Title: Tourniquet

Rating: R for Suicide

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the Song Tourniquet by Evanescence.

Notes: Italic words are the lyrics.

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I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more

Duo Maxwell stared at himself in front of the mirror.  He wore his usual black outfit.  However he wasn't his usual cheerful self.  Since the end of the of the war, he'd lost weight.  He hadn't been sleeping well, the black circles under his eyes gave it away.  He'd cut himself off from his friend and former  pilots.  He had also picked up a habit.
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
He picked up the blade, holding it up.  The light glistened off the clean metal, screaming for him.  Duo took the knife and ran it along the length of his arm.  The crimson of his blood mixed with the black of his pants and carpet.

"This is it..." He whispered to himself.
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
Putting his hand, palm side down, on the counter, he made another cut through the blood.  This time it was the width of his arm.

"My faith..."
do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me

In each of the sections of the newly drawn cross, Duo wrote down the names of the ones he'd lost.  In the first, Solo.  Then Sister Helen.  Then finally Father Maxwell.  That left just one space left.  There, he wrote his own name.

"I'm coming..."
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
He stopped when he heard the phone ring.  He didn't answer it, but listened as the answering machine picked it up.

"Duo? Duo are you there?  Please pick up Duo?" Quatre's voice pleaded.  "Duo we all know you're there.  We're coming over.  We know something is wrong." He said, then hung up.
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
Hearing the answering machine beep when it finished, Duo set back to work.  He etched one more thing into his skin.  He put the knife back down onto the counter and looked into the mirror.

"I want to die!"  He shouted before punching the mirror, shattering it to pieces.
my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide

"My life!" He said, before picking the knife back up and bringing it across the flesh of his wrist.  Released from its shell, his blood flowed.  Seconds later, he felt dizzy as the room began to spin.  He fell to the floor, and died second later.

Heero and Trowa were outside Duo's small apartment, trying to break down the door.  When they did, all four of them rushed into the apartment and searched for him.  They heard a boom box playing inside the single bathroom.  Heero opened the door.  Inside he found Duo, dead on the floor.  He called for the others. 

When Quatre saw Duo, he broke into tears.  Trowa comforted his friend.  Wufei went to shut off the boom box, which was on repeat and kept playing the song Tourniquet.  Beside it he saw a note.  He picked it up and read the contents.

Guys,

I'm sorry.  I just couldn't do it anymore.  Please forgive me.

Duo

Wufei gave the note to Heero.  Later after the EMT's took Duo away, they found out about what was on his arm.  They would never forget that day.