Almost Shattered Chapter 5: Facing Reality, a speed racer fanfic

Chapter 5: Facing Reality

Speed had just whispered his first words since he had been attacked, which were, "Did they find the man who did this to me?"

Pops, Mom Racer and Trixie looked at each other - their eyes big. How were they going to break the news to Speed? Could he even handle it in his condition?

Because no one answered, Speed turned his face away in disappointment as flashbacks of the beating made him squeeze his eyes shut tightly until they hurt.

"Son," Pops said trying to get Speed to look at him. "You have protection. We have a guard outside this room and he will stay there until the man is found."

This didn't make Speed feel any better because he had seen the determination on the look alike's face to make him suffer. Fear ran through his mind as he clearly remembered his head being held by the man as the man stared into his eyes and said coldly, Don't worry. I will kill you soon. That sick man made him suffer badly and the man had enjoyed every second of it.

It broke Trixie's heart to see Speed feeling so vulnerable and she couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever be the same.

Pops knew he had to assure Speed that everything was going to be alright so he tried to sound positive as he said, "All the TV stations are showing how the police are working on the case."

Mom Racer knew she had to be strong for her son as well so she said, "Inspector Detector is very upset. He said it's his top priority to find the man."

Trixie shook her head agreeing with Pops and Mom Racer as she said, "Racer X told me that he'll find the man if it's the last thing he ever does."

Speed remembered the sound of the Shooting Star approaching and scaring the man into the woods. He owed the Masker Racer for saving his life at quite possibly the very last minute.

"The Masked Racer always comes through for you," Mom Racer said glad that Speed had a guardian angel.

Smiling, Trixie said, "He was here before when you were asleep, and he said to tell you that he'll be back to see you."

"You now have some of his blood," Pops said truly grateful to Racer X.

Not knowing what Pops mean, Speed only looked at him strangely.

Trixie could see that Speed wasn't going to ask so she said, "You needed blood during surgery and Racer X insisted that they check to see if he had the same blood type as you. Can you believe that he was a perfect match?"

For a brief second Speed thought it was actually cool that he had some of the Masked Racer's blood, but then reality hit him fast at the thought of the reason why he needed blood in the first place.

Pops decided to cheer Speed up by bringing up racing. "The other drivers were so worried about you that they almost didn't continue the race. No one wanted to participate but then after a while, the racers decided to finish it for you."

"Your friend Doug won," Mom Racer said thinking Speed wanted to know. "And he dedicated his award to you."

Speed didn't even acknowledge any of what they were saying about the race because racing was not something he wanted to think about now or possibly ever again.

Disturbing them, there was a knock on the door. Pops soon opened it and the guard who was guarding the door told him that there was a reporter wanting to speak to Speed.

Mom Racer forced herself to stay calm as she said, "I'll handle this." She really wanted to go give the reporter a piece of her mind since the person obviously didn't care about how upset Speed was over the horrible thing that had happened to him.

Pops grinned as Mom Racer walked out of the room and then he followed her saying, "I better go with your Mom since I have a few things to tell the reporter too."

Trixie watched Pops leave and was smiling when she turned back to Speed. "I feel sorry for that reporter," she said imagining both Mom Racer and Pops telling the reporter off.

Though it was small, Speed finally smiled and then held his hand out to Trixie.

Moving closer to him, Trixie gladly took his hand while thinking how happy she was that their little hand holding session was starting once again.

Speed was also thinking the same thing, because as best friends they never held hands like this before. Now after the tragedy he had gone through, she was really there for him like always. However, something suddenly started to haunt Speed's thoughts, making him begin to squeeze her hand too tightly.

Trixie felt the tight grip he had on her hand and then she saw the tense look on his face. "Speed," she said concerned. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Calming down, he stopped squeezing her hand and forced the horrible thought out of his mind. The unfortunate thought was of what the look alike might have done to Trixie if she would have been with him in the race.

"Do you want me to get the doctor?" she asked not completely sure if he was okay.

Speed shook his head no while seeing the doubt on Trixie's face as she worried about him once again.

Listening to him and not calling the nurse or doctor, she pulled her chair closer to his bed and sat down. To her surprise, he began to speak.

"You…you...look tired," he whispered slowly looking at the dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm fine," she said so glad to hear him speak even if it was only a whisper.

"I must look...like hell," he whispered while imagining the bandage on his nose and what his aching face must look like.

"No. I've seen a lot worse," she said with a smile.

"That's good to know," he whispered back slower than his other whispers.

"Speed. If it hurts, you don't have to talk."

"If I whisper...it doesn't seem to hurt all that bad."

"Okay, but don't if you don't want to because I can pretty much read your mind, Buddy," she said playfully.

"You always could," he whispered beginning to move his thumb back and forth over her hand.

Trixie looked down at their hands feeling a blush forming on her face just from Speed's caress. When she looked back at him, his eyes were closed, which caused her to yell in her head at herself, Trixie! Are you flirting with him? He's in critical condition and here you are acting like a lovesick teenager. What is wrong with you! The medication he's on probably has him not even knowing what he's doing.

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During the middle of the night Speed's name being whispered over and over woke him up. Though Trixie wasn't holding his hand, it was definitely her voice saying his name. Turning his head to the direction her voice was coming from, he saw her lying on her side, asleep on a cot. It felt weird looking at her as they were both lying down.

She then whispered his name again.

Even though the cot was close, it wasn't close enough for him to reach out his hand to wake her up out of her nightmare.

Again she whispered his name but this time with a smile. Speed then realized it wasn't a nightmare she was having. She wasn't dreaming about what had happened to him at all.

"Oh, Speed," she whispered again and followed that by a giggle as she tightly gripped her pillow.

