It was another peaceful day in the apartment of Buds ang Gorby as they both lied down in their respective chairs, while Mara slid down beside Buds.
"Hey, Gorby," Buds said, as Gorby approached the radio. "Can you put it to 96.3 FM?"
Gorby just shrugged. (What's so special about 96.3 FM that Buds wants to hear...?) he thought. As he turned the radio on. Almost immidietly, the DJ sounded so enthutiastic.
"Well, come on, come on! We got a new wild song for ya today, from a new artist! His name is Omega..." and at that statement, Gorby looked at Buds, who just shrugged. "And getting a wild song down and dirty for his girlfriend! NEXT: Bad Touch!"
"Huh?" asked both Mara and Gorby.
-Omega X Present-
-Me Against All Odds-
-Chapter 08: Let it burn!-
**********************************************************************
[Ha-Ha! Well now we call this the act of mating ]
[But there are several other very important differences ]
[Between human beings and animals that you should know about]
(Drum sounds...)
Buds's voice... [I appreciate your input...]
and the drums now had a backup electronic organ, and Buds' voice was heard again...
[Buds]
Sweat baby, sweat baby, sex is a Texas drout
me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put you hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca Cola stock you are
incline
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Get horny now
[A long and beautiful trumpet play]
[Buds]
Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost vibrators of Mars only God knows where she stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be specific, I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft
Advisory"
So if I capzise on your thigh high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours, I'll show you mine "tool time" you'll Love just like
Lyle
And then we do it doggy style so we can watch "X-files"
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Get horny now
[Long trumpet play again]
[Buds]
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Get horny now
[Long trumpet play and fading...]
**********************************************************************
The two figures didn't react at once. Once they faced Buds, he gave them a smile.
"Oh, honey! That was wonderful!" Mara exclaimed.
=Hino temple=
"That's so sick..." Rei exclaimed, "That's so sick..."
Everyone around her looked nervous. All of them heard a line of insult towards Rei but did she hear it?
Sighing, thinking that Rei didn't hear it, Minako responded. "I like the trumpet play..."
Rei just glared at her, but stopped when her watch started alarming. "Oh, shoot..."
"What is it?" asked Makoto.
"I have somewhere to go, with Michiru and Haruka. It seems that Hotaru has another date..." Rei replied.
"Oh, so you are going to be a chaperone..." Ami said thoughtfully.
"But... doesn't Hotaru like Gorby?" Usagi said, putting down her Manga. "Wasn't he the good guy that we get along with? Not that Buds?"
Rei just sighed. "They don't trust him... Hell, I wouldn't trust him if he puts his nickname as Sperminator..."
That stopped he others from arguing.
=Back to Buds' and Gorby's Apartment=
"Well, see you guys!" Gorby said as he exited the front door.
"Mara, arent you gonna stay?" Buds asked. Mara and Gorby were going to leave, and he had no where to go.
"Sorry, Buds..." Mara said regretfully. "I have a meeting with some dieties."
Buds made a sour face. "Don't worry, Buds..." Mara said seductively. "Once this is all over, I'll treat you with love you might never handle..."
Buds smiled. "We'll see about that! What was the score?"
"We are both tied, lover boy. Bye!"
Buds just looked at the door. "Oh well," he said to himself. "I can always go follow Gorby."
=Later, at Haruka's sports car=
"Thanks guys," Rei said as he rode at the back.
"No prob. We need all hands on deck, and Pluto keeps on trusting that Sperm-mation... or whatever his name is."
Michiru still trusted Gorby, but Haruka was not yet convinced. It irked Michiru that her friend [and lover] still didn't trust such a sweet boy, that she turned the radio on.
"Okay! Okay! DJ Boink here again! And it seems that this new Omega is taking on the charts ladies and gentlemen! His first single, 'Bad Touch' rose to top 7 in only two days! And not only that! He also made another single, called 'You're Pretty When I'm Drunk!'! All I can say to this guy is 'Watch out, you might piss her off!'"
The three females looked up. Is Buds going to insult Mara? And the song started.
