our help, provided what she did before was not an accident."
"I still don't like it," Sango interpolated, crossing her arms across her chest, "If Kagome's soul leaves her body, won't her body die? And why can't you, with all your training and spiritual power, do the same thing? Why do you need Kagome to reach Inuyasha?"
Three very good questions, and everyone turned to Kikyou in anticipation. Kikyou herself seemed slightly irritated that someone would be so suspicious, but she seemed regretful at the same time. "I cannot leave this body," she answered, pointing to her chest, "or this shell of earth and bone will collapse into dust the moment my soul departs. The witch's magic that keeps me bound to it is too fragile, and I must even depend on other souls to keep it alive. I already reached out to Inuyasha as far as I dared." Kikyou looked down at her hands, her bangs veiling her eyes. "Even that was not enough."
Kagome was torn between anger, disgust, and sympathy. Anger, because Kikyou had given up so easily. Disgust, because she had brought up the matter of the souls she stole to prolong her unnatural second life. Sympathy, which became stronger as she gazed at Kikyou's bent shoulders and shadowed eyes, because the woman had admitted that she herself was not strong enough to save the soul of the one she had once loved. 'She does love him, doesn't she? I mean, she wants him to be with her forever, but…the way she tries to do it, betraying us and trying to drag Inuyasha down to Hell…she must be very lonely.' Kagome recalled the instant she had connected to Kikyou. There had been coldness and bitterness there, but underneath, there was also a great sorrow; Kikyou had died a terrible death, believing the one she loved had killed her, and the fact that she was here now showed that at least some of that love still existed. It was all so sad and so very… 'tragic…' Kagome felt her hands fist again, but this time, the anger was directed at Naraku, whose cruel greed had precipitated Kikyou's death and Inuyasha's imprisonment.
"I'll go," said Kagome quietly, looking at Kikyou, "Just show me the way and I will bring Inuyasha back."
"Kagome…!" blurted Sango and Miroku in unison.
"Don't do it!" Shippo squeaked, "She doesn't like you!"
"I can trust you, can't I?" Kagome asked, still looking at Kikyou, "What you said you would do, you will do it to get Inuyasha back?"
"Of course," Kikyou answered, meeting Kagome's eyes, her former aura of complete serenity restored. She looked over at Kaede. "First, we need to find some holy ground…"
"Here? This is your idea of holy ground?" Sango asked, staring about with wide eyes, her hand on one of Kirara's massive shoulders. Inuyasha was on the fire-cat's back, held in place by secure ropes and Miroku's steadying hand. The monk, too, was discomfited by Kikyou's choice.
"But this place…" Miroku said, "Kikyou-sama, surely a violated grave is the last place…"
"You purified it after Urasue stole my bones, did you not?" Kikyou asked her sister as she drifted past the wide, shallow pit that had once been her own grave. The shrine marker, which had been destroyed in the act of the sorceress's violation, had been replaced by another.
"That I did," Kaede confirmed, trying not to sound as horrified as the rest of them felt, "But is this place truly the only one you can think of?"
"Why not?" Kikyou replied, mounting the steps of the actual shrine. She paused before the ornate shoji. "It is the nearest holy ground for many miles. As long as all traces of the violation have been removed, there will be no evil aura left to interfere with the spell. And we do not need to worry about offended spirits; after all, it is my grave and," she cast a glance over her shoulder at the others, "I give my permission freely."
'If she has a sense of humor, it's about the most morbid I've ever heard,' Kagome thought, suppressing a shudder as she passed the empty grave to join Kikyou on the shrine steps. The miko slid open the stiff shoji and entered the shrine. Turning to shrug at her friends, Kagome followed her into the shadowed room. Sango patted Kirara's shoulder, and the fire-cat followed Kagome, growling slightly as she carefully mounted the steps.
"Kirara's not too enthusiastic about this, either," Miroku remarked.
"Probably because she thinks Kikyou's creepy," Shippo piped, though he had the sense to keep his voice down as they entered the shrine, "She smells like death."
"You don't really have to smell her to know that," Sango muttered, blinking her eyes to adjust them to the dim interior.
The air was stale and cold, faintly scented with rotting wood. Kagome suppressed the urge to shudder as the sepulchral atmosphere seemed to press its chill into her very bones. She looked over at Kikyou, who was kneeling beside the squat altar at the back of the shrine, holding something over it. Kagome heard a clicking noise, and a small flame seemed to leap from Kikyou's hands and alight on a miniature bronze brazier.