Speed's eyes widened more than ever since being in the hospital, especially when she let out a soft sigh as she rolled onto her back. With great interest he waited to see if she would say something else but to his disappointment, she didn't.

Damn, he thought disappointed. I wanted to hear her say something about me or even better, say what we were doing with each other. He smiled as he turned his head away from her and then seeing the machines hooked up to him, his smiled disappeared. Reality kicked him hard, making him remember how helpless he was. He hated how he felt, the fear he felt, the distrust he now had and the horrible pain just to breathe. It felt as if someone stole his body and his strength away from him. A darkness filled him as he found himself wishing he wouldn't have made it. At least if he was dead, he wouldn't be so scared anymore. He had never been afraid of anything in his life and now he knew he was petrified of that man coming back to finish him off.

Suddenly he heard Trixie sigh softly again. He turned his head back to her wishing he could have really been in that dream with her - away from reality. At that second, he realized that he shouldn't have wished he was dead. It was selfish. Even if Trixie and he would be just friends forever, she still needed him and so did his family. He couldn't give up on life knowing how much they wanted him alive.

The next morning, Speed opened his eyes to find Trixie sitting up in the chair and staring out into space while holding his hand once again. She was smiling and it made him wonder just what she was thinking about.

She was definitely in another world, lost in the thoughts of her dream. It had been the second dream she had about Speed since being in the hospital. This one too started with him being perfectly fine as he pulled her by the hand out of the hospital room.

Not even remembering how they got there, they were suddenly sitting on a blanket in the park. There Speed pulled her into his arms and they started to kiss. Surprising her, he began to tickle her, making her squirm all the way down across the blanket. When her laugher stopped, she noticed the beautiful, blue sky up above and she whispered Speed's name. He responded by moving over her and giving her another kiss. Her arms wrapped around him as the kiss deepened.

Speed lay in the hospital bed smiling at Trixie who was way into space now. "Trixie," he finally whispered making her blush from the thought of his lips on hers.

"Oh...Speed," she said almost too embarrassed to look at him.

Loving that cute little look on her face, he said, "You were totally swept away."

"You don't know how much," she said pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Well...I see they brought you a cot to sleep on."

"Yes, they did," Trixie said giving the cot a quick glance before she looked back at Speed. "I guess they finally figured out that I'm not leaving you."

Sounding so sincere, he whispered, "Thank you."

"I think you're worth it," she said teasingly.

The sound of the door opening made them both look to see Racer X. Wanting to welcome him, Trixie stood up.

After closing the door, the Masked Racer then sat down on the chair on the vacant side of Speed's bed.

"I'm going to give you two sometime alone," Trixie said thoughtfully knowing that Speed might want to speak with Racer X in private.

The Masked Racer nodded a thank you to her as he turned his face to his brother's. "How are you doing?" he asked as Trixie left the room.

Speed ignored the question and whispered, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Racer X said, but down deep he really wished he would have gotten to Speed sooner, before the look alike had done as much damage as he had.

"I really thought I was dead," Speed admitted.

"Not if I'm around," the Masked Racer said with certainty.

Grateful emotions took over Speed making him turn his face away from Racer X.

Racer X knew he had to change the subject. "Doug, the winner of the race, insisted that he really didn't win. He said as soon as you're better, he wants to race against you."

Looking at the Masked Racer, Speed only shook his head no.

"We'll see," Racer X said not believing his brother. "When the times comes, no one will be able to stop you."

Speed didn't say anything as he wished Trixie was back. At least she didn't seem to care if he ever raced again.

"Anyway," Racer X began, "I hate to leave so fast but I have some business to take care of." He had already been in the woods the past few days looking for clues on the look alike. Today would be no exception.

"Hey," Sparky said entering the room with Trixie.

Trixie looked at Racer X as if to say she tried to stop Sparky.

"I should be going anyway," the Masker Racer said standing up. He was ready to continue his search for the look alike.

Speed whispered thank you again and the Masked Racer just told his younger brother to get better and then left.

"How are you doing, Buddy?" Sparky asked happily, trying to lift Speed's spirits.

"I'm still alive," Speed only whispered not sounding happy about it.

"Of course, you are," Sparky said really not knowing what else to say to that.

"He's very much alive," Trixie said winking at Speed.

Speed caught Trixie's wink just before she turned to fool with some of the flowers that were in the room. He wished so much that they would have been able to go on that date together.

Sparky noticed Speed's sudden smile and asked, "What are you smiling about? Is it the drugs or have there been a lot of pretty nurses in here?"

Shaking his head no to Sparky, Speed's smile left his face.

Trixie didn't turn to see Speed's reaction, in fear that he would be smiling over the pretty nurses. She just continued to rearrange the flowers.

"Sparky," Speed whispered changing the subject. "Please put the TV on."

"Alright," Sparky said walking to it to turn it on. He flipped through the stations until Speed told him to stop on a station that usually showed a lot of news.

Trixie walked over to the side of the bed knowing that Speed wanted to see if they had any clues on finding the look alike. At the moment, the weather was on.

Sparky stayed quite a while, even after his friend fell asleep.

"How does he seem to you?" Sparky asked Trixie as they stood by the window together. "He doesn't talk too much."

"He's been traumatized," Trixie said as if Sparky should understand. "He's still shook up."

"I know. I just hope mentally that he'll be okay," Sparky said concerned.

"We'll get him through it," Trixie said confidently. "Right now I'm just trying to keep him calm in hopes that it will help speed up his recovery."

Just after Sparky left, Trixie went into the bathroom. A minute or so later as she was coming out, she realized that Speed wasn't okay. He looked extremely upset with his eyes wide. His hands were on his ribs and the monitors were all beeping faster than they should have been.

"Speed!" she cried out running to him. "What's wrong?"

He was staring up at the TV with tremendous fear in his eyes.