**********************************************************************
[sounds made by mouths like 'poofs' 'spiff' and 'bababumbum']
[Buds]
One night me and the Serminator hit the road on our mission
To insult the Senshi and go fuzzy flounder fishin'
Inners shouting on the hi-fi and the retorts were bottomless
Until we insulted that their legs look like Hippo-Pot2mus
And Tuxedo's gonna get some probably underage and dumb
And everybody knows that the Tux eats his young
Luna in the lavatory making a big stink
Peeing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink
Venus-Jupiter tanked up and wizzin' in a cup
Waiting for the tomboy Outer to come and drink it up
Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale
After that I get silly like Soupy Sales
Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed
A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz
With my beer-tinted glasses I'm ready to bitty battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf but I'll end up tending cattle
Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)
[Sounds made by mouth again]
[Buds]
Here she comes, a funky fried cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty
Cause I'm Mr. McFeelie with a speedy delivery
You'd think I was a ditch the way this chick was diggin' me
But maybe I should check and see if this is where I wanna be
Hey Sperm is she cute? [Yea for a pygmie]
Aw! What do you know? You're probably going home alone
And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone
Plus beauty, it's only skin deep
It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak
I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can
It's a msnags a trois you and me and Heineken
Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)
[Buds]
Regrets I've had a few
First and foremost I'd like to mention you
For the sake of conversation we'll call you the Brand New Heavy
Your a mix between an Juggernaut and Eugene Levy
You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut
You're Buddha you're Shamu you're Jabba the fuckin' Hutt
You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy
I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry
It was 3 A.M. and I wasn't gettin' squat
So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot
[sounds 'bakaboom bakaboom tsitsitsiboom]
I was buttering rolls like a soup kitchen Christian
Then it hit me something bit me while my little rod was fishin'
I was deep sea fishing I took a fat chance
But how was I supposed to know that Jabberjaws lived in your pants
At that junction I came to realize
That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size
Fatty fatty boom ba latty I gotta lament
That you were not a normal girl [pause] you're Sailor Mars!
Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)
**********************************************************************
After the song finished, needless to say, Rei heard the last part...
"That... That... ASSHOLE!!!!" she bellowed which could be heard all over the street.
=Later, at a restaurant=
Gorby and Hotaru sat somewhere in teh corner, talking again, while two girls with identical hats in their heads, put so deep down that it covered their hair, and identical shades which looked really weird inside a not-so-bright restaurant.
But they were left alone. I mean, hey, they are paying customers, so of course the people leave them alone. But, unknown to them, there was anitehr figure around, who had red shades, a white cap, sipping some milk shake. He noticed the three girls and smiled.
"Hey, fancy meeting you here," said the boy, taking his milk shake towards the table where the girls were.
The three looked up to him. "YOU!" Rei shouted.
"Yes me," the boy said. It was Buds, and he looked so cool with his red shades. "And don't shout. You don't want to be discovered."
Saying that, Buds just sat down and continued sipping the milkshake.
"I heard the song..." Rei said.
"Which one?" asked Buds.
"The 'Pretty when Drunk...' or something..." Rei said, every word, shaking like a 7.2 Scale Earthquake.
"Ah... The 'You're Pretty When I'm Drunk' song," Buds said, positively gleaming. "I hope you like it."
Rei still shook in rage, but her rage seemed to be forced down. Buds saw this and as an opportunity to insult her more and more without any retaliation, unless she wants them to be found out.
"I hate... it!" Rei said, every syllable repeated in an echo. "You asshole... I'm gonna get you..."
"Whatever Marsy..." Buds replied. "I'll make sure that I'll prove that you're boobs are really hairy..."
"Why don't you try?" Rei asked.
"Nah... Even if I did like you," Buds said, sipping his milkshake with gusto, traces of smile in his face. "I wouldn't be able to take your virginity without a lawnmower."
That's when Rei lost control. She jumped at Buds with unbelievable speed, which took him by surprise, and went on top of him, strangling him. Michiru and Haruka looked at Buds and Rei.
"Agh!" Buds said as he turned purple.
"DIE!!!" Rei saig, shaking with anger.
"Uh... guys," Michiru started, as she turned around.
"What is it?" asked Haruka. She turned as well, only to see Hotaru and Gorby, hands crossed glaring at them.
=Later, at Haruka's car=
"I can't believe you guys still had the guts to follow us!" Gorby said, shaking with anger.
Buds just shrugged. "Hey, I just enetered the restaurant after Mara left, and you guys came in. They," he added, pointing to Rei, "Came in after you, covered in rediculous hats and shades."
"SHUT UP!" Rei said.
Hotaru was giving her two older 'sisters' hell. It was suposed to be a private date, and here they come again.
"But we were just..."
"NO!" Hotaru said shortly. And Michiru opened the radio again. It was the same DJ.
"Whoa ladies! Everyone wants more Omega! And his third single..."
"How many singles did you do?" asked Rei, teeth gritted.
"Four," Buds said, as he shrugged.
"Everyone put their hands up! It's 'My Name'! By Omega!"
**********************************************************************
(Scratches)
Hi! Our name is (what?)...our name is (who?)...
Our name is... the Omega
Hi! our name is (huh?)...our name is (what?)...
Our name is... the Omega(2x)
Ahem...excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class for one second...
(Omega)
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of the Senshi's eyelids? (uh huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (yeah yeah!)
Try insultin them and get fucked up worse than my life is? (huh?)
My gun's live weight, I'm tryin' to get my aim straight
But I can't figure out which demoness I want to impregnate (Ummmm, Mara's here...)