"We will need some dry wood," Kikyou said to no one in particular, "Small enough to be burned in this brazier."
"I'll get it," Sango volunteered.
"I'll go with you," said Shippo.
Miroku was about to offer his assistance when Kaede said, "Houshi-sama, I will need you to untie Inuyasha while Kikyou-onee-sama and I set up the items for the ritual." Miroku nodded and watched Sango and Shippo leave the shrine as though happy for the excuse.
"Do you have everything you need, Kaede-sama?" the monk asked the elderly miko as he untied Inuyasha. Kagome, who was feeling particularly useless at that moment, went over to help. Inuyasha's fever had gone down noticeably, but the pale, clammy condition of his skin did nothing to reassure Kagome. She noticed that every muscle in his body was stiff and his jaws were clenched as if he was in extreme pain. 'I have to stop this, somehow,' she thought as she mutely set down two layers of blankets at the foot of the altar for Inuyasha to lie on.
"The incense itself is practically the only thing that we need," Kaede was saying, picking up what appeared to be two pieces of grey chalk about as long as her thumb, "The real strength of the spell comes from the will and spiritual power of the miko performing it and the soul of the person who will separate themselves from their mortal body." As she said this, she glanced over at Kagome and noted the resolve that shone clearly in the girl's eyes. 'I hope Kikyou-onee-sama is right about Kagome. I know the girl is strong, but she has never had to do anything like this before. And it is so dangerous!'
Miroku also glanced at Kagome as he carried Inuyasha over to the altar. 'She's really going to go through with this,' he thought as he carefully laid the hanyou on the waiting blankets, 'I admire the depth of her love, but is it really so wise to trust Kikyou-sama?'
"Will this be enough wood?" Sango asked, entering the shrine with an armload of small twigs and branches. "It's started snowing again," she added, shaking snowflakes from her hair with a toss of her head. Shippo, similarly burdened with kindling, sneezed and almost lost hold of his load.
"Shippo-chan, why don't you go back to Kaede's hut and start up a fire," Kagome suggested as she took the wood from Shippo, "I have some of your favorite candy in my bag, and you can have some while you wait for us."
"But I should stay here with you," Shippo protested, darting a look at Kikyou, "What if something goes wrong?"
"I'm sure it won't," Kagome replied, but Shippo shook his head firmly and crossed his arms, apparently determined to stay no matter how he felt. At least, not without a good reason.
"I think Kirara still needs some rest and a warm room is the best thing for her," Sango said as the fire-cat, now back to miniature size, chirred and shivered, "Can you take care of her for me?"
"Well, if Kirara really needs my help…" Shippo began slowly. The fire-cat stared at him with wide pink eyes and Sango nodded. "All right," said the kitsune, sounding almost relieved. "You'll come back safe, right?" he asked Kagome.
"I promise," said Kagome, giving him a hug. Shippo clung to her very tightly as if it would be the last time he would be able to.
'There's no way I cannot come back,' Kagome swore to herself, feeling tears sting her eyes, 'I can't let them down.' Shippo and Kirara left the shrine and Sango closed the shoji behind them.
"Let us begin," Kikyou intoned. She indicated that Kagome was to approach her and lie down beside Inuyasha. "I will ask you one more time, are you willing to do this for him, knowing the price if you fail?"
Kikyou was not testing her, Kagome knew. "Hai," she affirmed, feeling her heart begin to thud in her chest. She reached out for one of Inuyasha's hands and held it. Immediately, her anxiety faded; she had faith in herself and in the bond between him and her. "Hai," she said again, her voice strong and certain. Kikyou stared down at her for a long moment before bowing slightly.
"May your soul prove strong enough to fulfill our prayers, may it find what you seek, may its brightness not be dimmed by darkness," Kikyou said, almost chanting as she placed one of the incense sticks into the brazier. The fire leapt up and began burning hotter and hotter, the flame turning almost pure white. A blue-tinged column of smoke began to curl up from the flame, increasing in volume with each passing moment until it seemed the entire shrine would be filled with it. Miroku, sitting off to one side to stay out of the way, was surprised when a strong hand suddenly grasped his. He glanced down and saw that it was Sango's. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze that said, "Don't worry, everything is all right," and prayed he was not lying.
The blue smoke, instead of dispersing as would normally be expected, coalesced until it became a thick, opaque cloud. It hovered above the altar, waiting. Kikyou reached out toward it, her face taut with intense concentration as she began chanting softly in a voice too soft for the words to be distinguished. The cloud of smoke began to descend, pouring down on Kikyou, Kagome and Inuyasha like a suddenly released waterfall, obscuring them from sight. Sango's hold on Miroku's hand tightened until he almost winced in pain, but he said nothing, too fascinated by the tableau before him.
Kagome bit back a sudden surge of panic as the smoke enveloped her. Everything faded to a deep midnight blue, and it felt as though she was suspended in a cloud that smelled of heavy musk and the cloying scent of decay. Only her hold on Inuyasha's hand kept her anchored to herself, to the real, solid word.
"Do not resist…" Kikyou's voice, soft and urgent came to her, "You must let yourself ascend the body…your soul must depart from this world…find him, find Inuyasha…"
'Inuyasha…where…how…?' Kagome's own thoughts came slowly, as if her consciousness was slowly sliding away from her control. Indeed, she could feel the beat of her heart growing fainter, her body growing unbearably heavy and wearying, every breath coming at greater effort. She heard Kikyou chanting, the miko's voice sounding as though she was speaking from the bottom of a deep pool. Kagome could not understand the words, but they called to her somehow, urging her to…to what? 'What am I doing…?'
"She's not going to make it," Kagome muttered tensely, staring at the cloud as if her single eye could pierce the shroud, "Kagome's soul will not leave her body."
"What?" Sango gasped.
"Her will to survive is fighting the spell. If she doesn't let go, no one will be able to save Inuyasha."
"We can't give up just yet," said Miroku fiercely under his breath, "Kagome-sama has come this far!"
'I want to sleep…no…' The word blazed in her mind. 'No…not yet…I have to…' She struggled, feeling as though she was fighting a strong current that was holding her back, holding her away from… '…Inuyasha…I have to find him…Inuyasha, I'm coming!' The current suddenly reversed itself and she was hurtled forward, a blue light blinding her before she was suddenly plunged into absolute darkness.
There was a long moment of silence when Kikyou abruptly halted her soft, intelligible chanting. Sango made as though to rise, but Miroku and Kaede stopped her. The smoke dissipated, vanishing in seconds and revealing Kikyou still kneeling as before in front of the altar, Kagome and Inuyasha lying beside each other in front of her.
'Did something go wrong?' Miroku wondered, not releasing his hold on Sango. He felt a pricking sensation at the base of his spine, warning him that something had changed. Kikyou did not seem to notice his scrutiny as she reached out toward Inuyasha and Kagome's joined hands. Inuyasha was as before, his breathing shallow and pained. And Kagome… 'she's so still. Can it be? Kagome-sama…'
Sango came to the same conclusion a split second after Miroku. "Oh my god," she said, not wanting to believe it, "Kagome-chan…she's…"
"Dead," Kaede whispered.
"As I said before," Kikyou said as she disengaged Kagome's hand from Inuyasha, "this is as close to death as a mortal can get without dying first. Whether or not she truly dies is up to her…"
"Inuyasha…"
Kagome? What are you doing here; I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow…
"Inuyasha, I can't be with you anymore."
What?! Why? Kagome, what's the matter, what's wrong wi…
"Why didn't you protect me? Why did you let him kill me?"
No, this isn't happening. I haven't lost you yet, you're not her…this isn't happening…it can't be happening…
"Inuyasha, I wanted to be with you. Did you not want me to? Is that why you let me die? I'm dead because of you, because you weren't there for me…"
Kagome, I swear, I never left you, I would never leave you! This isn't happening, you can't be real, I would never…don't leave me! Kagome, don't leave me like this!
"Good-bye Inuyasha. I'm sorry I can't stay with you, but I have to go now. You understand, right?"
Don't leave me!
"Sayonara…"
Kagome!
Narrator here. I am sorry to say this, but I am actually starting to like writing angst; the darker and more hopeless things are, the better it is for some odd reason…-_- Kami-sama, I have got to stop reading depressing books (I have just finished All Quiet on the Western Front for the second time)! A lot of you are saying that I had better not kill Inuyasha or Kagome. Sorry, but I cannot make any promises.
I will thank all my reviewers in the next chapter. I am kinda in a rush to post this, as it is currently 0100 and I have a 0600 wakeup tomorrow…today…damn, I need sleep…