And Sperminator said: "Omega you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "Then why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age seventeen I've felt like I've been seen
Coz I went against the Senshis trying to go back where I've been
Got them pissed off and ripped Luna's ears off
And smacked Moon so hard I knocked her tiara backwards like Kris Kross
I smoked a fat pound of youma and he falls on his ass
Faster than a Sailor Mars who sat down too fast
C'mere Mara! (Omega, wait a minute, that's a demon dog!)
I don't give a fuck, she's got the best set to tick the world off
Hi! Our name is (what?)...our name is (who?)...
Our name is... the Omega
Hi! our name is (huh?)...our name is (what?)...
Our name is... the Omega(2x)
(Omega)
Reiko wanted to send me in Juuban High
Thanks a lot, I'll be seeing the Senshi's numbers one to five
I smacked them in their face with an eraser
Chased Mars with a stapler
And stapled her fat long legs on a stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in a Senshi club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the cat and stuck my gun in the milk cup (Wsssshhhhh...)
Outer Senshis, running over pedestrians
In a sports car while they're screamin' at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out Sperminator does waxes more girls than I do (Damn!)
I told him he'd grow up to be a famous bikini waxer
And I'd make a song about doin' Mars and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the Senshi rush the stands
To try to kill me like some screamin' Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This white cat in Venus' house asked for my autograph
So I signed it: 'Dear Artemis, thanks for the support, Pussy-cat!!'
Hi! Our name is (what?)...our name is (who?)...
Our name is... the Omega
Hi! our name is (huh?)...our name is (what?)...
Our name is... the Omega(2x)
**********************************************************************
Everyone stared at Buds. "Well, it was a good song..." he said.
Haruka lost control. "WE DON'T RUN OVER PEDESTRIANS!" she shouted, still keeping her eyes on Buds.
"Uh," Buds began to sweat. "You are if you don't keep you're eyes on the road..."
Haruka turned around and saw that she was going through a red light, and people were crossing.
"SHIT!!!" "AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!" "SHRIEK!!!!" "YOU FUGGIN MANIAC!" were some shouts of the pedestrians as Haruka expertly tried to dodge them all, and turning to the right was by far the best solution, but, as they continued driving...
"Oh, shit," Haruka said. "I made a wrong turn..."
"There are kids here..." Michiru said angrily. Hotaru was just right behind them.
"Sorry," Haruka said, sheepishly. And turning back at the road, she swore again... "HOLY! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
Michiru, who didn't see what Haruka saw, got angry. "HARUKA! I TOLD YOU NOT TO--" and seeing what Haruka saw, she too, swore. "WHAT THE FUCK!"
Everyone present in the car fell down.
Buds rose up quickly. "It's another Angel..."
"What do we do?" Haruka said so quietly, thinking that maybe the Angel could hear them.
Buds thought for a while.
The Angel in front of them had a friggin sub-machine gun, coated in what looked like silver armor, and what he had in his left hand was a flamethrower.
"Well, talk about being a spokeperson for the NRA..." Buds muttered.
"What?" Haruka asked.
"Nothing," Buds muttered again. "This is what we'll do..."
Everyone looks up to him.
"Let's run him over..." Buds said, with a finger in his chin.
Everyone fell down. "What?" Buds asked.
"This is an expensive sports car!" Haruka shouted, sitting up. "If you think that I'll just..."
"Look," Buds said impatiently. "You want to defeat this Angel? You can't transform in this cramped car of yours..."
Haruka and the others thought about it. It was true none of them could use their powers, well, maybe except for Hotaru, but she needs her protective Sailor Fuku.
"I know you treat your car like a baby," Buds started. "But we need to do this..."
Haruka thought about it for a while, so and then she said, "OK. But what if he spots us?"
"Man, why are you so negative! We'll creep up to him, nice and slowly..."
On statement, Haruka drove slowly behind the Angel.
"What if he turns around and shooting us with that machine gun?" Gorby asked.
"Sigh," Buds said impatiently. "We'll 'will' him not to turn."
"Will him?" asked all the girls.
Having no patience to explain, he began to mutter. "Don't turn around! Don't turn around! come on guys," he added, seeing the looks of all their faces. "We'll will him not to turn."
Every one got the message, as they all started to mutter. "Don't turn around! Don't turn around! Don't turn around!"
"I hope he doesn't turn," Rei said.
"He won't," Buds said, and continued to mutter. "Don't turn around!"
As the car approached the Angel, still muttering 'Don't turn around!', an police car came from it's side, and the Angel let out his fire and fired at the car, as the police car went into flames. The car desperately turned towards his left, and the Angel continued to issue fire in the car. It was bad luck however, that the direction of the car turned was the side Haruka was, and he spotted the sports car going slowly towards him.
"He's turning," Buds said as he took the wheel and turned the car sharply to the left. The Angel took his gun and shot the side of car.
"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Michiru said as she dove down the floor of the car, while Haruka opened her door [since the passenger side was the one taking teh punishment] while Gorby opened his as well, and they all went out of teh car, panicking.
"RUN OVER HIM HUH?" Haruka shouted. "My poor car, it's being shot! Poor car... Poor baby..."
"SHUT UP!" both Gorby and Buds said as they took their guns out, as they both stood up and shot the Angel.
Buds shot with his .45 Caliber S & W guns, while Gorby shot it with his Desert Eagle. The Angel backed off a bit when he took the shots, but it utterly had no effect.
"Did you see that?" Buds said as he dove back down again to reload. "The bullets just bounced of right off him!"
"I know man!" Gorby said as he too reload. "We're in trouble man!"
The Angel shot again with his SMG [Sub-machine Gun, e.g. Like MP5s], and the girls covered their heads. Buds, just reloading, stood up and shot the Angel. It was pushed back, but nothing happened.
A helicopter flew downwards behind it, hoping to get the Angel off-guard, but the Angel just turned around and fired off with his flamethrower. Buds stood up again to fire, and saw it.
At the back of the Angel, was a red orb, and either Buds was imagining it, had a fire dancing inside it. He tried to shoot the core, but the bullets just bounced off again.
"Okay," Buds said as he doved down again. "Here's the plan." And he looked at Rei. "Take you're clothes off."
Rei just stood there, as the statement of Buds was still registering in her mind. "HEY! I know we might die! But if we are going to die, I'd rather die as a virgin than giving it to you!"
Buds just looked annoyed. "No! I'm not talking about that! Just take your cothes off, run at the side of the Angel."
"Why?!" Rei asked.
"It'll distract him, and I know you naked will distract me as well! We need him to turn around so Gorby could would have a free shot at the Angel," Buds said.
Rei cursed, but he could see that Buds had a point. She began stripping her clothes off.
Buds turned to Gorby. "Can you make anotehr Energy Shot, like what you did to the Angel in the amusement park, with your AMW?" Buds asked. Gorby nodded.
Buds went back to Rei, who already took off her shirt and trying to remove her pants. He noticed that Rei's panties had... "Hey, are those cartoon characters?"
"Oh shut up!" Rei said, as she removed her pants completely. Gorby, Buds and Haruka looked at Rei's legs and whistled.
"OW!" came the same response as Hotaru hit Gorby in his head, Michiru hit Haruka in her head, and Mars slapped Buds in the face.
Buds just shook of the slap. This was an emergency. "Anyway, as you go out there, flap your arms and make sounds like a chicken while walking around!"
"Flap my what? Why?!" Rei bellowed.
"We need to really distract him," Buds said. "Ready? GO!"
"IF I GET FRIED, YOU'RE NEXT!" REi said as she took off, flapping her arms like wings, making sounds like a chicken.
The Angel just looked at Rei eneted from the back car and started running towards the side of the road, stripped to her skivvies and flapping her arms, with a look of bewilderment in his face. He just shrugged it off, as he aimed his flamethrower towards her.
"HURRY UP GORBY!!!" Rei shouted, still flapping her arms. "SHOOT THE BASTARD! SHOOT HIM!"
Gorby got his Sniper rifle out and made a classical sniper position, aiming stedily at the core, which was now exposed. "ENERGY SHOT!" he said and fired as the Angel fired to Rei, who ducked down.
BOOM!
The shot penetrated the core, and the flame shot out of the core, and rocketed the Angel towards...
"Oh shit..." Buds exclaimed as Rei came back to get her clothes.
"What?" Rei exclaimed. She looked up, and exclaimed. "Oh shit..."
The Angle was rocketeering towards a truck filled with gasoline...
"GET OUT!" Bud shouted as the truck exploded and flew towards them...
"HOLY!!!" Haruka said as she ran as fast as she could away from her car.
The truck flew upwards, landing at Haruka's car, and exploded. The six figures covered their eyes when the explosion took place. Once they opened their eyes once more, they all sighed.
"Oh no!" Rei shouted.
"What?" Buds asked.
"I... I forgot my clothes..."
Everyone looks at Rei. She was still in her underwear.
Haruka gave out a laugh. "Oh my goodness..." she said as she put her arm on the nearly naked Rei's shoulder.
"HEY! Take your arm off me!" Rei said.
Buds also put his arm around her shoulders as well. "Well, can you blame her? Your anus is cute, you know."
Haruka, also known as Sailor Uranus, smiled. "Thanks, Buds. No one called me cute before..."
Michiru cleared her throat.
"Uh," Haruka said nervously. "Maybe the first guy to tell me that I'm cute..."
Buds looked confused, while Gorby tried to see if Hotaru was alright. It seems she was, and the tow lovebirds continued talking.
To be continued...
/-------------------------------------------------------------------------------\
Hope you like that! The songs, if you want to know, were Bad Touch, You're Pretty When I'm Drunk are from the Bloodhound Gang, and the song My Name came from Eminem's Slim Shady LP
NEXT: I dont know... Bu there is one Angel left... So... ^_^;
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------/
"Hey, Gorby," Buds said, as Gorby approached the radio. "Can you put it to 96.3 FM?"
Gorby just shrugged. (What's so special about 96.3 FM that Buds wants to hear...?) he thought. As he turned the radio on. Almost immidietly, the DJ sounded so enthutiastic.
"Well, come on, come on! We got a new wild song for ya today, from a new artist! His name is Omega..." and at that statement, Gorby looked at Buds, who just shrugged. "And getting a wild song down and dirty for his girlfriend! NEXT: Bad Touch!"
"Huh?" asked both Mara and Gorby.
-Omega X Present-
-Me Against All Odds-
-Chapter 08: Let it burn!-
**********************************************************************
[Ha-Ha! Well now we call this the act of mating ]
[But there are several other very important differences ]
[Between human beings and animals that you should know about]
(Drum sounds...)
Buds's voice... [I appreciate your input...]
and the drums now had a backup electronic organ, and Buds' voice was heard again...
[Buds]
Sweat baby, sweat baby, sex is a Texas drout
me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put you hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca Cola stock you are
incline
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Get horny now
[A long and beautiful trumpet play]
[Buds]
Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost vibrators of Mars only God knows where she stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be specific, I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft
Advisory"
So if I capzise on your thigh high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours, I'll show you mine "tool time" you'll Love just like
Lyle
And then we do it doggy style so we can watch "X-files"
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Get horny now
[Long trumpet play again]
[Buds]
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the hentai/ecchi Channel
Get horny now
[Long trumpet play and fading...]
**********************************************************************
The two figures didn't react at once. Once they faced Buds, he gave them a smile.
"Oh, honey! That was wonderful!" Mara exclaimed.
=Hino temple=
"That's so sick..." Rei exclaimed, "That's so sick..."
Everyone around her looked nervous. All of them heard a line of insult towards Rei but did she hear it?
Sighing, thinking that Rei didn't hear it, Minako responded. "I like the trumpet play..."
Rei just glared at her, but stopped when her watch started alarming. "Oh, shoot..."
"What is it?" asked Makoto.
"I have somewhere to go, with Michiru and Haruka. It seems that Hotaru has another date..." Rei replied.
"Oh, so you are going to be a chaperone..." Ami said thoughtfully.
"But... doesn't Hotaru like Gorby?" Usagi said, putting down her Manga. "Wasn't he the good guy that we get along with? Not that Buds?"
Rei just sighed. "They don't trust him... Hell, I wouldn't trust him if he puts his nickname as Sperminator..."
That stopped he others from arguing.
=Back to Buds' and Gorby's Apartment=
"Well, see you guys!" Gorby said as he exited the front door.
"Mara, arent you gonna stay?" Buds asked. Mara and Gorby were going to leave, and he had no where to go.
"Sorry, Buds..." Mara said regretfully. "I have a meeting with some dieties."
Buds made a sour face. "Don't worry, Buds..." Mara said seductively. "Once this is all over, I'll treat you with love you might never handle..."
Buds smiled. "We'll see about that! What was the score?"
"We are both tied, lover boy. Bye!"
Buds just looked at the door. "Oh well," he said to himself. "I can always go follow Gorby."
=Later, at Haruka's sports car=
"Thanks guys," Rei said as he rode at the back.
"No prob. We need all hands on deck, and Pluto keeps on trusting that Sperm-mation... or whatever his name is."
Michiru still trusted Gorby, but Haruka was not yet convinced. It irked Michiru that her friend [and lover] still didn't trust such a sweet boy, that she turned the radio on.
"Okay! Okay! DJ Boink here again! And it seems that this new Omega is taking on the charts ladies and gentlemen! His first single, 'Bad Touch' rose to top 7 in only two days! And not only that! He also made another single, called 'You're Pretty When I'm Drunk!'! All I can say to this guy is 'Watch out, you might piss her off!'"
The three females looked up. Is Buds going to insult Mara? And the song started.
**********************************************************************
[sounds made by mouths like 'poofs' 'spiff' and 'bababumbum']
[Buds]
One night me and the Serminator hit the road on our mission
To insult the Senshi and go fuzzy flounder fishin'
Inners shouting on the hi-fi and the retorts were bottomless
Until we insulted that their legs look like Hippo-Pot2mus
And Tuxedo's gonna get some probably underage and dumb
And everybody knows that the Tux eats his young
Luna in the lavatory making a big stink
Peeing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink
Venus-Jupiter tanked up and wizzin' in a cup
Waiting for the tomboy Outer to come and drink it up
Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale
After that I get silly like Soupy Sales
Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed
A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz
With my beer-tinted glasses I'm ready to bitty battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf but I'll end up tending cattle
Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)
[Sounds made by mouth again]
[Buds]
Here she comes, a funky fried cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty
Cause I'm Mr. McFeelie with a speedy delivery
You'd think I was a ditch the way this chick was diggin' me
But maybe I should check and see if this is where I wanna be
Hey Sperm is she cute? [Yea for a pygmie]
Aw! What do you know? You're probably going home alone
And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone
Plus beauty, it's only skin deep
It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak
I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can
It's a msnags a trois you and me and Heineken
Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)
[Buds]
Regrets I've had a few
First and foremost I'd like to mention you
For the sake of conversation we'll call you the Brand New Heavy
Your a mix between an Juggernaut and Eugene Levy
You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut
You're Buddha you're Shamu you're Jabba the fuckin' Hutt
You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy
I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry
It was 3 A.M. and I wasn't gettin' squat
So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot
[sounds 'bakaboom bakaboom tsitsitsiboom]
I was buttering rolls like a soup kitchen Christian
Then it hit me something bit me while my little rod was fishin'
I was deep sea fishing I took a fat chance
But how was I supposed to know that Jabberjaws lived in your pants
At that junction I came to realize
That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size
Fatty fatty boom ba latty I gotta lament
That you were not a normal girl [pause] you're Sailor Mars!
Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)
**********************************************************************
After the song finished, needless to say, Rei heard the last part...
"That... That... ASSHOLE!!!!" she bellowed which could be heard all over the street.
=Later, at a restaurant=
Gorby and Hotaru sat somewhere in teh corner, talking again, while two girls with identical hats in their heads, put so deep down that it covered their hair, and identical shades which looked really weird inside a not-so-bright restaurant.
But they were left alone. I mean, hey, they are paying customers, so of course the people leave them alone. But, unknown to them, there was anitehr figure around, who had red shades, a white cap, sipping some milk shake. He noticed the three girls and smiled.
"Hey, fancy meeting you here," said the boy, taking his milk shake towards the table where the girls were.
The three looked up to him. "YOU!" Rei shouted.
"Yes me," the boy said. It was Buds, and he looked so cool with his red shades. "And don't shout. You don't want to be discovered."
Saying that, Buds just sat down and continued sipping the milkshake.
"I heard the song..." Rei said.
"Which one?" asked Buds.
"The 'Pretty when Drunk...' or something..." Rei said, every word, shaking like a 7.2 Scale Earthquake.
"Ah... The 'You're Pretty When I'm Drunk' song," Buds said, positively gleaming. "I hope you like it."
Rei still shook in rage, but her rage seemed to be forced down. Buds saw this and as an opportunity to insult her more and more without any retaliation, unless she wants them to be found out.
"I hate... it!" Rei said, every syllable repeated in an echo. "You asshole... I'm gonna get you..."
"Whatever Marsy..." Buds replied. "I'll make sure that I'll prove that you're boobs are really hairy..."
"Why don't you try?" Rei asked.
"Nah... Even if I did like you," Buds said, sipping his milkshake with gusto, traces of smile in his face. "I wouldn't be able to take your virginity without a lawnmower."
That's when Rei lost control. She jumped at Buds with unbelievable speed, which took him by surprise, and went on top of him, strangling him. Michiru and Haruka looked at Buds and Rei.
"Agh!" Buds said as he turned purple.
"DIE!!!" Rei saig, shaking with anger.
"Uh... guys," Michiru started, as she turned around.
"What is it?" asked Haruka. She turned as well, only to see Hotaru and Gorby, hands crossed glaring at them.
=Later, at Haruka's car=
"I can't believe you guys still had the guts to follow us!" Gorby said, shaking with anger.
Buds just shrugged. "Hey, I just enetered the restaurant after Mara left, and you guys came in. They," he added, pointing to Rei, "Came in after you, covered in rediculous hats and shades."
"SHUT UP!" Rei said.
Hotaru was giving her two older 'sisters' hell. It was suposed to be a private date, and here they come again.
"But we were just..."
"NO!" Hotaru said shortly. And Michiru opened the radio again. It was the same DJ.
"Whoa ladies! Everyone wants more Omega! And his third single..."
"How many singles did you do?" asked Rei, teeth gritted.
"Four," Buds said, as he shrugged.
"Everyone put their hands up! It's 'My Name'! By Omega!"
**********************************************************************
(Scratches)
Hi! Our name is (what?)...our name is (who?)...
Our name is... the Omega
Hi! our name is (huh?)...our name is (what?)...
Our name is... the Omega(2x)
Ahem...excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class for one second...
(Omega)
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of the Senshi's eyelids? (uh huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (yeah yeah!)
Try insultin them and get fucked up worse than my life is? (huh?)
My gun's live weight, I'm tryin' to get my aim straight
But I can't figure out which demoness I want to impregnate (Ummmm, Mara's here...)
And Sperminator said: "Omega you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "Then why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age seventeen I've felt like I've been seen
Coz I went against the Senshis trying to go back where I've been
Got them pissed off and ripped Luna's ears off
And smacked Moon so hard I knocked her tiara backwards like Kris Kross
I smoked a fat pound of youma and he falls on his ass
Faster than a Sailor Mars who sat down too fast
C'mere Mara! (Omega, wait a minute, that's a demon dog!)
I don't give a fuck, she's got the best set to tick the world off
Hi! Our name is (what?)...our name is (who?)...
Our name is... the Omega
Hi! our name is (huh?)...our name is (what?)...
Our name is... the Omega(2x)
(Omega)
Reiko wanted to send me in Juuban High
Thanks a lot, I'll be seeing the Senshi's numbers one to five
I smacked them in their face with an eraser
Chased Mars with a stapler
And stapled her fat long legs on a stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in a Senshi club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the cat and stuck my gun in the milk cup (Wsssshhhhh...)
Outer Senshis, running over pedestrians
In a sports car while they're screamin' at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out Sperminator does waxes more girls than I do (Damn!)
I told him he'd grow up to be a famous bikini waxer
And I'd make a song about doin' Mars and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the Senshi rush the stands
To try to kill me like some screamin' Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This white cat in Venus' house asked for my autograph
So I signed it: 'Dear Artemis, thanks for the support, Pussy-cat!!'
Hi! Our name is (what?)...our name is (who?)...
Our name is... the Omega
Hi! our name is (huh?)...our name is (what?)...
Our name is... the Omega(2x)
**********************************************************************
Everyone stared at Buds. "Well, it was a good song..." he said.
Haruka lost control. "WE DON'T RUN OVER PEDESTRIANS!" she shouted, still keeping her eyes on Buds.
"Uh," Buds began to sweat. "You are if you don't keep you're eyes on the road..."
Haruka turned around and saw that she was going through a red light, and people were crossing.
"SHIT!!!" "AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!" "SHRIEK!!!!" "YOU FUGGIN MANIAC!" were some shouts of the pedestrians as Haruka expertly tried to dodge them all, and turning to the right was by far the best solution, but, as they continued driving...
"Oh, shit," Haruka said. "I made a wrong turn..."
"There are kids here..." Michiru said angrily. Hotaru was just right behind them.
"Sorry," Haruka said, sheepishly. And turning back at the road, she swore again... "HOLY! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
Michiru, who didn't see what Haruka saw, got angry. "HARUKA! I TOLD YOU NOT TO--" and seeing what Haruka saw, she too, swore. "WHAT THE FUCK!"
Everyone present in the car fell down.
Buds rose up quickly. "It's another Angel..."
"What do we do?" Haruka said so quietly, thinking that maybe the Angel could hear them.
Buds thought for a while.
The Angel in front of them had a friggin sub-machine gun, coated in what looked like silver armor, and what he had in his left hand was a flamethrower.
"Well, talk about being a spokeperson for the NRA..." Buds muttered.
"What?" Haruka asked.
"Nothing," Buds muttered again. "This is what we'll do..."
Everyone looks up to him.
"Let's run him over..." Buds said, with a finger in his chin.
Everyone fell down. "What?" Buds asked.
"This is an expensive sports car!" Haruka shouted, sitting up. "If you think that I'll just..."
"Look," Buds said impatiently. "You want to defeat this Angel? You can't transform in this cramped car of yours..."
Haruka and the others thought about it. It was true none of them could use their powers, well, maybe except for Hotaru, but she needs her protective Sailor Fuku.
"I know you treat your car like a baby," Buds started. "But we need to do this..."
Haruka thought about it for a while, so and then she said, "OK. But what if he spots us?"
"Man, why are you so negative! We'll creep up to him, nice and slowly..."
On statement, Haruka drove slowly behind the Angel.
"What if he turns around and shooting us with that machine gun?" Gorby asked.
"Sigh," Buds said impatiently. "We'll 'will' him not to turn."
"Will him?" asked all the girls.
Having no patience to explain, he began to mutter. "Don't turn around! Don't turn around! come on guys," he added, seeing the looks of all their faces. "We'll will him not to turn."
Every one got the message, as they all started to mutter. "Don't turn around! Don't turn around! Don't turn around!"
"I hope he doesn't turn," Rei said.
"He won't," Buds said, and continued to mutter. "Don't turn around!"
As the car approached the Angel, still muttering 'Don't turn around!', an police car came from it's side, and the Angel let out his fire and fired at the car, as the police car went into flames. The car desperately turned towards his left, and the Angel continued to issue fire in the car. It was bad luck however, that the direction of the car turned was the side Haruka was, and he spotted the sports car going slowly towards him.
"He's turning," Buds said as he took the wheel and turned the car sharply to the left. The Angel took his gun and shot the side of car.
"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Michiru said as she dove down the floor of the car, while Haruka opened her door [since the passenger side was the one taking teh punishment] while Gorby opened his as well, and they all went out of teh car, panicking.
"RUN OVER HIM HUH?" Haruka shouted. "My poor car, it's being shot! Poor car... Poor baby..."
"SHUT UP!" both Gorby and Buds said as they took their guns out, as they both stood up and shot the Angel.
Buds shot with his .45 Caliber S & W guns, while Gorby shot it with his Desert Eagle. The Angel backed off a bit when he took the shots, but it utterly had no effect.
"Did you see that?" Buds said as he dove back down again to reload. "The bullets just bounced of right off him!"
"I know man!" Gorby said as he too reload. "We're in trouble man!"
The Angel shot again with his SMG [Sub-machine Gun, e.g. Like MP5s], and the girls covered their heads. Buds, just reloading, stood up and shot the Angel. It was pushed back, but nothing happened.
A helicopter flew downwards behind it, hoping to get the Angel off-guard, but the Angel just turned around and fired off with his flamethrower. Buds stood up again to fire, and saw it.
At the back of the Angel, was a red orb, and either Buds was imagining it, had a fire dancing inside it. He tried to shoot the core, but the bullets just bounced off again.
"Okay," Buds said as he doved down again. "Here's the plan." And he looked at Rei. "Take you're clothes off."
Rei just stood there, as the statement of Buds was still registering in her mind. "HEY! I know we might die! But if we are going to die, I'd rather die as a virgin than giving it to you!"
Buds just looked annoyed. "No! I'm not talking about that! Just take your cothes off, run at the side of the Angel."
"Why?!" Rei asked.
"It'll distract him, and I know you naked will distract me as well! We need him to turn around so Gorby could would have a free shot at the Angel," Buds said.
Rei cursed, but he could see that Buds had a point. She began stripping her clothes off.
Buds turned to Gorby. "Can you make anotehr Energy Shot, like what you did to the Angel in the amusement park, with your AMW?" Buds asked. Gorby nodded.
Buds went back to Rei, who already took off her shirt and trying to remove her pants. He noticed that Rei's panties had... "Hey, are those cartoon characters?"
"Oh shut up!" Rei said, as she removed her pants completely. Gorby, Buds and Haruka looked at Rei's legs and whistled.
"OW!" came the same response as Hotaru hit Gorby in his head, Michiru hit Haruka in her head, and Mars slapped Buds in the face.
Buds just shook of the slap. This was an emergency. "Anyway, as you go out there, flap your arms and make sounds like a chicken while walking around!"
"Flap my what? Why?!" Rei bellowed.
"We need to really distract him," Buds said. "Ready? GO!"
"IF I GET FRIED, YOU'RE NEXT!" REi said as she took off, flapping her arms like wings, making sounds like a chicken.
The Angel just looked at Rei eneted from the back car and started running towards the side of the road, stripped to her skivvies and flapping her arms, with a look of bewilderment in his face. He just shrugged it off, as he aimed his flamethrower towards her.
"HURRY UP GORBY!!!" Rei shouted, still flapping her arms. "SHOOT THE BASTARD! SHOOT HIM!"
Gorby got his Sniper rifle out and made a classical sniper position, aiming stedily at the core, which was now exposed. "ENERGY SHOT!" he said and fired as the Angel fired to Rei, who ducked down.
BOOM!
The shot penetrated the core, and the flame shot out of the core, and rocketed the Angel towards...
"Oh shit..." Buds exclaimed as Rei came back to get her clothes.
"What?" Rei exclaimed. She looked up, and exclaimed. "Oh shit..."
The Angle was rocketeering towards a truck filled with gasoline...
"GET OUT!" Bud shouted as the truck exploded and flew towards them...
"HOLY!!!" Haruka said as she ran as fast as she could away from her car.
The truck flew upwards, landing at Haruka's car, and exploded. The six figures covered their eyes when the explosion took place. Once they opened their eyes once more, they all sighed.
"Oh no!" Rei shouted.
"What?" Buds asked.
"I... I forgot my clothes..."
Everyone looks at Rei. She was still in her underwear.
Haruka gave out a laugh. "Oh my goodness..." she said as she put her arm on the nearly naked Rei's shoulder.
"HEY! Take your arm off me!" Rei said.
Buds also put his arm around her shoulders as well. "Well, can you blame her? Your anus is cute, you know."
Haruka, also known as Sailor Uranus, smiled. "Thanks, Buds. No one called me cute before..."
Michiru cleared her throat.
"Uh," Haruka said nervously. "Maybe the first guy to tell me that I'm cute..."
Buds looked confused, while Gorby tried to see if Hotaru was alright. It seems she was, and the tow lovebirds continued talking.
To be continued...
/-------------------------------------------------------------------------------\
Hope you like that! The songs, if you want to know, were Bad Touch, You're Pretty When I'm Drunk are from the Bloodhound Gang, and the song My Name came from Eminem's Slim Shady LP
NEXT: I dont know... Bu there is one Angel left... So... ^_^;
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------/